Leftover temperature

Xia Shenyan likes to dream very much.

The dream is either true or false, or the past, or some misty imagination that has been delusional.Some are good and some are bad, some are true and some are false, but they often make him stuck in it and are reluctant to come out.

Sometimes he was also afraid that he would die quietly in his dream.

Fortunately, every time he opened his eyes, he could still see Si Jinqing's back busy in the kitchen not far away, and when he tilted his head, he could see the white sky and the half-budding roses in the courtyard.

So he narrowed his sour and tired eyes, thinking that he was still in this world, he would also think: That's great.

Great, this is the clean corner he had longed for.The people he loves are here, the plane trees are here, the roses are here, the orchids and cats are here.

Will there be color in the dark fairy tale world?In the story, did the princess who fell in love with the prince finally get happiness?

Can he die well?

I'm really afraid, I'm really afraid that one day I will die quietly.

..........................................

Two weeks before the Spring Festival, Xia Shen developed a high fever.

The city hospital was far away, so Si Jinqing had to temporarily take Xia Shenyan to the town hospital for an examination. The doctor said it was a respiratory infection.But after taking the injection and taking the medicine, Xia Shenyan didn't get better.Si Jinqing was worried, and insisted on going to the city hospital for an examination the next day, but Xia Shenyan seemed to have a feeling, and grabbed him again in a daze, half-closed his eyes and said that he could not go to the hospital.Si Jinqing had no choice but to ask a private doctor to come over for an examination first. The private doctor also said that it was a respiratory infection, which made him temporarily relieved.

Probably because Xia Shenyan accidentally kicked the quilt at night and got cold, which caused the body's resistance to drop.

And these days his cough is getting worse.

Xia Shenyan said that he didn't want to go to the city hospital, but Si Jinqing actually didn't want to listen to him this time.No matter what, Xia Shenyan's body is the most important thing to him.But the city hospital is too far away from here, and the weather has been getting colder and colder recently, and there are more signs of snow, so Xia Shenyan must not be shaken this trip.So it would be two or three hours if it was fast, and it would be too torture if it was slow. If the wind blows outside and the illness is compounded, Si Jinqing will really go crazy.

But after weighing the pros and cons for a long time, Si Jinqing decided to go to the city hospital.

He was worried, he was still afraid after all.

He didn't dare to make his own claims, so he could only discuss with Xia Shenyan, but he didn't expect Xia Shenyan to agree so easily this time.

A long and tedious journey.

Fortunately, Xia Shenyan has been lethargic recently, and he didn't feel too uncomfortable after sleeping all the way.

After arriving at the hospital, he first took Xia Shenyan to stay in the VIP ward to rest for a day, before starting a series of examinations in the afternoon of the second day.

It's a thorough body check.

Xia Shenyan was tired after finishing, and fell asleep after eating.

The results came out quickly, and Si Jinqing's hands were shaking when he took the list, but the results of the inspection finally made him greatly relieved.

Except for early gastric cancer and chronic bronchitis, and some minor physical problems caused by the serious illness in childhood, there are no other diseases.

The doctor said that the cancer cells are stable at present, and there is no sign of spreading. It is best to perform surgery in time.Cough is a double cause of cold and bronchitis.Moreover, Xia Shenyan's body is too weak, and he has exhausted himself so badly over the years that even a little illness can blow him down now.

But Si Jinqing finally let go of that hanging heart.

Xia Shenyan didn't like staying in the hospital. The disinfectant water in the hospital had a strong smell. Although the environment of the central hospital was relatively quiet and clean, Xia Shenyan didn't like it here. Si Jinqing knew his rejection of the hospital.

He consulted the doctor, and after getting the doctor's consent, he took Xia Shenyan home in the middle of the night while Xia Shenyan was still in a coma. The car drove smoothly, but also extremely slowly, and it was early morning when he arrived home.

In the next few days, Si Jinqing took care of him non-stop, the personal doctor didn't dare to close his eyes, and Ren Zhan didn't even dare to take a nap, for fear that something might happen to Si Jinqing.

On the fourth day, his fever really subsided, leaving only a little low-grade fever.

Even if the person is still groggy, when he wakes up occasionally, he just squints his eyes to look at the surrounding environment, and then glances at the people around him, as if he is too tired to speak, and then falls into a deep sleep again.

He always seems to be immersed in a dream, crying and laughing for a while, holding his clothes tightly when he is sad, and relaxing his frown when he is happy.

Si Jinqing looked at Xia Shenyan who was smiling slightly in his sleep, and thought a little bit shyly: Why haven't you been truly happy once in these years?

................................................

Fields, birds, fire, sunshine, hope.

The sun is scorching and the green fields are long.

"Xiao Yan?"

Who?

Who is calling him?

Xia Shenyan rubbed his eyes and turned around.

At the age of 17, he stood in the small courtyard in front of his house, the scorching sun shrouded the brick house inlaid with yellow bricks and red tiles in front of him.

What a... what a familiar place, this was his former home.

"Xiao Yan."

Xia Shenyan was shocked, and finally heard who the voice came from.

Even if 15 years have passed, even if that person has been dead for so long, his voice, face and smile are blurred every time I think about it.But Xia Shenyan is always very sure, if he is willing to call him "Xiao Yan" again, he will definitely be able to tell that it is his.

Tears flow first without words.

"Grandpa!" Xia Shenyan choked up and shouted in the silence wrapped in the heat of summer.

But it's so quiet, it's still so quiet.

"Grandpa!" he continued to call him.

For 15 years, the person who raised him for 15 years, and loved him for 15 years, finally, finally appeared.

He waited, didn't he?

But no one answered him, the call just now was like a dream.

Xia Shenyan closed his eyes, even in a dream, he could still feel the pain of being out of breath and uncomfortable all over his body.

"Grandpa, let's talk to Xiaoyan..."

It's been a long, long time since anyone wanted to talk to him.

Before the age of 15, when he was still in the country with his grandparents, he always had endless words, those words were naive and boring, which always made his grandparents laugh, but after the laughter, grandpa would always move the small bench Sitting beside him, patted his head, and whispered: "Our Xiaoyan is so powerful, we can't do anything in the future!"

Little Shen Yan always believed it was true, and as soon as his round eyes lit up, he lay on his grandfather's lap and started talking about his wild fantasies.

in his fantasy.He made a lot of money and bought the entire Baihua Lane. He distributed the house to his grandparents, parents, brothers and sisters. The whole family would live a peaceful but happy and leisurely life in Baihua Town.

He yearns for a carefree life.In spring, the mountains in Shixi Village are full of vitality, wild grass and wild flowers are everywhere; he likes the sparkling river surface of Shixi in summer and the sunset in the evening sky; in late autumn, the sky is clear and clear, with fiery red maple leaves and golden Ginkgo biloba will cover the dirt and gravel paths in the high forests in the countryside; in the bright and warm firelight in winter, there are delicious roasted sweet potatoes and sweet and delicious earth corn.

It would be great if I could continue to dream like this innocently.

So in the end, he wanted to hide in the mountains with his grandfather.

"My dear grandson, let's eat!"

A deep and rich voice suddenly rang in his ears.

So familiar, so familiar that Xia Shenyan's throat was choked by something as soon as the voice rang beside his ear, and he couldn't utter half a word again.

The old man's tall and thin figure gradually approached him, and he was holding a delicious steaming meal in his rough hands with thick calluses.Xia Shenyan was in a daze, forgot even the surprise, and stretched out his hand to touch the person who was close at hand.

I haven't seen you for 15 years, how are you... how are you over there?

But as soon as that finger touched the corner of Grandpa's clothes, it passed straight through, like a phantom figure in a science fiction film, untouchable, clearly close in front of your eyes, within reach, but in the end, hopeful But not at hand.

No, maybe he is about to catch up with him.

"grandfather!"

The twelve or thirteen-year-old boy ran in from the gate with an anxious face holding his younger sister who fell dirty in the mud.

The young boy's smooth and plump forehead was covered with fine beads of sweat, and his white T-shirt was stained with the dirt from his sister's body.

It is the age of ignorance.

Xia Shenyan stood aside stiffly, then froze in place.

"What's the matter? Is Xixi rolling in the mud again?" Grandma came out of the house waving a cattail fan, and caught a glimpse of the two little people, both smiling and a little bit reproachful.

"No, no!" Xiao Zhenxi pointed at Xiao Shenyan next to him, pointing at Xiao Shenyan with dissatisfaction, and said loudly, "Brother accidentally pushed me down when we were crossing the path!"

Xiao Shenyan's face was flushed, and he lowered his head in embarrassment, waiting for the training.

Just as grandpa was about to say something, little Zhenxi took her elder brother's hand again, and pulled her elder brother behind her. She raised her chin and said like a little adult, "But you can't scold elder brother! Brother is careless!"

Xiao Shenyan was even more embarrassed, scratched his head, and said weakly: "Ah Zhen, it's because my brother is too stupid..."

Xiao Zhenxi immediately retorted: "No! Brother is smart, take me to pick flowers!"

After finishing speaking, the little girl took out the wild chrysanthemum, which was crooked and unrecognizable, from her small pocket, and showed it to her grandparents.

The grandparents took a look, touched the little heads of the two good grandchildren, looked at each other and laughed.

"Ah Zhen..."

Xia Shenyan couldn't help taking a step forward, wanting to reach out and grab something, but he was destined to be unable to grab anything.

Everything in front of him suddenly went blank, and the screen changed, and it was a lively and noisy winter night.

Under the dark night, it was fun.

This is a New Year's Eve with the sound of firecrackers.

There was no snow in Nanyang this year, and the house was stuffy, so the New Year's Eve dinner was placed in the small courtyard.

The breeze on a winter night gently blew off the last leaf of winter, and the heat from the stove under the table made the cheeks of the whole family flush.

Xia Shenyan smiled wryly, and thought to himself, it turned out that he also sat idle with his family, the lights were friendly.

On both sides of the eaves are hung red lanterns with the word "Fu"; in front of the gate is pasted a couplet written by grandpa himself; the music of the Spring Festival Gala on TV is so clear and lively; the children leading the home are holding flashing fairy wands in the small courtyard with their partners laugh at each other.

While grandparents and mom and dad are chatting about things between adults, they have to turn their heads to look at them from time to time.The three brothers and sisters sat together, each holding a large drink bottle of peanut milk, haha ​​happily grabbing the last meatball in the bowl.

In the end the meatball was intercepted by the eldest brother, Xiao Zhenxi cried and said that it was unfair and had to do it all over again, but the eldest brother had no choice but to put it back.However, once again, someone relied on his height and physical strength to win back easily, and Xiao Zhenxi quit again, pretending to cry, trying to make her brother soften his heart and give it to her.

The eldest brother glanced at the ignorant younger brother, hesitant, and finally curled his lips and divided the beef balls into two halves. The slightly larger half was quietly and quickly put in the younger brother's bowl, and the other half was given to the younger sister.

When Xiao Zhenxi saw that the older brother had divided it between her and the younger brother, she immediately stopped acting and laughed while biting a meatball.

On the contrary, it was Xiao Shenyan, holding the bottle in a daze, looking at the elder brother with shining and clear eyes, and said stupidly: "...Give it to me?"

The eldest brother seemed a little at a loss, turned his head and pursed his lips, gave a soft "hmm", and continued to cook rice as if nothing had happened.

Xia Shenyan enjoyed himself for a while, but he didn't eat the half of the beef balls, and gave them to his sister instead.

Little Zhenxi was taken aback for a moment, and immediately put it into his mouth happily and ate it. He hugged his little brother's neck and rubbed his mouth full of oil, and said cheerfully, "Thank you brother! Brother is the best!"

The elder brother next to him seemed to be stunned for a moment, then frowned displeasedly, stared at Xiao Shenyan and said, "Why did you give her what I gave you?"

Xiao Zhenxi snorted proudly: "Brother is much better than you! Cheapskate! Lululu!"

The elder brother ignored him and continued to look at the bewildered little Shen Yan.

Xiao Shenyan blinked, and whispered, "... Ah Zhen likes to eat."

"Then you don't like it?" he asked.

"like……"

"Like giving it back to her?"

"I……"

At that time, little Shen Yan only knew to give the best everything he could have to his youngest sister.

The eldest brother glanced at him, snorted, and held his breath and stopped talking.Xiao Shenyan sensed that he was in a bad mood, closed his mouth, and sat aside to eat quietly.

Unexpectedly, after a while, there was another boneless piece of meat in the bowl, and then almost all the red dates in the red date soup went into his bowl.He was a little dazed, looking at his elder brother, then at his grandfather, then at his father, and finally at his mother and grandma.

The meat was made by my brother, and the red dates were made by my brother and my parents.

Xiao Shenyan said weakly: "...I can't eat that much."

"It's okay, it's okay, Yanyan likes to eat red dates the most, eat as much as you can, and give dad what you can't finish." Dad laughed.

"That's right, Yanyan is still growing, and your dad can't finish eating for you." Mom looked at Dad with a smile, and scooped another bowl of soup for him.

"Our little Yan wants to grow taller!" Grandpa laughed while drinking the wine.

Parents, mother and grandma also laughed, and said happily, "Yes, yes, Yanyan will be taller than Shang Zheng!"

Xiao Shenyan also laughed happily.

"The little brother has to be taller than the big brother!" Xiao Zhenxi shouted loudly.

There was laughter on the table again, and the adults went to make fun of my sister again.

At this time, the elder brother who had been silent all this time suddenly came over, put a seedless red date into his mouth, and said in a low voice, "Give brother what you can't finish."

Xiao Shenyan nodded ignorantly, biting the red dates in his mouth, his cheeks were high, and there were oil stains on the sides of his little mouth.

The elder brother seemed a little disgusted, but he still touched a piece of paper and wiped his mouth for him, and said in a muffled voice: "From now on, you can't give to anyone what my elder brother gives you."

Xiao Shenyan was stunned for a while, and asked in doubt: "Can my younger sister also do it?"

The elder brother nodded, lowered his eyebrows softly, and said patiently: "What elder brother gives to Yanyan is Yanyan's, and what elder brother gives to Xixi is Xixi's. Do you understand?"

Xiao Shenyan nodded half-understood.

The elder brother smiled suddenly, patted the top of his head, and said, "Yanyan, let's grow up quickly."

Grow up quickly, and go to the outside world with your brother to see it.

Now the 29-year-old Xia Shenyan was standing not far away, watching this scene, he couldn't tell whether it was a dream or the past.

Did mom and dad love him?

Brother... have you ever loved him?

He only vaguely remembers that before he was 15 years old, he still had a family, but now he is 29 years old and has been homeless for 14 years.

He didn't understand why the people who once said they loved him didn't want him in the end.

The man who appeared in his life took him home without giving him a home.