Earth is fragile, handle with care

Farrell has a great sense of humour.Yi Chu, his chef and crush, thinks so.

Of course, the employees of the Alien Office in Z City don't think so at the moment.

Early this morning, the Alien Office in City Z, which used the crematorium as a cover to hide the nature of its actual work, ushered in an uninvited guest.

Fu Xiang, an employee on duty, started his day's work listening to the non-stop funeral songs and howls of the crematorium. So far, he has not received any distress calls from alien friends in this city. This is undoubtedly a good thing. At first, because these idiot aliens hardly ever have a day off.

Many aliens known for their high IQs will always be put down by various earth appliances after they come to the earth, such as locking themselves in the refrigerator, flushing themselves into the toilet, putting themselves in the microwave oven, or even more stupid things , sitting on the gas stove and turning on the gas, unplugging the lights and touching the wires, playing with bundles and suffocating PLAY to play off... It is so common to damage the human clones used for boarding, the office has to deal with three or five similar cases a day event.

As the first article of the "Earth Simple Survival Manual" said: Welcome to the third planet Earth in the solar system. From the moment you land and meet the pick-up personnel, please carry the distributed mobile phone with you. It will be here for a long time in the future. Save your life - Earth is a dangerous place.

At this time, Fu Xiang must admire the foresight of the boss Dong Anyu. It is said that when the boss was selecting the site for the alien office in Z City, he resolutely crossed out options such as flower shops, coffee shops, libraries, etc., and finally chose the feng shui of the suburban crematorium. Treasure land.

Why?Is there even a question?In order to facilitate the hosts damaged by this group of clumsy aliens directly to the crematorium and burn them to ashes, it can also be used as fertilizer by the way, even if the host body is a clone without intelligence and consciousness created by human genes. Be ruined, these idiot aliens!

Thinking of yesterday's unlucky experience, Fu Xiang still has to sigh. That stupid regenerative alien still maintained the habit of devouring parts of his body when he was hungry after boarding on the host. When the help call arrived at the scene, the host had already burped due to excessive blood loss. The alien squatted pitifully in the nutrition tank to express his innocence, and repeatedly emphasized that this was a biological instinct.

Fu Xiang couldn't help but rubbed his temples and complained when he saw the suicide scene, which looked like a scene in a horror movie. This kind of strange scene really tested human's ability to accept abnormal phenomena.Do you believe a man can die by eating his own thigh?Anyway, he believed it...

The new employee who came to the office turned pale with fright, looking like he was about to cry, Fu Xiang glanced at him: "Hurry up and put the corpse in the car, fortunately we are driving a crematorium truck today, It doesn't matter if someone sees it, otherwise you have to cut it into pieces and put it in a plastic bag and carry it up. That's a hassle. If you ask someone to clean up the blood at the scene, I don't want to go to the police station and explain that I am not destroying the corpse but for aliens people to serve."

There was a knock on the door, and Fu Xiang yelled to come in.

A young man with a tall figure and a deep face walked into this office. He looked at Fu Xiang with the same eyes as Fu Xiang looked at a spider hanging upside down on the wall, but he was very polite when he spoke: "Good morning, may I Is this the Alien Agency in City Z?"

"Yes, may I help you?" Fu Xiang smiled professionally.I just wanted to get rid of this uninvited guest as quickly as possible.

"I need to stay on Earth for a while for some special reasons, so I'm here to apply for a temporary visa."

Fu Xiang gave a dry cough: "According to regulations, this kind of visa must be requested before entering the earth's atmosphere..."

"Sorry, I didn't think I would be on Earth for so long," Farrell said.

He originally thought that he would mess up the planet in a week, but the world is always full of accidents-such as encounters with food and love.

"Okay," Fu Xiang sighed. Anyway, the whole universe knows that Earth's visa is easy to get, and no one cares about these trivial things. "Then let's follow the regulations. I will ask you questions and you will answer them, and I will keep records."

"The first is the name and home star."

"Farrell Funks. Motherworld is Dadadela."

Fu Xiang pushed his glasses on the bridge of his nose. It was a planet he had never heard of. This is not surprising. The intelligent biological civilization in the universe is really as numerous as the sands in the Ganges River.

"Then what is the purpose of coming to Earth?" Fu Xiang asked in accordance with the regulations.

Farrell stared at the spider in the corner and said casually: "I'm chasing down a space criminal organization. In my spare time, I also want to learn the earth's violin. By the way, I will experiment with the recently developed black hole generator Ⅺ."

Fu Xiang stared at the phone on his desk and thought about whether he should call the BOSS and request to capture this dangerous creature.

Just when Fu Xiang was struggling, the phone rang, and Farrell answered the phone: "What's the matter?"

A gentle voice came from the other end of the phone: "I forgot to buy green onions. If you don't bother, please bring some back, otherwise the little ravioli at noon may not be very tasty."

Fu Xiang watched the terrorist in front of him with a strange tenderness on his face: "Understood." Then he hung up the phone.

The alarm was lifted, Fu Xiangxin said, this is just an alien suffering from paranoia, maybe he should provide him with a psychiatrist.

However, Fu Xiang soon discovered that his blind optimism was foolish.

"I'll give you 3 minutes to solve these boring problems. I'm hungry." The man's aura suddenly changed. He was just an ordinary person who looked harmless, but at this moment he was full of terrorists temperament.

"We have to follow the regulations..." Fu Xiang's voice stopped abruptly after he saw the things in the hands of this impatient alien friend.

Fu Xiang swallowed his saliva, and asked softly, "Could this be the porous silicon explosive that is currently the most popular among interstellar terrorists? I saw it in the news there when I went to the moon for business."

Farrell raised his eyebrows: "You are very knowledgeable. This is the main commodity that Dada Dila star exports to earn foreign exchange. Of course, it is the kind that does not pay taxes to the alliance."

Fu wanted to scream BOSS for help in his heart, but he still tried his best to squeeze a hard smile on his face. Without thinking about it, he signed his name on the review form with a big stroke of a pen, and then handed the pen to Farley respectfully. Er: "Please sign, just draw two strokes at will. What we are pursuing is to serve alien friends. We don't demand the form of signature, as long as the expression of meaning is in place."

Farrell graciously drew a Q version of the rabbit on it, which he learned from the sandals Yi Chu gave him to wear.

Looking at the signature with a distorted expression on his face, Fu Xiang looked at death and said, "The certificate will be delivered to your door tomorrow. I wish you a happy life."

After sending away the God of Plague, Fu Xiang immediately slumped on the chair and was in a daze for a while.Although he knew that this was not an easy job, the danger was beyond his imagination, and he almost went to see God with the whole city Z.No, from the perspective of God's territorial jurisdiction, this place is under the jurisdiction of the underworld.

Trembling, Fu Xiang took out his mobile phone and called the boss, Dong Anyu. As soon as the call was connected, he began to cry: "Boss, the office was almost blown up! You want to give me a raise!"

"I owe it, and I will pay it together when the pension is issued."

Fu Xiang wiped the bitter tears that didn't exist on his face and sighed: "I understand, you are only willing to pay for money when you lend usury to alien friends, and I have to tighten my belt to live, it's hard... ..."

The other party was silent for a long time: "I will work overtime tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is Saturday ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! I haven't rest for three weeks! I don't want to go to the toilet for the aliens and don't want to collect the corpse! I want to take a vacation, vacation !!!"

No matter how much he rants, the matter of overtime work is still settled. What's more tragic is that Fu Xiang found out that the alien terrorist's ID had to be delivered the next day.After Dong Anyu had popularized the glorious deeds of the Dadadillas the night before, he felt a strong sense of fear for this alien friend who could use the earth as a glass ball.If, if he accidentally angered this person and caused the earth to become history, then he would be a sinner through the ages.Hey, it is also very interesting to think of this setting as the trigger for the runaway of the Earth Terminator.

You have to satisfy the terrorists, not try to reason with them, otherwise you will soon see me gloating in another world—poor Alien Agency clerk wants to put it on his epitaph As written.