vaguely past

It has been a week since Shen Qingpei came here last time.I have been staying here all the time, cutting off all communication with the outside world. In fact, even if I am given a mobile phone, I don’t know who to contact. Sister Qing comes once a week. The ingredients and all the household items are well prepared and complete, but she never stays too long. Sometimes I don't know when she came and when she left.

In short, I stayed here, but I found a problem. I started to think about it very easily. Sometimes I would be immersed in memories for a long time, and sometimes I would be in a daze unconsciously. What made me even more powerless was When I shower, I lose hair in huge clumps.

Looking at the broken hair in his hand, he couldn't help laughing at himself. Fortunately, his hair volume can't be seen, otherwise he would be even more unpopular if he became bald.I suddenly thought of what I was thinking before: It would be great if I could do it all over again, even if it was only for a month, I thought with some fear and doubt, it wouldn’t really only be a month.

But these are actually okay, what makes me feel in a trance is that I have nightmares every night, whether it is about Gu Aiyu at the time or staying in prison later.Sometimes I would also dream of Shen Qingpei, dreaming that he was so caring and busy coming home, and made a bowl of egg water for me, but for some reason, after drinking it, it turned into scarlet blood, I was so scared that I wanted to I hugged Shen Qingpei tightly, but found that he had a stiff face and asked me word by word: "What will you use to pay for your sin?"

In order not to let myself spend a long time alone after waking up at night, I began to deliberately reverse my sleep time. At night, I closed all the doors and windows, turned on the lights in all rooms, and then curled up beside the bed to read a book.I stayed up until I couldn't restrain my drowsiness before falling asleep by myself.I found that this is a good way, so I reversed day and night like this every day.

This simple and boring life didn't last long, and Yue Xun came to me.I really didn't want to see him, but I changed my clothes and went downstairs. He was obviously surprised when he saw me at first glance. I secretly thought about your expression. If I hadn't looked in the mirror in advance and knew that I was just pale, I really thought that your expression was a ghost in broad daylight.

But now there is a gap between me and him, and I can't speak freely like before, so I can only ask directly: "What's wrong?"

"Xiaoyu knows you are coming out and wants to see you."

see me?What can I see?Do you want to see if he could be used as a substitute for him ten years ago, is it still enough to be a substitute now?

"Why did you ask me to see him? Just because he said he wanted to see me, you can obey his wish without saying a word, right?"

He didn't expect me to be so rude, but I really want to tell him that the rude ones are still to come.

"Yue Xun, we don't have any deep hatred, but you haven't given me any good looks so far. At the beginning, I didn't know that Shen Qingpei liked Gu Aiyu, so I fell headlong into it. In the end, I became the scourge of everyone shouting and beating me. What about you? Knowing Shen Qingpei's thoughts on Gu Aiyu, why are you still so courteous? Which of us is the cheapest?"

In his eyes, I will always be calm and gentle, maybe he doesn't believe that I am the one who said such harsh words, he didn't react for a long time, and it took him a long time to say: "If you want to come, just talk to Shen Qingpei Just say it, and he will take you there, if you don't want to, then pretend I haven't been here today."

After speaking, he took a deep look at me and turned to leave.

Not long after he left, Shen Qingpei came. Seeing him wearing a neat suit, but with some eager steps, I knew that he probably rushed over. I guessed that his subordinates who were watching me sent him He rushed back because he was worried that Yue Xun and I would have some trouble.

I could feel his relief after his eyes caught me.Immediately he picked up the phone and explained something, and then asked me if I had eaten.

I nodded, turned around and prepared to go back to the room to catch up on sleep. In fact, I haven't eaten very well these days, and I don't have an appetite or feel hungry.From the corner of the eye, he saw that he opened the refrigerator, and then his unhappy voice came: "Why is there no shortage of things in the refrigerator?"

I was too lazy to answer, and I still wanted to go up step by step.It's just that such an unexpected guest came downstairs, I couldn't sleep no matter what, so I had to lie on the bed and toss and turn, after a while, I heard the sound of the lock on the door, got up and saw that Shen Qingpei came in with a bowl , I thought it was egg water again, but when I walked in, I saw it was the simplest millet soup.

I was silent for a long time and said: "What on earth do you want? If you want to take revenge on me, don't be like this. Anyway, I have paid ten years of youth and freedom as the price. If you are kind and don't plan to pursue me , let me go, and we will never see each other again.”

I thought he would be furious because of my words, but he didn't.Only then did I feel that these ten years had made him more calm and unpredictable.Not only was he not unhappy, but he gently stirred the soup in the bowl with a spoon, and then he said: "If you hadn't let someone tamper with my car, how could he have an accident, so that he was in a good time? He lay half dead for 9 years, you may not know it, although he has woken up, but his legs are useless, after a year of treatment, he can only maintain it until he can walk at most."

His tone suddenly became a little frustrated: "Actually, I'm the one who hates you the most. If only I was the one who got in the car. But I know that I can't change it, so I don't know why I still want to keep you."

I looked at him, and there was something I always wanted to ask him, which has been tormenting me over and over again for so many years: "I have explained to you at the beginning, it was not me who ordered people to do something on your car, I said I I only found out about it later from a friend. At that time, my mobile phone was on silent, and I didn’t hear the sound of calls and text messages. It was too late when I found out. Now I’ll ask again, do you believe me?”

"What can I redeem by saying this now? There is no way to start over. The evidence from the beginning is in front of me, how can you make me believe it?" He paused and said, "I just hate that I know you did that but still I want to believe you, even though Aiyu is still recovering, I still keep you."

My heart fell to the bottom all of a sudden, can this be explained, believe me or not, he doesn't care at all, all he cares about is the result, all he cares about is Gu Aiyu accidentally being his cannon fodder, but for me, he doesn't care at all Don't care that much.I held back the sourness in my heart and looked at him: "It would be fine if I was the one who drove the car that day, maybe I was the one who died, and at most you can just sigh and be happy."

He put the bowl heavily on the bedside table with a bang, and the rice porridge spilled all over the floor: "Did I tell you not to say dead words! What do you want to express? Innocent?"

What do I want to express?Probably because of my grievance and unwillingness, I hated myself for not doing anything, but inexplicably took the blame, and even more hated why he didn't believe me.On his birthday ten years ago, I, Gu Aiyu, and Yue Xun celebrated his birthday at home. We all drank too much that day, and the living room was messed up by us. In fact, at that time, I already knew that I might be a poor A stand-in, but no one told me that I just pretended not to know and everything remained the same.

It's just that everything changed drastically that day.I forgot who proposed to go racing, the three of them each drove a car to go out, Gu Aiyu has always liked cars, seeing Shen Qingpei's car in front of her eyes, so she couldn't help but go over and change it with him. drive.

But I really didn't want to force a smile anymore, so I had to say that I didn't feel well and didn't want to go out. The three of them were all in high spirits, and went out after talking and joking.

After they went out, I went back and started to clean up the mess. After an hour, no one came back. I was a little anxious. The place where I live here is not close to the city center, but I haven’t come back after so long. The heart began to fluctuate.When I picked up the phone, I saw the text message that I will never forget-where are you?Are you with Shen Qingpei?His car has been tampered with, don't drive! ! !