But for you, lovesickness

When he set foot in this room again, his heart trembled uncontrollably. Jin Yan pushed the door open and didn't take a few steps, but was stopped by one left and one right.

"I'm sorry, you went by the wrong way." Zhong Xin treated her so coldly that she turned into hatred.

Du Qing stared at her without saying a word.

"Didn't you just wait for her to go down to the ground?" Jin Yan pretended to be indifferent, raised his stiff brows vigorously, passed among them, and looked directly at the person who was facing him coldly.

"What do you want to calculate?" Yun Yi leaned against the bed rail, and the burning passion in his heart was slightly mediated.

"Let's count from the beginning. Our family pays for her medical expenses, and we are unlucky if we bear a bad reputation, but what is the truth?" Jin Yan turned his head and glanced at Zhong Xin, who had a dark face, "You know in your heart that as police officers, It's very important to be upright...after leaving this door, there shouldn't be anyone making rumors or slanders, right?"

Even Du Qing glared at her angrily.

"For the past three years, she lived and ate at my house and worked for my father. We should provide food and drink. So let's do it, and the debts are settled. Although my Jin family is no longer the same, I will not treat the people below harshly." Jin Yan bit the ending sound very hard, and then, as he wished, he saw a few faces that had completely changed color.

If it wasn't for Du Qing and Cheng Xin later, Zhong Xin's fist would have hit the cold and heartless face in front of him without accident.

Jin Yan raised his chin and pointed to the person on the bed, "That's about it, but I still have a few words, I want to ask her to help tell my ex-boyfriend about private topics, do you want to hear it?"

Du Qing opened his mouth in astonishment. He was wondering what the hell she was doing before, but then he sneered dismissively and dragged Zhong Xin out.

I'm afraid that if I walk slowly, my ears will be polluted.

Zhong Xin was still pondering Jin Yan's name, but after being led out of the door, Zhong Xin realized, "What are you doing?"

Knowing that Du Qing was bluffing, Jin Yan turned to look at the other two in front of him, thinking of the report paper rolled up in his hand, and said calmly: "My cousin said that her head treatment plan is out. Listen Said to put it on his desk, you can go and see it if you want."

Jin Yan had a look of indifference, he didn't even call Zheng Yang by any name, and he sounded like he didn't care.

The more Jin Yan looked indifferent, the more Cheng Xin became suspicious. When she saw the water stains on her hair up close, she vaguely recalled the situation of her self-imposed exile the night before... Drunk and raining, she also hurts, doesn't she? ...Then, as bystanders, who are qualified to judge her for granted?

Cheng Xin once put herself in the shoes of Jin Yan, and from Jin Yan's point of view, it was her lover who deceived her first, and her family members later.Hurry up, don't give her a chance to catch her breath.

Cheng Xin collected her thoughts, made up her mind, and turned to persuade Yun Yi: "Let's go and have a look."

Yun Yi didn't answer, didn't move a step, squinted and stared at Jin Yan, thinking that she had no good intentions when she approached Zheng Yang.

Seeing her stubbornness, Cheng Xin persuaded her bluntly: "She will be fine...Maybe she has something to say, let's go for a walk and let them stay for a while." Within a day, Jin Yan drank too much, Zheng Yang wept softly, Cheng Xin felt it from the sidelines, his heart ached uncontrollably.She thought about giving them a chance to get along and say the unspeakable things, maybe it would be better in her heart.

"You can trust her." Uncharacteristically, Yun Yi firmly rebuffed: "Zheng Yang is now injured and has a stalemate with his family. In the final analysis, it is inseparable from the Jin family and her, Jin Yan. Moreover, Zheng Yang's heart The pain was all inscribed by her! Now that the matter has come to an end, how can you pay it back, Second Sister?" Yun Yi talked about the excitement, and contradicted Cheng Xin recklessly.

"Second Sister!" Zheng Yang said suddenly, and then whispered: "I want to eat an apple."

Several people present at the same time recalled a scene from the past, and the dispute disappeared——

Apple is of great significance to Zheng Yang.

Once upon a time when a few of them were playing truth or dare in the dormitory, Zheng Yang of the game Black Hole was hit by Zhong Xin by mistake and asked such a question-"What is the person or thing that impresses you the most?"

The atmosphere sank, and everyone fell silent following the dejection of the person being questioned.

Most impressive?When recalling this sentence, the gray and ruined 16-year-old summer vacation in memory flashed uncontrollably before my eyes. Among them were the emaciated father who was no longer heroic in the hospital bed, the old mother who washed his face with tears in secret, and the younger brother whose eyes were swollen from crying. and weak self.

In a trance, the threat of death swept across, and the terrifying memories of the ruthless cold pale color and the pungent and nauseating disinfectant surged...

Zheng Yang controlled the undercurrents in his heart, silently slowed down, and talked about another thing, which was the warm relationship of the family deeper in his memory.

That was the first time she mentioned her father—

He is an anti-narcotics policeman with high risks and heavy tasks. He spends less time with his family and leaves more. Even so, the wish for reunion is shared by the whole world.Every time before he goes to work and leaves home, he will receive hugs from a pair of children, and an apple stuffed into his palm with his wife. If there is no accident, it will be the same for many years.

Apple, Pingguo, I hope that those who left home will return safely and reunite again.

……

Because of this, Apple, for the Zheng family, is not only a regular visitor on the fruit plate, but also a prayer for the safe reunion of the family of four.

God fails to fulfill one's wish...

After Zheng's father passed away, Apple was also quietly classified as a taboo.In the Zheng family, there is no such kind of shit fruit that carries the sustenance of many people, but is actually useless.

The big guys in the small group have all seen how Zheng Yang, who has never been picky eaters, avoided apples.

What does she mean by mentioning the apple at this time?Yun Yi turned his head and stared at the person on the hospital bed who had returned to silence.Did she simply want to dismiss them and speak for Jin Yan, or did she casually mention Apple because in her heart, Jin Yan was as important as her father and her family?

The moment Jin Yan's words fell to the ground, her emotions also collapsed, but they turned their heads in twos, and no one noticed the shock, guilt and embarrassment in her eyes.

"Second sister, please." There was no sound in her ears, no sound of leaving, she knew they were still there.

Zheng Yang's cheeks were tense. Putting it in the past, one can imagine her appearance at this time - her eyes are firm and her expression is solemn. Cheng Xin silently thinks about her radiant eyes in the past, and her nasal cavity is sore.

As soon as Zheng Yang uttered the word "apple", the three people beside him were silent, and no one answered for a moment.

The person who spoke recklessly realized later, pursed her lips and remained silent, reflecting on herself, why did she suddenly mention that... perhaps subconscious fear, selfishness born of fear... So she once again used family affection and caring Zheng Yang lowered his head and clenched the bed sheet tightly with the sincerity delivered by her person, feeling annoyed and remorseful.

"Let's go now." Cheng Xin's soft voice fell below the deep voice, she held Yun Yi's wrist, and said unquestionably, "Let's go."

Yun Yi compromised on this, looked away, brushed past the "uninvited guest", and warned the guy who was still calm and calm with his outstretched eyes.

·

The pattering noises were kept out of the window, and the never-fading disinfectant in the hospital was closely related to the humid air, and the smell was much diluted.

The door kindly closed.The rigid space accommodates their long-lost relationship.

Jin Yan took a step forward, so close that he was two steps away from the side of the bed, and looked down at her not far or near.

The last time they got together in private was also here.It was the second day Zheng Yang was hospitalized. In the middle of the night, Jin Yan avoided everyone, and came to see her by accident;

The last time, it was Zheng Yang who was sent to the hospital from Jin's house, and Jin Yan took the others away and carefully prescribed medicine for her—the bruises and bloody wounds on her body were the result of Jin Yan's treatment of Zheng Yang the night before. When the Jin family was in a coma, they took her back to her bedroom and checked her carefully one by one.After reading it over and over three or five times, she was able to analyze and copy it in her mind with the so-called professionalism;

Also, for the first time before, in the basement of Jin's house, Zheng Yang was restrained in a dark corner struggling and enduring, and burst into surprise the moment she arrived.

Five times.

After Jin Yan came back for so many days, he only saw her five times alone, and the accumulated time was pitifully small.

Jin Yan was able to recite her injury in a straight-forward manner, and analyze her fighting experience, but so what?Zheng Yang is not a patient, not a victim, but a lover whom Jin Yan once put on top of her heart even more than her relatives!

Jin Yan stared silently in the direction of the hospital bed, the tears in his eyes fell silently with the blinking of his eyelids.How heartless she is, she doesn't see or listen and let her be like this!

Clenching the teeth tightly, the pain overflowed silently...

She wanted to hug her very much, and asked her if her abdomen hurts, whether her arms were itchy, whether her headache would be better?

But Jin Yan didn't dare to go any further, she even felt that if she got closer to her, her defenses would be thawed... If she didn't be tough to the end, she wouldn't be able to escape the well-prepared ending of emotional disintegration.

The fingers trembled slightly, and the crisp sound finally reminded her of her intention to come here—after all, Zheng Yang and the others didn’t know that she had discovered some of the secrets, so Jin Yan decided to keep pretending until, sending her into the operating room, until, waiting for her Discharged in good health.

Maybe at that time, she will forget her, forget the past love, love and hatred... Jin Yan raised his head and smiled brightly at the faintly flickering light. In that case, Zheng Yang would be able to get rid of these heavy and peaceful lives.

In that case, she will forget that she once loved a ruthless woman so innocently and foolishly, and in the future, she will exchange a clear and warm heart for someone to love and love...

The heartbeat throbbed with throbbing pain, and the paper in his hand fell to the ground unknowingly. The standing person hung his head sadly, clutching the hem of his shirt and sticking there stiffly, dripping crystals on his toes, melting into the warm cloth.

You should be happy for her, shouldn't you? In order to balance family and love, she had to compromise to this day. How can you, a cruel and ruthless executioner, deserve to moan and pretend to be pitiful in front of her?Jin Yan clenched his lower lip, and raised his head to force the disappointing sadness back into his heart.

Zheng Yang sat there stiffly, waiting with bated breath, and unknowingly, he took the single sheet into his palm, and heard nothing but the approaching steps and lonely fluttering just now... Those who could not receive the message were at a loss Panicked, he turned around and fell to the ground with his hands on the bed.

"Don't move!" Jin Yan hurriedly yelled at her when he heard the sound.

The person on the bed really stopped moving, followed the sound, turned his face to face her, and pricked up his ears to listen for the movement on the other side.

Feeling flustered and overwhelmed by sensitivity, Zheng Yang didn't hear the vibrato in the scolding, and raised his head to face the person, habitually covering up his true emotions, pretending to be calm and asking back: "What do you want to tell me?"

Jin Yan covered his mouth, calmed down his nasal sound, bent down and put the paper back in his palm, spread it out, shaking it to make it make a crisp sound, "Before... my dad gave you a card, right?"

That card was a congratulatory gift from Jin Tian at their engagement banquet a year ago. The so-called "before" was also at the time of engagement.Zheng Yang remembered all these things, and she still remembered that Jin's father made a public promise at the banquet that at their wedding, the shares would be divided equally between Jin Yan and his brother, and that she would be chosen as the company's successor.

"Yes." Zheng Yang lowered his head, unable to hide his disappointment. He didn't need to think about it to know what Jin Yan meant by mentioning that card at this time.

"I promise to keep your salary card, which is your personal income from working in Jin's." Jin Yan took a deep breath, trying to keep his tone steady, "Since we are over... that card, don't you Do you still want to hide it for yourself?" Seeing her raising her head and hesitating to speak, and seeing her pale lips trembling uncontrollably, Jin Yan added another shot, "Your brother said you forgot your surname... Could it be that this little money is for the sake of it?" Jin Yan approached a little closer, his deliberately squeezed voice was deep and cold: "Or, for the sake of you going to make me happy, I'll make an extra payment For you, count it as a breakup fee?"

The trembling right arm reached the side railing of the bed, and the girl in hospital gown arched her back and approached the source of the sound. The voice was as cool as the night and more ethereal than the rain and mist, "I don't want your money, can you, please, put that card Leave it to me?"

Originally, he knew what she meant, but when he heard her say it, the brows were loosened, and before the relief and ecstasy surfaced, sourness and regret filled his heart.Jin Yan has seen too many people in the hospital these days showing their unknown side, such as being weak like Du Qing's tough outburst, being gentle like Cheng Xin's resolute determination, and being aloof like the person in front of him who is extremely humble and letting go. low profile.

Before Jin Yan knew the truth, he imagined forcing Zheng Yang to take off his disguise, seeing Zheng Yang give up his dignity and humility, apologize and beg her for forgiveness, imagining how happy it would be at that time...

Now it seems that she was wrong. Seeing Zheng Yang humiliating in such a strange and distant way, it was like throwing her heart on the ground and trampling it hard, waiting indifferently for it to break down when it couldn't bear it, falling into dust and crushed into mud.

I know the pain in it.

Wiping off the faint smell of rust on his lips, Jin Yan insisted on maintaining his indifference, "Why do you keep my card? It's because we treat you so well that you can't bear it?" That card was specially printed, and the card is exactly On the reverse side, there are pictures of them after graduation and when they were in school.

Jin Yan knew what she was going to say from the moment she uttered it. Fortunately, seeing that she was still humble and obedient, her heart was only filled with sourness, and she didn't feel any pain.

The voice from the hospital bed was light and ethereal, and the tone was still forced to be calm: "I want to keep it as a souvenir, can I?"

"To commemorate what?" Jin Yan sneered, "To commemorate this bad relationship? Or do you want to mock me for being blind and falling in love with a betrayer by mistake?" Jin Yan said this very quickly, because she was also annoyed, annoyed by Zheng Yang Endless silence, anger at Zheng Yang's self-righteousness and self-assertion, even more hatred, hate that Zheng Yang never thought of discussing with her, hating and hating, and a layer of bitterness in her heart, perhaps in Zheng Yang's view, she Yan is not someone who can be entrusted wholeheartedly.

Zheng Yang would rather bear the suspicion and alienation of the two parties, bear heavy burdens and endure the dangerous days of not seeing light, being injured and dying at every turn, rather trying to calculate with his head, trying to build a balance between family affection and love, even if he is not a human being inside and outside in the end, Everything has failed...

Zheng Yang has done so much because he loves her, but also because he doesn't believe her.

With such an affectionate and cold lover, should Jin Yan cry or laugh?What is love without trust, is it charity?

She Jin Yan can do without anything, so what if she dies alone?She doesn't want to give up her self-esteem and have no spine to beg others for alms and reciprocal love, even if that person is her love, she will never do it.

Jin Yan made up his mind, and said coldly: "Except for this request, you can mention it casually."

Zheng Yang lowered his head, silently compromising.

"The card belongs to your name. Sign the paper. After the card is cancelled, we will not owe you any more." Jin Yan threw the paper in front of her.

The stiff arm finally moved.After a while, I fumbled for the paper and turned to the side to search.

Jin Yan, who turned his head to the side, took a glance, and finally knew what she was looking for, "Wait for me to get the pen." He left and went out.

Jin Yan went to the nurse's desk to borrow a ballpoint pen and returned quickly. Seeing that she was still the only one in the ward, he breathed a sigh of relief, stood where he was, and threw the pen onto the paper, "Let's sign."

Picking up the pen, flattening the paper, pressing the lower right corner of it with his elbow, rubbing the place next to his hand nervously, raising his head blankly, and smiling blankly, "Can you point it to me? Where do I need to sign?"

His blood was getting colder, and he turned around, relying on indifference to hold on, "You can do whatever you want... just explain to the bank at that time... and no one will embarrass the blind."

Pressing down on the cap of the pen, he paused, stretched out his thumb and groped for the edge of the paper, moved it inwards, paused for a while, tensed his cheeks and wrote carefully.

Jin Yan turned around and closed his eyes, but the rustling sound entered his mind and could not be dispelled.

The sluggish mind numbly played back three words: it's over.

Jin Yan withdrew the pen and paper from Zheng Yang's hand, lowered his head, and glanced at the signature that still had a bit of her old pen, and pulled the corners of his mouth with a half-smile. After turning around, he was pulled by the small wound on his lips, The limbs are stiff, the blood is cold and numb, but they don't know the heartache.

She didn't dare to stay in that scorching place any longer, holding a pen and paper, stepping on nothingness, holding on to the handrails and stumbling all the way.

I don't know why, but the more I walk, the more relaxed I am, my eyes are closed, my heartbeat is steady, and I don't feel any pain.

Maybe it's because the heart is cold, maybe it's because the heart and soul have been separated from the body and guarded in a corner of someone else for which it is willing to beat.

Jin Yan leaned on the armrest, stared up at the silent but bright light, stepped out a few steps, surrounded by bone-piercing ice cold, in a daze, his feet went limp, and the bright white in front of his eyes finally refracted wildly in his closed eyelids The streamer came out, and in an instant, the bright color suddenly pulled away, and she fell to the ground leaning against the handrail.

Before his consciousness wandered, he heard someone calling her, it wasn't "Xiao Qi" but "Jin Yan", so it must be her this time, right?The grievances are over, she is finally willing to sleep... Jin Yan bent his lips expectantly.

·

The moment she saw someone collapsed, she let go of her hands and hurried over. Regardless of Guolan's embarrassment and overturning, Cheng Xin rushed to the fainted person and helped her up.Yun Yi, who followed, noticed the contents of the rolled paper under his feet, as well as the signature at the end...

After thinking about it, he concealed his surprise.Yun Yi kept this matter a secret.She didn't say anything, and at the same time, she couldn't help her mood change, and the intertwined ice and fire in her heart tended to ease.

Cheng Xin's face turned pale from fright, and her complicated heart was lifted up for the unconscious man, and she hurriedly called the nurse, and helped Jin Yan, who had fainted, to the nearest ward...

Lin Bo rushed over after receiving the news.

The two who came back separated for the time being, Cheng Xin stayed at Jin Yan's place to wait for the result, and Yun Yi went back to the ward first.

Yun Yi went back to look for Zheng Yang alone, his heart was agitated, but after entering the door, he was so shocked that he couldn't speak——

On the hospital bed, the quilt was rolled into a ball, and it strictly took on the heavy responsibility of isolating a small world.

Under the quilt, faint whimpers or low sobs spilled out sporadically, together with the sound of rain, it sounded like the low wailing of a wounded cub suffering from hunger and pain alone in an extremely cold day.

Distraught for a moment, Yun Yi sat in front of the hospital bed, put his hands on the puffed quilt, and tried to feel her pain and suffering.

The author has something to say: abuse it, abuse it, it will come soon, I am confident to finish the next part today! (I'm not saying that this chapter was written a few days ago,,,) If there are too many words, I will develop it separately~ I hope you will forgive me