But for you, lovesickness

But there was another person beside me, not long after school started.

She is cheerful and persistent inside, shy and independent outside.

At first I regarded her as my younger sister, a younger sister like Xiao Wu.

Afterwards, we didn't know if there was God's will in this world, and if we followed that sentence of God's will to tease people, our relationship developed a bizarre twist.

I'm sure I have a crush on her, when she confessed to me a few nights after we broke through the siege of gangsters together outside the school one night...

It was the midsummer night at the end of her sophomore year, and the twinkling lights in her eyes covered up the brilliance of the stars in the sky.

I looked at her in a trance...

·

We met by accident as early as the freshman military training. Thinking about the day we first met, embarrassing home.

It was a crisp autumn day, but for those of us freshmen who stood upright and stood in a military posture, the sun was "venomous" but it was hard to bear.

In the afternoon, after surviving the scorching heat and most of the time, the classmate next to me suddenly fainted due to exhaustion.

I accompanied her to the school infirmary, and when I heard that she had a special day, I felt both admiration and sigh...

I met Jin Yan when I returned from the supermarket and entered the complex building.

I really "touched" someone, and the necessities I bought for my classmates were scraped to the ground.

The girl was calm and generous, and she took the initiative to apologize to me as the perpetrator.

The corridor was long and quiet, and her suppressed forbearance sounded urgent and real.

I guess it was the same as that classmate Xia. I collected good things, looked at the stubborn girl, and said that I wanted to accompany her to the school infirmary, but was immediately rejected.

Just in a hurry... I went to the school doctor's office to say hello to my classmates, and then I went out to look for him, but the person had disappeared.

I flashed that face in front of my eyes, thinking that her condition was not much better than Xia Ling, so I wandered around the campus trying to find someone.

Just after training, I met my roommates on the "old road".

The people in the dormitory were divided into two groups, to take Xia Ling back and find the girl.

Maybe it's really fate between us, and I was the one who found someone first.

The pale girl sat on a bench by the path, bowed and pressed her abdomen, hiding her expression.

Walking in and seeing the bloodless face clearly, I think of my father who is seriously ill...

It is distressing and powerless.

The doctor can't change my father's death, and I can't change it, but the girl in front of me, I think I can help her, even if I just accompany her back.

Thankfully, I managed to convince her.

I accidentally touched her hand, holding the cold fingertips in my hand, as if time and space intersected, and the tactile sense was connected to the time when my 16-year-old mother took us to the hospital.

Fortunately, the girl must have been tired and caught a cold. Before she let go, the temperature was not so frightening, and I completely regained my senses in a trance.

The first day we meet, even if we recognize a familiar face.

I don't know her name or major, but I only know that she lives on the fifth floor of the same dormitory.

Seeing this, I was really in a hurry.

……

Before I met her, I didn't believe in fate, I believed in reason, but in the five years of university, we have different classes and different dormitories, and there are so many classmates in the same department, but she and I have known each other early and we have been together all the way...

If it weren't for destiny, where would all these things come from?

I believe it and appreciate it.

Jin Yan and I, along the way, from ordinary classmates to colleagues, became close sisters, sublimated into crazy lovers, in simple terms, we just met the right person at the right time.

Compared with the subsequent suffering and hardship, it is easy for Chuchu to grow into an infatuated lover...

·

That night in midsummer, when that silly girl held my fingertips timidly, and asked me firmly in a bright tone, have you ever been in love?Would you like to be her girlfriend?

Her eyes were radiant, and my heart sank into them, dazed in a daze.

She lowered her head and chuckled, rubbing her fingertips playfully against my palm.

A strange feeling hits me, I want to stop, but I don't want to let go.

——I haven't tried it, but I want to try it with you.

My brain was dizzy, and I forgot my own thinking. I responded to her in a strange way, and did the first reckless thing in my life.

Fortunately, she has enough charismatic highlights, holding my heart, not allowing me to retreat, and giving me enough centripetal force to rely on her...

I have never regretted agreeing to her, let alone being tempted by her.

Even after so many ups and downs...

This is holding hands again since the first meeting, but the meaning of touching is much deeper.

Driven by the atmosphere, the fingertips linger over the palm and penetrate into the finger crevices... Gradually, it gradually becomes the ten fingers clasped tightly between you and me.

More than that, she took my hand closer and stared at me.

When I saw her approaching, my anticipation and timidity went hand in hand.

She smiled, her eyes were shining brightly, she put her free hand around the back of my neck, put her forehead against mine, and stroked it carefully.

I feel her heartbeat, through the pulsation between her forehead and fingers that touch each other.

Feel the frequency of fit.

I hugged her, content with peace of mind.

The aftermath of the first hug is unromantic and funny—

We stood by the ginkgo tree and looked at each other in a daze, and there were voices of voices coming from the path next to it.

I froze there suddenly, not daring to move.

She teased me later to her sisters, saying I was scared like a hibernating tree.

A gentle and doting male voice passed by his ears, with intervals from time to time, it seemed that he was talking with someone.

The two of us leaned together, our faces flushed by his sweet whispers.

When the male voice went away, I slowly let go of my arms.The girl in front of me squeezed my other hand and asked, "Are you regretting it? Are you afraid?"

At that moment, with the moon covered by the bright clouds, I raised my eyes to meet the haze, subconsciously rebutted her: "No."

"Really?" The girl in front of her stuck it up again, with her foreheads touching and the bridge of her nose matching.

Her tone concealed a few small cunning, and I calmed down for a moment, and rubbed her forehead to comfort her just like she did just now.

She took a step back, and the moonlight returned to her face at that moment, reflecting a moving blush.

She turned her head and walked forward holding me tightly, refusing to turn back.

I like this feeling very much. I fixed my eyes on the girl who was walking one step ahead of me, and I expected her to be too with the corner of her mouth curled up.

Thinking about it now, the walks at that time were really like a campus on the road, as long as the road she walked on, the flowers and plants she brushed, they were all elegant and refreshing; the pace with her frequency, the occasional When they look at each other, they all smell sweet.

At that time, I was really carefree, or in other words, I was young and knew nothing about worries.

……

There are too many unique things in the world, for this reason, it is valuable to know each other and be close to each other.

Most of the second semester of the junior year slipped away, and one night the weekend dormitory talk was extremely lively, and it was rare for everyone to put aside their studies and training to relax freely due to the atmosphere of the weekend.The "programme" of our sleepover meeting will always have Xiaowu and Xiaoliu's bickering and comic dialogue. The sisters let the two little guys listen to their laughter and mediate at the right time.

It turned out to be like this, but after Jin Yan and I got together, an extra one was added to the normal program - to understand our progress.

The third sister is also keen on this topic.

I remember that night, after the fight between the two little guys was "suppressed", the third sister knocked on the bed board abruptly, and then they talked clichéd.

I hugged the quilt and smiled helplessly. The week passed quickly, and the progress of their inquiry was almost ahead of our "refresh".

The room was silent, and I knew they were all listening, so I answered bluntly: the same.

The usual way is to go to the library and visit the campus other than group activities such as class training and eating.

Zhong Xin laughed at me as nothing new.

Maybe I've stayed in eloquence for a long time, and I still know how to start a war against the generals: Xiao Liu, who did you express your new intentions to?

The topic turned around here, and I had time to listen to them "threatening" Zhong Xin.

Before ending the chat, the third sister asked me the last question: what do you like most about Xiao Qi?

I think it was because of the third sister's question that I was so impressed with this night.

I was silent for a while, trying to figure things out, and the atmosphere was solemn and quiet, as if returning to the recruitment scene in the library before, and the longer college entrance examination room...

I remember what I said at first: she's a nice person.I get on well with her.

Xiaowu insisted on me being specific.I replied: I haven't seen her thousands of appearances yet, and it's too one-sided to draw conclusions now.

……

We have known each other for nearly eight years, and I can only say that I have roughly understood Jin Yan's various poses until now.

Her pride after solving a problem, her hard work in reviewing or training, her seriousness and concentration at work, her cuteness when lying on the table for a nap, her considerateness and tenderness when taking care of me on special occasions, her playfulness or shyness when we are alone, and the little things that gradually appear as the days go by Willful and domineering, shy when being teased by sisters, calm when facing danger...

Also, what I admire most is her self-reliance.

Not only these positive ones, but I also saw her holding back her anger once...

At that time, the two of us hadn’t walked together. The seven of us went for a walk in the supermarket on weekend afternoons and met her younger brother who sneaked out to work part-time outside the school gate.

A quick-witted boy in overalls handing out flyers.

I heard Jin Yan said that he was as old as my younger brother, so I took a closer look.

Hard-working, quick-witted, quick-responsive, good-looking, thick eyebrows and big eyes, a bit like his sister... just because of his part-time job during the summer vacation, how much do I treat him, Jin Yan, and the family behind them Very curious and affectionate.

Although these feelings passed in a flash at that time, I never thought that my life would be closely connected with her family and relatives other than Jin Yan in the future.

We get along very well, the girl has a delicate personality, when we get along, sometimes we are partners, sometimes we are relatives, and sometimes our hearts throb...

The people around us are only known by our respective roommates, and they either accept harmoniously or remain neutral. By the end of our senior year, our campus love period has not gone through ups and downs...

The beginning of the senior year, related to our relationship, there was an episode——

The new course started, and I finally met the person who specialized in regulation for me.

He was my senior class teacher and my father's college classmate.The senior took care of me, chose me as a class representative, and reminded me several times in private in his office of the special nature of police work and the importance of personal image.

I didn't understand the deep meaning of the teacher's words, so I asked bluntly the next time.

He didn't go around in circles any more, and just said that he wanted me to separate from her.

This is exactly what he said, without specifying the "she", but I understand, looking at his stern face, I think he also knows it in his heart.

I was at his desk, thinking about it for a while with lowered eyes, not out of timidity, but out of curiosity, as my father's old friend, why did he resist so much?

I can't figure out why, but I think about it, maybe a person from a police background has a sense of mission and responsibility above all, and I have expectations for the younger generation of my old friend.

I expressed my position tactfully, and promised to pay attention to public influence and not affect the work, so as to try to dispel his worries.

My teacher did not give up his plan because of my stubbornness. On the eve of graduation, he had a serious talk with me again. This time, he told me everything he knew.

At that time, after falling in love with Jin Yan for three years, I didn't know my father's official business secrets and the good intentions of my mentor.

I skipped the training session for the day and hid in the secluded woods on campus.

Perhaps at this time, I can be more rational in facing that state of mind, but I can still understand the hesitation and depression at that time.

Can understand, can't relieve...

At that time, for me, the sky was falling.

Later, when it was dark, the shadows in the woods gathered together, and a narrow light picked me out of the chaos.

It was Jin Yan who found me.I can imagine how they looked for me in different ways, just like I was anxious to find her the day we first met.

I stood up from under the tree, walked around her, didn't answer her question, and didn't look at her much.

She followed me half a step behind me, asked me a few words, and got a unanimous silence before saying anything.

At that time, I thought, the so-called oolong encounter between the two of us, which is like witnessing a fate, was ridiculously boring compared to the blood feud of our parents.

Fortunately, she didn't ask any more questions, otherwise, I would definitely be unable to restrain myself from telling her what I thought suddenly, and end the relationship that I don't know whether it should be regarded as a sinful relationship or a strange relationship.

I ran back to the dormitory, hid in the bathroom, and was bored in the corner, so aggrieved that I wanted to cry.

Obviously I get along with her comfortably and comfortably, obviously we have a lot in common, obviously we have taken such a long road to university, and obviously I still have a lot of imaginary life plans that I planned to complete with her that have not been realized...

Obviously we like each other and are attached to each other...

But what are those?They are all empty, and they don't hold the slightest weight in front of the grievances of the parents.

The feelings we guarded so carefully, just go to waste like this?

My reason tells me that this is the right choice, and when I break it, I will break it... She must be still outside the door, I should go out immediately, tell her directly that I have flinched, and let it go.

But why is there a tingling pain in my heart?

I bit the back of my hand and shrank in place, shaking my head unwillingly to avoid it.

At this time Yun Yi broke into the door, was stunned, said nothing, and rushed over to hug me.

The weakness surging in my heart was torn open, and the pain and depression in my heart surged outward. I hugged her back and let go of my voice to cry.

"Third Sister...why, I can't love her anymore?"

She coaxed me patiently, and when I calmed down, she told the story of her and her first love.

"Do you remember the string of wind chimes?"

I nod.It is always her precious thing, it is not enough to hang it by the desk, she has to touch it every day, and be dazed by it.

"I sent it back, along with other things he sent me."

I know the string of wind chimes. When I first came to university, I helped my third sister untie the knot on it, "That's not you..."

"We're done."

Her words were very cold. From such a close distance, I could clearly hear the powerlessness in her words.

"why?"

"He went back to his hometown to go to school, and he will stay there to work in the future. His family can't accept my job. They think the police don't have fixed hours, so they stay up all day and night... My parents can't accept him to go out of town..."

She changed the subject and talked about me: "So, Yang Yang, marriage is a matter between two families... But falling in love is just to find someone who is compatible with you and enjoy your youth. So why are you hesitating? You didn't When it comes to getting married, you don't need to keep so much in your heart, love is just a matter between the two of you, you like her, and she cares about you, isn't that enough?"

I suppressed my crying, my atrium was beating and trembling with hot blood.

"Even if in the end, you fall in love with each other and try your best to not be together, there is nothing to regret... It is not easy to meet someone who is valued by each other and will eventually get married..."

I froze there, and the backlog of depression was slowly revealed.

"She's still waiting for you..." The third sister pulled me up and pushed me out, "Have you thought about how to explain it?" Seeing that I lowered my head and said nothing, she continued, "Just say it's because of your family. , has nothing to do with her, apologize sincerely, send her back to coax her, and then come back, understand?"

"..." I nodded.

I opened the door, and Jin Yan was standing by the door against the wall.

She saw the light, looked up, and stepped closer to me.

The corners of her eyes were red, which made me want to cry.

My reason was not ready yet, she came up and hugged me.

What she said next made my heart ache. I don't know if it's because I couldn't calm down. This kind of pain is not much different from the labor pain just now.

"Even if you really don't want me anymore, please tell me the reason?"

"I like you, I don't want to end in a vague way..."

I just nod.

……

On the eve of graduation, those around me could see that I was in a trance and was always in a trance.

Fortunately, the graduation matters were ready at that time, and there were no other important things to worry about. I thought about the future all night and night, blaming the lack of sleep during the day for my lack of sleep, and at night, I continued...

These days are irritating and distressing, but the feeling is indeed much better than the previous heartache.

During that time, I thought about many possibilities and outcomes of our future, but in the end, there was only one viable idea left.

We can't abandon everything selfishly and leave, so we can only stay... and staying, we are destined to face the series of past entanglements, if we don't deal with it properly, it will be an eternal thorn in the hearts of the two families.

How to solve it...how to find a balance within the allowable range of the two parties, and how to persuade each to retreat?

Selfishly, it is absolutely hard for me to accept the mastermind behind the premeditated murder of my father.If it's just me, it doesn't matter if I spend it with him regardless of the cost.

But it is true that he is Jin Yan Jin Chuan's father.Jin Yan's mother died because of my father's mistakes. If something happened to Jin Tian, ​​what would happen to their siblings, and who would they rely on?In that kind of position, he is all prosperous and the other is damaged. Once his rights are backlashed, their siblings don't even have basic protection...

If the tree falls and the monkeys scatter, he cannot fall.

I made up my mind that since I want to go this way, the future is either black or white.

Before starting, you must be fully prepared, risk assessment, action plan, plan preparation and result prediction must be fully considered...

At this point, I vaguely have an idea, but the shortcut to go deep into the tiger's den is inevitably to use her—to use her relationship, go deep into her family, go to her father, look for opportunities to collect evidence...

Just, Yanyan, what would you think if you knew this?

Please don't hate me.

The author has something to say: Is it okay for No.1 to recall this?

#ask for comments, welcome to leave a message#

·If you want to continue to read the conspiracy part of No.1, please click 1;

·If you want to read other memories, please click 2 for the sweet ones; please click 3 for the sad ones;

·If you want to see the sweet daily life following the ending, please press 4.

· Or if you have specific ideas, please indicate~

Ignore me and I'll go on strike! ╭(╯^╰)╮These two days have been so diligent and no one has come out to chat, really, friends, can you still do it?