Ha ha

"He's not an ideal lover, is he?"

Xu Chenchuan looked at the music box and didn't respond.

Katie observed the change in his expression for a while, and said with a smile, "Actually, after Qi's father divorced his mother, he had a short marriage with me."

"Ah..." Xu Chenchuan didn't expect her to burst out such a message suddenly, and he reacted for a while before saying, "So you are not his aunt."

"No. If I have to say it, I'm his stepmother."

Xu Chenchuan turned around and took two steps, then turned around and asked: "How much about Qi's past is there that I don't know?"

Katie smiled: "This question will have to wait for him to answer you."

Xu Chenchuan's thoughts were mixed, he digested for a while, and suddenly remembered a documentary he had watched many years ago.He thought of the girl in the film who was abused and violated by the teacher but did not dare to ask her family for help. After she grew up, she confessed to the program crew about her journey. He also thought of the girl whose mother, who was kept in the dark, finally learned the truth from the interview video. When, the expression on the face.

That was the closest relative she thought she knew best.

The daughter in the video is still crying about her loneliness and helplessness for many years. The camera focuses on the mother's face, waiting to capture her tears.However, before she shed tears, the elderly woman turned her head to face the camera with a blank blank face, as if experiencing a hallucination.

The camera is so real that it is unquestionably silent, making her realize that the life she spent together day and night in the past ten years is a huge illusion.

Sit opposite to become a merchant, and close to become Hu Yue.

"Chris, I can understand your feelings." Katie sighed, "I don't have children, so in my opinion, Qi is my half-child. As someone who has experienced it, I would advise you to give up a mentally unstable because it is too hard. But as a mother, I also want to say a few words for my children selfishly."

"I understand..." Xu Chenchuan said weakly, "I understand everything, there is no need to—"

"Chris, he cares about you and wants to walk down the road with you, maybe he doesn't even realize it. But give him a little time, I know in the end it will—"

"I'm not afraid of waiting, Katie." Xu Chenchuan stopped the woman who looked anxious, "I'm not afraid of waiting, nor PTSD."

"……what is that?"

"As you said, maybe even he hasn't seen his own heart clearly. In this case, how can you judge whether he can't show love, or simply doesn't want to? After all, you also said that the symptoms of PTSD are caused by It varies from person to person."

Katie froze.

"Do you really like Qi?" she asked.

Xu Chenchuan paused, then laughed: "That's right. I overreacted after hearing what you said." Yes, they have clearly reached this point, how could they not even have the most basic trust ?Although Bai Qi is not an ordinary person, if he is unwilling to give affection, he will not pay attention to him at all, let alone accept him.

Katie patted him: "Don't be too pessimistic, I believe you will be a perfect couple. Qi just needs to be pushed gently. I can't do it, no one else can do it, it's up to you."

"Push..." Xu Chenchuan repeated in a low voice.

"Okay, it's time for us to go out." Katie put the music box back in the cabinet, walked back to the living room with Xu Chenchuan, raised her voice and said, "I have to go to the supermarket, and I'll be back in an hour."

Bai Qi was watching TV, he didn't ask the two why they had been delayed for so long, and calmly replied: "Do you need us to go together?"

"No, you stay at home. Chris, stay and have dinner with us." Katie picked up her bag and went out, exchanging glances with Xu Chenchuan before leaving.

Bai Qi watched the mental exchange between the two of them as if watching a TV show, but still didn't speak.

The door of the room was closed, Xu Chenchuan thought for a while, sat down on the sofa, and asked casually: "What are you looking at?" He looked up at the screen, slightly taken aback.In the picture, several men in suits are discussing solemnly around a Goya war engraving, and one of them spouts various terms out of his mouth.

"...Isn't this a thousand dollars? Is it replaying?"

"Well, I just found it too." Bai Qi said.

Xu Chenchuan stared curiously at this legendary work among domestic subtitle groups, and imagined the scene when Bai Qi translated it for the first time. "Which one is your favorite character?"

Bai Qi paused, but he didn't expect that he could even remember a sentence he mentioned casually. "The one on the left with the gray hair and the shirt."

At this moment, the gray-haired man smiled and said in a solemn tone: "Beauty is conceived in happiness and delivered in pain. My daughter who just entered junior high school can also draw some bleeding roses and moan without illness, because human beings are born Knowing that there is no beauty without destruction, we naturally yearn for tragedy..."

"The whole show talks in this tone?" Xu Chenchuan looked at it with admiration, "And you turned it all over?"

Bai Qi chuckled lightly: "When I was in college...it's not the same as now."

"Do you miss it?"

"Not at all."

Xu Chenchuan laughed out loud.Seeing that Bai Qi was sitting in a wheelchair with a high view, he said, "Come on the sofa too, it's more comfortable to sit on."

Bai Qi nodded.Xu Chenchuan was about to get up to hug him, but Bai Qi refused to help him this time. He pushed the wheelchair around and moved his body over by propping the sofa.Seeing him moving really hard, Xu Chenchuan leaned over to help him.

Bai Qi sat up steadily, put one arm on Xu Chenchuan's shoulder, and dragged his unruly legs with the other to straighten him.Then he didn't let go of Xu Chenchuan, just maintaining the posture of embracing him.

The two looked at each other for a few seconds, Xu Chenchuan looked away, but Bai Qi took the initiative to kiss his lips.

"Going back to school tomorrow?" Bai Qi asked in a low voice.

"Um……"

Bai Qi kissed him again.With lips and tongue entangled, Xu Chenchuan has been a little distracted since just now, so he failed to catch the abnormal eagerness of the other party.

The male voice on TV is still impassioned: "Savage, violent, twisted corpses, Goya is a master of ugliness, because the art he pursues can only be accomplished by the most thorough cruelty. If your heart is filled with fear, anger and sadness tearing, what flows out of the wound is fresh and pure beauty..."

Xu Chenchuan finally found a gap and took two deep breaths of air.Bai Qi was amused by him, let go of him and said, "Breathe slowly."

Xu Chenchuan's face was blushing, and he secretly made up his mind to improve his kissing skills, at least he had to learn how to breathe.However, Bai Qi seemed to like his clumsiness, and lowered his head to gently touch his neck: "After graduation, did you go back to work?"

"That's the plan." Xu Chenchuan's skin was hot from the touch of those thin lips, and he stretched out his hand to touch the back of Bai Qi's head, and his fingertips passed through his long hair, "I will go find you ..."

Bai Qi moaned, and his cool fingers lifted Xu Chenchuan's hem.

"Bai Qi," Xu Chenchuan asked along the lines of the conversation, "do you have any plans for the future?"

As if someone pressed the pause button, everything around was still for a moment.Bai Qi pulled back a little distance, and asked, "What plan?"

Xu Chenchuan shrugged, went through the possible conversations in his mind, and then casually said: "Didn't you plan to do rehabilitation before?"

All the rehearsals in his head were in vain.

Bai Qi froze for a few seconds when the words fell, and then smiled. "I can't say it."

Xu Chenchuan's pupils shrank slightly.That smile was a bit unfamiliar and familiar, as if suddenly returning to the time when we first met, but the feeling was colder than that time.

Bai Qi exuded the aura that the case was closed, Xu Chenchuan remembered Katie's words, and said bravely: "I think, at least we can try, if we don't try, how can we completely give up hope?"

Bai Qi's expression seemed to be a joke.

The warmth just now is gone, the voice on the TV is noisy and annoying, Bai Qi grabs the remote control and turns it off.The room was suddenly so quiet that Xu Chenchuan could even hear his own heartbeat.

"I remember not so long ago, you once said that you don't care about my legs." Bai Qi said slowly, "So have you considered it clearly now?"

"It's not like that!" Xu Chenchuan blurted out after being stabbed in pain, "Of course I don't care, it doesn't matter even if it doesn't work after you go, I mean - I just want to see you say goodbye to that matter , just put it down in your heart... I can’t say it, but you can understand, right?”

Bai Qi did understand.

Just because I understand it, I feel sad.

The piercing sound of brakes tore through the air again and echoed in my ears, echoing with a hysterical sound.

Why don't you die - Bai Qi?

……

Xu Chenchuan waited for an answer, but there was only silence.Bai Qi's eyes darkened little by little, as if a light was going out.

"Of course, if it happens to be curative, it would be great." He tried in vain to persuade him one last time, "I hope you are better off, that's all."

"I'm living a good life. I don't need to change anything, and I can't change it. If you can't accept the status quo—" Bai Qi paused.Xu Chenchuan subconsciously prepared for the most hurtful words, but Bai Qi didn't say anything.

He couldn't speak.

But his subtext was clear enough, Xu Chenchuan's heart was half cold.

"Bai Qi... I know you have a shadow, but..."

"You know?" Bai Qi repeated.

Xu Chenchuan immediately thought of the girl in the documentary, and cried about it—for so many years, they knew nothing and lived in different worlds.

—So have you tried telling them?

——I was afraid they would hate me and drive me away.

- Don't you believe they love you unconditionally?

—I don't believe in anything unconditional.

Xu Chenchuan felt disheartened.

"I may not be able to fully understand your feelings." He said carefully, "But I am willing to listen to you, and I am willing to do my best to help you pass this chapter. In any case, I want to be with you You are together, if you believe me..."

Bai Qi's expression fluctuated.For a moment, Xu Chenchuan felt that he was about to cry, but when he looked closely, he saw a face of indifference.

Xu Chenchuan smiled weakly: "Actually, deep down in your heart, do you not want to recover, nor do you want to come out?"

This was the only explanation he could think of.

"I really never dreamed that I would compete with a dead man in my lifetime and be defeated by him." Xu Chenchuan laughed at himself, "The team leader is right, I am too overconfident."