[Network] Bats also want to fall in love

At that time, he felt that a person with such an expression and eyes must have a cold and aloof personality, so even though his heart was quite shaken at that time, he did not take the initiative to do something.

However, it was Chu Yan who found him.

In the backstage where the artists were resting, that person just walked over slowly and said a word to him.

"I like your songs, but I don't like the kind of emotion that your singing expresses."

It sounded a bit abrupt, but when it came out of this man's mouth, Bo Ran didn't feel any discomfort from his tone other than touch.

"If I have to say it, your singing voice feels very depressing. I don't know what you have experienced, but I can tell that you like singing very much. If this is the case, try to change it."

After talking to himself like a sophomore boy, he put his hands in the trouser pockets of his school uniform, bowed his head and walked away.

But there was a man who was hit by him but couldn't say a word.

After that, Bo Ran often went to see Chu Yan.

This child has a maturity that his peers do not have, and he has a more unique understanding of music than those in the industry.

Boran learned a lot from him.

Not only the music, but also his personality and mood have changed to a great extent.

While developing feelings for a teenage child may sound a bit esoteric, love just happens.

He has always known that he is gay, since he was still in junior high school in his teens, he discovered that he was more interested in men than women, until he came into contact with the term homosexuality, and the fact that he liked men was naturally accepted by him.

This secret has been hidden for a long time, and when he found out that he fell in love with Chu Yan, he also planned to keep hiding it like this.

During that time, it felt like a dream, passing quickly.

They met once or twice a week, and most of the time he went to find Chu Yan, and occasionally Chu Yan would go to his rental house to find him.

But Bo Ran seldom let him go to a place where the background of the residents was rather messy.

After getting to know Chu Yan for a year, he was finally favored by the big boss at an anniversary event of an economic company, and the manager's attitude immediately changed very obviously.

Slowly, the various announcements obtained by the agent were given priority to him as a matter of course, and the company also began to plan for his first album.

Chu Yan, who got the good news, ran to the rental house to find him without saying hello in order to surprise him.

Bo Ran didn't want to recall what happened at that time for a long time.

When I got home, I saw the boy lying in front of his house, bleeding all over the floor. At that time, I felt like the whole sky was falling down.

Maybe only in the face of death, people will realize something.

Chu Yan was finally rescued, and Bo Ran could no longer hide his feelings for him.

Originally thought that this kind of alternative relationship would be disgusted by the other party, but unexpectedly, Chu Yan was quite calm.

"I like you too." At that time, he was leaning on the pillow, his blood-losing face was pale and bloodless, and his eyes, which were no longer so sharp because of his illness, looked a little distressed and fragile, "You are right I have known my feelings for a long time, and I have been waiting for you to speak, but I didn't expect you to make me wait so long."

So they fell in love.

Chu Yan, who has already entered high school, is very busy with her studies.

After that, Bai Ran, whose career began to flourish, also became busy.

It was at that time that I heard about my father's remarriage from relatives.

The other party is a woman my father met when he was on a business trip. It is said that she is not in good health, but she is very gentle and virtuous, the type that my father likes.

Boran did not make any comments or reactions on this matter.

Even if he never blamed the father who didn't agree with him, but had already been kicked out of the house, he naturally wouldn't go back to be annoying.

Just like that, without knowing anything, he and Chu Yan continued to communicate.

Until one day, I heard about his mother's remarriage.

Invited by Chu Yan's mother to attend the wedding, it happened that there was an event in M ​​City at that time, and when he returned to his hometown after a long absence, he met the most unexpected person.

When he saw his father in traditional Chinese groom's attire at the wedding banquet, Bo Ran was stunned for a moment.

Look at Chu Yan beside him, and look at the most familiar man opposite him and the woman he is holding in his hand. There is nothing he doesn't understand.

His father's remarriage partner was Chu Yan's mother.

He and Chu Yan...

They have become brothers who are not related by blood but have a relationship in the legal sense.

His father walked towards him with a stern face. At that time, he even wanted to say disrespectfully, "We have already severed the relationship, haven't we?" to prove that he has nothing to do with Chu Yan and can continue to love each other.

But in fact, even though he was kicked out of the house, his name was still on the Bai family's household registration book.

He, Bo Ran, is still his father's son, and will also be Chu Yan's elder brother.

The father, whom he had not seen for more than three years, forgave him at the wedding.

But Chu Yan remained silent from beginning to end.

They didn't say a word to each other.

Not long after that, Chu Yan changed his name and moved to City M with his mother.

Even Chu Yan once refused, but at the insistence of his mother, he finally accepted it.

That was the person he loved deeply, and he would never be able to make her sad.

When given the same surname as Bo Ran, Chu Yan—the later Bo Yan became more and more silent in front of him.

And Bo Ran, who is flying all over the country and even abroad to promote his new album, has no time to take care of his mood.

Until one day, the resentment accumulated for several months finally broke out.

They had a big fight, and in that state it's easy to lose your mind.Even though he looked very mature, he was actually still too young, and Bai Yan suddenly said "It's better to break up".

The moment the words came out, both of them fell silent.

Even though no one had officially said they were breaking up, the Cold War seemed to make it a fact.

For nearly half a year, Bo Ran didn't go home again, and there wasn't even a phone call between the two of them.

After not seeing each other for too long, Bo Ran felt as if he had come out, and he even had a doubt that maybe he didn't like Bai Yan as much as he imagined.

However, when I was called home by my father during the Spring Festival, seeing the man who had grown taller in half a year, and his youthful edges and corners had become more masculine, something in my heart was touched again.

It's not that I don't love anymore.

Instead, he took a step back, not knowing how to start over.

In the short few days before the Spring Festival, the strangeness between the two was even strange to their mother.

Obviously they used to be such good friends.

Thinking that they couldn't adapt to becoming brothers suddenly, she created opportunities for them to be alone from time to time, and took her father to S City to visit relatives as soon as the first day of junior high school was over.

Only Bo Ran and Bo Yan were left.

Sometimes the relationship between people is very wonderful.

No one said anything, and they didn't even meet their eyes. One day when he was trying to cook, Bai Yan also walked into the kitchen to find something to drink, and when he handed him the salt shaker he needed, the cold war at the beginning And the embarrassment of these days seems to suddenly cease to exist.

If there is a first sentence, there will be a second sentence.

Once the emotion is revived, it is not so easy to suppress it.

That's when they had sex for the first time.

Even if each other's hearts are pressing the same thing.

Brothers shouldn't be like this.

Knowing this, but unable to resist the fatal attraction of the other party.

After the Spring Festival, Bo Yan, who was still in the winter vacation, followed Bo Ran back to S City for a few days.

Those days were like a honeymoon.

No matter how late the announcement arrives every day, as soon as he returns home, he can see Bai Yan waiting for him on the sofa in the living room watching the TV.

He also began to get used to taking supper back home. The two cuddled each other and sat on the sofa with a bowl while eating and watching TV. They felt comfortable even if they didn't talk.

That period of time, even now, is still like yesterday, because it was so happy, so it has been repeatedly replayed in his mind for many years to come.

However, the good times did not last long.

He remembered that it was in Bai Yan's sophomore year of high school that the affair between them was finally discovered by his family.

For a long-distance relationship, a phone call every day is indispensable, but the mother who discovered her son's abnormality peeked at Bai Yan's call records after a chat between the two, and the secret was discovered just like that.

My father was furious, and my mother was also seriously ill.

Homosexual love is not something that their well-behaved family who cares so much about others' eyes can tolerate.

Not to mention brothers.

This is immoral in the eyes of parents, even if they are not related by blood at all.

As for Bai Yan, his father, as a stepfather, has always been tolerant.

His parents discussed sending him abroad, but Bai Yan, who had always been obedient to his mother, became stubborn this time.

He always thought that Bo Ran would stand with him.

However, at that moment, Bo Ran retreated.

He didn't say that he wanted to break up, but he told Bai Yan that he was going to America for a period of time.

Even if you don't say it, you have already made your attitude clear.

When Bai Yan asked, "Are you abandoning me so easily", his answer was "You know how much I like my acting career. This is a dream I have pursued for nearly 30 years. I can't give up because of anyone or anything. .As a public figure, the matter between us will be exposed one day like it is now. At that time, it will not only be the current situation, but separation is the best choice for you and me."

Angry and disappointed to the extreme, even punching him was no fun.

Facing Bai Yan who turned away after saying "I understand" after a long silence, he didn't even have the courage to look up at him.

From that day to now, Bai Yan hated him for eight years.

And he never told him how much willpower he used to make himself say those words.

He couldn't watch that family fall apart.

Even though his mother was not his biological mother, she was such a gentle woman.

Bai Yan, he is doomed to let him down, so we can only make him despair of him, but we can't ruin his life because of him.

He had always known that his father was ruthless, not at all like the gentle and refined gentleman he appeared to be.

When the Dongchuang incident happened, his father only gave him one sentence.

"Do you want this family to be completely destroyed because of one of your decisions?"

Not only in M ​​city, his father's contacts are very extensive, which are left over from several generations, and it is not the foundation that he, a self-reliant person, can shake.

If it was himself, he would not bow his head in front of his father, just like he would rather be kicked out of the house before.

However, for the sake of his stepmother and Bai Yan, he had to do this.

And many years later, when he also had his own contacts in the entertainment industry, politics, and business circles, and had the ability to influence both inside and outside the circle, his father suddenly left.

Let him not even know who to resent.

But when he wanted to turn around, he found that there was someone else beside that person.

He could actually understand why his father wanted a male tutor for a son who knew he was gay.

The superficial tolerance and generosity towards Bai Yan is actually only because that person is not his own son.

As long as it's not his son, even if it's a homosexual he can't understand, if you want to do it, just do it.

At this point, Bai then deeply wondered whether his father was really so old-fashioned, or he had been wrong all along.

However, the person is dead, and no one can give him the answer to these doubts.

All he knew was that he had lost Bai Yan.

But he still loves him so damn much.

After a few more years, even the career he once loved so much finally made him feel tired.

At his peak, he suddenly announced his intention to fade out.

Except for occasionally participating in some large-scale activities, he rarely appears in public again.And during that time, when he was free, he knew that if he didn't do something else, he really couldn't bear it.

He was abandoned, but his self-esteem made him unwilling to admit that he still loved Bai Yan deeply.

So when he heard from an acquaintance that Bai Yan was playing a certain online game, he deceived himself and said to himself that it was just to pass the time and earn some extra money, so he did so-called boosting.

Sometimes he spends ten or twenty hours a day in the game. He has played almost every server and profession, but he has never met Boran.Or maybe they met, but passed by without knowing it.

Until he met Cheng Bat.

And after that, he finally realized that the tutor he thought was Bai Yan's new boyfriend back then actually liked someone else.

They're not in that relationship.

Knowing the truth, he can no longer deceive himself.

He has always liked Bai Yan.

Even after many years, he has faded away from his youthful appearance, and his appearance has changed, but his heart is still as gentle as before.

Seeing him supporting Cheng Ba as he encouraged himself before, he knew that even if he changed, that person would never change.

But he is no longer sure about his feelings.

And then, here we are.

Except when reading lines in a play, I have never said such a long paragraph, and I have never told anyone this secret.

However, once you start, the rest, you can't bear it anymore.

He lowered his head and buried his face deeply in his hands.

He was tapped a few times on the shoulder. Andrew is not the kind of person who is used to comforting others, and this kind of body language may comfort him more easily than words.

Both men fell silent.

After a long time, I heard Andrew suddenly say: "As an outsider, I can't give you any substantive advice. But there is only one thing, since you have tasted the taste of regret, never make any decisions that you regret."

Regret the decision?

Bo Ran felt as if he had been awakened by something.

His biggest regret is that he once gave up on Bai Yan, and it is the same now.