Ha ha

Chen Huan showed a slightly surprised but sincerely happy expression - that was the expression Xu Chenchuan was all too familiar with. "It seems like I haven't seen you for a long time. Tina's birthday was last week, and I thought you would come." He said.

Xu Chenchuan exhaled lightly, and raised the corners of his mouth: "Yes, unfortunately, I caught a cold that day."

"Cold?" Chen Huan looked concerned, "Is it serious? Why didn't you tell me?"

"...It's just a minor illness, it's been cured for a long time." Xu Chenchuan pointed to the office, "Sorry, I want to ask the professor to look over the thesis..."

"Oh, don't delay you, let's go." Chen Huan took a step back and made a gesture of invitation.Xu Chenchuan then passed him and walked into the door.

"Good morning," the elderly professor greeted warmly.Xu Chenchuan responded with a smile, and while handing him the printed thesis, he realized that several A4 papers had been deeply creased by him.

There's no need to be so dramatic, he told himself.They are all grown-ups, and they have to be graceful in doing things. They can't grab Chen Huan by the collar and cry and ask "why why?"

The score of this paper accounts for 40.00% of the total score of the semester, Xu Chenchuan attaches great importance to it.After chatting with the professor for a long time, I put away the A4 paper full of notes, said thank you and opened the door to go out.

As soon as he turned around, he saw Chen Huan still standing where he was.

"Scared you? I'm so sorry." Chen Huan reached out with a smile and rubbed Xu Chenchuan's head.Xu Chenchuan didn't react for a moment, and when he withdrew his hand, he took a step indistinctly, opening the distance between them.

"Are you waiting for me?" Xu Chenchuan asked.

"Well, it's almost lunch time, why don't we go to the cafeteria together?"

"No, I'm going back to the dormitory to pack my luggage. Goodbye."

Just as Xu Chenchuan took a few steps, Chen Huan followed behind him. "Are you leaving? When is the plane?"

"After finishing the last exam tomorrow, hand in the final draft of the thesis and leave."

"Well—it's so fast." Chen Huan said with regret, "I'm going to do an internship this summer, so I can't go back to China."

"Really." Xu Chenchuan replied lightly.

"I will miss you." Chen Huan stretched out his hand again.

Xu Chenchuan stopped in his tracks and looked directly at him with clear eyes.Chen Huan withdrew his hand, showing a hurt expression: "What's wrong?"

"... Now, in what capacity are you telling me these things?"

Chen Huan was stunned for a moment, then smiled wryly: "Of course it's a friend."

He spoke frankly, Xu Chenchuan only felt that his chest was congested, but he had no way to refute.Seeing that he was silent, Chen Huan sighed: "Let me take you back to the dormitory, okay?"

"No, thank you."

"I have something to tell you."

Xu Chenchuan didn't answer any more, and walked forward on his own.Chen Huan caught up and walked side by side with him, but didn't speak immediately.For a while, only the footsteps of the two could be heard, intermingling.

"...I'm sorry." Chen Huan finally spoke out.

Xu Chenchuan slowed down slightly, waiting for him to continue talking.

"That night, I was drunk, and for a moment—"

"On impulse." Xu Chenchuan actually smiled.I thought there would be something new, but it turned out that this sentence was repeated over and over again. "You've told me, and I've heard it, Ben. Not only that night, but the next day, the third day, the weekend after that... the whole month we've been together, you've been drunk every night Yes, impulsive."

Chen Huan looked away unnaturally, his face seemed a little sad.

"I'm glad you're finally sober." Xu Chenchuan grinned, "I hope you're really sober."

Chen Huan seemed to be engaged in a fierce ideological struggle: "Chris...you promised me to continue to be friends, why are you avoiding me?"

Xu Chenchuan shrugged: "I'm too busy reviewing."

"Why didn't you reply to my text message?"

"Phone is broken."

"..." Chen Huan didn't ask any more meaningless questions.

"Here we are." Xu Chenchuan stopped at the door of the dormitory, "Thank you for sending me off, goodbye."

He pushed the door open and waited for the response from the person behind him.Chen Huan lowered his head motionless, and after a while he said softly, "I'm sorry, I just want to... care about you like before."

Xu Chenchuan's heart was silently clenched into a ball in his chest.As before, what a gentle and harmless description.The former Chen Huan was indeed very gentle and gentle.Like a weightless feather, people can't help but want to treat him wholeheartedly.

Even if he fell in love with himself, dumped himself again, without giving any reasonable explanation, and finally asked himself to be friends with him as if nothing had happened... Even these things, he can be very gentle when he does them, and even makes himself feel kind Feeling guilty, as if avoiding him is doing him a great harm.

"Then thank you for your kindness." Xu Chenchuan closed the door.

******

In the evening of this day, Xu Chenchuan closed the door, corrected the paper, and planned to review the content of the next day's exam for the last time.

The roommate had already returned home after the exam, and the whole room was empty. Clothes, books, and daily necessities were all gone. There was only a suitcase beside the bed.Xu Chenchuan flipped through a few pages of the book, feeling restless, and his thoughts kept drifting to Chen Huan.

Chen Huan just came to the United States as a freshman. Although he had good English scores in China, he had to endure a culture shock when he first came here.When Xu Chenchuan saw him for the first time, he was standing in front of the cafeteria window, trying to explain to the chef what he wanted to eat in English with an accent.

"Same as the guy in front of me wanted..." he said.

"I don't remember what he asked for, can you tell me the name?" the chef asked impatiently.

Chen Huan's ears turned red.He couldn't give his name.

There was a small commotion in the line behind him.Xu Chenchuan stood behind Chen Huan, looking at his straight back, the 11-year-old self who was so embarrassed that he was about to cry suddenly appeared in front of his eyes.

"Er...Eggroll?" Chen Huan asked tentatively.

Xu Chenchuan stretched out his hand and patted him on the shoulder: "Ithinkyoumeanomelet."

"Right, Omelet!" Chen Huan and the chef suddenly realized at the same time.Chen Huan turned around, and smiled self-deprecatingly at Xu Chenchuan: "Obviously I have memorized this word, but I lost the chain at a critical moment."

When Chen Huan smiled, his eyes narrowed slightly and the corners of his eyes drooped, giving people a docile and easy-to-deceive feeling.Seeing his smile, Xu Chenchuan felt as if his heart had been gently scratched.

Chen Huan misunderstood the reason for his ecstasy: "Can you understand Chinese?"

"I understand." Xu Chenchuan held out a hand to him, "Chris."

"Ben." Chen Huan took his hand.

Everything after that developed smoothly.Xu Chenchuan tried his best to take care of this junior, answered all his questions, and introduced him to his friends.Chen Huan is very smart, he quickly adapted to the new environment, and also integrated into Xu Chenchuan's circle of friends.He is tall and handsome, with a good personality, and he can get along well with both Americans and Chinese in the school.Xu Chenchuan watched from a distance as he called others brothers and chatted happily. He knew that he should be happy for him, but he couldn't tell what was the cause of the sense of loss in his heart.

In order to get rid of that feeling, Xu Chenchuan could only continue to pay more for Chen Huan.He began to fear that Chen Huan would no longer need him, and he would no longer call his name with that faint smile.Until one day, Xu Chenchuan suddenly realized that he couldn't keep his eyes off the other party.

Xu Chenchuan's first reaction was to hide.There is no sign that Chen Huan is interested in men, so he must not let him find out about his thoughts.However, when Xu Chenchuan was alienating Chen Huan little by little, Chen Huan knocked on his door one night with wine.

after that……

Xu Chenchuan closed the book with a "snap".

The room was so quiet that a needle could be heard.He took a long, deep breath, sat on the bed with the computer in his arms, and planned to divert his attention.