back to innocence

When they left the hotel, both Mo Yao and Fei Yizhen drank a little bit of wine, although it was just champagne with low alcohol content, but maybe because the atmosphere of the wedding was so intoxicating, both of them were a little bit drunk illusion.

Mo Yao couldn't help sighing, "The wedding is so beautiful."

Fei Yizhen sneered: "Are you envious?"

Mo Yao replied firmly: "I'm not envious. I will have my own wedding sooner or later."

Fei Yizhen asked, "Oh? With whom?"

"It's definitely not with you."

"That's really grateful."

Mo Yao was extremely helpless: "You will die if you don't have a poisonous tongue!?"

Fei Yizhen spread his hands and said: "I won't die, but I will be lonely and empty."

Mo Yao glanced at him and was silent for a while, then hesitantly called out: "Yizhen..."

Fei Yizhen looked up at her: "Huh?"

Mo Yao asked: "Who will you be with in the future?"

Fei Yizhen stretched out his hand to touch her forehead, but was thrown off by Mo Yao, and said angrily: "What? I'm talking to you seriously, and you're calling me again! You want to say that I have a fever, right?"

Fei Yizhen said: "Who told you to say some strange things again - who will know the future? I don't even know what I will have for breakfast tomorrow morning! Even if I say now what kind of person I will be with in the future Together, who knows what changes will happen after today?"

Mo Yao asked: "Do you regret it?"

Fei Yizhen was stunned: "!?"

Mo Yao didn't mean to wait for his answer, but continued as if talking to herself: "Yizhen, I suddenly regret it now."

Fei Yizhen asked: "What do you regret?"

Mo Yao murmured softly as if she was talking to herself: "Why didn't I have a puppy love when I was 14? Why didn't I rush to confess to the prettiest boy in school when I was 16? Why didn't I have no hesitation when I was [-]?" How about taking your wallet and taking the train to Beijing to take the Beijing Film Academy exam?"

Fei Yizhen complained: "I thought I was the prettiest boy in school when you were 16."

Mo Yao scolded: "Shameless!"

Fei Yizhen shrugged: "I'm just stating the facts."

Mo Yao sighed: "I'm just sorry."

Fei Yi really thought about it, and said to Mo Yao seriously: "If you had taken the train to Beiying then, we wouldn't be standing here together now."

Mo Yao defended: "But maybe I have another way of living."

Fei Yizhen put his hands in his pockets and asked her: "Now, if you have a chance to start over, when do you want to start over? How do you change your way of life? What kind of life?" Fa, will make you feel no regrets?"

Mo Yao thought for a long time, and then said: "If I can do it all over again, I want to live a life of freedom."

She turned a circle, let the skirt of the little dress swing a beautiful arc on her knees, and then said: "About five or six years ago, when the story of time travel and rebirth just became popular, many people liked to write like this." I sent the story to the publishing house. I watched it at the time, and thought it was really wonderful and whimsical—to make up my whole life again, all the regrets in the past can be made up, and all the unwillingness and pain can be relieved... Later I saw After a long time, I gradually realized... You see, most of the people who write these stories are losers. Even in writing stories, they are also losers. A wonderful life is never a result of haggling, and a wonderful story is also a failure. It’s not enough to have a big golden finger to write well. First of all, you must have a heart that wants to live a wonderful life..."

"Yizhen, if I go back to 17 or [-] years old, I will go to puppy love to make my parents a headache. If I go back to [-] years old, I will dress up like a little witch and attract everyone's attention. I want to learn to sing and dance , so I don’t want to study business management. I want to do what I want to do, I will learn to be more brave, even if I go against the so-called reality, hit my head and break my blood, be as poor as Van Gogh——I will never give up .”

Fei Yi really listened, and showed a slight smile: "Are you living recklessly..."

"Yeah. Live my life but not just make aliving. (Living and not just making living.)"

Fei Yizhen asked: "Even if in the end you can't even make aliving (can't make money necessary for survival)?"

Mo Yao said: "Ah, of course, on the premise of not starving myself to death." She added something embarrassingly, then raised her head and asked Fei Yizhen, "What about you, Yizhen? If you could live again, what would you like to do? ?”

If you can live again?

Fei Yizhen thought about it for a while, and was about to state his thoughts, but Mo Yao suddenly stopped him and said, "Don't talk about it, come with me!"

Mo Yao took his hand, ran all the way to the parking lot, and then drove to a place.

Fei Yizhen found out that she had brought him back to the publishing house.

The publishing house is closed for an afternoon today because the big boss is getting married.At this time, the entire building was silent, except for a few people on duty, there was no one else.

Mo Yao dragged him to her office, then turned on the computer, opened the document, and started to make an inexplicable questionnaire.

"Rebirth Questionnaire" Rebirth Travel Division: Ms. Mo Yao

1. If you could start your life over again, how old would you most want to go back?

……

2. What is the thing you regret the most?When did it happen?

……

Fifteen questions were listed one by one, and then Mo Yao printed out this form with the company's copperplate paper used as a promotional coloring page, and handed it to Fei Yizhen: "Now this form is sent to you by the Department of Rebirth. Fei Yizhen, fill in your wish, and then send it to the secret liaison of the Department of Transcending Rebirth—Ms. Mo Yao, editor-in-charge of the great writer Fei Yizhen, and your wish will be [-]% One of those opportunities is realized.”

Fei Yizhen was speechless for a moment, and finally put away the form obediently, and decided to treat it as a family drink with Mo Yao.

When he got home, he stared blankly at the form, thinking about what he regretted the most, or what he wanted to change the most.

He thought about it carefully, and unlike Mo Yao, if he went back to his youth, he would not want to fight for his ideals at all-in fact, he had already seen the Yellow River and hit the south wall for what he wanted to do , what he finally found now is the intersection of reality and ideal, and he is very satisfied.

What is he trying to do?

He thought that if he went back to the year when he was just in college, he should show two more smiling faces to Qi Wentang.

He was so afraid of being found out about his sexuality at that time, and he was determined to hide this secret all his life and spend it alone until he died.Fei Yizhen has always been brave when it comes to ideals, but always cowardly when it comes to feelings.A real straight guy can play jokes with the rotten girls in his class indifferently, but he always looks impatient with such jokes, and then trembles in fear.

He has grown up well since he was a child, so there are countless girls who have shown affection to him, so many that he can't even remember the names and faces of a few people.Because of this kind of thing, Mo Yao, who had been friends with him since high school, was even isolated by the girls, and she couldn't get a boyfriend in college. The reason was naturally because she was standing beside Fei Yizhen, who was too difficult to match.

In this way, he was even favored by men.

When Fei Yi was studying, it was easy to give people the illusion that he was always repelling people thousands of miles away.He will smile at everyone, but when he wants to get closer, it is difficult to take a step beyond the thunder pool.In fact, it was Fei Yizhen's way of protecting himself.

He doesn't get close to girls because he is afraid of misunderstanding her.And he doesn't get close to boys because he is afraid that the secret he has tried so hard to hide will be discovered by others.

He felt that if he could live like this for the rest of his life, he would not cause harm to anyone.

Qi Wentang has a crush on him, and Fei Yizhen knows this all too well.But Fei Yizhen never thought about developing anything with him from the very beginning, it would be too cruel for the families of both parties——Qi Wentang and Fei Yizhen are both the only child of Wanguan's family.

What's more, Qi Wentang is bisexual, so he was able to accept girls.

However, Fei Yi really made 1 preparations, but he couldn't prepare for his own feelings.He felt that his chest was constricted to death, and he wished to destroy this cowardly self humanely.

Unexpectedly, he turned on his new mobile phone and posted a Weibo: "I attended the wedding of the only person I have ever loved in this life. My heart is heavy like the end of the world, and I have to force a smile. He will never know that I have loved Him."

As soon as the Weibo was sent out, it was responded enthusiastically.This is not surprising, with Fei Yizhen's current reputation, it would be strange if no one responded, he was originally asking for comfort.

Immediately, someone responded: "You don't know idols, do you? I haven't heard of this. Who is it!? Who is so blind that he doesn't want idols and others!?"

"Touch Chonghua (Fei Yi's real pen name) sauce, don't be sad. There are many people who like Chonghua sauce, don't be sad because you don't like you."

Messages popped up one after another, often a dozen or so at a time, and the page was turned in a blink of an eye.Then I don’t know which floor it was, and suddenly a sensitive viewer said: "Am I the only one who pays attention to the word 'he'? Chonghua shouldn't be able to distinguish between him and her, right?"

Fei Yi's heart skipped a beat, he felt that he was really stimulated too much, and his behavior and handling were out of standard.

The forwarding and commenting continued, far faster than Fei Yizhen's reading.He hastily deleted the Weibo that he had sent out before, but it was too late.

"Is anyone getting married today?"

"I don't know about the others, but the boss of Shuangye Publishing House is getting married today, right? He has occupied two floors of a big hotel, and the whole publishing house has gone drinking."

"Who is the boss of Futaba Publishing House? Male or female?"

……

As the topic got further and further away, Fei Yizhen decisively called Mo Yao for help.

The moment the connection was made, Mo Yao said: "I know why you called, I was reposting Weibo. It's really big news, I knew you would regret it, Fei Yi is so hard-hearted, Have you finally tasted the consequences!?"

Fei Yizhen said: "Stop messing around! You can't let the seniors see this thing, so hurry up and find a way to help me deal with it."

Mo Yao didn't take it seriously: "Forget it, you think you are really a fairy beauty, he is already married, why would you..."

Fei Yizhen said: "You don't know—in short, he can't let him see these things, otherwise something will happen. I know!"

Mo Yao paused for a while, and then said quietly, "You know... If this is the case, Fei Yizhen must be too cruel."

Fei Yizhen said: "Yaoyao..."

Mo Yao said: "Okay, I will find a way to help you solve it. Remember that you owe me once."

Fei Yizhen responded softly: "Yes!"

Sure enough, Mo Yao quickly settled the matter.She used Fei Yizhen's Weibo to post a message: "Who used my Weibo to send some messy messages to ruin my reputation [angry][angry][angry]!?"

Then he used his own Weibo to speak: "An explanation is a cover-up! Don't struggle!"

If a person plays two roles and quarrels, the division is both deep and connotative, and from time to time some details of the two people's private relationship are exposed, creating the illusion that the first Weibo post is Mo Yao's false name. diverted everyone's attention.

Fei Yizhen watched the development of the matter, and just breathed a sigh of relief when he received a call.What was displayed on the landline was the phone number of his family, Fei Yi wondered why his parents would call him at this time, and then picked up the phone.

As a result, as soon as he picked up the phone, he heard his father's serious voice, asking over there: "Yizhen, are those words on the Internet true?"

Fei Yizhen was shocked and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"It's about you and the Qi family boy...the, um, gay thing?"

Fei Yizhen immediately denied it: "No! This is Yaoyao's nonsense, there is no such thing at all. Don't believe those nonsense on the Internet, okay?"

"Don't fool me!" Fei's father's angry voice came from the other end, "I've been following your Weibo for more than a year, why can't you tell the tone of your own words!? Are you really and that kid from the Qi family..."

Fei Yi shook his head sincerely, obviously he didn't expect his father to be so trendy, then he thought about it, and realized that it was his father's silent concern for him, his eyes turned sore, and he hurriedly said: "Dad, that's just a joke! "He stabilized his heartbeat before he said, "The relationship between me and the senior is the relationship between the boss and the employees. There is really no such thing."

Father Fei asked, "Then do you have a girlfriend now?"

Fei Yizhen said: "No, this kind of thing can't be rushed. If Dad, you are in a hurry to hug your grandson..."

"You just go to find a surrogate and spend money to have one, right?" Fei's father said suddenly, which shocked Fei Yi, "I was surprised before that you changed the way to show us the surrogate news, and you just said I am afraid that the girls who have not called now are not calling at all with women. I know your temperament. If you have a problem with your own sexual orientation, you will not kill other girls. Thinking about it now, you Children don't like girls since they were young, and the girls who chase after them all come to the house, and you can educate them back with a cold face. I always thought you were close to Yaoyao, but I haven't seen you for almost ten years Men and women haven't fallen in love yet—when did you find out that you don't like women?"

Fei Yizhen's forehead was dripping with sweat, and he tried to struggle to his death, saying, "Dad, I'm not—"

But I heard the voice of grabbing the phone from the phone, and then Fei's mother's voice sounded inside: "Really, really! Don't worry, don't be afraid, your dad can't talk. We mean, even if you like Men, you can also come back and discuss it with your parents. Now that the society is so open, my mother has also read some things about this on the Internet. If you naturally like boys, it’s because your mother didn’t give birth to you well, it’s not your fault That is, the matter of the Qi family boy..."

Then I heard Father Fei snatch the phone back again, and said, "Tell me honestly, do you really like that kid from the Qi family!? Why did he get married!? Does he know about this? He is... Do not accept you?"

Fei Yizhen's eyes were blurred with tears, and he shouted, "Dad! Mom!"

Father Fei said, "You used to have such a good relationship, did he treat you—"

Fei Yizhen said: "No, Dad. We really don't have that kind of relationship, I don't want to be gay. I know it's weird to say that, because I'm obviously... gay. But I can't hurt someone, he is able to like women."

Father Fei said, "You mean...he also likes you?"

Fei Yizhen let out a soft "hmm".

Father Fei was furious: "Why are you so stupid, kid!?"

Fei Yizhen said: "He is already married. Dad, let's not talk about this. I will drive home to find you later."