Fake to destroy the world
Chapter 055 Gintama
Alien Fatty obviously attaches great importance to Igniz's orders. After learning that a group of barbarian gangsters who want to block cars with their arms are approaching Igniz's holiday villa, he immediately sent the group of long-haired people under him to experience cannon fodder. The crooked melon with cracked face was sent out by heaven and man.
Because Igniz ordered that heavy weapons not be allowed to disturb his enjoyment of the idyllic scenery, even the alien fat man who hated the barbarian warriors and wanted to smash them to ashes could only let the crooked melons fall apart. They went to 'suppress bandits' with silent laser guns, and had to give up the tempting idea of bombarding them with shells.
Even though it is not clear why the bombardment from five miles away would affect the teenagers in the villa from enjoying the pastoral scenery, the fat alien dare not take the risk of his fat but not greasy head. affect teenagers.
Although they are collectively called celestial beings by humans on earth, the aliens who are also called celestial beings do not really come from one country.
As close as the Martians in the solar system who are eyeing the earth, as far as the Reinhardt aliens who come across the universe through distorted wormholes, all kinds of aliens have come to the earth for various reasons. The shogunate who are in awe of alien technology are collectively called "heaven and man".
And these alien friends who come from all over the universe and are obviously not very friendly to the earth people, naturally cannot be a harmonious and friendly iron plate, and there are also ranks and power divisions between each other.
The most powerful celestial beings behind the scenes are called the Heavenly Daoists. They directly manipulate the puppet government shogunate who have surrendered to the celestial beings behind the scenes. It is just a low-level clown who can only bully and bully earthlings by virtue of his so-called status as a celestial being.
Alien Fatty can probably be regarded as the middle level among the heavenly beings. Although he has not reached the point of pointing out the world and denouncing Fang Qiu, he will not be reduced to bullying the earthlings to find a sense of existence as cannon fodder for giving experience.He who runs dance halls and entertainment venues on the earth is just a model of rampant arrogance at high-level celestial beings wagging his tail at retail celestial beings.
As a member of the Twelve Heavenly Dao, Ignis, who can cut the largest piece of cake on earth just by his status, is naturally the object that the fat alien needs to flatter and curry favor with all his might.
In fact, when introducing himself to the warriors who fought against the barbarians, Igniz did not have a single false lie.Eliminate the exaggerated elements of the second class, and what is left is the real truth.
The alien boy named Igniz Alphagero, the ruling prince from the Alphagero Nebula, and one of the twelve members of the shogunate manipulator... These contents are frankly told by the boy's mouth , both of which are terrifying identities that can cause an uproar if any one is released.
As for Igniz’s persistent denial of his celestial identity, the reason can be seen by comparing his cool, handsome, domineering identity with that of an alien fat man—so noble and glamorous Such a young boy, how could he be willing to be called a heavenly man together with that kind of low-end fat man who is poor and short!
Although they are all aliens, Wo is chosen by fate, more noble than anyone else and destined to become the great king of Kami in the new world!
↑ Needless to say, I can guess that this is basically the rhythm...
But it is a pity that none of the warriors who were frankly told by Igniz took this important information to heart.
As for the reason?Maybe such a cool title like Tiandaozhong is too far away for the current barbarian warriors, and they don’t know it at all for the current barbarian warriors who have not yet reached the stage of fighting the big boss behind the scenes; or it may be because of Yige Nitz's exaggerated introduction and tone prevented them from seriously analyzing the content of the boy's words, and missed the opportunity to get this important clue...
↑Hey, the thinking of the barbarian warriors is the thinking of normal people, okay!Who would have thought that a strange creature like Tiandaozhong, who sounds like a big boss at first sight, would rush to declare itself before the cannon fodder mobs came out to give experience!
No matter what the reason is, it is an established fact that the warriors who fought against the barbarians have not been able to figure out the true identity of the young man, and they have received the "task" from the other party to crusade against heaven and man inexplicably.Under Igniz's realistic acting skills that he even believed in (are you sure you didn't show your true nature?), the warriors resolutely took their weapons and walked to the legendary human village that was bullied by heaven and man.
Then... Are you so fucking sure that this is a human village and not a ghost village?
Judging from the size of the area, it was indeed a large village where many humans lived.Judging from the dilapidated earthen walls and many wooden doors that were forcibly knocked open, it is true that this village was once brutally invaded...
But the problem is, judging from the traces of decayed wood and weathered walls, this village has been uninhabited for at least 20 years! ! !
You fucking called us to drive out the gods and humans in a village that has not been lived in for more than 20 years, do you think it is fun to tease us!
Just when the warriors felt the humiliation of being molested by the young man, and were about to go back and settle accounts with that bad boy, a squeaky and strange voice resembling a reptile sounded from the other side of the village——
"Ah, it's the barbarian warriors! Tear them all up and down, Lord Benzbern will reward you!"
Sakata Gintoki and his friends turned their heads towards the source of the sound, and after seeing those dark green-skinned celestial beings who took revenge on the society, they couldn't help bowing to the professionalism of these celestial robbers. shed a tear.
In such a dilapidated village, it is estimated that a mouse would have to walk away with tears in his eyes.You don't even let this go and come to grab it, brother, how miserable are you guys!
Although Yinshi and his little friends were deeply moved by the professionalism of the celestial "robbers", the celestial thugs who received the order from the alien fat man did not have the slightest idea of preparing to rob the village. Seeing a cat... oh no, the tiger ran up like a rabbit, ready to hit the barbarian warriors with the laser gun in his hand.
↑Wait, why the butt? !With a laser gun in hand and running up to play hand-to-hand combat with a gun stock and a samurai sword, does this setting really matter?
As competent and dedicated cannon fodder for delivering experience, the dark green-skinned reptiles gave full play to their professional ethics of not being afraid of hardship or tiredness, no matter whether you want it or not, I just want to jump over the tower to forcefully send people's heads, and rushed up with laser guns waving the handles , and then hacked to death by the barbarian warriors...
"There are really stupid gods and humans appearing...Suddenly, I feel that this world has become unreal."
Sakata Gintoki held the long knife in his hand that was stained with the dark green blood of the celestial beings in a daze, recovered from the tense and chilling state, and faced the corpses of the celestial beings lying on the ground without breathing in front of him. I fell into deep contemplation.
Why are there bandits of heaven and man in such a village that seems impossible to live in?Why do these celestial robbers who are so desolate that they even want to rob uninhabited villages recognize them as warriors against barbarians at a glance?Why do these days people rush up screaming and screaming as if they had taken a stimulant after seeing the warriors against the barbarians?
Most importantly, why did that boy know that the heavenly beings were coming here to rob? !
Just when Sakata Gintoki began to think about life, the future and the world, his little friends were already laughing and patting each other's shoulders, ready to pack up the spoils and hand in the task... Sakata Gintoki looked at this group of people caught in the RPG simulation The friends who couldn't help themselves in the game almost grabbed the ground with their heads. What kind of sorcery did the boy fall to the ground, and turned all his fresh and upright friends into such an out-of-spirited appearance!
↑So when exactly did you have the illusion that your little friends still have integrity!
Sakata Gintoki, who feels that everyone is drunk and I am alone, tries to wake up the friends who are addicted to RPG with a cry from the heart.But it's a pity that the little friends who simply thought this guy was thinking too much continued to playfully discuss how to seduce the boy to go to the hot spring together after returning home, completely ignoring Sakata Gintoki who was full of worries.
Seeing that his little friends who were also warriors against barbarians were corrupted into such a state in just one day, Yinshi also felt a sense of sadness that he could not integrate into the group while his heart was cold.Even though he was known as the White Yaksha before, he was always a killing machine that was feared by both the enemy and us on the battlefield, but in his spare time, he also has like-minded friends who can discuss the way of serving the country together...
But now he suddenly discovered that those little friends who vowed to wipe out the heavens and humans with him have degenerated into decadent uncles who want to drink wine and soak in hot springs, and they no longer have the high spirits to throw their heads and blood with him. His fighting spirit... Could it be that he, who has become out of gregarious, is doomed to be alone all his life?
No!Do you want to be a coward for life, or a hero?Even if it is only for a few minutes, you must become a hero admired by everyone!And to be a hero requires more than courage!The cry from the heart is only to wake up a few people! !
So when Sakata Gintoki kept shouting from his heart, the samurai warriors who were at the crossroads were enraged by the silver-haired chanting, and immediately took out the cross-time-space sex prop ♂ from the different-dimensional pocket The ball was stuffed into the mouth of Yintoki who was still screaming and trying to wake up his friends.
"There is no way to race, just shut up and enjoy life!"
After being treated so roughly by his friends, Yinshi, who was physically and mentally exhausted, said that he would never love again.The past of discussing how to expel heaven and man to save the country together under the setting sun is exactly our lost youth and irretrievable love...
Although Gintoki Sakata was full of doubts and wanted to confide in his friends, but the friends had been so bewitched by Igniz that they couldn't turn back.Therefore, Sakata Gintoki, who can no longer save his little friends by his own power alone, decided that now is the time to accumulate strength and leave the seeds of revolution to wait for the future to ignite a prairie fire!
↑In other words, when I felt deeply that I could not rape Yinshi who had fled from ♂ from fate, I was ready to give up my morals and start enjoying the corrupt life after returning to the villa...
Pretending to be like a proletarian revolutionary, isn't your bourgeois unscrupulous face exposed every minute! Soul Dan!
After exterminating the heaven and man from the uninhabited village, the team of the barbarian warriors returned to the resort of Igniz.It is still the high-end and elegant gate of the villa, and there is still a low-key, luxurious and connotative flour-spreading mechanism on the threshold of the gate, but the only difference from before is that this time waiting for them behind the gate is no longer a boy and a girl. A Tubo, but a combination of the boy and A Jinbo.
↑Although with the eyes of the barbarian warriors, you can't tell the difference between A Tu Bo and A Jin Bo...
"Everyone, you have worked hard." Igniz cleared his throat, and decisively said to the warriors with a calm voice that matched the owner of the villa, "The heavenly beings who invaded the village were successfully expelled. Thank you for your help, and said that in the future, I will actively inform and let the heavenly beings come and wipe out one group at a time... In short, congratulations on completing the mission, this is your mission reward."
After the boy snapped his fingers, Ajinbo stepped forward holding a box of shining gold coins and more than 20 unknown necklaces, and handed over the strange mission rewards in his hands to the warriors fighting against barbarians.
Under the suspicious eyes of Yinshi and his friends, Igniz explained calmly and calmly: "Don't look at these necklaces as if they are just ordinary necklaces. Blessing! As long as you wear the necklace in the jewelry column, you can increase your agility by 30 points and your attack power by [-] points, and you will have a [-]% chance to dodge when attacked by the enemy!"
Yin Shi, who was stuffed with sensual gags in his mouth, wanted to complain but couldn't: ...Although it sounds very powerful, but can you teach us where to look in the jewelry column!
After the warriors who fought against the barbarians happily accepted the task rewards and expressed their firm determination to complete the organizational tasks and love the country, love the people and love the party for 100 years, Igniz waved his hand with satisfaction and said: "Very good, your ideological consciousness is very good. It's very high, so today's brainwashing activity is over here. Everyone, go take a bath, pick up some soap and relax, and then get ready to eat and rest."
Yin Shi, who still hasn't taken out the sensual mouth ball, can only whine: ... Fuck you just said brainwashing!You said brainwashing, you definitely did!Sure enough, you used black magic on my little friends!
After issuing the instruction that the meeting could be dismissed, Igniz was the first to go back to the room, change his clothes and go to the hot spring.Just like what he said when I introduced him, this resort was really created by him for soaking in hot springs, so every day he would go to the VIP single bath to enjoy the original beauty.
When passing by Sakata Gintoki, Igniz couldn't help but stop and gave the silver fur a strange look, and after a rare moment of hesitation, he pointed to his mouth and said, "What are you doing with this thing?" ? Do you want COS Ping♂家♂boy?”
After hearing the boy's question, Sakata Gintoki couldn't help turning his angry eyes to his friends, glaring at them without saying a word, and there was only one core idea—all of them The bastard forced it on me!
"Well, I didn't ask you who put it on for you. I wanted to ask, why didn't you take him off?" Igniz swayed around the other party's hands and feet that were completely free of movement with a strange look. Then he sighed with a clap of fists, "So you're a masochist who likes to be masochistic... No need to explain, I understand."
The young man with a delicate expression of "I understand you" drifted away in front of the dull and weathered Gintoki, leaving only a hypocritical upright who was facing the gate of the new world and fell into deep thought with a ball in his mouth. juvenile.
What is shaking M?Do you like masochistic people?So why do Shaking M and they like to be masochistic?Can masochism bring pleasure to shaking M?But I don't feel pleasure when I'm abused, so why does he say I'm shaking M?
The troubles of the boy Yinshi continued until his unscrupulous little friends were freed, and they all let go of their feet and were about to rush to the bathing place to soak in the hot spring.For Yinshi, who has decided to give up thinking and enjoy life with the crowd, shaking M or something is not important anymore.
Because there will be wrestling activities in the bath when I soak in the hot spring today!He also wants to participate in wrestling and then trample those stupid little friends under his feet, laughing proudly!
↑To sum up, this guy is a Shaking S who has not yet awakened, and definitely not a Shaking M who likes to be abused. The identification is completed.
After the trip to the bathhouse, which had almost become a daily task, Igniz set up a sumptuous dinner made by Ah Huobo in the dining room, smiling at a table of dishes that could feed about fifty or sixty people Said calmly: "Sa, please don't be polite, just open your stomach and eat as much as you want~ I like bold and upright people, especially those who like delicious food and have the same interests as me... So, if you don't want to anger me For minced meat, it’s best to finish dinner with a happy face, understand?”
The barbarian warriors looked at the huge amount of dishes on the long table that seemed to burst their stomachs, and then looked at the murderous young man with a gentle smile. They always felt as if they had accidentally stepped into some terrible banquet...
So under the efforts of the warriors who were fighting against barbarians with the determination to die, the food piled up on the long table began to decrease slowly. When everyone was clutching their round stomachs that looked like watermelons and howling that they could not eat any more, The scary-looking food on the long table was reduced to soup leftovers.
Looking at the barbarian warriors who were sitting on chairs thinking they couldn’t eat any more, the thoughtful young man on the chief seat escaped from his clothes pocket with a small black book, and opened the book that read "Human Breeding Records". After reading a suspicious notebook with a name, he turned to a page titled "Feed Selection", and put a bright red tick behind the line "Is it possible to use large doses of feed to quickly fatten up".
New pose get√
After the dinner, which was actually a fattening plan, the warriors who walked out supported each other while leaning on the wall looked at each other's stomachs that had been pregnant for seven or eight months, and all sincerely sighed: We can still survive , This is really a very touching miracle!
After a night's rest, the warriors who had recharged their batteries and regained their energy received a new assignment from the teenager.
"I heard that ten miles southwest of the villa, there was a gang of celestial beings running around committing crimes continuously, brutally killing more than 50 innocent civilians on earth, and having an extremely bad impact on the social order of the earth! I hereby grant you the right to investigate For this task, I hope that you can do your best to help the civilians who died innocently!"
Well, it was still five miles away yesterday, and today it is ten miles away... The barbarian warriors who started to run errands again could not help silently wondering in their hearts, if this continues, when will the mission destination change? Twenty-five thousand miles away? !
After the barbarian warriors left the field of vision, Igniz contacted the fat alien from yesterday again in the same manner. As soon as the contact influence appeared, he sternly reprimanded him: "Incompetent waste, what are your subordinates?" You are useless and useless! You can’t even deal with a small group of barbarian warriors, what use are you for!”
Fatty Alien has lost contact with his subordinate since yesterday, and has been anxiously waiting for his reply.But what he didn't expect was that before the reply letter came, the boy's accountability was waiting to come.
So really shocked, the alien fat man whose purple fat face was frightened into white hastily apologized to Igniz, and said that this time he will definitely complete the mission and send the most capable men to wipe out the enemy in one fell swoop Only then did I hear the young man's cold snort.
"Hmph, although you are really hateful, but since the barbarian warriors failed to substantially harass the king yesterday, the king will be magnanimous and let you go." Igniz played with his hands. With a black long knife, he said casually, "The barbarian warriors are also idiots who can't tell the direction. They were five miles away from the northwest yesterday, but today they are ten miles away from the southwest..."
After the alien fat man who was so frightened that his forehead was dripping with cold sweat hurriedly flattered him, saying that it was the King of Nyx who was wise and mighty for generations to come. After hearing the words of the alien fat man, he said bluntly: "If you can't solve this group of fleas today, you can hold your head and come to see me tomorrow."
The alien fat man, who was frightened into a cold sweat, had no doubts that if he couldn't deal with the barbarian warriors today, he wouldn't be able to survive on the earth tomorrow even if his head was still on his head!
So the alien fat man immediately patted Igniz on the chest, saying that he would definitely take down all the barbarian warriors by going out personally, and would never let this group of flirting disturb the king of Nitz to enjoy the idyllic scenery. Only then nodded in satisfaction, and said, "Very well, after the fleas are expelled from this king's territory, this king will reward you greatly, Mr. Grosso Einzbern."
Alien Fatty: ...My lord, actually my name is Jaroso Bainzbern!
No matter what, after the cannon fodder mobs that gave experience were successfully wiped out, the little boss also brought a large wave of experience... oh no, it led a large wave of elite mobs.Inexplicably involved in the boy RPG simulation game, can Sakata Gintoki and his friends successfully escape from the alien fat man?
The answer is of course yes~
As a male protagonist chosen by the world's consciousness, even if it is a male protagonist like Gintama who has completely lost his morals and is full of the world, Yinshi is not comparable to a small boss who has a lot of experience and sent him over the tower!
Although the enemies encountered this time are completely different from those heavenly beings yesterday.However, having a larger number of cannon fodder and knowing the correct posture to use the laser gun cannot be the reason for the alien fat man to successfully defeat the barbarian warriors.
Even though the other samurai fighting against barbarians were in a bitter fight against the heavenly beings who finally stopped fighting with their rifle butts and wittily shot from a distance, Sakata Gintoki, who had a terrifying strength worthy of the name of White Yaksha, could Not the man who will go down here!
The samurai sword in Yinshi's hand is not an ordinary samurai sword, it is a ship-cutting sword that can cut back and cut lasers and can cut spaceships!
So Alien Fatty and the large wave of experiences he brought were ruthlessly taken away by Sakata Gintoki.If Fatty Alien hadn't chosen a wise and strategic retreat when he saw that his subordinates were dying, he would probably have to confess himself to Yinshi along with the big wave of experience under his subordinates.
But even though he could save his life, the alien fat man is destined to be unable to survive on the earth.He failed the mission Igniz entrusted to him twice in a row. Even if the proud boy didn't check his water meter, there would be a large number of water delivery and courier troops trampling down the door of his house.
It is indeed a supreme honor to be able to get the blue eyes of Lord Alpha Gero, but he seems to be unable to bear this kind of happiness!
After collecting the experience of a hundred people, even Gintoki gasped for breath with a samurai sword.When he managed to get his breath together and wanted to smile and tell his companions that it was okay, he saw the fearful gaze that was so familiar to him and stinging his eyes so much.
Without saying a word, he swung his samurai sword and killed all the fleeing enemies. The white samurai uniform on his body has been dyed a ridiculous color by the colorful blood of celestial beings, and even his white hair is unfortunately stained. blood stains.But the only thing that remains the same is the pair of scarlet eyes that faintly glow with blood and are inhuman and sympathetic.
That is exactly the one who perfectly complements the name of White Yaksha, Battlefield Shura.
Of course, Yinshi also knew that the other warriors were only afraid of his frightening posture during the battle, rather than loathing him himself.But even so, being stared at by his companions with terrified and alienated eyes is absolutely impossible to bring him any positive psychological feelings.
Perhaps in your eyes, I wielding a long sword has become a Yasha Shura different from human beings, but the samurai sword in my hand is waving for you with the same dream as yours...
After swallowing the words he had almost blurted out countless times, Sakata Gintoki scratched his white hair stained with blue blood in disgust, then looked at the emerald green and dark blue samurai uniform on his body, and shook his head. She curled her lips and said, "It's so disgusting. Why are people's blood colors so strange these days, can't there be some normal ones?"
After hearing Sakata Gintoki's words, the other samurai fighters couldn't help complaining silently in their hearts: No, if the blood on your body turns bright red, it will only look more scary...
I complained in my heart, but after hearing this sentence, the other warriors who fought against the barbarians also felt relieved.Now that Gintoki has returned to his usual laziness and looks like he has no motivation to do anything, it means that Shiroyasha, who only belongs to the battlefield, has left here.
Of course, they also know that it's not right to give such fearful eyes to Gintoki as a companion, but it is also human to be afraid of strange things that are too different from ordinary people.No matter how he knew that it was his companion who fought side by side against the heavenly beings, when he really stood beside Shiraiyasha, he couldn't help but wonder if this guy would turn his head and cut himself off with a slash.
As the saying goes, Mu Xiuyu will be destroyed by the wind in the forest, and everyone must be wronged if his behavior is higher than that of everyone. When Yin, who is too outstanding on the battlefield, will be feared by his companions, there is no way to do it.
Be jealous and envious of someone who is stronger than you, and think that you may surpass him in the end; but hold fear and awe for someone who is much stronger than yourself, and avoid provoking him... Yes, the evil and pathetic that exists in human nature.
Because I want to live a wonderful life in my limited life, I don't want to be left behind, so I try my best to surpass the people in front of me.But because he is afraid of the huge power gap that may bring him death at any time, he tries his best to avoid people who will bring disaster to him.The psychological activities that arise because of the two endpoints of life and death on the life line are exactly the instincts that all human beings cannot avoid.
Probably only non-human beings like Igniz, who are wandering on the edge of the boundary between life and death, refusing to approach either end of life and death as if time has been frozen, can admire Shiraiyasha's awe-inspiring presence on the battlefield with a pure appreciation attitude. Posture.
But it's a pity that Ignis, who didn't want to step on the battlefield to watch people fight at close range, was doomed not to have the chance to see that dead fish-eyed boy who incarnated as White Yaksha cut down an enemy as Shura.
Of course, this is not the first time something like today has happened.Therefore, the other warriors who fought against barbarians had fully mastered the skill of pretending that nothing happened, and continued to talk intimately with Yin Shi about what happened just now on the way back.
"You were able to avoid the laser head-on and cut off the opponent's spear with a single blow. You are really amazing, Gintoki!"
With the compliments from his friends echoing in his ears, Yinshi could only smile indifferently, scratched his head and replied, "Where...you're exaggerating."
The samurai warriors who had recovered from the atmosphere were noisily heading back. As for the Shiroyasha who stood alone among the corpses and stood with a samurai sword, and all his companions stepped back ten meters behind him, he seemed to be trapped. It's as if no one mentions it anymore.
Yinshi and his little friends are really good at deceiving themselves and others. Naturally, the idiot Igniz, who was already ignorant, couldn't realize the strange embarrassment that seemed to be absent in the team of barbarian warriors, so he just twisted his nose and looked Disgusting at the blood stains, he said: "It stinks as if you have rolled in a pigsty. Take off your clothes and change them first, so as not to dirty this king's villa!"
In this way, under Igniz's successive missions to expel heaven and man, the exile warriors who originally only wanted to stay overnight have spent a week in the villa unknowingly.
It was also when Yin Shi, who realized that they had stayed here for too long, was about to say goodbye to Igniz and continue to look for the lost companions, Igniz, who had already developed a habit of taking care of himself, was the first to open the door. When the silver is broken.
"A group of suspicious people appeared in the village about seven miles southeast of the villa. You'd better go check it out."
Yinshi just wanted to say that they were going to leave to find other companions, but he swallowed all the words because of the second half of the sentence that the boy frowned.
"Judging from the other party's dress and behavior, they should be human beings. And...it seems to be a warrior against barbarians just like you." Igniz rested his chin in his hand and muttered, "The leader...what is his name? Is it coming? It seems that the wig Kotaro is coming?"
Yinshi was originally planning to set off to find his companions, and after getting the news about the other warriors fighting against barbarians from the young man, there was naturally no reason not to go.After the greasy thieves raised these days and the lumpy flesh on their faces were about to leave, Igniz sighed and said to Atubo, or to himself: "Meet you, comrades!" , that's great."
"Hmph, since that's the case, then I should seriously have a good chat with my 'comrades'. I have been absent from the meeting of the Daoists for a long time."
As the de facto ruler of the Alpha Gero Nebula, the Second Prince of China who does not stay in his country to deal with political affairs but insists on coming to Earth to appreciate the original beauty, is also a first-class honorable status among the heavenly beings.Such a status of being born superior to others naturally allowed the young man to become one of the twelve members of the shogunate in power without making any contributions.
But now, the milk star prince, who has built resorts since he came to the earth and not just soaked in hot springs every day, is finally willing to attend the behind-the-scenes meeting with 11 seats but only [-] people.
Stupid celestial beings, prepare your mind to welcome the King!
The author has something to say:
The settings of aliens are not all Gintama’s celestial settings, some settings of levelE and fishing balls are also included.
Because Igniz ordered that heavy weapons not be allowed to disturb his enjoyment of the idyllic scenery, even the alien fat man who hated the barbarian warriors and wanted to smash them to ashes could only let the crooked melons fall apart. They went to 'suppress bandits' with silent laser guns, and had to give up the tempting idea of bombarding them with shells.
Even though it is not clear why the bombardment from five miles away would affect the teenagers in the villa from enjoying the pastoral scenery, the fat alien dare not take the risk of his fat but not greasy head. affect teenagers.
Although they are collectively called celestial beings by humans on earth, the aliens who are also called celestial beings do not really come from one country.
As close as the Martians in the solar system who are eyeing the earth, as far as the Reinhardt aliens who come across the universe through distorted wormholes, all kinds of aliens have come to the earth for various reasons. The shogunate who are in awe of alien technology are collectively called "heaven and man".
And these alien friends who come from all over the universe and are obviously not very friendly to the earth people, naturally cannot be a harmonious and friendly iron plate, and there are also ranks and power divisions between each other.
The most powerful celestial beings behind the scenes are called the Heavenly Daoists. They directly manipulate the puppet government shogunate who have surrendered to the celestial beings behind the scenes. It is just a low-level clown who can only bully and bully earthlings by virtue of his so-called status as a celestial being.
Alien Fatty can probably be regarded as the middle level among the heavenly beings. Although he has not reached the point of pointing out the world and denouncing Fang Qiu, he will not be reduced to bullying the earthlings to find a sense of existence as cannon fodder for giving experience.He who runs dance halls and entertainment venues on the earth is just a model of rampant arrogance at high-level celestial beings wagging his tail at retail celestial beings.
As a member of the Twelve Heavenly Dao, Ignis, who can cut the largest piece of cake on earth just by his status, is naturally the object that the fat alien needs to flatter and curry favor with all his might.
In fact, when introducing himself to the warriors who fought against the barbarians, Igniz did not have a single false lie.Eliminate the exaggerated elements of the second class, and what is left is the real truth.
The alien boy named Igniz Alphagero, the ruling prince from the Alphagero Nebula, and one of the twelve members of the shogunate manipulator... These contents are frankly told by the boy's mouth , both of which are terrifying identities that can cause an uproar if any one is released.
As for Igniz’s persistent denial of his celestial identity, the reason can be seen by comparing his cool, handsome, domineering identity with that of an alien fat man—so noble and glamorous Such a young boy, how could he be willing to be called a heavenly man together with that kind of low-end fat man who is poor and short!
Although they are all aliens, Wo is chosen by fate, more noble than anyone else and destined to become the great king of Kami in the new world!
↑ Needless to say, I can guess that this is basically the rhythm...
But it is a pity that none of the warriors who were frankly told by Igniz took this important information to heart.
As for the reason?Maybe such a cool title like Tiandaozhong is too far away for the current barbarian warriors, and they don’t know it at all for the current barbarian warriors who have not yet reached the stage of fighting the big boss behind the scenes; or it may be because of Yige Nitz's exaggerated introduction and tone prevented them from seriously analyzing the content of the boy's words, and missed the opportunity to get this important clue...
↑Hey, the thinking of the barbarian warriors is the thinking of normal people, okay!Who would have thought that a strange creature like Tiandaozhong, who sounds like a big boss at first sight, would rush to declare itself before the cannon fodder mobs came out to give experience!
No matter what the reason is, it is an established fact that the warriors who fought against the barbarians have not been able to figure out the true identity of the young man, and they have received the "task" from the other party to crusade against heaven and man inexplicably.Under Igniz's realistic acting skills that he even believed in (are you sure you didn't show your true nature?), the warriors resolutely took their weapons and walked to the legendary human village that was bullied by heaven and man.
Then... Are you so fucking sure that this is a human village and not a ghost village?
Judging from the size of the area, it was indeed a large village where many humans lived.Judging from the dilapidated earthen walls and many wooden doors that were forcibly knocked open, it is true that this village was once brutally invaded...
But the problem is, judging from the traces of decayed wood and weathered walls, this village has been uninhabited for at least 20 years! ! !
You fucking called us to drive out the gods and humans in a village that has not been lived in for more than 20 years, do you think it is fun to tease us!
Just when the warriors felt the humiliation of being molested by the young man, and were about to go back and settle accounts with that bad boy, a squeaky and strange voice resembling a reptile sounded from the other side of the village——
"Ah, it's the barbarian warriors! Tear them all up and down, Lord Benzbern will reward you!"
Sakata Gintoki and his friends turned their heads towards the source of the sound, and after seeing those dark green-skinned celestial beings who took revenge on the society, they couldn't help bowing to the professionalism of these celestial robbers. shed a tear.
In such a dilapidated village, it is estimated that a mouse would have to walk away with tears in his eyes.You don't even let this go and come to grab it, brother, how miserable are you guys!
Although Yinshi and his little friends were deeply moved by the professionalism of the celestial "robbers", the celestial thugs who received the order from the alien fat man did not have the slightest idea of preparing to rob the village. Seeing a cat... oh no, the tiger ran up like a rabbit, ready to hit the barbarian warriors with the laser gun in his hand.
↑Wait, why the butt? !With a laser gun in hand and running up to play hand-to-hand combat with a gun stock and a samurai sword, does this setting really matter?
As competent and dedicated cannon fodder for delivering experience, the dark green-skinned reptiles gave full play to their professional ethics of not being afraid of hardship or tiredness, no matter whether you want it or not, I just want to jump over the tower to forcefully send people's heads, and rushed up with laser guns waving the handles , and then hacked to death by the barbarian warriors...
"There are really stupid gods and humans appearing...Suddenly, I feel that this world has become unreal."
Sakata Gintoki held the long knife in his hand that was stained with the dark green blood of the celestial beings in a daze, recovered from the tense and chilling state, and faced the corpses of the celestial beings lying on the ground without breathing in front of him. I fell into deep contemplation.
Why are there bandits of heaven and man in such a village that seems impossible to live in?Why do these celestial robbers who are so desolate that they even want to rob uninhabited villages recognize them as warriors against barbarians at a glance?Why do these days people rush up screaming and screaming as if they had taken a stimulant after seeing the warriors against the barbarians?
Most importantly, why did that boy know that the heavenly beings were coming here to rob? !
Just when Sakata Gintoki began to think about life, the future and the world, his little friends were already laughing and patting each other's shoulders, ready to pack up the spoils and hand in the task... Sakata Gintoki looked at this group of people caught in the RPG simulation The friends who couldn't help themselves in the game almost grabbed the ground with their heads. What kind of sorcery did the boy fall to the ground, and turned all his fresh and upright friends into such an out-of-spirited appearance!
↑So when exactly did you have the illusion that your little friends still have integrity!
Sakata Gintoki, who feels that everyone is drunk and I am alone, tries to wake up the friends who are addicted to RPG with a cry from the heart.But it's a pity that the little friends who simply thought this guy was thinking too much continued to playfully discuss how to seduce the boy to go to the hot spring together after returning home, completely ignoring Sakata Gintoki who was full of worries.
Seeing that his little friends who were also warriors against barbarians were corrupted into such a state in just one day, Yinshi also felt a sense of sadness that he could not integrate into the group while his heart was cold.Even though he was known as the White Yaksha before, he was always a killing machine that was feared by both the enemy and us on the battlefield, but in his spare time, he also has like-minded friends who can discuss the way of serving the country together...
But now he suddenly discovered that those little friends who vowed to wipe out the heavens and humans with him have degenerated into decadent uncles who want to drink wine and soak in hot springs, and they no longer have the high spirits to throw their heads and blood with him. His fighting spirit... Could it be that he, who has become out of gregarious, is doomed to be alone all his life?
No!Do you want to be a coward for life, or a hero?Even if it is only for a few minutes, you must become a hero admired by everyone!And to be a hero requires more than courage!The cry from the heart is only to wake up a few people! !
So when Sakata Gintoki kept shouting from his heart, the samurai warriors who were at the crossroads were enraged by the silver-haired chanting, and immediately took out the cross-time-space sex prop ♂ from the different-dimensional pocket The ball was stuffed into the mouth of Yintoki who was still screaming and trying to wake up his friends.
"There is no way to race, just shut up and enjoy life!"
After being treated so roughly by his friends, Yinshi, who was physically and mentally exhausted, said that he would never love again.The past of discussing how to expel heaven and man to save the country together under the setting sun is exactly our lost youth and irretrievable love...
Although Gintoki Sakata was full of doubts and wanted to confide in his friends, but the friends had been so bewitched by Igniz that they couldn't turn back.Therefore, Sakata Gintoki, who can no longer save his little friends by his own power alone, decided that now is the time to accumulate strength and leave the seeds of revolution to wait for the future to ignite a prairie fire!
↑In other words, when I felt deeply that I could not rape Yinshi who had fled from ♂ from fate, I was ready to give up my morals and start enjoying the corrupt life after returning to the villa...
Pretending to be like a proletarian revolutionary, isn't your bourgeois unscrupulous face exposed every minute! Soul Dan!
After exterminating the heaven and man from the uninhabited village, the team of the barbarian warriors returned to the resort of Igniz.It is still the high-end and elegant gate of the villa, and there is still a low-key, luxurious and connotative flour-spreading mechanism on the threshold of the gate, but the only difference from before is that this time waiting for them behind the gate is no longer a boy and a girl. A Tubo, but a combination of the boy and A Jinbo.
↑Although with the eyes of the barbarian warriors, you can't tell the difference between A Tu Bo and A Jin Bo...
"Everyone, you have worked hard." Igniz cleared his throat, and decisively said to the warriors with a calm voice that matched the owner of the villa, "The heavenly beings who invaded the village were successfully expelled. Thank you for your help, and said that in the future, I will actively inform and let the heavenly beings come and wipe out one group at a time... In short, congratulations on completing the mission, this is your mission reward."
After the boy snapped his fingers, Ajinbo stepped forward holding a box of shining gold coins and more than 20 unknown necklaces, and handed over the strange mission rewards in his hands to the warriors fighting against barbarians.
Under the suspicious eyes of Yinshi and his friends, Igniz explained calmly and calmly: "Don't look at these necklaces as if they are just ordinary necklaces. Blessing! As long as you wear the necklace in the jewelry column, you can increase your agility by 30 points and your attack power by [-] points, and you will have a [-]% chance to dodge when attacked by the enemy!"
Yin Shi, who was stuffed with sensual gags in his mouth, wanted to complain but couldn't: ...Although it sounds very powerful, but can you teach us where to look in the jewelry column!
After the warriors who fought against the barbarians happily accepted the task rewards and expressed their firm determination to complete the organizational tasks and love the country, love the people and love the party for 100 years, Igniz waved his hand with satisfaction and said: "Very good, your ideological consciousness is very good. It's very high, so today's brainwashing activity is over here. Everyone, go take a bath, pick up some soap and relax, and then get ready to eat and rest."
Yin Shi, who still hasn't taken out the sensual mouth ball, can only whine: ... Fuck you just said brainwashing!You said brainwashing, you definitely did!Sure enough, you used black magic on my little friends!
After issuing the instruction that the meeting could be dismissed, Igniz was the first to go back to the room, change his clothes and go to the hot spring.Just like what he said when I introduced him, this resort was really created by him for soaking in hot springs, so every day he would go to the VIP single bath to enjoy the original beauty.
When passing by Sakata Gintoki, Igniz couldn't help but stop and gave the silver fur a strange look, and after a rare moment of hesitation, he pointed to his mouth and said, "What are you doing with this thing?" ? Do you want COS Ping♂家♂boy?”
After hearing the boy's question, Sakata Gintoki couldn't help turning his angry eyes to his friends, glaring at them without saying a word, and there was only one core idea—all of them The bastard forced it on me!
"Well, I didn't ask you who put it on for you. I wanted to ask, why didn't you take him off?" Igniz swayed around the other party's hands and feet that were completely free of movement with a strange look. Then he sighed with a clap of fists, "So you're a masochist who likes to be masochistic... No need to explain, I understand."
The young man with a delicate expression of "I understand you" drifted away in front of the dull and weathered Gintoki, leaving only a hypocritical upright who was facing the gate of the new world and fell into deep thought with a ball in his mouth. juvenile.
What is shaking M?Do you like masochistic people?So why do Shaking M and they like to be masochistic?Can masochism bring pleasure to shaking M?But I don't feel pleasure when I'm abused, so why does he say I'm shaking M?
The troubles of the boy Yinshi continued until his unscrupulous little friends were freed, and they all let go of their feet and were about to rush to the bathing place to soak in the hot spring.For Yinshi, who has decided to give up thinking and enjoy life with the crowd, shaking M or something is not important anymore.
Because there will be wrestling activities in the bath when I soak in the hot spring today!He also wants to participate in wrestling and then trample those stupid little friends under his feet, laughing proudly!
↑To sum up, this guy is a Shaking S who has not yet awakened, and definitely not a Shaking M who likes to be abused. The identification is completed.
After the trip to the bathhouse, which had almost become a daily task, Igniz set up a sumptuous dinner made by Ah Huobo in the dining room, smiling at a table of dishes that could feed about fifty or sixty people Said calmly: "Sa, please don't be polite, just open your stomach and eat as much as you want~ I like bold and upright people, especially those who like delicious food and have the same interests as me... So, if you don't want to anger me For minced meat, it’s best to finish dinner with a happy face, understand?”
The barbarian warriors looked at the huge amount of dishes on the long table that seemed to burst their stomachs, and then looked at the murderous young man with a gentle smile. They always felt as if they had accidentally stepped into some terrible banquet...
So under the efforts of the warriors who were fighting against barbarians with the determination to die, the food piled up on the long table began to decrease slowly. When everyone was clutching their round stomachs that looked like watermelons and howling that they could not eat any more, The scary-looking food on the long table was reduced to soup leftovers.
Looking at the barbarian warriors who were sitting on chairs thinking they couldn’t eat any more, the thoughtful young man on the chief seat escaped from his clothes pocket with a small black book, and opened the book that read "Human Breeding Records". After reading a suspicious notebook with a name, he turned to a page titled "Feed Selection", and put a bright red tick behind the line "Is it possible to use large doses of feed to quickly fatten up".
New pose get√
After the dinner, which was actually a fattening plan, the warriors who walked out supported each other while leaning on the wall looked at each other's stomachs that had been pregnant for seven or eight months, and all sincerely sighed: We can still survive , This is really a very touching miracle!
After a night's rest, the warriors who had recharged their batteries and regained their energy received a new assignment from the teenager.
"I heard that ten miles southwest of the villa, there was a gang of celestial beings running around committing crimes continuously, brutally killing more than 50 innocent civilians on earth, and having an extremely bad impact on the social order of the earth! I hereby grant you the right to investigate For this task, I hope that you can do your best to help the civilians who died innocently!"
Well, it was still five miles away yesterday, and today it is ten miles away... The barbarian warriors who started to run errands again could not help silently wondering in their hearts, if this continues, when will the mission destination change? Twenty-five thousand miles away? !
After the barbarian warriors left the field of vision, Igniz contacted the fat alien from yesterday again in the same manner. As soon as the contact influence appeared, he sternly reprimanded him: "Incompetent waste, what are your subordinates?" You are useless and useless! You can’t even deal with a small group of barbarian warriors, what use are you for!”
Fatty Alien has lost contact with his subordinate since yesterday, and has been anxiously waiting for his reply.But what he didn't expect was that before the reply letter came, the boy's accountability was waiting to come.
So really shocked, the alien fat man whose purple fat face was frightened into white hastily apologized to Igniz, and said that this time he will definitely complete the mission and send the most capable men to wipe out the enemy in one fell swoop Only then did I hear the young man's cold snort.
"Hmph, although you are really hateful, but since the barbarian warriors failed to substantially harass the king yesterday, the king will be magnanimous and let you go." Igniz played with his hands. With a black long knife, he said casually, "The barbarian warriors are also idiots who can't tell the direction. They were five miles away from the northwest yesterday, but today they are ten miles away from the southwest..."
After the alien fat man who was so frightened that his forehead was dripping with cold sweat hurriedly flattered him, saying that it was the King of Nyx who was wise and mighty for generations to come. After hearing the words of the alien fat man, he said bluntly: "If you can't solve this group of fleas today, you can hold your head and come to see me tomorrow."
The alien fat man, who was frightened into a cold sweat, had no doubts that if he couldn't deal with the barbarian warriors today, he wouldn't be able to survive on the earth tomorrow even if his head was still on his head!
So the alien fat man immediately patted Igniz on the chest, saying that he would definitely take down all the barbarian warriors by going out personally, and would never let this group of flirting disturb the king of Nitz to enjoy the idyllic scenery. Only then nodded in satisfaction, and said, "Very well, after the fleas are expelled from this king's territory, this king will reward you greatly, Mr. Grosso Einzbern."
Alien Fatty: ...My lord, actually my name is Jaroso Bainzbern!
No matter what, after the cannon fodder mobs that gave experience were successfully wiped out, the little boss also brought a large wave of experience... oh no, it led a large wave of elite mobs.Inexplicably involved in the boy RPG simulation game, can Sakata Gintoki and his friends successfully escape from the alien fat man?
The answer is of course yes~
As a male protagonist chosen by the world's consciousness, even if it is a male protagonist like Gintama who has completely lost his morals and is full of the world, Yinshi is not comparable to a small boss who has a lot of experience and sent him over the tower!
Although the enemies encountered this time are completely different from those heavenly beings yesterday.However, having a larger number of cannon fodder and knowing the correct posture to use the laser gun cannot be the reason for the alien fat man to successfully defeat the barbarian warriors.
Even though the other samurai fighting against barbarians were in a bitter fight against the heavenly beings who finally stopped fighting with their rifle butts and wittily shot from a distance, Sakata Gintoki, who had a terrifying strength worthy of the name of White Yaksha, could Not the man who will go down here!
The samurai sword in Yinshi's hand is not an ordinary samurai sword, it is a ship-cutting sword that can cut back and cut lasers and can cut spaceships!
So Alien Fatty and the large wave of experiences he brought were ruthlessly taken away by Sakata Gintoki.If Fatty Alien hadn't chosen a wise and strategic retreat when he saw that his subordinates were dying, he would probably have to confess himself to Yinshi along with the big wave of experience under his subordinates.
But even though he could save his life, the alien fat man is destined to be unable to survive on the earth.He failed the mission Igniz entrusted to him twice in a row. Even if the proud boy didn't check his water meter, there would be a large number of water delivery and courier troops trampling down the door of his house.
It is indeed a supreme honor to be able to get the blue eyes of Lord Alpha Gero, but he seems to be unable to bear this kind of happiness!
After collecting the experience of a hundred people, even Gintoki gasped for breath with a samurai sword.When he managed to get his breath together and wanted to smile and tell his companions that it was okay, he saw the fearful gaze that was so familiar to him and stinging his eyes so much.
Without saying a word, he swung his samurai sword and killed all the fleeing enemies. The white samurai uniform on his body has been dyed a ridiculous color by the colorful blood of celestial beings, and even his white hair is unfortunately stained. blood stains.But the only thing that remains the same is the pair of scarlet eyes that faintly glow with blood and are inhuman and sympathetic.
That is exactly the one who perfectly complements the name of White Yaksha, Battlefield Shura.
Of course, Yinshi also knew that the other warriors were only afraid of his frightening posture during the battle, rather than loathing him himself.But even so, being stared at by his companions with terrified and alienated eyes is absolutely impossible to bring him any positive psychological feelings.
Perhaps in your eyes, I wielding a long sword has become a Yasha Shura different from human beings, but the samurai sword in my hand is waving for you with the same dream as yours...
After swallowing the words he had almost blurted out countless times, Sakata Gintoki scratched his white hair stained with blue blood in disgust, then looked at the emerald green and dark blue samurai uniform on his body, and shook his head. She curled her lips and said, "It's so disgusting. Why are people's blood colors so strange these days, can't there be some normal ones?"
After hearing Sakata Gintoki's words, the other samurai fighters couldn't help complaining silently in their hearts: No, if the blood on your body turns bright red, it will only look more scary...
I complained in my heart, but after hearing this sentence, the other warriors who fought against the barbarians also felt relieved.Now that Gintoki has returned to his usual laziness and looks like he has no motivation to do anything, it means that Shiroyasha, who only belongs to the battlefield, has left here.
Of course, they also know that it's not right to give such fearful eyes to Gintoki as a companion, but it is also human to be afraid of strange things that are too different from ordinary people.No matter how he knew that it was his companion who fought side by side against the heavenly beings, when he really stood beside Shiraiyasha, he couldn't help but wonder if this guy would turn his head and cut himself off with a slash.
As the saying goes, Mu Xiuyu will be destroyed by the wind in the forest, and everyone must be wronged if his behavior is higher than that of everyone. When Yin, who is too outstanding on the battlefield, will be feared by his companions, there is no way to do it.
Be jealous and envious of someone who is stronger than you, and think that you may surpass him in the end; but hold fear and awe for someone who is much stronger than yourself, and avoid provoking him... Yes, the evil and pathetic that exists in human nature.
Because I want to live a wonderful life in my limited life, I don't want to be left behind, so I try my best to surpass the people in front of me.But because he is afraid of the huge power gap that may bring him death at any time, he tries his best to avoid people who will bring disaster to him.The psychological activities that arise because of the two endpoints of life and death on the life line are exactly the instincts that all human beings cannot avoid.
Probably only non-human beings like Igniz, who are wandering on the edge of the boundary between life and death, refusing to approach either end of life and death as if time has been frozen, can admire Shiraiyasha's awe-inspiring presence on the battlefield with a pure appreciation attitude. Posture.
But it's a pity that Ignis, who didn't want to step on the battlefield to watch people fight at close range, was doomed not to have the chance to see that dead fish-eyed boy who incarnated as White Yaksha cut down an enemy as Shura.
Of course, this is not the first time something like today has happened.Therefore, the other warriors who fought against barbarians had fully mastered the skill of pretending that nothing happened, and continued to talk intimately with Yin Shi about what happened just now on the way back.
"You were able to avoid the laser head-on and cut off the opponent's spear with a single blow. You are really amazing, Gintoki!"
With the compliments from his friends echoing in his ears, Yinshi could only smile indifferently, scratched his head and replied, "Where...you're exaggerating."
The samurai warriors who had recovered from the atmosphere were noisily heading back. As for the Shiroyasha who stood alone among the corpses and stood with a samurai sword, and all his companions stepped back ten meters behind him, he seemed to be trapped. It's as if no one mentions it anymore.
Yinshi and his little friends are really good at deceiving themselves and others. Naturally, the idiot Igniz, who was already ignorant, couldn't realize the strange embarrassment that seemed to be absent in the team of barbarian warriors, so he just twisted his nose and looked Disgusting at the blood stains, he said: "It stinks as if you have rolled in a pigsty. Take off your clothes and change them first, so as not to dirty this king's villa!"
In this way, under Igniz's successive missions to expel heaven and man, the exile warriors who originally only wanted to stay overnight have spent a week in the villa unknowingly.
It was also when Yin Shi, who realized that they had stayed here for too long, was about to say goodbye to Igniz and continue to look for the lost companions, Igniz, who had already developed a habit of taking care of himself, was the first to open the door. When the silver is broken.
"A group of suspicious people appeared in the village about seven miles southeast of the villa. You'd better go check it out."
Yinshi just wanted to say that they were going to leave to find other companions, but he swallowed all the words because of the second half of the sentence that the boy frowned.
"Judging from the other party's dress and behavior, they should be human beings. And...it seems to be a warrior against barbarians just like you." Igniz rested his chin in his hand and muttered, "The leader...what is his name? Is it coming? It seems that the wig Kotaro is coming?"
Yinshi was originally planning to set off to find his companions, and after getting the news about the other warriors fighting against barbarians from the young man, there was naturally no reason not to go.After the greasy thieves raised these days and the lumpy flesh on their faces were about to leave, Igniz sighed and said to Atubo, or to himself: "Meet you, comrades!" , that's great."
"Hmph, since that's the case, then I should seriously have a good chat with my 'comrades'. I have been absent from the meeting of the Daoists for a long time."
As the de facto ruler of the Alpha Gero Nebula, the Second Prince of China who does not stay in his country to deal with political affairs but insists on coming to Earth to appreciate the original beauty, is also a first-class honorable status among the heavenly beings.Such a status of being born superior to others naturally allowed the young man to become one of the twelve members of the shogunate in power without making any contributions.
But now, the milk star prince, who has built resorts since he came to the earth and not just soaked in hot springs every day, is finally willing to attend the behind-the-scenes meeting with 11 seats but only [-] people.
Stupid celestial beings, prepare your mind to welcome the King!
The author has something to say:
The settings of aliens are not all Gintama’s celestial settings, some settings of levelE and fishing balls are also included.
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