Leftover temperature

After Si Jinqing was here for a month, Xia Shenyan had an intuition that he couldn't be allowed to stay any longer, otherwise he would reveal his secrets.

The weather has been very cold recently, so cold that even if the heating is turned on in the room and he is covered with a thick quilt, he will tremble uncontrollably at night, feeling cold and uncomfortable all over, coupled with the hallucinogenic drowsiness after taking the medicine The side effects of the cancer and the almost bone-piercing cancer pain made him sleepless almost all night.He didn't dare to use sleeping pills, because after using them, his body would be sore during the day and he would have no energy for the whole day.

And he really doesn't want to be sent to the hospital by Si Jinqing at this time, he doesn't like the smell of disinfectant, he doesn't want to lose his hair after undergoing chemotherapy, and he doesn't want to have his stomach cut open by a cold knife, it's already so cold Now, the skin and flesh and blood have had enough of the wind and snow, and the viscera can no longer be icy cold.

He doesn't want to cure.

So one month later, Xia Shenyan asked Si Jinqing that question again, and this time Si Jinqing answered him directly, saying, "Yanyan, wherever you are, I will be right there."

Xia Shenyan froze for a moment, suddenly felt a little funny.What does he count?If it is said to be Si Jinqing's nephew, it is just a name; if it is said to be a lover, he is not worthy.What's more, he must always remind himself: Si Jinqing has a fiancée, and he will only hinder him.

The years he spent with Si Jinqing were already a gift and mercy from heaven, how could he still expect to be with him, is he crazy?

"You go back." Xia Shenyan said with a smile, "I like this place, but staying here is not an option after all."

Si Jinqing's eyes darkened, and Xia Shenyan felt that his mood was down again, and it took him a while to ask him with a sideways look: "Is Yanyan driving me away?"

Xia Shenyan's heart tightened and he didn't speak.

He didn't dare to be greedy for him anymore, but how could he have the heart to drive him away.He didn't dare, if getting it became a gift, who would drive away this gift of mercy with his own hands.

But, does he still have the qualifications to keep him?His illness, his flaws, are the biggest warnings given to him by God. God is warning him not to get too deep, otherwise everyone around him should be implicated by him.

Anyway... even in front of Xia Shangzheng, he could say "never come again" without hesitation, so what's the big deal if he said "yes" to Si Jinqing.

But he took a few deep breaths, and the words he said were: "I'm sorry, I... I just..."

just what?It's just that he doesn't want to go to the hospital, have an operation, die on the hospital bed, or make Si Jinqing feel sorry for him?

But Si Jinqing didn't care about his last words and abnormality, and directly stretched out his hand to hold him in his arms, and whispered in his ear almost pleadingly: "Yanyan, don't drive me away."

Xia Shenyan couldn't say anything to reject him, but said in vain: "What about the company? What about your parents and... and Ms. Si? And Ms. Chi... what about?"

Si Jinqing closed his eyes, hugged him a little tighter, and said in a hoarse voice, "Yanyan, don't mention them. Don't worry, I'm here..."

Xia Shenyan looked at the slightly dark sky outside the window, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and suddenly lost all strength.He wanted to raise his hand to hug him back, but he didn't dare, he had made too many mistakes, and he didn't want to leave anyone with any thoughts, especially Si Jinqing.

That way, after he completely disappears, everything will return to how it was before.Mom and Dad are finally at ease; elder brother doesn't care too much; Qing Jia and Xi Xi still have their own lives; Ah Zhen will always forget about him; Si Jinqing... is getting married too.

Everything will be fine without Xia Shenyan.

Just why is the sun so dazzling?

Xia Shenyan narrowed his sour eyes, and laughed at himself in his heart: Xia Shenyan, what else can you not let go of?

It's time to let go.

Everything should be back on track because of his departure.

........................

The air is solemn and condensed, and the dew turns into frost.

On the day of Frost's Descent, summer ginseng developed an illness. He should be thankful that being sick in winter is a common occurrence for him. Si Jinqing didn't have any extra doubts, but what should come will come after all. He can hide it from Si Jinqing for a while, but he can't hide it from him For a lifetime, someone as smart as Si Jinqing will see the clue sooner or later.

His whole body was hot, and he felt in a daze that Si Jinqing was dressing him and wanted to pick him up from the bed.Xia Shenyan was startled, he felt that Si Jinqing was going to send him to the hospital, so he hurriedly grabbed Si Jinqing's hand, and begged in a hoarse voice, "I don't want to go to the hospital..."

Instead, Si Jinqing held his hot hand and put it into his sleeve, coaxing softly: "Yan Yan, good boy, go to the hospital to get well."

Xia Shenyan frowned, shook his head and said, "No... I don't want to go to the hospital..."

Si Jinqing was a little distressed.In the past, he would call a private doctor to treat him with Xia Shenyan's disease, but now it may be too late for Xin You to wait for his doctor to come over from such a long distance, so he had no choice but to take the next best thing and plan to take Xia Shenyan there first. Take a look at the town hospital, but if Xia Shenyan doesn't want to go, Si Jinqing doesn't want to force him.

Wrapped in a quilt, Si Jinqing hugged Xia Shenyan, kissed his forehead lightly, and asked in a low voice: "... Is Yan Yan uncomfortable? It won't be uncomfortable after going to the hospital to recover..."

Xia Shenyan was more than uncomfortable.

The convulsive pain and the dizzy mind tormented his weak will, but he didn't dare to say it, because he was afraid of being exposed, and he didn't even dare to take the sustained-release tablets.So he could only let the piercing pain continue to gnaw at him and eat him.

"Just hug me..." Xia Shenyan murmured suddenly, still pinching Si Jinqing's sleeve, as if trying to find his only comfort at the moment.

He didn't know how to deal with Si Jinqing, the warmth of cuddling each other had ended for five years.

Every cold and lonely night in these five years was spent by himself.

During Chinese New Year and holidays, he will never be in the lights of thousands of houses.

He would take medicine when he was in pain, and usually rolled on the bed in pain. When he couldn’t hold on any longer, he would hit his head on the cabinet in a delusional attempt to knock himself out, and sometimes his nose and face would be bruised; Inconspicuous places on the body.He tried in vain to relieve the coldness in his viscera with the tingling pain on his flesh.This made him dare not take any scenes that required showing his body.

Of course, sometimes these may not be effective, so he will increase the dosage of the medicine without the doctor's advice, so he is dependent on the medicine, and he has been completely inseparable from the drugs that can temporarily relieve his pain.

In the end, Xia Shenyan went to the town hospital under Si Jinqing's warm attack. Fortunately, today's weather is not too cold compared to the previous few days.

Si Jinqing only took Xia Shenyan to the surgery. He didn't feel relieved until the doctor said it was a common cold, and carried him to find a small room with adequate heating for IV drip.

From the beginning to the end, Xia Shenyan was in his arms, and he didn't even get off the ground.When getting out of the car, Si Jinqing covered his face with a scarf to block the cold outside, but he was unexpectedly warm and comfortable, and even the pain disappeared a lot.

They never cared about any strange eyes, and embraced each other frankly.

Xia Shenyan felt better after taking the antipyretics and sleeping in Si Jinqing's arms.When they woke up, they were still in the hospital, and Si Jinqing took him alone in the vacant single room.The sanitation conditions in the town hospital were not very good. Si Jinqing was worried about putting Xia Shenyan on the bed to sleep. It happened that Xia Shenyan didn't want to leave his arms, so he curled up on his lap and slept for more than an hour. .

Before the drip was finished, Xia Shenyan was wrapped in heavy clothes and had a fever in this well-heated room, his whole body was sticky and uncomfortable, so he could only helplessly pull Si Jinqing sleeves.

Xia Shenyan suddenly called Si Jinqing in a low voice. His final sound was very low, because his voice was still soft and hoarse due to illness, but when he spoke, it sounded like a coquettish inexplicably.

Si Jinqing pressed his warm lips to his sweaty forehead, lowered his head and asked, "What's wrong? Is it uncomfortable?"

Xia Shenyan snorted softly, twisted his body, and said, "Uncomfortable...I'm sticky..."

Si Jinqing: "..."

This sentence...he is too familiar.

In the past, every time the two of them finished, Xia Shenyan would nestle in his arms and whisper softly: "I feel bad..."

As a result, Si Jinqing's body almost reacted inexplicably, but fortunately, he was not so beastly yet.It's just that his Adam's apple moved, and he felt a little dry mouth, and he said as if to cover up: "I'll go home after the injection, Yanyan is obedient, please bear with me."

Xia Shenyan buried his head in the crook of his neck, and didn't worry about it any more. Taking advantage of the moment when he was a little unconscious, he rubbed his head against Si Jinqing's chest, and suddenly asked: "If... I am If, one day, I die...will you feel sorry for me?"

Si Jinqing's heart tightened, and the charming thoughts just disappeared immediately, her brows sank suddenly, her face darkened, as cold as frost, and she said in a deep voice: "Yanyan, there is no such thing as this."

Xia Shenyan smiled, and didn't say this anymore, but changed the subject pretending to be relaxed: "After the new year is over, you will go back to get engaged."

He remembered that Si Jinqing and Chi Beining's engagement banquet was just a few days before the beginning of the new year, and the double happiness came to the door, implying a good beginning.

Si Jinqing pursed his lips tightly and didn't speak for a long time. For a while, he didn't know what to think of, and said a low "hmm" with no emotion.

Xia Shenyan laughed lightly, feeling astringent and bitter in his throat, and his stomach began to throb again, but he endured it, and just continued to ask: "Are you getting married this summer?"

Si Jinqing's sister had told him about his engagement date and wedding date a long time ago, and she told Xia Shenyan not to be delusional and to leave Si Jinqing early.He kept his promise.

However, Si Jinqing didn't answer him this time.

"Miss Chi is fine."

Xia Shenyan remembered Chi Beining's appearance, and she couldn't forget that she once said to him with a smile: "Little friend, you and Si Jinqing's old iron tree that never blooms for thousands of years...don't miss it."

He was so amused at that time that he couldn't laugh anymore when he came back to his senses.He knew that Chi Beining had good intentions, but Xia Shenyan knew that he no longer had the courage and qualifications.

So he answered her with a smile: "Miss Chi, the road ahead is long, I hope you and Mr. Si can have a good relationship for a hundred years."

Chi Beining probably didn't expect him to respond like this, so he was stunned for a while, and Xia Shenyan left quietly during this interval.

Chi Beining's pairing with Si Jinqing was something that many nobles from Xin You talked about.What a dramatic hero and heroine for a rich and noble daughter to match the patriarch of the family, what is he?

Xia Shenyan thought about it and smiled again.

He buried his head in Si Jinqing's arms, and said in a low voice after a long time: "...don't get married in June."

Otherwise, he was afraid that he would not be able to bear it.

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