Died Before the Wedding

Later, he bought me a notebook.

At the time, that configuration was the best one.

I heard that his family is relatively rich.And I'm just a middle-class family. To buy a computer at this price, I need my parents to save three or four months' wages.

But even if he is the son of an anonymous richest man, I can't ask him for such a valuable thing for nothing.What's more, the responsibility for losing the computer is not his.

I am determined.He said yes, but the computer will be left to you first, and the money can be paid back at any time.

I just remember the money I had saved for a long time, and the day I saved enough, I gave the money to him, and he confessed to me.

Computer upgrades are fast, but I have been using it for the last three years of college and the first two years of work.

Xie Chenmin once asked me embarrassingly, why I didn't change it, was it because he gave it to me, and I couldn't bear to throw it away.

I said it was too expensive.

After I squeezed out all its value, the computer fell to dust in my drawer.

……

Xie Chenmin turned down a casual dinner party tonight, saying that he would go home early tonight.

Pretty female coworker joking, what's the matter, is anyone waiting at home.

He smiled without saying a word, just waved the ring on his hand to him.

I saw that the girl's smile was a bit stiff, and no one told her why Manager Xie had a wedding ring on his hand.

He said, my wife is waiting for me.

But no one was waiting for him at home except a dog, and he didn't come home.

He went to the bar.

I saw him sitting alone in a white shirt, his shadow stretched so long by the flickering neon lights that nothing could color its blackness.

I saw many people coming and going around him, and everyone here wore a smiling mask, often hiding a naked purpose instead of a heart.

Xie Chenmin said that he doesn't like this kind of bar place, because he doesn't like such people.

I watched him talking and laughing happily, ordering a glass of 12-year-old Chivas Regal for every beautiful woman who sat next to him, and then watching them leave for various reasons.

He even allows someone to give him a hook, or say some seductive words.

I don't know what it's like, I seem redundant.

I would have been redundant.

An excess of conscious air in the world.

Before the girl took his arm, she glanced at the ring on his hand with scruples, perhaps thinking of what kind of excitement the two of them were after, so scruples made a chuckle.

Xie Chenmin called a special car, asked the girl where she lived, and let her take her into the car together.

Oh I see.

Why, I shouldn't be too sad.

At least this person made me believe in the dream of being able to look at each other for a lifetime by holding hands with others. I should be satisfied, so why bother to think about the reality.

But why don't you tell me.

I won't refuse, just like promising you to start boldly and bravely without thinking about the consequences.

……

His roommate said that Xie Chenmin stayed with me longer than them. At 23:[-], they rushed back with the curse of the dormitory auntie, and they were no strangers to it.

They blamed me for teaching their Brother Min badly, and accused me of giving them compensation for the treat.

Can this be my fault? I didn't let him do it.

As soon as Teacher Cheng set aside my homework, almost all my nightlife after seven o'clock was given to evening self-study.

Sometimes when I don't have time to eat, I will call him, and after transferring the money to him, I will get an exclusive takeaway meal that does not require errand fees.

The takeaway guy doesn’t seem to need to study at night, he doesn’t leave after the meal is delivered, he stays next to me and praises how awesome the new computer he bought me is, or looks at the code on the screen, sometimes he will Be studious and ask a few questions.

It's nothing more than "what is this ball" and "what are you doing".

I answered him seriously, and he played with his mobile phone seriously.

I said, if you have something to do, go first.

He said, I am quite free.

I said, I delayed your blackout.

He said, it's okay, I'll teach you to play together.

I said, go away.

Then he would go and buy two cans of Coke, come back and sit next to me.

Sometimes we talk about everything and everything.Or he told me the story of him and his mother, and I knew that he was a single-parent family.

Occasionally, he taught me to play mobile games a few times, and after I deliberately pulled him down a rank, this situation never happened again.

He said that I was the most rigid senior he had ever seen, and that in college life, there was nothing but study.

……

So it makes sense that my homework was delayed so late.

Every time I close the computer, I glance at the time at 20:50, and all the bicycles outside have been robbed, so I ask him from the East School, can you do it.

He said, okay, when I go back to the dormitory, I will send you a message, senior.

I went back and clicked on the voice with the little red dot, and I could usually hear the background sound of his panting, mixed with the cursing of the dorm auntie.

I don't know why, but I was quite happy when I heard him being scolded.

Always laugh unconsciously.

A few girls in our class asked me why this handsome elementary school boy was so infatuated.

I said it was probably because the unpaid money from the computer was still in my hands.

……

I don't know exactly when I became dependent on his on-call takeaway.

Sometimes if he doesn't send me a message for a day, I will click on the little green icon to take a look.

He will take a video and voice for me.He speaks very amusingly, and it sounds like he can't help but make people laugh, and then click to listen to it again and laugh again.

He usually takes pictures of the small daily life in the dormitory, and he lives like home wherever he goes.His three very hard-working roommates would greet me when they saw me on the road, saying "Hello Senior".

Later it became called "Brother Lin", they said because Xie Chenmin warned their seniors that they could only call him.

Apart from Xie Chenmin, they created a three-group chat, pulled me in, and then collectively sued every day that Brother Min was sick.

I can't help laughing all the time - the expression that people around me are always teasing has been written off on my face.

I may just not have met such interesting people.

……

The girl said, is the handsome guy playing?

He laughed, driving ahead.

The girl laughed too, don't act the handsome guy, you've come out to have sex behind your wife's back, and you don't mind this.

He twirled the diamond ring on his hand and let the girl put her arms around his waist. He said, do you have experience.

The girl said, yes.

He said, are you afraid of getting sick?

The girl froze for a moment, as if it was the first time she heard someone so blatantly spread out such obscure and unspeakable words, she wondered, why ask this, you don't have it, do you?

He shook his head and said lightly, I didn't.

The girl said, how do you know.

He said, I checked.

The girl burst out laughing, and the flashy city lights almost turned into phantoms through the car window, reflecting on her pretty face.

She said, why don't you check this if you have nothing to do, it sounds like a ghost.

Xie Chenmin just smiled.

……

His roommate said that he went to the bar yesterday and didn't come back all night, and asked me if I knew where Brother Min went.

I was still in class, and I just glanced at my phone inadvertently, and I saw this one.

I was surprised and immediately called them back.

I said, I don't know, yesterday was fine.

I looked through the message records with him, and ended up with a title yesterday - senior.

Gone.

I don't find it strange, he often does this, and when I ask him what's wrong, he always says some random things, such as the weather is fine today.

They told me that Xie Chenmin had an argument with someone yesterday.

I asked, why?

His roommate said that the lecturer mentioned homosexuality in a lecture on mental health education for college students yesterday.

I don't know why my eyelids twitched slightly, and then.

The teacher is neutral and advises students who have this tendency to protect themselves.

The teacher's words are very open-minded and objective, but such a sensitive topic will definitely attract some sharp opinions.

His roommate said that there were a few boys whispering below, saying that homosexuals are all perverts, and that men and men are disgusting to the point of being sorry for their parents, which Xie Chenmin heard.

My heart is six o'clock.

I am the kind of person who is very insensitive to the eyes and opinions of the outside world. Even if someone points at my nose and calls me stupid, as long as I know who I am, I won't even care for a second.

His roommate said that he felt that Brother Min had that tendency.

I couldn't laugh or cry, and asked, how do you feel.

They said, Brother Min is too nice to me, and only those who live in the same dormitory know that Brother Min talks about the words "Senior Lin Chu" every day, and even buys back a bunch of c languages ​​that he can't understand at all, JA VA, Python tutorial, tell them that they must marry a sister-in-law who can program in the future, the person who can do this stuff is really amazing.

They also joked that Brother Min would be lonely for life.

They didn't think there was anything at first, but after the few whispering boys in the same class were ashamed and angry by Xie Chenmin's plain words, they mentioned me.

They said, come on, you Xie Chenmin, what are you pretending to be an objective passer-by? It's not like we don't know that you have sex with the guy who is a sophomore in computer science.

Then Xie Chenmin became angry.

They said it wasn't that they were disrespectful and said bad things about my brother. They really felt that Xie Chenmin meant something to me.

I don't know what it feels like in my heart, it's a bit like being choked when swallowing a heartbeat, a piece of flesh and blood jumping up and down in the throat cavity.

Not surprised, but inexplicably nervous.

I said, well, I'll go find him.

I found a valid reason and sent a message.

Xie Chenmin, come to the third floor of Restaurant No. [-], and I will pay you back the money for the computer.

After 3 minutes, he said, OK.

When I arrived, he was buying milk tea, two large glasses with ice.

There are almost no one for the four meals around ten o'clock in the morning. Let's go to the rest bar in the corner to sit.

The decoration here is the most luxurious among all the restaurants in the school, and it is not cheap for couples to have a date here.

He handed me a cup of milk tea, sat across from me, plugged in a straw, and said, wouldn’t it be good to transfer money directly via WeChat or Alipay?

I said, what did you do at the bar yesterday.

The pearls in his milk tea got stuck in the straw.

He was silent for a moment, then continued to finish his drink and said, go play.

I said, you told me you didn't like that kind of place.

He said, I just went to have a drink. I didn’t strike up a conversation with anyone. Besides, bars are not synonymous with illegal places. It’s okay for young people to go there to relax.

I asked, why on earth.

He said, I said, I just went to see and drink some wine.

I squeezed the ice and pearls in the milk tea to swim, and I said directly, are you interested in me?

Xie Chenmin said, senior, you are going to die of narcissism.

I looked at him who was shaking his milk tea with a straw carelessly with his head down, and said, can you look at others when you talk.

He said, I listen, I just suspect that she missed pearls for me.

I interrupt him, Xie Chenmin.

He said, well.

I didn't continue to say anything. I took out a large amount of cash from my schoolbag, which is rarely seen nowadays, and pushed it to him, saying, I am still used to paying large sums of money in cash. I am really sorry. My thinking is that it is time to reform.

He looked at the pile of money and stopped shaking the straw.

I said, I will send you Alipay for a fraction, that's fine, I'm fine.

I got up, dropped the next sentence, and I left.

He called me, as usual, a "senior" called me back.

I said, the weather is fine today, what else do you need.

Xie Chenmin said, I really just went to drink some wine and did nothing else.

I sat down angrily, put my hands on both sides of the table, and said, you really don't know what I'm asking you?

Xie Chenmin said, I know.

Before I could say the next sentence, he confessed himself first, saying, I dreamed that I fucked you, senior, and I still felt it after waking up.

Six points in my heart multiplied by two.

He said, I feel a little weird, because I had a girlfriend in high school.

I said, then you may be a double.

He said, I'm not kidding, senior.

Both of us were silent, I plugged in my milk tea straw and started to drink slowly.

He broke the silence and said abruptly, I like you Lin Chu, would you like to try with me.

I didn't answer, drinking milk tea.

After not getting a definite answer for a long time, his heart seemed to sink inch by inch, he smiled and sighed, and said, alas, why did I say it.

I also suddenly said, how can I agree if you don't tell me.

His eyes widened and he looked at me in surprise.

I said, just tell me directly if you have anything to do in the future, don't hide it, I have refused you anything.

He said, rejected my computer.

I said, go away.

……

We kissed on the third floor of the four meals that day, so focused that we spilled milk tea all over the table, impulsively and youngly practiced the first attempt countless times.

The next day he told me, let's do it senior, I went to the hospital for a special check, I don't have STDs, and I won't infect you.

And I thought it was very romantic to continue to add, and I will sleep with you alone in the future, donate blood to regular hospitals, do not get tattoos or tattoos, and take good care of myself.

Six points in my heart multiplied by three.

This is not a fool.

He told their roommates about being with me that day, and the three of them also expressed their support, except that they felt that Brother Min got it done a little too quickly.

They planned to form a group to go out for skewers that day.

Everyone posted in the group a cheering senior, brother Lin loves the kidney plus an emoji.

Me, six times four.

This is not a group of fools.

Birds of a feather really flock together.

……

We started at nine o'clock in the evening in his dormitory and tossed about for more than an hour.The first time I was in so much pain, I shed some tears halfway through, and I kissed him with the corners of my eyes blocked.

Sure enough, he was still young and exhausted. We made his sheets and bedding crumpled and dirty, and there was still a little blood.

He stopped in my body, and when he lay down to rest, he said to me, senior, don't try it, let's stay together, okay?

I said, I never refused you anything.

Added a sentence, except for the computer.