impossible

Jing Xintan sat by the bed in a daze, Lei Zhuo walked in with a glass of water.When Jing Jing was pushed out yesterday, Jing Xintan collapsed, hugging Jing Jing and crying, Lei Zhuo and Tan Gonggong dragged him away together, and the nurse pushed him to the morgue.

After Jing Xintan came back, he cried for a whole day, and the tears probably all flowed away. He sat on the edge of the bed with his red and swollen eyes open. She didn't catch up with her sister for the last time, so she sat in the living room and sobbed all day and night, talking about going to the formalities and funeral matters.

"Drink some water, what will happen to your body if you don't eat or drink."

Lei Zhuo walked up to Jing Xintan and knelt down to look at him. Jing Xintan's eyes were loose, but he just stared straight at the ground in front of him without making a sound.Lei Zhuo sighed, put the water glass on the cabinet, he got up and closed the bedroom door, then walked up to him and squatted down, reached out to hold Jing Xintan's hand on his lap.

"I know you are sad, be strong. Heart to heart, you and me, no matter when, as long as you need, I will never leave you."

Lei Zhuo looked up at his face seriously, Jing Xintan's slack eyes seemed to focus a little bit, he moved his fingers, Lei Zhuo clenched his hand even more,

"Let's not talk about this anymore. Auntie won't want you to think about her without eating or drinking. Let's take care of ourselves so that she can feel at ease, okay?"

Jing Xintan lowered her head to look at Lei Zhuo, her face was covered with sadness,

"I want to be quiet for a while, you go out."

Lei Zhuo reached out to touch his helpless face, Jing Xintan didn't avoid it, Lei Zhuo suddenly stood up and turned his head, and kissed him lightly on the cheek,

"I'm just outside. Call me if you have something to do, but promise me not to be too sad, okay?"

Jing Xintan lowered his head and did not respond, Lei Zhuo got up and took the water cup from the cabinet, gave him a worried look, opened the door and walked out.

The funeral was held at the funeral parlor in Dongtai City. Early this morning, many people came, all dressed in black.Jing Xintan had never seen most of them before. Lei Zhuo heard that many of them were old colleagues from the paper mill. Tan Gongyi stood at the door to welcome people. Lei Zhuo was wearing a black formal suit and stood behind Jing Xintan. Xiang's face was expressionless, and Jing Xiang couldn't straighten up from crying.Old colleagues and old friends who come and go will come to comfort him, Jing Xintan still doesn't move while looking ahead, Lei Zhuo greets the next person for him.

When Jing Xiang was pushed away for cremation, the room was filled with cries and cries. Jing Xiang knelt on the ground in agony, and Tan Gonggong watched the staff push the body away. He clenched his teeth, but he couldn't hold back his tears.The same is true for Lei Zhuo, he was worried about Jing Xintan and paid attention to his actions the whole time, but Jing Xintan unexpectedly didn't cry and make a fuss, he stood upright, closed his eyes tightly, not daring to look, Tears kept sliding down his cheeks to his chin.

All the ceremonies were over, and Jing Jing had already slept under the stele.The relatives and friends who came to visit all left one after another, and only four of them were still standing in front of the stele. Jing Xiang stroked the stele, reluctant to leave, and Jing Xintan also reached out to touch her mother's photo, feeling bitter in her heart.Lei Zhuo walked into him, reached out and clasped his shoulder,

"It's getting late, let's go."

Jing Xintan just stared at the tombstone, but did not respond, Lei Zhuo exerted some force in his hands, and pushed him to go out.Tan Gongyun bowed and helped Jingxiang up,

"Let's go."

Jing Xiang stood up tremblingly, her eyes were red and swollen.Two by two side by side, the four walked out of the cemetery one after the other.Jing Xintan was expressionless all the time, as if he was in a daze.Go to the door, talk about fairness and call everyone to stop,

"I'm going to drive, you wait here."

Lei Zhuo was about to nod, but Jing Xintan spoke,

"No need."

Tan Gongyun was stunned for a moment, then looked at him,

"Talk about it. The traffic on this mountain is inconvenient. Dad will drive you back."

Jing Xintan raised his head, his face was a bit ferocious, he looked at Tan Gongrong's eyes, which made Tan Gonggong a little chilly,

"If it wasn't for you, my mother wouldn't have died. To be fair, you are not my father, you are my enemy."

Jing Xin Tan took a step closer to Tan Gongrong's face, Tan Gonggong frowned deeply and looked at him, Jing Xin Tan's ferocious face was like a pervert, and even had a smile on it,

"Heart talk..."

Lei Zhuo walked into him, reached out his hand worriedly and grabbed his sleeve, Jing Xin Tan shook him off, continued to stare at Tan Gongrong and said:

"Don't be hypocritical here, you killed my mother, and I won't make it easy for you. You wait, I will settle this account with you. Before that, if you don't want to die early, don't do it again. Let me see you."

Jing Xintan gritted his teeth and stared at Tan Gongrong after finishing speaking, then turned around and glanced at Lei Zhuo again, Lei Zhuo looked at him, he only saw the pain and helplessness in Jing Xintan's eyes, Jing Xintan didn't say anything to him What, but passed him, and supported Jing Xiang on the way down the mountain.

"Talk!"

Lei Zhuo looked at his back and yelled, he turned his head to look at Tan Gongyi standing there like a fool,

"Uncle Tan, what Xin Tan said is just angry words, don't pay attention. You go back first, I will find a way to go back with them."

After finishing speaking, he quickly chased after him.Tan Gongyun stood there in a daze, those few words of Jing Xintan were circling in his mind, making his back feel chilly, he raised his hands and rubbed his face hard, his face was full of fatigue and bitterness.

When he got home, Jiang Kang had already prepared dinner and sat at the dining table waiting for him.Hearing the sound of the door, he hurried over to greet him, looking at Tan Gonggong's tired and lifeless face, he felt a little distressed.Tan Gongrong changed his shoes, walked up to him, took off his suit jacket and threw it on the sofa, then rushed over and hugged him tightly.Jiang Kang hugged the person hanging on his body tightly with his backhand,

"It will all pass."

Tan Gongyun leaned against his neck and dawdled. Only Jiang Kang's breath could make his heart, which was poked like a hornet's nest, heal slowly.

"He said that I was his enemy, and he wanted me to die."

Jiang Kang was taken aback when he heard his nonsensical words,

"Who? Talk?!"

Tan Gongyun nodded with his head buried, Jiang Kang thought for a while, then stretched out his hand to pat him on the back,

"No. He is too sad to vent like this. Don't worry about him. Give him some time, and he will think about it slowly. "

Tan Gongyi shook his head, but didn't say anything.He knew that what Jing Xin said was not angry, that look in his eyes, that face, he wished that he would go to the [-]th floor of hell, besides, he was right to hate himself, after all, Jing Jing's death did have something to do with him.It's just that he was really in pain and tired, and he could feel that although Jing Xintan and him were biological father and son, they would only go further and further away in the future, becoming more and more out of control.

He left Jiang Kang's embrace, and said tiredly that he would take a shower first.Jiang Kang nodded, and went to the bedroom to change clothes when he was talking about fairness. Jiang Kang stared at him and walked into the bedroom, sighed, went to pick up the suit on the sofa, ready to hang it up for dry cleaning tomorrow, and habitually took out all his pockets , but took out a photo from his inner breast pocket.It was an old and yellowed photo. In the photo, everyone was wearing the same overalls. Tan Gong was surrounded by everyone. He was young and handsome, smiling brightly.Standing next to him was a little girl, like the little sister next door, smiling happily.Jiang Kang frowned, he still vaguely remembered the appearance of this girl, once upon a time in that old small apartment, when he came home from get off work early, the girl came to talk about fairness, and left in a hurry after seeing him, so young so cute...

Jing Xintan, Lei Zhuo, and Jing Xiang returned to the rented house, and as soon as they entered the bedroom, Jing Xintan couldn't suppress the pain in his heart.The room was full of tranquility, he stretched out his hand and bit the back of his hand, but he still couldn't hold back the tears from falling down.

"Heart talk, I... heart talk?"

Lei Zhuo originally wanted to come in and ask him what he wanted to eat and buy it himself, but when he saw Jing Xintan who was holding back his tears, he was quickly wiping away the tears from his face, Lei Zhuo sighed in his heart, he glanced outside, Jing Xintan Xiang also sat on the sofa in a daze, Lei Zhuo quietly closed the bedroom door, came over and grabbed Jing Xintan's shoulder,

"Talk, look at me."

Jing Xintan lowered her eyebrows and hesitated for a moment, then slowly raised her eyes.

"It will get better slowly. You can cry with me and vent to me, but you must be strong. As I said, I will always be with you, so let's look forward, take auntie's sake, and work hard Live, okay?"

Jing Xintan looked at him, but didn't answer him, Lei Zhuo sighed, reached out and rubbed his head,

"You guys are at home, I'm going to buy some food."

After speaking, Lei Zhuo walked towards the door,

"Lei Zhuo."

Jing Xintan stopped him, Lei Zhuo turned to look at him, Jing Xintan hesitated for a while, then raised his head and said:

"Thanks for everything you have done for me."

Lei Zhuo frowned upon hearing this,

"But don't bother me any more in the future, I... I can't accept you."

Jing Xintan hesitantly finished speaking, gritted his teeth secretly, he looked into Lei Zhuo's eyes, a trace of sadness appeared on Lei Zhuo's face, but it passed by in a flash, he walked up to Jing Xintan in two steps,

"I'm just doing what I want to do, heart talk, you don't need to put pressure on yourself, I don't want you to give me anything back. It's fine as before, I don't care, I just want to be able to look at you and be with you. "

"I care."

Jing Xintan had some pain on his face,

"I care. Because you're right, you'll influence me, shake me. But I can't, I can't be shaken, I hate gays, I hate fair talk, and if you shake me, I'll hate you too."

Lei Zhuo stared into his eyes, his heartbeat accelerated a lot, he took two breaths, stepped over and hugged Jing Xintan, Jing Xintan struggled to push him, but Lei Zhuo hugged him tighter and tighter, he pressed his lips to the In Jing Xintan's ear,

"Then you can hate me, hate me fiercely. If so, then I will not only shake you, but also make it impossible for you to leave me again."

Jing Xintan pushed it twice and couldn't do it, so she shouted in a crying voice:

"Why are you doing this! Why me, why me..."

Lei Zhuo tightly strangled him in his arms, so hard that he trembled a little,

"Jing Xintan, I love you."