impossible

Lei Zhuo followed Jing Xin and went upstairs. Aunt Chen opened the door and saw the two children coming back. She smiled and told him that the mother was fine today and had dinner.Jing Xin thanked Aunt Chen, and after seeing her off, she went into her mother's bedroom to look at her, kissed her on the side, closed the bedroom door, and walked out.

Lei Zhuo sat on the sofa and looked at his hands thoughtfully, Jing Xintan thought about it, went to the kitchen and poured two glasses of water and brought them over.He sat next to Lei Zhuo, with a distance of one person between them.The two were relatively silent for quite a while before Lei Zhuo slowly asked:

"Because that guy is gay, that's why it's hard for you, isn't it?"

Jing Xintan didn't say anything, Lei Zhuo knew it was the default,

"Jing Xintan, homosexuals are not strange people, they are just..."

"I know."

Jing Xintan cut off Lei Zhuo's words,

"I know, a lot of people have told me, explained. I know there's nothing wrong with it, but..."

Jing Xintan looked at Lei Zhuo, and Lei Zhuo was also looking at him,

"You haven't experienced my life, you don't know my mother's pain, so you don't understand my feelings. I can't do it, I can't accept it..."

Jing Xintan seems to be self-hypnotic, while saying that I can't accept it, while slowly lowering her head,

"Why are you telling me this?"

Lei Zhuo kept staring at him intently, and asked calmly, but Jing Xintan felt a little uneasy at this kind of calm questioning,

"I, I just want you to understand, don't bother me in the future..."

Jing Xintan's voice was low, Lei Zhuo stared at him for a while without speaking,

"Jing Xintan, you're shaken."

"I do not have!"

Jing Xintan raised her head and stared at Lei Zhuo, Lei Zhuo just looked at him calmly,

"You are willing to accept me, you are willing to be close to me, you are influenced by me..."

"I didn't! I didn't! Don't talk nonsense!"

Lei Zhuo's face was calm, but Jing Xintan turned into anger from embarrassment. He wanted to get up and leave, but Lei Zhuo suddenly held his shoulders, and forced him to look at him. Lei Zhuo stared into Jing Xintan's eyes,

"Jing Xin talks..."

Jing Xintan suddenly felt her heartbeat speed up a lot, and she was inexplicably nervous, even trembling a little nervously.

"I like you."

Lei Zhuo looked at him, said these four words calmly and firmly, Jing Xintan was stunned for a moment, the two looked at each other for a long time, the silence in the room was suffocating.

Jing Xintan stood up suddenly, took a few breaths,

"roll."

Lei Zhuo stood up and wanted to reach out to grab his wrist, but Jing Xintan threw it away and glared at him,

"Get out! Don't let me see you again! Get out!"

Lei Zhuo looked at him, with some bitterness on his face, he hesitated for a while, then turned and opened the door to leave.Jing Xintan stood there, he felt his heart beating uncontrollably, he stretched out his hand to touch his chest, he clenched his teeth angrily.

It was getting dark, and Jing Xintan sat on the sofa in a daze for a long time, the words "I like you" were played in a loop, playing round and round in his mind.He became afraid and resentful, his anger was not at Lei Zhuo, but at himself.Lei Zhuo's confession didn't make him feel disgusted or disgusted, he couldn't accept himself like this.She got up and walked to the sink in the toilet, turned on the tap and flushed her face twice, looking at herself in the mirror, Jing Xintan suddenly raised her hand and slapped herself across the face.

Don't forget the hatred of talking about fairness, don't forget the blow and pain that homosexuality brings to yourself, and don't forget how much you should hate them.Jing Xintan looked at herself viciously, and kept hypnotizing herself.He lowered his head, resting his head on the faucet in frustration, why is this...

From that day on, Jing Xintan felt like something was going on in her heart every day, heavy.Lei Zhuo never went to the coffee shop to wait for him, nor did he see him on campus again.Jing Xintan was irritated to find that she would unnaturally care about these things, whether Lei Zhuo was waiting for her there, whether she would meet him at school, but Lei Zhuo seemed to have evaporated, and she didn't see anyone for a week. .The more I can't see Jing Xintan, the more I can't control the thoughts in my heart, I want to see him a little bit.So he was reflecting on himself every day, cursing himself every day, and his mental state became very poor.

After the morning class, Jing Xintan walked towards the cafeteria with her head down, preparing to eat something before going to work.Opening the curtain at the entrance of the cafeteria and walking in, before taking a few steps, she saw a familiar figure in front of her, walking along the window, Jing Xin stood there, looking at the person walking away.

After watching for a while, he realized that there was a boy standing in front of Lei Zhuo, who was very similar in size and shape to Zhong Shuo. Lei Zhuo looked at the boy with a smile on his face and was very doting. The boy looked back at Lei Zhuo from time to time, chatting and laughing. , if it wasn't for the difference in appearance, that scene really overlapped with Zhong Shuo's at that time.Jing Xintan just stood there watching without moving, but she didn't know it at all.

Lei Zhuo and the boy walked toward the door carrying the food, chatting and laughing, until the two faced each other, Jing Xintan realized his gaffe, he pinched his fingers into his palm, with a bit of resentment on his face.Seeing him standing there, Lei Zhuo was really stunned for a while, since he confessed his love, he has not seen him for more than a week.The boy next to him saw that they were uncomfortable but not moving their feet, so he reached out and poked Lei Zhuo with his elbow. Lei Zhuo glanced at him, hesitated for a moment, didn't know what to say, and walked over to the boy. Jing Xintan walked out of the cafeteria.

Lei Zhuo didn't talk to him, he didn't even say hello, which is definitely the effect Jing Xintan wanted.But he was inexplicably more irritable. Looking into the cafeteria, he felt that everything was not pleasing to the eye, and he lost his appetite.After standing for a while, he turned around and opened the door curtain again and went out.

Lei Zhuo and the boy walked with the food for a while, the boy was chattering, but he remained silent, suddenly lowered his head and said to the boy:

"Lei Gan, you go to my dormitory to eat first, I have something to do, I'll be back later."

"Hey, brother, where are you going!"

Lei Zhuo handed the things in his hands to his cousin, turned around and ran to the cafeteria, Lei Gan carried a lot of food, curled his lips, is this guy too lazy to mention it, hum.

Lei Zhuo trotted to the entrance of the cafeteria, saw Jing Xintan walking down the steps, greeted him, and saw that he didn't have any food in his hands.When Jing Xintan saw the person running back in front of him, his heart beat faster for a moment, he pretended not to see Lei Zhuo, and wanted to walk past him.Lei Zhuo chased him two steps and stood directly in front of him, blocking the way.

"Why didn't you buy anything?"

"Step aside!"

Lei Zhuo hesitated for a moment, and said to himself:

"That was my cousin just now, who has been abroad. He came to my house to play a few days ago, and I went shopping with him. Today, he followed me to the school to have a look."

Jing Xintan looked ahead, as if it had nothing to do with me, but he listened to Lei Zhuo's explanation, after Lei Zhuo finished speaking, he looked at his face and didn't say anything else, Jing Xintan moved and planned to leave.Lei Zhuo got out of the way, didn't take two steps, but was blocked in the front again, this time Jing Xintan frowned and looked at him, Lei Zhuo stared at him for a while, swallowed, and took the Take out a square black box.

"This is a moonstone. I, I saw it when I went to other places. I thought the temperament was very suitable for you, so I bought it and gave it to you."

Jing Xintan glanced at the box, then raised her eyebrows and looked at Lei Zhuo, who stared at him without saying a word.

"I said, don't let me see you again."

Lei Zhuo blinked, hesitated and said:

"You accept it, and I will no longer appear in front of you."

Jing Xintan stared at him for a while, according to his personality, he should just ignore him and leave as before, but this time, Jing Xintan somehow wanted to accept the box.Lei Zhuo had long thought in his heart that Jing Xin would never accept it, but the little girl who sold the stone fooled him and said that the stone could make the person you like treat you tenderly, so Lei Zhuo bought it without thinking, and then returned Decided that no matter what, Jing Xintan had to accept it, even if it was only for one day.

Therefore, when Jing Xintan reached out to take the box and left, Lei Zhuo was stunned on the steps for a long time without reacting, and when he turned around again, Jing Xintan had already walked several meters away.

Coming out of the coffee shop, Jing Xintan was a little tired, as usual, he glanced at the place where Lei Zhuo was standing waiting for him from the corner of his eye like before, but he didn't expect to catch a glimpse of someone, and he stood unnaturally on the wooden ladder After a few seconds, he pretended not to see anything and continued walking.

Seeing him coming out, Lei Zhuo ran over with a smile on his face, Jing Xintan ignored him and left, and Lei Zhuo followed beside him, talking to himself where he had been and what he had seen these days What.Turning a corner is the bus station, but Jing Xintan stopped, he turned sideways to look at Lei Zhuo,

"Is there nothing you said that is credible?"

Lei Zhuo was stunned,

"I'll take the stone, don't let me see you again."

Jing Xintan turned around and took two steps, Lei Zhuo shouted behind him:

"I like your sentence, it must be credible."

Jing Xintan stood still, frowning, he felt irritated that he could no longer control his inner feelings, a little resentment welled up in his heart, he clenched his fists tightly, turned his head and approached Lei Zhuo, and looked into Lei Zhuo with a sense of hatred. In Lei Zhuo's eyes,

"What on earth do you want? You have successfully disgusted me, what else do you want!"

Speaking of the latter part, he was about to roar, Lei Zhuo looked at him with a gentle smile on his face, he reached out to touch Jing Xintan's shoulder,

"Don't fucking touch me!"

Jing Xintan shook off him, her eyes widened.The more annoyed he is, the more Lei Zhuo knows that he has changed.

"I take back the bastard words I said before, I don't want to disgust you, I really like you."

Lei Zhuo's eyes were so sincere and gentle, Jing Xintan seemed to be afraid of his gentle eyes, he turned around, closed his eyes and let out a breath, and walked quickly to the bus station, Lei Zhuo smiled, and followed slowly past.

After returning home, she wiped her mother's body, Jing Xintan sat on the side of the bed, gently stroked Jing Jing's quiet face with one hand,

"Mom, I really want to talk to you...I'm so confused..."

Jing Xintan's face was full of sorrow and exhaustion. Jing Jing was everything to him and the driving force of his life. Facing Jing Jing, he could show his inner feelings without reservation, but now, the person on the bed would no longer be with him. When he speaks, he won't comfort him, and won't give him any response.

Jing Xintan sighed, and when she got up, the black box in her trousers pocket fell out.Jing Xintan picked it up and opened it. There was a crystal heart-shaped moonstone wrapped in white flannelette. The blue and white transparent stone was very beautiful. Jing Xintan frowned and took it closer, only to see the inscription In the shape of a lightning bolt, the box closed with a "snap", Jing Xintan closed her eyes, opened the drawer in the bedroom, and put the box inside.

Lei Zhuo doesn't gossip or provocateur in Jing Xintan's ear all the time, he knows that it will be counterproductive, so he just does not force him or provoke him as before, but he can be seen everywhere, always silently accompanying him.Jing Xintan has long become a habit of seeing Lei Zhuo at such moments, resentment and disgust only arise when he is forcing himself to do this.Most of the time, he chooses to ignore it, but what is different from before is that deep in his heart, there is a warm feeling, unprecedented warmth.

Lei Zhuo knew that Jing Xintan was slowly changing, even though he still ignored him, the words he said were extremely cruel, but the resentment and disgust that came from the heart no longer appeared on Jing Xintan's face, and he said Jing Xintan can also listen to the words, but he doesn't respond.But just like this, Lei Zhuo already felt satisfied, he had hope, he felt that Jing Xintan's heart was not made of stone, and one day he would be moved by him.