in the center of the universe

Lingling's voice is broken.Maybe she was crying, when Yan Keji saw her, it seemed that even the moisture in his body had been dried up by crying.If you can't cry, you can squeeze out a smile.

She lived in a women's apartment far away from the working hotel. The dark stairs were full of garbage and sundries, and the small and cramped space was divided into several bedrooms, most of which were bunk beds.Lingling didn't dare to live together, so she rented one of the single rooms, which was only half the size of the original dormitory.

But she still cleaned it very clean. New wallpaper was pasted on the wall, every switch was wiped spotlessly, and a cute switch cover was put on; the public living room was outside the door, so I was afraid of being exposed, so I pulled it around the single bed. When the curtain is closed, it is her favorite girly color.

Lingling locked the door and asked him to sit, but she stood there, her hair covering half of her face, and said in a low voice, "I... I just asked, after that matter... after that matter is over, do you need to go to the hospital?" ?" He didn't speak, just followed her with his eyes, she moved the corners of her mouth, probably still smiling, as if shy: "I can't ask anyone else, so I'll ask you... I have some blood, what medicine do I need? ?”

"How much bleeding?"

Lingling compared her hands, "Such a big piece...?" He noticed bruises on her hands. "If you can't wash it clean, let me throw it away." She pointed to the black plastic bag under the bed.Yan Keji took it out and opened it. Two pairs of semi-wet women's underwear were stained with blood stains after washing.Lingling quickly stuffed it back and tied it, and threw it into the trash can.

He took Lingling's hand: "Go to the hospital." Lingling screamed and resisted, kicked and scratched him, slapped him, got into the bed and shrank, and drove him away.He asked: "Lingling, did you do it voluntarily? Did your partner force you?" The scars on his forehead and face were not covered by foundation.

"Of course my boyfriend and I are voluntary! Why do you want to see someone raped so much! Don't spread rumors about me! I want to marry someone!"

He closed his eyes.It's not even dusk outside, but it's already night here.Darkness spread from beneath his feet, entangled him.

"Then let me see if you have any other injuries. If it is serious, let's go to the hospital for treatment, okay?" He slowed down his voice, "It hurts so much, what should I do when I go to the toilet? Medicine won't work."

"I won't go, I won't go—! You can go, just pretend you don't know me! If you tell me, I'll die!"

Yan Keji stood quietly beside her bed, listening to her sudden howl.Human tears really never dry up.

Lingling cried until it was really dark.

"Meimei...are you still there?" A thin voice floated out from the curtain, as if it was going to die at any moment.

"Ah."

"You didn't tell Xiaohao..."

"No," he was only two steps away from the bed, but he didn't approach, "Didn't you tell me not to say it?"

Lingling didn't speak for a long time, like talking in her sleep, she said: "Meimei, have I been punished, what bad things did I do in my previous life?"

"Don't talk nonsense."

"Did I hit you just now—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"It's okay, I didn't hit it."

Lingling probably smiled, and opened the blackout curtain a little: "Meimei, you sit here." He opened the curtain and got in, covered it again, and sat with her at both ends of the diagonal.Lingling looked at him in the dark for a while, then crawled over rustlingly, and slowly leaned against him, "Meimei, hold me for a while." He stretched out his arms and held her in his arms.Lingling grabbed his T-shirt, leaned on his chest, and twitched her tiny shoulders.

"He gave me an ID card, a woman's ID card... He also bought me flowers, treated me to Western food, and gave me a dress... He said it was almost a month, and he spent so much money on me. That's enough...I can't even beg him...I kowtowed to him...I said that I'll be with him when I become a girl...He said that if I was an ordinary girl, it would be boring...!"

Yan Keji clenched his hands into fists and held his breath.

"It hurts too much, Meimei, it hurts too much... It's all blood... It can't be washed clean, what should I do... How good it is for him to kill me directly...! Why didn't he kill me...!"

Yan Keji closed his eyes.

"Lingling, have you kept the evidence...?"

Lingling turned over and grabbed his arm tightly, which made his arm hurt: "I can't sue! How can I live if I sue! How can I see people! I beg you, please don't say it, you If you tell me, I'm going to die!"

"I won't tell, I won't tell anyone, absolutely not." He swore a poisonous oath.

"I didn't agree at first, but later, later I agreed. This is not rape, is it? Right?"

He took a deep breath, "Forget about this, let's see if there is any serious health problem, and go find a female doctor—" Lingling shook her head like clockwork, "I can't do it now...! I'm not there yet, they won't find a female doctor for me! Please Meimei, don't let me go to the hospital, you can help me see if it's okay... I'll show you!"

"spirit--"

Lingling got out of bed and turned on the light, stood on the ground and took off her clothes, not allowing him to refuse.He took one look, and then took a second look with all his courage.He saw an atrocity, a massacre, a burning, a devouring surrounded by demons.Killed all the innocence in a young girl's life, lit her and her longing for the future on fire, burned them all, and let the curse of the abyss accompany her for the rest of her life.

The ferocity visible to the naked eye whipped an innocent girl, making him timid.He shook off the quilt and said softly, "Lingling, it's too cold, put it on quickly."

Lingling got into bed naked and stared at his downcast eyes. "Meimei, do you think I've been buried..."

He shook his head slowly, and touched her bruised forehead with the back of his hand: "Is there any medicine for trauma at home?"

"I bought povidone iodine."

"That's not enough." He got out of bed and put on his clothes, "I'm going to buy some medicinal oil."

Lingling grabbed the corner of his clothes all of a sudden: "Meimei! Will you be back in a while?"

"Why don't you come back?" He held the slender wrist, "Hurry up and wash your face, don't cover it with foundation, it's not good for the wound; next... I'll buy you a pack of sanitary napkins and put it on, and then ask What medicine do you take—have you eaten? What do you want to eat?"

After asking, go downstairs to find a pharmacy.He walked through the bustling crowd after work, and the small shops on the street were filled with boxes of ice cream, frozen goods, dried fresh food, making the already narrow sidewalk even more congested.The winter chill pervaded him, even through his expensive ermine fur.After finally finding a pharmacy, the clerk asked him, "What is the injury, is it serious?"

He opened his mouth and didn't know what to say for a long time, and he blocked his chest with a breath, which made him burst into tears.He thumped the counter heavily and jumped the clerk: "What are you doing?!"

"I'm sorry," he wiped his face twice, "it's quite serious, there are bruises, redness, swelling, and broken skin—"

"Then it's best to go to the hospital to see if there is any fracture." The clerk glared at him warily, and quickly packed a pack of external medicine.He took the medicine and went to buy two more bowls of porridge. Lingling said that he couldn't eat anything, so he told the boss to order more rice soup.

Back at Lingling's place, disinfected and applied medicine, Lingling drank the porridge and took painkillers: "Meimei...can you not leave tonight?"

"Yeah. Don't go." He sat on the head of the bed, Lingling was still leaning against him.Guan Zang called once, and he said that there was something to do, so Guan Zang didn't go home and went to the hospital to accompany Ma Qian's family.

"Let's go to the hospital tomorrow and take a picture to see if there is any fracture. I have been beaten before, I know, if there is no fracture, I will be fine."

Lingling laughed softly: "You have been beaten several times." He laughed too, and said, "Why don't you have experience."

"Then you and your partner, do that thing...do you also bleed?"

"Before, he has no experience, let me beat him."

"He didn't fight back?"

"Dare? Slash him with a knife."

Lingling laughed again, and said in a low voice after laughing: "...I can't, I can't beat him."

"You have to avoid him. If he wants you, you have to change your job. You may not be able to do anything like this. You are not as stupid as I am, and you have no energy."

"Ah."

He paused for a while: "Aren't you going to tell him?"

"Meimei, I really beg you, don't let the second person know. I'll let a dog bite me. I... your classmate doesn't dare to sue, let alone me. He is rich and powerful and can't do anything. My reputation will be ruined! Then I can't afford to live!"

"Then tell me his name and where he lives, and I'll put him in a sack some night!"

Lingling put her arms around his waist, "Thank you Meimei, this sentence from you is enough, Meimei is the best." She rubbed her head on his shoulder, "His father is an official, you can't fix him, I As if you didn’t know him.”

"..."

"Meimei, don't laugh at me. I'm just angry. Why do you think I'm not a real girl? I just want to find a boyfriend to make them angry...! He... He chases me so hard. If I say I'm not a girl, he still Chasing me, I thought——I'm not that kind of rotten woman, really not!"

"I know I know."

"Don't tell Xiaohao, I can't be with him. I can't be with anyone. I, I'm sorry for him."

"...Don't think so, Xiaohao wants to marry you wholeheartedly. Besides, you won't have the first time until you have finished the operation. It doesn't count, it doesn't count."

"Really? I think so too!" Lingling became happy, her withered body seemed to inject a little vitality. "Tell me, then... can there be a membrane?"

"Yes, why not, medicine has advanced so much, maybe you will be able to have children in two years - there are researches in foreign countries, don't you know?" He said seriously. The research results seen above.

Joy and dreams made Lingling relax, "Meimei, what is your real name, can you tell me?"

"Strictly stick to yourself, add all kinds of things, your own self."

"That's nice, what do you mean?"

"Abiding by one's own heart means not forgetting one's original meaning. What's your full name?"

Lingling giggled: "I won't tell you, I'll tell you when I get a real ID card!" Gradually, sleepiness came to her, and she slid down, pillowing on Yan Keji's lap.

"Mei-keji, if you like girls, will you like me?"

"Then you have to be more fierce and tiger, just like me."

Lingling smiled and held his hand: "You are so narcissistic!"

They talked quietly and fell asleep together.Dazedly, he felt a kiss on his mouth, and put his hand inside the warm pajamas, touching the soft swell.He heard soft sobbing.

He woke up, but pretended not to wake up.

The next day Lingling went to the hospital with him to take an X-ray, and there was a little fracture in his ribs, so he had to pay attention to his usual activities and take a good rest.When he came back, he bought Lingling a handbag in the jewelry store. It was fluffy and had a pair of rabbit ears. Lingling liked it very much, and pinned a flower hairpin on the rabbit ears.Reluctant to part with the high salary of the hotel, she took two days off and went to work again.He was afraid that the man would pester her, so he went to pick up Lingling from get off work every night, causing Guan Zang to tell him again, "Keji, I'm not happy."

He chuckled: "Don't make it look like I'm cheating. When her little partner comes back, I'll have nothing to do with you." Guan Zang left two teeth marks on his inner thigh, and he got up in the morning Beating violently is also satisfying.

Yan Renjing called and asked him whether he would go home or not because it was almost Chinese New Year.He said he couldn't go back, and came back after a while, and was scolded by Yan Renjing: Do you always feel that you live clearly?You are the most fucking confused in the whole world!

He put down the phone, and insisted on replying a run on Yan Renjing: You are confused with his sister, and even more confused.

When I arrived at the hotel after get off work, Lingling didn't come out after waiting for a long time.He went to the front desk to look for her, and said that Lingling was not there. Her colleagues looked strange: "I didn't come today, and I won't be able to come in the future."

"What?"

Someone pointed out sympathetically: "You don't know, do you? He is not a woman! We have been lied to for a long time!"

"What did you say?" He slapped the front desk and grabbed his tie.

"His last partner came to look for him, and he was added to the two men, and he was still having a room here last night! After spending so many days with our little girl, who knows what kind of peace he has!"

Regardless of cursing, Yan Keji called Lingling while taking a taxi, turned off the phone, and kept turning it off.In the rental house, the roommate said that she only came back in the morning and occupied the bathroom for half a day, so many people couldn't go to the bathroom.In the afternoon, I went out again, put on makeup and new clothes, and said that I was going to have dinner with someone.

He called people who knew Lingling one by one, but no one knew.Called Xiaohao, but Xiaohao didn't answer.It was only at night that Xiaohao returned a call.When Yan Keji arrived, the cordon had already been pulled up on the side of the road. Xiaohao sat on the side of the road blankly with his mobile phone in his hand, his face was flushed from the cold, but he seemed unconscious: "Sister Meimei, Lingling said, let me not wait. She is dead, and she will come to me in the next life."

He squeezed into the crowd of onlookers, and there seemed to be a human figure under the white cloth on the ground.and a fluffy bunny ears with a floral barrette.A bouquet of flowers fell not far away, stuck to the ground by blood.

There are fireworks in the shopping malls around, and the sky suddenly lights up, like a winter thunder.

After midnight, it is the 23rd of the twelfth lunar month, and the Xiaonian in the north has come.