How to face the past calmly

There will always be that one person in our life, no matter how many times we say to ourselves "I must give up this time, I will never like him again!", but in the end... still reluctant.

Alphard was Voldemort's man, he was like a cigarette or drug addiction to him, he knew it was bad for his health, but he still couldn't suppress the longing like grass in his heart.

{Then do it, what is there to hesitate about? } Nagini said this to Voldemort.

Afraid of him hurting me again? Voldemort thought to himself uncertainly, but soon he overruled himself, no, the Dark Lord has nothing to fear!

When Voldemort was doing psychological construction, the little princess Nagini had already changed the topic very wittily: {Speaking of which, do you know who is that black-haired kid who is always inseparable from Al?As soon as I see him, I feel a sense of crisis. I can tolerate Al and I interspersed with you. It is already very difficult. I will never allow a fourth person between us!Of course, I promised you not to talk to a Hogwarts student, so can I eat him when he grows up? }{You mean Sirius?Believe me, if you don't want Al to kill you, you'd better keep his nephew out of the way, that's Walburga's precious son. }{It's not Sirius, of course I know who he is, he looks like Al from the side.I mean another one. }{James?He is the son of Doria. }Voldemort put on an expression of admiring Nagini's courage more and more, {Do you still remember Doria?That Doria Black who, when someone told her a bad joke, would return it with an even harsher one, had no respect for the rogue's profession at all.You once said that you would avoid her for the rest of your life. }There are always a few people that Nagini can't afford to provoke, such as the head of Doria.On the train that year, Nagini stunned Alphard, and Doria helped Alphad scare Nagini to avenge his scare.

{I also know James, except for his blue eyes and black hair, he is a perfect copy of Doria!I'm talking about the poor boy who never looks at the price of his clothes, not the style. }Nagini racked her brains to describe the appearance of the person she wanted to talk about, but Miss Snake is actually a patient with profound prosopagnosia, just like humans think that every snake looks the same, from the perspective of a snake Every human being is similar, except for the hair color.There are only a handful of people who can clearly remember the appearance of Nagini, the master Voldy, the male god Al, and the sworn enemy Doria.

{Severus Snape, the half-blood son of Irene Prince. }Voldemort finally thought of the right candidate.

{That's right, it's him, both of their mother and son have an annoying potion smell. }Although potions are a compulsory course at Hogwarts, it is really rare for Prince, mother and son, to make themselves look like potion moving bodies throughout the year, {Sirius and James can also be said to be relatives of Al , so he has a close relationship with Al, but where did this Severus come from!It's so annoying, I can always see him with Al, or is it that Al just likes to be friends with people who can't afford clothes? }{Remember when I was Al's friend who couldn't afford clothes? }Voldemort squinted his eyes and reminded that no one likes to be mentioned as down and out, especially the Dark Lord.

{Of course I remember, or who do you think I'm talking about? }Nagini gave the other party a look of why you suddenly became stupid.

{...}Voldemort revealed a fierce look.

Nagini belatedly began to make up for his slip of the tongue just now: {Of course, Voldy, you can afford any piece of clothing in the world now, and your way of choosing clothes is still the old routine of long love, Only look at the price, not the style, only buy the most expensive, not the best! }{Next time, don't follow other people's flattery. } Nagini should be glad she is a snake with terrible English.

{Anyway, my point is, can I eat Severus when he grows up?Save him and me from robbing the male god.Don't worry, I will do it very secretly, I will not even spit out the bones, and I will never let Al find out. }{...}Voldemort felt that perhaps he should be the one to be thankful that Nagini's English was terrible, and he was the only one in England who could understand Parseltongue, otherwise the Dark Lord's majesty would be lost because of his pet.

However, when he remembered that whether in his class, in the dining room, or anywhere in Hogwarts, he could always see Alphard and that Snape inseparable, the anger in Voldemort's heart was unconsciously provoked. .He suddenly realized that maybe for Alfard, being close to him who was poor was not because he was special, but because they were roommates, and Al could be kind to everyone, rich or poor, just like that Mr Snape.

So, Voldemort said to Nagini: {It's such a happy decision!You eat him, I'll cover for you. } Nagini thought to himself, hooked: {Okay, let's get back to you and Al. }{What can I say to Al?He belongs to me!It was in the past, it is now, and it will be in the future!I promise you, he will never belong to anyone else, will never leave again, and there is no way I will give him that chance again!no way! }{deal! } Nagini immediately sealed the deal with Voldemort.

Jealousy is a double-edged sword. If it is used badly, it will destroy everyone. If it is used well, it will have a miraculous effect of encouraging and motivating generals.Nagini shook the tip of his tail, thinking triumphantly in his heart, being a pet and also working part-time as Cupid, it's easy for me!There are no good pets in the UK that touch you!

After that, there was Voldemort under the mistletoe that Alphard saw on Christmas Day.

No one will refuse a kiss under the mistletoe, because to refuse a kiss is to refuse good luck.Not to mention that Alphard had hoped to reunite with the Dark Lord in the first place, and it would be foolish not to follow the trend at this time.A superficial kiss came naturally, making Alphard's heart flutter, and it also gave him and Voldemort an electric feeling at the same time, as if they had been expecting this kiss for decades.

But fate is a little bitch, whenever you think everything is going well, it will always jump out and anger your sense of existence.

Alphard crossed over again because of a kiss?This is of course impossible, the author has to be virtuous. (I always feel that something terrible has been mixed in.)

Although he didn't time travel, after Alphard gave his first kiss in his life, he quickly remembered that the person standing in front of him was not his first kiss.And how did the other party's first kiss happen, when did it happen, and with whom did it happen, quickly swept through Alphard's brain, and used a more intuitive way than watching a movie to fully experience it in the original owner's memory .

The third-year owner and the young Dark Lord had a big fight over Walburga and Lucretia.

"What on earth do you want to do? Show off your unique personal charm? Enjoy the superiority of playing with the feelings of two women at the same time in the applause? Or is it what you want if everyone is unhappy?! I have long You should understand that it was a mistake to meet you on the Hogwarts Express!" We always utter bad words to hurt others when we are angry, because we need to transfer the same hurt pain in our hearts.

"What do I want? Ha, do you really want to know what I want?" The Dark Lord's black eyes continued to darken, even with a hint of blood.

The original owner, Alphard, was still provoking recklessly: "Tell me, what would the great Mr. Tom Riddle want? Immortality? Omniscience and omnipotence?"

The young Dark Lord has always been a man of action. He used his actions to tell the young Alphard what he wanted. He quickly pressed him against the wall and kissed the other party's lips forcefully. His movements were youthful, Like a little beast that can't move at all and relies on instinct alone, nibbling the pink lips that he would have dreamed of countless times, after which he gasped and said, "Now you know? I want you!"

This kind of feeling of seeing his prospective boyfriend kissing the ex that he has been obsessed with before is not good. Even if Alphard knows in his heart that these are the two characters in his writing, he still feels conflicted in his heart, which seriously affects his desire and adulthood. Version of the Dark Lord's mood in love.

Even, at this moment, Alphard had an even more frightening and weird thought, when he and the Dark Lord got better and sublimated their relationship (he always felt that day was not far away, if he really wanted to complete the task of reunion ), would he recall the first time between the original owner and the Dark Lord while having sex with the Dark Lord? Hollyshit, just thinking about it makes me sick.

"You hate this kiss?" Voldemort's eyes started to look stormy.

"No!" Alphard immediately followed Voldemort's instinct to deny Voldemort's question, and then began to look for reasons to protect himself. He bit his lip and looked embarrassed, "It's just..."

"Just what?"

"True?" Alphard raised the corners of his eyes and looked at Voldemort.

"Of course, I thought it was an agreement between us." Voldemort crossed his chest and faced Alphard.Psychologically speaking, when we face a person with our arms around our chests, the biggest possibility is not to be arrogant and contemptuous of the other person, but to want to protect ourselves, which is one of the manifestations of insecurity.

"When you kissed me, I recalled the first kiss between the past me and the past you." Alphard replied truthfully.

"That time in third grade?" Voldemort's first kiss to him was naturally still fresh in his memory.

"Yes, remember?"

"I will never forget it." Voldemort put on a very gentle nostalgic smile, he was too impulsive at that time, because of this, Alphard and him did not speak a word for half a month.For him at that time, those days were naturally uncomfortable, but for him now, it was a beautiful youth that he could laugh out loud just thinking about it.

"……"I knew it.Although Alphard believed that he had no affection for the Dark Lord and only regarded him as a tool to complete the mission, he still didn't like the feeling of being treated as a substitute.

"Did I say something wrong?" Voldemort realized that he was the only one who thought it was a good memory.

"It's my problem," Alphard suppressed his displeasure, trying to communicate normally with the Dark Lord, "Although I know that the one in my memory is my fault, I still have a feeling that seeing you kissing your ex awkwardness."

"You..." Voldemort asked in surprise after a few seconds of confirmation, "Are you jealous?"

"No!" Alphard flatly denied.

"Oh, Al, Al, my Al." Voldemort's handsome face was already filled with surprises, and his tone was generous, "I forgive you this little lie."

Voldemort used a vivid metaphor in his heart to set off fireworks, how could his Al be so cute and jealous with his former self.Nagini was right, how could such an Al be handed over to others, but he was hurt once, wouldn't it be enough to let him never become the person who would still hurt him?He who wanted to destroy Al in the past really couldn't think about it!

"I said no!" Alphard's cheeks were slightly red, and the meaning of the idiom was obvious in embarrassment.

"OK, OK." It's probably because men are always easy to talk after being satisfied. Although Voldemort's lower body has not been truly satisfied, the pleasure of spiritual satisfaction far exceeds the meaning of being satisfied in the lower body itself.

"So, uh, what are we now?" Alphard quickly changed the subject.

The memory appeared again, this time it was no longer the time when they kissed just now in the memory, Alphard judged it from the change of clothes, the original owner Alphard also asked the young Dark Lord in embarrassment: "What kind of relationship are we now?" ?”

"Couples!" The young Dark Lord overlapped with the adult version, unswervingly giving the same answer.

In memory, the original owner's face was red from the face to the neck hidden under the collar, and the whole body was replaced by pink, but the Alphard in reality... felt a bucket of ice water poured down his head, and it was cold to the top of his heart.

#Boyfriend loves that his EX is not me, but I can't tell my boyfriend that I'm not your EX. The feeling is so much better than that#

Chapter 37 The World's No.30 Seven Times of Malice: Legend has it that Christmas Eve is a family holiday

In his sleep, Alphard felt that he was lying by the lake at Hogwarts, bathed in the sun, and the breeze was blowing on his face.Turning his head, he could see the meticulously dressed young Voldemort leaning against a tree trunk to read a thick banned book that could kill people: "Be careful to be discovered by Professor Dumbledore, you will be able to see it then."

Voldemort looked up from the book with a wanton smile and contemptuous eyes: "Of course I know, anyone with a discerning eye can tell that I did it on purpose. It's a great feeling to secretly read books in the yellow section of the library for seven years, but no one notices." Lonely."

"I know it, Nagini knows it, Laurie knows it, Lister knows it, Abramovich knows it, and even the core members of Volpes know it. How dare you say you're lonely?" Alphard gave Voldemort a supercilious look, " You are really awkward, wouldn't you just admit that you want to piss off Professor Dumbledore?"

"Since you know, why don't you just ask me? Merlin, where is Dumbledore, who is usually everywhere? I've been sitting here all afternoon!" Voldemort was extremely impatient.

This time Alphard didn't even bother to give him a blank stare: "What are you looking at?"

"A book about memory and the soul."

"Memory, what do you think if one day we don't remember each other?" Alphard looked at the blue sky and wondered.

"Why don't we remember each other?" Voldemort frowned, as a realist, he didn't like to discuss some assumptions that couldn't happen at all.

"This is a metaphor, okay? You really don't have any literary and romantic cells! I mean, if one day we will gradually drift apart in reality like all post-graduation couples, we will become strange and alienated from each other , what should I do if I am no longer as close as I am now?" As a middle school sophomore, the philosophical atmosphere like psychosis is naturally indispensable.

"I won't let this happen." Voldemort replied firmly.

"Okay, then I will choose to get to know you again. No matter how many times we have become strangers to each other, I will get to know you again N+1 times and fall in love with you." Alphard sat up and looked at Voldemort seriously.

"You..." The young Voldemort was stunned.

"Why, are you moved? This is the most beautiful love story I just thought of~" Alphard's eyes were sly, and there was a bright smile on the corner of his mouth.

"...Could you not be so boring." Voldemort sighed.

"It's not as boring as you sitting under a tree waiting for Professor Dumbledore!" Alphard immediately retorted, "Don't you think that you are in the seventh grade now, and you are the chairman of the Men's Society. Professor Slughorn likes you so much, you Do you want to read books in the yellow zone without getting approval from the professor? Don't be kidding, Professor Dumbledore won't talk to you."

"..."

"Don't tell me you didn't think of this." Alphard opened his eyes wide and looked at Voldemort in disbelief, it didn't seem like he would make a mistake.

"I sneaked into the yellow zone to get the book..." Voldemort's expression was embarrassing.

Alphard continued after Voldemort's words: "But you didn't expect Professor Dumbledore to think about the fact that you got the book through reasonable and legal means, eh?"

"Listen, if you dare to speak out about this matter, I will, I will..."

"Just, what about you?" Alphard blinked playfully, waiting for Voldemort's next words.

"I just made it so you can't get out of bed for three days. If you don't believe me, we can try." Voldemort smiled expectantly.

This time it was Alphard's turn to be furious.

The end of the dream ended with another deep kiss on the lawn, with the fragrance of summer soil, Alphard woke up from the dream, and touched his face unconsciously, he always felt the burning hotness there Couldn't fade away.

Today is December 12th, Christmas Eve. Alphard has returned to Black Manor from Hogwarts winter vacation with Sirius and James. Everyone is surprised at the speed at which Alphard has grown by three years in half a school year. Alpha All De's attention was taken away by that kiss from Voldemort before leaving school.

Alfard had already seen the matter of the original owner. After all, the original owner was a character in his writing, and his personality had many similarities with him. It could even be said that he was a true biography of him who was in the second stage of middle school. What's so awkward about him? What about?

There is no pressure to treat the original owner as himself, so why should he bother?

But probably human beings are creatures that love to deceive themselves. Alphard thought well in his heart, but every night he began to dream of the original owner kissing Voldemort in various situations and in various ways.But this is not the worst. The worst thing is that Alphard found that he was no longer in the third-party position like watching a movie in those scenes. He began to feel that he was Alphard, and those memories made him empathize so much.

Alphard finally became a little panicked, because he felt that the reason why he dreamed that he became the original owner was because he had told himself countless times in his heart to treat the original owner as himself, and stop being pressured to associate with Voldemort.

That thought made him abnormal.

He is him, just him, from beginning to end, and no one else!Alphard said this to himself in the mirror while washing.It's unlucky enough to go through a book, but being forced to reunite with the Dark Lord is even more unfortunate. If he loses himself in the game in the end, it will be too miserable.

Therefore, Alphard decided to distinguish himself from the original owner in the past in his life.

Like when his father, Mr. Borroux, asked him at the breakfast table: "Why are you suddenly not eating bread and bacon and eating churros instead?"

Alphard will reply with a calm face: "Because I suddenly don't like bread and bacon." And Spanish churros are the closest food I can find to the early morning.

"Oh, I remember, you were like this for a while, and suddenly you didn't like to eat the old food, and you insisted on changing the taste, and insisted on eating dumplings every day." Mr. Borcus seemed to think of something. All of a sudden, he became a little less smiling, "But that was more than [-] years ago, after you disappeared for ten years and suddenly came back. Have you recalled the memory of that time?"

"No, no, I just changed the taste suddenly, the bacon is too greasy." Alphard was taken aback, why the more he tried to distinguish it from the past, the more he couldn't distinguish it? !

Mr. Borrox looked at the fried Spanish churros speechlessly: "Too greasy?"

"Hey, don't worry about me!" Children are a bit nice in front of their parents. When they can't find a reason, they can act shamelessly without being afraid of offending their parents.

When Borroux heard what Alphard said, he smiled and didn't say anything. Instead, he said with nostalgia: "You haven't acted like a baby like this for many years."

"you……"

"You are acting like a baby, and your whole family is acting like a baby?" Mr. Borlux, who knew what his son would say, spoke first, and then said to his son earnestly, "Honey, although I know you will be angry if I say that, But I still want you to know that you are part of my family too."

When Walburga brought her husband and two sons to the manor to spend Christmas Eve, she saw Alphard going up the stairs vigorously, and the sound of heavy footsteps made the stairs thump.

While unbuttoning his red cashmere coat, Walburga helplessly asked Mr. Borroux, who was reading the newspaper: "Are you kidding him again?"

Mr. Borroux returned his elder daughter's old urchin-like smile: "You can't deny that teasing Al is a very interesting thing, and as a poor old man who lost his wife, I only have this fun, you have the heart to deprive him of it." Is it?"

"Be careful to make Al anxious." Walburga handed the coat to the house elf beside him.

When Walburga said this, he heard a loud slamming sound from the second floor, like everyone would do to express their dissatisfaction by slamming the door.

"Alphad Black!" Walburga's energetic voice passed from the first floor to the second floor, "Pay attention to your words and deeds!"

"Oh, Mom!" Alphard's voice was drawn back from upstairs.

After that, the whole family fell into a dead silence.Because the person who used to do what Walburga is doing now is their mother, Mrs. Irma. Whenever Mr. Borrox made Alphard angry and slammed the door, Mrs. Irma would always reprimand Mr. Borroux said solemnly, asking his son to pay attention to his words and deeds, and then got a helpless "mother" from Alphad.

"Al already knew the news of his mother's death, right?" Mr. Borroux said in a low tone.

Walburga nodded: "We should have expected this kind of thing a long time ago. We can't hide it at all. There are so many pure-blooded children in Slytherin, and they all came to their mother's funeral."

"I know, I just, just hope that the sooner he knows, the better." Borrox covered his eyes.

"I miss her so much." Walburga lowered his eyelids with a sad expression, "I always feel that she hasn't left yet."

The topic suddenly became serious. Sirius and Regulus, who wanted to go upstairs to see Alphard, immediately changed their direction, ran over quickly, one hugged his mother's waist, and the other threw himself into the arms of his grandfather. Want to give strength to their family, but also want to liven up the atmosphere.

Mr. Borroux was able to put on a smile again: "Teasing Al always makes me feel young, and I have a son who is not in trouble."

"Papa (the nickname for grandpa or grandpa), of course you are still young, and my brother is very insane." Regulus said solemnly, reminding his grandfather how can you forget my worrying brother, he is also It's so full of energy that it's hard to keep quiet.

"Regulus!" Sirius quit immediately.

"If your name wasn't Papa, I think I'd look younger." Mr. Borroux pinched the cheek of his little grandson.

When Sirius chased Regulus around the house, Alphard came downstairs again and made up with Mr. Borroux.

And when Alphard's younger brother, Signus, brought his wife and three daughters to the manor, he saw his family laughing in the living room for unknown reasons, like a group of psychopaths It seems lively and cheerful.The smiles on everyone's faces seem to be contagious, making people feel refreshed involuntarily.

"It would have been great if Papa's house had been like this before." Signus' second daughter Andromeda said.