But for you, lovesickness

"Yang...", "I'm sorry..."

Countless murmurs scattered in all directions, flustered in the pale sunlight, not knowing where to go.

The man stood guard in front of the hospital bed, holding the hands hanging by the bed firmly in his palms, his red eyes fixed on the face of the person on the bed.

The person with closed eyes and non-stop babbling is Jin Yan.

Since that night, she suffered from cold in the rain and caused high fever intermittently. Three days passed in a blink of an eye. Since coming here in the rain all night, Jin Chuan has never left this ward, and even rarely left her side.

Most of the scattered ramblings are other people and things, and the people who accompany me take good care of them without boredom or dissatisfaction.

He talked with her and kept her asleep. He was sure that it would not be long before she woke up.

He has made all the preparations...

Resigned from the company, holding shares belonging to the Jin family and hurriedly quit;

Learned the little-known secrets of the case from Dalong, and rectified the name of "Shao Sen" among his brothers. Like Jin Yan, he put away his grievances, was considerate and grateful;

He paid the hospitalization expenses of the Zheng family siblings, and cleared up his relationship with the gangster;

Set up a group of brothers and the housekeeper and cook at home;

Even bought a plane ticket to fly to the United States.

From now on, he will keep his promise to accompany her no matter where she goes.

Right now, he just needs to settle down and wait for her to wake up.

Wait for her to wake up, wait for her to let go, and we will be together.

……

As the sun sets, little orange light is reflected on the window glass, the silent consciousness returns, and the sleepy people slowly wake up.

"Sister?" Jin Chuan put down the escort chair, stepped closer, half-kneeled to the side of the hospital bed, and squeezed the palm of his slender hand against it, showing a smile, "Are you awake?"

Curved fingers rubbed against his palm, his indifferent eyes were dyed with a bright light, and his smile was shallow.

"I'm going to find my cousin!" Jin Chuan eagerly got up to leave, and when he rounded the corner out of her sight, he turned his head suddenly, "Don't sleep, wait for me."

The person trapped in the hospital bed stretched his brows and eyes, and responded gently.

……

After sticking to Lin Bo, asking him to check carefully again and again, and getting his approval over and over again, Jin Chuan felt at ease.

The reassuring young master Jin was about to chase away people with a big wave of his hand, but the people in Yu Guangli suddenly sat up.

"Wait." A delicate voice entered the lively conversation.

Jin Yan put his hand on the broad palm and called to the person who was about to turn around: "Cousin, has the operation started yet?"

Lin Bo settled his figure, lowered his eyebrows, "It started last night, and it ended in the morning."

The sense of loss came back densely, bending her back, making her unable to breathe... Jin Yan twitched the corners of his mouth, "Then she..."

"It's okay. The operation was a success." Lin Bo blustered, "Her brother picked her up."

The drooping head was dotted for a while, and there was silence.

"You can take care of it at ease, I'll bring you food when I go home."

"Cousin is working hard." Jin Chuan laughed, pushed her out, and when he returned, he saw her lying on the bed with her back facing him, curled up in the quilt as hard as she could, he returned his smile and rushed towards her, hugging her through the quilt.

The hilarity subsided, and in the room, for a while, there were only his flustered breathing and her low sobbing.

·

The figure sitting by the window is silent with the falling sunset.

The door was gently pushed open.The steps of letting go and stepping lightly will eventually cause Jing Jing to run around with her head in her arms.

The visitor walked to the window and sat beside her, his peripheral vision glanced and stopped on her wrist——

She is wearing a string of bracelets, and on the bracelets, water-white beads are shining brightly.

While stunned, he said in surprise, "This is not..."

The girl is silent, looking out of the floor-to-ceiling windows at the warm-colored things surrounded by the setting sun. In the distance, there are mountain roads like streamers and lush dense forests. She hangs her eyes and falls into her own garden. She used to like to sit by the window and wait. When she was a child Waiting for parents, during the past few years of vacation, the people waiting have changed, but the people waiting have not changed their minds.

Jin Chuan looked around, and everywhere in the room, except for the corner of the bed—the quiet corner where they sat side by side, the room was so neat and rigid from the inside to the outside, and it was not popular.

He knew that she never stayed in her room at night, because his bedroom was on the second floor, downstairs from the gymnasium, and every night before going to bed, he could see the shimmering light projected onto the lawn from above.

He tried to comfort her many times, using childhood anecdotes or family memories, using the warm light of her world when that person didn't appear, trying his best to awaken her touch.

She put away the edges and icicles, no longer rejecting people for thousands of miles, faintly like those years when she experienced family changes and grew up as a young girl.

She has never rejected his or their kindness, and to him or her family members, she laughed and laughed, turned around, nestled in her own world, silent like a cold spring and a deep pool, spreading out the wounds in her heart, all alone, facing each other sadly .

He exhausted his thoughts and tried his best to the end, but he couldn't illuminate her heart, so he was unwilling to believe that the world in her heart was no longer fully open to others before or after that person.

Or, as she put it, her heart was empty, and all that was beating now was the machinery that circulated the blood.

His mind was full of twists and turns, and he sat quietly with her for a while. He remembered the purpose of looking for her, lowered his voice, and said tenderly, "I booked a ticket, ours, to America."

She turned her head slowly and met his eyes, the obscurity in her eyes was gradually lit up.

Seeing that she was silent, he repeated it.

She had no joy at all, and smiled miserably, "What are you doing so far away?"

He was stunned, "It's almost the end of the month, aren't you going to start school?"

She straightened her head, and slowly tugged at the corners of her mouth under his anxious gaze, "I rejected the mentor's proposal." She closed her eyes, and a tear fell violently, "Before I come back."

With all kinds of emotions in my heart, the initial horror quickly transferred to understanding, and then there was helplessness, sigh and acquiescence.

Traveling across the ocean, thinking of the old friends on the other side, looking forward to reunion, and finally, walking on a fork in the road that is getting farther and farther away.

Love is not reliable, Jin Chuan sees through this as a bystander, his heart is as hard as iron, and he firmly treats her well.

"The tickets are all booked, and all the necessary preparations are ready, so you just take me to see the world?" Jin Chuan raised his hand to put her shoulder, slammed his chin into the hollow of her shoulder, and rubbed it lightly, "Oh? Miss returnee."

Jin Yan tilted his head, and according to the usual practice, reached out to touch his forehead with a slight smile in his eyes.

It's true that Jin Chuan was "besieged" in his hometown since he was a child, unlike her, who went abroad to study after college, and had people to accompany him to play all over the world during vacations.

Guilt and embarrassment filled the bottom of my heart.

She no longer has anyone to accompany her to play all over the world. In the future, she will revisit her brother's hometown, and she will pay for the guilt of neglecting Jin Chuan.

"Okay." She turned around and thought about it, and answered softly.

Only then did he smile comfortably, his stubbled chin viciously rubbed against her fine skin, causing her to push him away with a chuckle.

·

The brothers also came back, the two who were seriously injured were bedridden, and were taken care of by the housekeeper, and the others stepped up their training, each concealing a vicious energy.

Some words, Jin Yan indirectly learned from their eyes that occasionally caught a glimpse of shame.

There is no need to ask her doubts anymore, and what she owes to that person, I pray, can repay one or two with a lifetime of loneliness.

The atmosphere at home was like this, until the eve of parting, Jin Chuan called Dalong Ahsan and the others to stay in the study for hours of intense planning.

After dinner, half an hour later, the night was dark, and people gathered under the window to line up and go out for a run as usual.The people staring out of the window glanced down, the shimmering face reflected, who was missing, just a glance.

……

At night, the senses are always amplified inadvertently.

Especially alone.

The moon hangs high.Jin Yan turned his head to look, the moonlight pouring into the room could barely reach the corner of the bed by the window, his courage was exhausted and he stagnated.She lifted the corner of the quilt, lightly shook off the moonlight crawling on it, and hid in the double quilt dyed by the chill.

Since entering middle school, her room has been redecorated, and since then this big bed has been with her, more than ten years have passed.

Other than her, the people who have been lying on this bed include her deceased mother, or her lost lover.

After all, when she was alone, no one gave her a warm and tolerant embrace.

She moved to the center of the bed, hugged her knees and curled up, like a fish out of water, swallowing painfully, ended the struggle, and warmed herself.

·

Time is a good medicine, or water of forgetfulness.

Jin Yan felt something, such words must come from someone with experience.

This trip was not limited to the United States. At Jin Chuan's strong request, they traveled all over the American continent.

Galloping on the grasslands of the western United States, shouting...

Skiing on a Canadian snow mountain, with a strong wind blowing in my ears...

On a cruise ship in the Pacific Ocean, watch the white doves cruising across the sky. At night, lying on the deck, counting the shining stars of well-known or unknown stars...

On the way back to China, the footprints are all over land and water.

Full of the style of Southeast Asia, the two brothers and sisters each wrapped up their coats outside the summer dresses with sea-colored long skirts or short-sleeved shorts, returning to their homeland and the north where winter is gradually melting.

Ignoring the surprised eyes of passers-by, this young couple wore thin and out-of-season clothes, sneaking out to play as if they were very young, facing each other on the bus from a distance, talking and laughing warmly.

The car stopped steadily at the intersection, and Jin Yan casually cast his gaze out of the window.

After that, the bus made seven turns and eight turns, bravely striving to be the first in the busy city traffic, and opened up its own drifting streamline trend.

The winter street scene outside the window is what she remembers. Even though she has experienced severe winters in many places in foreign countries, this kind of dry coldness that is easily ignited by warmth is the most suitable for her.

The car started slowly and accelerated steadily, and the car was filled with warm chats from acquaintances.

Under the strong restraint of the sudden brake, the warm air in the carriage returned to zero.In the crowded positions, people who are close to each other apply force to each other and lean forward involuntarily.

The moment the car stopped, Jin Chuan squeezed over with his backpack, left the bag behind, and reached out to protect her.

Putting aside the momentary panic, Jin Yan raised his head and looked at him with a smile, "In a blink of an eye...he looks like an adult now."

Knowing that she remembered when he was sitting on the seat when she was a child, and she was holding on to the armrests of the front and rear seats, protecting him nervously, Jin Chuan wrinkled his nose childishly.

Jin Yan smiled lightly, pinched his nose, let go of the opportunity to tease him, and was limited to being surrounded by him, turning around and looking out the window with confidence.

He gave it a glance and smiled relievedly.

The traffic outside the window is dense and the road is wide, it seems to be on the main road.There are crowds of people on the opposite street, and the facades of the shops have been uniformly refurbished. They are tidy but lose their individuality. They are diagonally opposite to the gate of a certain community, and there is an endless stream of cars and people.

This is a street she is familiar with, across the street is her other home where she has lived for five years.

Her stupefaction didn't come from the overwhelming sense of familiarity, but because, as soon as her eyes fell, she was drawn by someone in the crowd on the street.

The man was wearing a winter black police uniform with fur tie epaulets, and held a dark blue hat under his arm. He was standing beside the electric tricycle, with his back to the road and talking to people.

The bus started slowly, and Jin Yan's gaze deviated backwards, including the man in black down jacket and leather hat opposite the man and the people passing by in turn, and looked back in disappointment.

The figure and temperament of that person are very similar to Zheng Yang, and she is serious when standing, especially when she wears the police uniform that she is proud of.

But she is not Zheng Yang, maybe it's just her figure...

With closed eyes, instead of saying this scene of expulsion, it brought back a deep memory related to a certain person.Jin Yan remembered that Zheng Yang always dressed his clothes meticulously, not only police uniforms, but even shirts, he would button up all the buttons from top to bottom, and the clothes were ironed in advance so that there were no wrinkles.

Not to mention, her love for her profession is genetically rooted in her blood.

It is absolutely impossible for her to casually put the hat in her arms while wearing a police uniform.

Nianxiang was out of control, and something seemed to be touched in the bottom of my heart, and the waves suddenly rose, and it was no longer smooth.

·

The winter sun is the most lovable.

In order to see it, people are willing to set foot outdoors even when everything in nature is in decline.

Even if wrapped into a group.

Right now, the girl wrapped up in a ball took the book and went out, sitting on the white swing in her garden, took off her gloves, opened the title page, and read carefully from the beginning.

The hand exposed to the sun almost immediately fell into the warmth of the other.

Someone sat down beside him, and his hand was brought to his mouth to let out a soft breath.

Jin Yan broke away from him, pinched his face, and let him hold it again.

Teasing the slender fingertips in the palm of his hand, Jin Chuan felt malicious, "It smells so good, it smells like watermelon."

Jin Yan glanced at him, seeing him smiling mischievously, raised his eyebrows at her, and bit his mouth immediately.

"Are you a dog?"

Jin Chuan narrowed his eyes with a smile, and rushed over to hug her.

The sound of carefree laughter seemed to float over from childhood.

……

After laughing for a while, Jin Chuan turned his back to her, leaning on her as usual, and asked her to stretch her legs and swing on the swing like a teenager.

Jin Chuan closed his eyes contentedly, and what lingered around him was still the strong and pure family affection he was most attached to.

The two siblings were laughing and laughing in the garden, facing the ugly fat snowman with two bamboo brooms and a sharp carrot nose on the other side of the garden.

I heard that it was a souvenir made by those brothers to celebrate the recovery of Xiao Tong and Ah Si.

The days like this are good now, looking for things to do at will, without external interference, and eliminating internal pressure, the family gets together and is at ease.

There is the finale of the Lantern Festival, and the year is not over yet.Right now, the house is empty for a while, but it's just a few good people who went out to buy vegetables with the chef, Aunt Chen, and "harmed" the market.

Jin Yan wanted to hide away at ease, and took advantage of Jin Chuan's exercise time to come out to bask in the sun, but he didn't expect to be unable to bear the careful instructions of the butler, Uncle, and put on a bunch of gloves and hats, and Jin Chuan caught up with him.

Tilting her head to look up at the sunny sky, she lowered her head again, her hands were empty, and a lazy cat leaned on her lap again, crossing her legs leisurely, and borrowed her book to hide from the sun on her face.

Laugh softly, kick your toes on the ground, close your eyes, relax, and imitate the happy mood of flying freely when you were a child.

……

Safe and comfortable, I squinted unconsciously.

When I woke up again, I was awakened by a steady voice: "I said, the two little ancestors, why did you go outside to sleep, go back to the house!"

Jin Yan rubbed his eyes and slowly opened them, seeing the butler Uncle shaking his head helplessly.

The butler greeted them, and at the same time went to close the courtyard door, as if he had just returned from outside.

When he turned around, Jin Yan saw something in his arms. Before she had time to ask curiously, she was "surprised" by the little villain in his arms.

Jin Chuan stretched, stretched out his hand and scratched her face along the way, got a good deal, and then sat up leisurely.

She glanced at him, held the book, and chased the housekeeper Uncle through the snow.

He shouted from behind, but there was no response, so he ran after him.

The footprints, as before, overlap into one on the residual snow.

·

A few days after that basking in the sun, the snow melted, and it was warm and cold again.

Jin Yan put his hands in his pockets, tightly wrapped, and went out for a walk.

In view of the fact that last night was late and the curtains in a certain little villain's room were still tirelessly on guard to block out the light, Jin Yan went out with confidence.

The outskirts of the city, away from the hustle and bustle, the mountains are high and the sky is wide, it is really a beautiful scenery leisurely outside the sky.

Walking along the mountain road to the top of the mountain, stepping on the remnant snow on the top of the mountain and blowing the wind comfortably, the cat glanced at the warm sun, estimated that it was almost noon, and returned home happily.

Before reaching the door of the house, the corners of the relaxed and twitching lips suddenly stopped.

Outside the door, I saw Uncle the housekeeper again. He received a bunch of bundled letters and had a few words with the man delivering the letters. When he turned around and saw her, his expression changed in shock.

Jin Yan stepped forward quickly, staring at the man who delivered the letter on an electric scooter, and after looking at him, he was sure that he was the postman she had met a few days ago and had talked with Zhong Xin.

The man nodded and drove away.

"Abbot." Jin Yan turned to look at the housekeeper and the pile of letters that he couldn't hide, and something in his heart broke out, "Who, who sent this? Who is it sent to?"

Uncle opened his mouth, his gray beard trembled, but he couldn't say anything.

Suddenly, Jin Yan was dazed, grabbed the letter package in his hand, and ran towards the house.

……

Jin Yan hid in her room and broke the rope impatiently. The letters were scattered under her feet. She squatted down and recognized the handwriting on the envelope.

Gritting his teeth and unable to control his trembling hands, he tore open the envelope, and the hand that penetrated into it tried a few times before taking out the card intact.

What lit up the pupil was a postcard from the Bund in Shanghai.

Can't wait to turn it over to see, on the back, a few words——

Prosperous world, but seek a place to return to.

Her name was written on the title, but it was not signed.

She hastily opened the other envelope to read... It said on it, "Chunxin will not let flowers compete with each other, every inch of lovesickness and every inch of ashes."

An inch of lovesickness, an inch of gray?The surge of surprises that emerged seemed to drown her.

So, she didn't forget her?The surprise has not faded away, she wiped away the tears, got up and went out.

When Jin Chuan pushed the door open, she was already there.Seeing her face full of joy, she looked at the messy place on the carpet, sighed, closed her eyes and looked at her, "Sister..."

Jin Yan stared at him, with a serious tone, "Get out of the way, I want to go out." From his expression, he also detected that he knew the truth, so he couldn't help guessing that Abo might have his instructions to hide it from her.

Jin Chuan also didn't like going around in circles, and said bluntly: "You have to find her." He stood in front of the door impartially, "I won't let you go."

Jin Yan squinted at him and sneered, "What's the reason? You already know, she doesn't owe our family anything, and she doesn't owe me anything. I'll go find her, what is my heart's desire, what's the matter?"

Jin Chuan gasped, angry from the heart, "But our mother and father are both!"

"You know what Dad did!" Jin Yan stared at him closely, eager to refute: "Mom is gone, and so is Uncle Zheng, and Dad will turn around one day in the future... The grievances of the previous generation have been entangled to this day, can't they be settled? ?!"

Jin Chuan tightened his face bitterly, "Yes, she finally let dad go, we won't mention this, but sister, you guys, it's impossible."

After hearing what he said, her face sank and her eyes immediately dimmed.

"Don't you want to know what she sent? I'll take you to see the previous one." Jin Chuan held her hand and pulled her out.

Stepping into the study, she was led to the desk, watched him forcefully open the drawer, and watched him pull out two cards from it.

One is the one with the group photo, and the other is the salary card that the person got from working in Jin's.

Completely return to Zhao.

"Do you understand what it means?" He looked down at her and forced the card to her, "Don't think about it, maybe those letters are just from the past."

There was a buzzing in her ears, and his persuasion was isolated. She lowered her head, staring at the two cards spread out in her palm in a daze.

This can be regarded as clearing the two.She clenched the card tightly with trembling hands, turned around, and tears burst between the intimate two people who had been frozen.

……

She locked herself in her room, closing off contact with the outside world.

It wasn't until night fell that she couldn't tell the appearance of the dependent young man on the card with tears in her eyes. She resigned to her fate and folded the card in half with both hands. This was repeated until the edges of the irregular fragments were as firm as a blade, and until there were strands of warmth leaking from the gap between her fingers. .

The girl curled up on the carpet at the end of the bed, laughing and laughing.

Was she broken up again?Even if Zheng Yang's memory is still there, are there still thousands of mountains and rivers between them, and an insurmountable Milky Way?

Even if it is, why is it always her, Jin Yan, who is sentenced?Even if, she was abandoned, she still had to hear someone say it herself... This is the pain.

Jin Yan's room was dark all night.The atmosphere at home, for this reason, fell into a long-lost downturn.

·

In the early morning of the second day, Jin Chuan put on a smiling face and invited people downstairs for dinner. When he entered, he was dumbfounded.

The windows are bright and clean, without clutter, but no one is there.

He closed his eyes in annoyance, it would be too late to chase at this time...

The author has something to say: Well, I haven't met again yet, I also admire how many times I have sent...

I guess, if the hasty reunion hastily ends, it will definitely not make up for the sour hearts of everyone who has been abused...

So can I make another part?Um, update the day after tomorrow.

If there is an update tomorrow, I will still be catching bugs, please forgive me~