[Titanic] I can't help myself

I quickly retreated to the other side, keeping as much distance as possible from him.

"Are you awake?" He smiled cautiously. "Want to eat something? I heard that you didn't eat anything in the morning. It's already noon now. I've brought lunch. Have something to eat."

He had a slightly bruised eye, several bruises on his cheekbones and a gash at the corner of his mouth.It seems these are caused by my wee hours.

"How did you get in?" I asked in a cold voice, and then I realized that my room was not locked, and the servant who was always on call in the living room was also his.

"Please get out!" I snapped, propping up my upper body and staring at him vigilantly.

Carl didn't move, just looked at me deeply, a worried expression was evident on his face.

"Your body is very uncomfortable." He whispered, "When you fell asleep just now, your eyebrows were furrowed, and you seemed to be a little out of breath. You looked very painful. May I ask the doctor to come over and take a look at you? Is it sour? Let me rub it for you, okay?"

"Get out, please!" I repeated.

"Come on, Henry." He leaned slightly towards me, reaching out his hand as if to touch my face.

"Go away!" I couldn't help shouting, and stepped back again, but almost fell off the bed.

"Be careful!" He stretched out his long arms, grabbed my arm, and dragged me back.

I knew he was kind, but as soon as he touched me, the strength and warmth of his palms passed through the clothes, which immediately made me get goose bumps all over my body, and all the hairs stood up, it was unbearable.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, slammed his hand away, almost rolled out of the bed, stood barefoot on the carpet, and then took several steps back until my legs rested on the on the armrest of the sofa.

"Henry!" Carl also stood up from the bed. He took two steps, trying to get around from the other side of the bed, but when he saw my resisting reaction, he stopped.

"Henry." He lowered his voice, as if he was afraid of scaring me, and said in a soft, coaxing voice, "Henry, honey, I won't come near you, I won't do it again if you don't want me to do it so you go back to bed and lie down, okay?"

"Get out!" I growled under my breath.

"I'll get out right away, I'll get out right away," he said along with me, "but tell me what's bothering you, okay? I'm worried."

"As long as I see you, I feel uncomfortable everywhere!" I said resentfully.

"My dear..."

"Shut up!" he called me disgustingly endearingly, "Get out!"

He closed his mouth, frowned, swallowed as if he was enduring something, and then said: "Henry, don't treat yourself like this, okay? It's all my fault, you can punish me, but don't do this Harm your own health..."

His soulful performance simply disgusted me for another minute.

"Please stop! The affectionate mask is not suitable for you at all, and you don't want me to be as stupid as those boys you got before!" I mocked loudly, "You don't hesitate to do this Such an atrocity, how dare you talk about your concern in front of the victim? Don't make me laugh anymore!"

"Henry, I'm so sorry for what I've done. But I swear I didn't mean to insult you or hurt you!" He said eagerly, speaking fast, "I love you, Henry, I love you so much You! Love makes me envious of every man around you, you are always so happy to chat with them, talk about everything, but more and more stingy to open your heart to me! I am so jealous, I drank too much last night Wine, I..."

I closed my eyes, not wanting to hear him use the word love to find some seemingly noble excuses, so I turned and walked towards the door.

"Henry, where are you going?" Carl followed closely behind me. He stretched out a hand as if he wanted to hold me, but he only dared to put it on my side instead of touching me.

I ignored him, opened the door and walked out.In the living room outside the door, Mr. Lai Fujie stood outside my room loyally. When he saw me coming out, he immediately asked, "My lord, are you eating now?"

I went straight to the gate, and Carl immediately stood in front of me: "Where are you going?"

I tried to avoid him several times, but he stood firmly in front of me.

"Get out of the way." I said repressedly.

"Henry, please!" He begged in a low voice, "Let's go in, shall we? Or put on your shoes first, and you sit on the sofa for a while, and I'll ask Mr. Lai Fujie to bring you the slippers."

As he spoke, he leaned over and wanted to help me by the shoulders.

All the tiredness, disgust and boredom was building up in my body.And his actions are like a needle that popped a balloon, piercing the shackles that I suppressed these gray emotions.

I slapped his face hard with my backhand, and he was immediately stunned by me.I slapped him on the mouth again.

"How dare you talk to me in such a shameless gesture? How dare you touch me?" My voice became sharp and harsh, "You make me sick! You make me sick!"

I slapped him hard several times before stopping.

These slaps were too hard, I felt that my palms were numb, and there were bursts of tingling pain.I took two steps back panting.

Carl's face looked very gloomy, so gloomy to the point of horror.

I suddenly felt a wave of fear.It's not the early hours of the morning, when I just experienced the atrocities, and as a victim, I can vent as much as I want, and now it's noon the next day.After all, the act of slapping people's faces is insulting. I'm not sure whether Karl's guilt that has been weakened for several hours will still work. .I couldn't help but watch him warily.

I never thought that one day, I would need to try to figure out his mind with the greatest malice.

Carl raised his hand, and I took two steps back nervously, but in the end he just held down the part of my face that I had attacked just now, and rubbed it lightly. With a smile, he said softly, "I won't touch you anymore, Henry, I promise."

I still stared at him warily.

Slowly, as if he had thought of something terrible, he couldn't even maintain that stiff smile any longer.

"Henry," he said softly, as if afraid to frighten me, "my Henry, God... do you think... you think I'm going to fight you?... Do you think I'm going to hit you?"

I took another step back, my legs touched the sofa, and I immediately grabbed the wooden edge of the back of the sofa, as if I could draw some inexplicable strength to support myself.

Carl's expression became very ugly, and his entire face was distorted.The muscles on his face were twitching, his lips were trembling, and he tried to speak a few times, but in the end he just closed his eyes in frustration, with one hand on his hip, and one hand covering half of his face wearily.

"I got it." He put down his hand, forced the muscles on his face to form a smile that looked like he was crying, and said in a low voice while stepping back, "I got it, I'm going out right away, I'm going out right away."

He backed all the way to the door, hit his back against the door frame, turned around to grab the door handle, but clumsily bumped into the vase on the table next to the door.The vase fell dully on the thick carpeted floor. It wasn't broken, but all the water inside spilled out, wet a large piece of carpet.

"Sorry, I..." Carl frowned, his expression as if he was enduring something, suddenly, he turned around explosively, punched the wall with a loud bang, "SHIT!" He punched hard twice, "SHIT! SHIT!"

I was so frightened that my whole body trembled, and I grabbed the edge of the sofa even harder.

Carl's hands were propped on the wall, his back was facing me, his back was up and down violently, and he turned around after a while.He was panting heavily, his eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was a little messy.

"I'm sorry..." He tried to calm his breathing, and straightened his hair backwards, "I scared you... I'm sorry..." His hand fumbled backwards and twisted the doorknob, "I'll leave right away "…" He said as he left the room.

The door closed with a click, I lowered my head and let out a soft sigh of relief.

"My lord." Mr. Lai Fujie, who had been standing quietly at the side without participating in anything, suddenly spoke, which startled me, "Do you need to eat now?"

I looked in the direction his arm was pointing, and saw the large and small plates on the table, all covered with lids to keep warm.

Although I really hate Carl's affectionate words, there is one sentence that I must agree with: I can't hurt my health.

All this is his fault, I can't because of his fault, in the end, I not only have to bear this shame and humiliation silently, but also toss my health into it.

So I nodded: "Okay."

Mr. Lai Fujie immediately pulled out the chair for me, and after I sat in, he opened the lids on the plates one by one, prepared food for me, then fetched slippers, and half knelt on the ground to put them on for me.

I flinched and accepted his service anyway.After he stood up, I thanked him first, and then said: "I want to replace the servants I brought with me to serve me, please call them in."

Mr. Lai Fujie hesitated for a while, and finally bowed slightly, and left the room to call someone for me.Within minutes, my valet entered the room.

As soon as I saw him, my anger started to rise. He didn't come in to help me change my clothes last night. If he could remember his duties and stick to his post, then I wouldn't suffer like that.

In order to avoid venting my efforts on others at will, I silently counted down from one hundred to one in my heart. After counting three times, I felt that my anger was suppressed, and I said, "Where did you go last night? Why?" Didn't you come in and change my clothes?"

The temporary valet looked very dazed at my questioning, and stammered, "You, didn't you say that I should go to rest first, no, don't I need to serve you?"

"Why did I say that?" I couldn't help raising my voice.

"Mr. Hockley told me, young master." The valet flinched, "Mr. Hockley came in when I was preparing your clothes last night, and he told me that you don't need my service anymore, let me I just go to rest, and Mr. Lai Fujie will take my place."

"Am I your employer, or Cal Hockley your employer?" I threw the knife and fork heavily onto the plate, "Who should you listen to? Did he ask you to kill me and you would follow suit?"

"Master! Of course not! Of course not!" The valet immediately became very flustered, "But... But isn't Mr. Hockley going to marry Miss Rose soon? And you have such a good relationship with him, I Think……"

I waved my hand to let him stop talking.The male servant called "Young Master" obediently, and then quietly stood aside with his head bowed.

So in the end I took out my grievances on innocent people.The valet's reasons were good and reasonable.As Rose's fiancé and my former "best friend", what he said did carry the same weight as my orders.If nothing happened last night.

I silently stared at the plate until my reason overcame my emotions, and then I said wearily: "I hope this kind of thing won't happen again, my order, unless I tell you personally, or write it down in my own hand, it cannot be absolute." believe."

"I won't make such a mistake again, master." The valet promised in a nervous whisper.

I smiled at him, picked up my knife and fork and resumed my meal.

The manservant seemed to be trying to atone for his crimes, to show me that he was really a qualified manservant, and this time he followed me closely, watching my every move, wishing he knew what I wanted as soon as I opened my mouth.I can hardly bear his attentive service.

After the meal was over, I lay back on the bed again, and the door was pushed open again.And this time it was the mother.Rose came in right behind her, looking a little absent-minded, and retreated to a corner of the room as soon as she entered the door, staring blankly out of the window.

"If Carl hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known you were sick." She walked quickly to my bed and sat down, reaching out to touch my face, "collude with Rose, don't tell me anything, in the end You don't even want to see a doctor yet. Are you only five years old? Since you're afraid I'll be worried, why don't you take good care of yourself?"

She reprimanded me softly, and at the same time asked the doctor who followed me to check on my condition.

Karl followed the doctor and was the last to enter the house.He stood at the end of my bed, with a faint smile on his face, silent.

With my mother present, I had no choice but to ask the doctor to take my temperature, blood pressure, and a series of checks before finally announcing that I was not sick at all, just a little tired.I just need a good night's sleep and nothing will happen.

My mother breathed a sigh of relief, and I also let go of my worries.

However, the next second, the doctor said that although bed rest can restore physical strength, it can also cause stiffness in the limbs. It is best to cooperate with a full-body massage so that you can truly relax.

I intuitively feel that this proposal is a conspiracy.

Sure enough, when my mother agreed with the proposal and was about to call my temporary personal servant to come in to give me a massage, Carl said, "Come on, Ruth, I'll give Henry a massage."

"How can I let you do such a thing?" Mother quickly refused.

"It's nothing. Henry and I are good friends, and it's not a big deal to massage him." Carl said with a smile, as if what happened last night had never happened, "Besides, I was also thinking about Henry. There has been some research on massage—it turns out that when you are working hard at home, you also need massage to relax—it’s better for me to come than those clumsy servants who don’t know anything.”

His mother was persuaded by him almost immediately: "This is too disrespectful to you..."

"Of course not, I'd love to."

I couldn't listen anymore, and pulled my mother's clothes, "Mom, let the servant come, I dare not let him do this kind of rough work."

"No, Henry, I'd be more than happy to serve you," he said, looking at me.

I turned my eyes away, not wanting to see him, "Mom..."

"That's my trouble, Carl." My mother didn't seem to take my protest seriously.

Carl came around and walked over to my bed.I kept building in my heart, but when he rolled up his sleeves and stretched out his hand, I sat up unbearably and opened his arm.

"I don't need your help, Mr. Hockley," I said coldly.

My mother froze for a moment, and quickly stopped me and said, "Henry, what's wrong with you? This is so impolite!"

Carl withdrew his hand and said with a smile: "Ruth, don't blame him, it's my fault. I pissed Henry off last night, and we had a big fight. I wanted to make amends secretly, but it seems that Henry didn't want to accept."

"You're too generous, Carl," said my mother. "It must be Henry throwing a tantrum at you. Good boy," my mother shook me by the shoulders, "don't be so self-willed."

He is using my mother to force me to submit.He knew I didn't want my mother to worry and wouldn't tell her what happened, and now in my mother's eyes he was the future family member who was going to marry Rose and be close to us.

I was trembling with anger, and glared at him: "How dare you... how dare you..."

I couldn't go on anymore, tears started to pool in my eyes again.

"Oh my God!" my mother exclaimed when she saw my tears, "how did you fight like this?"

"It's my fault," said Karl at once. "Let the servant come, and I won't stay here to make him angry."

I cover my eyes.My mother took me into her arms and said to Carl in an apologetic tone, "I'm so sorry...Henry is still a child..."

"It's all my fault, please don't blame him." Carl said, "Then I'll go out first. By the way, I'll let Mr. Lai Forge come over. He's very good at his craft."

Soon, he left the room with the doctor.

My mother waited until everything was quiet outside before she dug my head out of her arms, held my face and asked, "What happened to you? What did Carl do to you? ... The wound on his face , wouldn’t it be you who did it?”

I shook my head, "I don't want to say it now, Mom, I'll tell you when I get back." After I finished speaking, I buried myself in the quilt again, no matter how much she asked, I didn't speak anymore.

Mr. Lai Fujie, who came again soon, rescued me in time, and my mother had no choice but to give up asking.

For the rest of the time, I fell into a deep sleep again under the skillful massage techniques of Mr. Lai Fujie.

When I woke up again, it was already dinner time.I felt the strength of my whole body recovered, and I also felt hungry.Perhaps because of the very sufficient rest, even the mood has improved a lot, and I no longer have so many urges to cry.

There were too many invisible marks on my body, so I had to ask Mr. Lai Fujie to change my clothes, and then went to the restaurant to attend the dinner.

At the table, Carl has been trying to talk to me.In front of everyone, although I couldn't tell him to shut up and get away, I was able to ignore his words.I had been concentrating on eating, but Carl finally had to shut up embarrassingly, and then began to toss the waiters, telling them that I had just recovered from a serious illness, and asked them to prepare more nutritious things for me.I didn't refuse the food he re-selected for me. These things really fit my taste, and I didn't have to make trouble with my stomach.

I was in good spirits, and I didn't want to stay in the room anymore, so after dinner, I went to the next room to chat with the men.

Patrick was, of course, very happy to see me.

"I haven't seen you for almost 24 hours. You left me here by yourself yesterday. It's so embarrassing." He patted me on the shoulder and asked, "I wanted to go to your house today." Room for you, but Mr Hockley told me you were ill. How are you feeling, then?"

"Very good." I also patted him on the shoulder.

We chatted until it was almost bedtime.During this period, Karl has been sitting next to me, always looking hesitant to speak.Patrick asked him several times if he had something to say, but he shook his head and just lit up a cigarette again in silence.

While I don't think I'll need any more sleep today, Patrick obviously just had a great day and needs it.We said goodbye in the corridor, and Karl followed me back to the room not far or near.I ignore his presence.

And when I was about to open the door, my mother suddenly asked me to go to her room.

When I entered the room, she was wearing a high-waisted blue silk pajamas embroidered with pink patterns, holding a glass of wine, walking around the room angrily, pulling up her wide skirt.

"Rose, it's gone." She stopped abruptly and stared at me, "Again!"

I nodded, "I see. But she won't be going anywhere else, she must be on this ship. I think she should be back soon."

"Look at this!" Mom threw me a ball of crumpled paper, which I almost missed.Unfolding it, it is a portrait of a woman.But the woman was not wearing clothes.

"What's wrong?" I asked puzzled, "It's just a portrait."

"That's Rose!" the mother almost screamed. "Don't you see that? It's Rose! It's Rose! No clothes! Let a low-class person! Draw her such, such shameless ! An indecent portrait!"

The author has something to say: Let him sink the ship in the next chapter! !I am also very anxious to write~~~

Thanks to Thirteen Seals and Lei who dug the hole but didn't fill it and was struck by lightning~~ I love you~~ 咩咩哒~~