Jujube

I went to school early, and other people in Baiquedang didn't go to elementary school until they were seven or eight years old. I started school when I was five years old.

When I was in the second year of junior high school, my friend Zhang Buyu had entered puberty, and a subtle fantasy and desire was active in his body.At that time, the game hall by the suspension bridge was closed, and several slot machines were loaded onto pickup trucks. Soon after, the game hall became an Internet cafe.

Several of my classmates often sneaked into Internet cafes, and Zhang Buyu was one of them.I asked him if the Internet cafe was fun, Zhang Buyu showed a secret smile on his face, he looked at me for a while, then raised the corner of his mouth and said: "You will know when you go."

After school, I followed Zhang Buyu into the Internet cafe for the first time. Zhang Buyu was already familiar with the place. He led me into a corner near the wall and turned on a machine.

"Xiao Lizi, let me show you something good." The screen lit up with a bright blue light, Zhang Buyu typed on the keyboard for a while, and suddenly said mysteriously, "Here we come."

I followed Zhang Buyu's gaze and was deeply shocked by the picture in front of me.I felt as if something in my body was shaken away, and the dust, cigarettes, and chassis smell in the Internet cafe mixed into a strange smell, which became stronger at this moment.

Zhang Buyu asked me how I was doing excitedly.

I can't describe the strange feeling, so I just shook my head at him.

Zhang Buyu was a little surprised, he stared at me with a brand new look, and said, "I didn't expect that, little Lizi, you really impress me."

I was still immersed in an inexplicable fear and tension, restless, and didn't understand what Zhang Buyu meant.My friend Zhang Buyu looked even more fidgety than me. His eyes were wide open, staring at the screen without blinking, but his hands and feet were shaking uncomfortably.

I asked, "Zhang Buyu, what's wrong with you?"

Zhang Buyu stared at me hesitantly, his face flushed rapidly, he faltered for a while, and was about to say something, when a person in front of him suddenly turned around and tapped with his hands on the computer.

Zhang Buyu raised his head in a panic, his face turned from red to white quickly, I followed him to look over, and suddenly my chest was suffocated.I saw Pan Guizhi whom I hadn't seen for a long time.

"Hey, two little brothers, what good things are you secretly looking at, and show it to your brother?" Pan Guizhi tilted his head, and he had already seen Zhang Buyu's screen, and the corners of his mouth curled up instantly.

Pan Guizhi disappeared for a while after graduating from junior high school. I heard that he was sent to a technical school in other places, and now he suddenly came back for some reason.Pan Guizhi was more difficult to mess with than his dog. Zhang Buyu was terrified, and hurriedly pulled me, and we both fled under Pan Guizhi's interested gaze.

"Too bad, we were discovered by Pan Guizhi, and he caught us!" Zhang Buyu said with a pale face.

I froze.Will Pan Guizhi tell my brother?Although Zhang Buyu said it was a "good thing", but out of a certain instinct, I instinctively didn't want my brother to know.

"No, he must have seen it himself, why should he expose us..." After a while, Zhang Buyu seemed to have figured it out, and repeated to himself, "No, definitely not. "

Every time he said "No", my heart beat against my chest, and the hot chassis smell in the small Internet cafe lingered in my mind like a ghost. When I got home, I was flustered and couldn't Dare to face my brother.

My brother and I have a second-hand computer in our room. Lu Xinyao bought it the year he graduated. He often turns on that computer at night and doesn’t turn it off until very late.I couldn't fall asleep listening to the clicking sound, and when I closed my eyes, I thought of the Internet cafe, so I kept my eyelids open and stared at my brother's back until he found out.

Lu Xinyao met my gaze, half of his profile turned blue, and said to me with a slight warning: "Still sleeping?"

I avoided his gaze and moved my eyes to the bed. After a while, I heard the sound of the computer shutting down. Lu Xinyao stood up and walked to the bed.I suddenly had an urge to confess, and called him "Brother".

In the silence, Lu Xinyao stopped in his footsteps.

But I immediately regretted it.I didn't dare to tell the whole story, and tentatively said: "Brother, I, in our class...many people secretly go to the Internet cafe after class."

My brother said "hmm" and waited for me to continue.

"They asked me to go too...Brother, can I go?"

"What do you think?" Lu Xinyao didn't answer, but there was only one answer.

I lied to my brother, I said, "I'm not going."

After turning off the light, the room was pitch black, I couldn't see my brother's face clearly, and I knew my brother couldn't see me clearly, but I still closed my eyes with a guilty conscience.

My grandmother said that there is a god standing three feet above the head, and that people are doing it, and the sky is watching, but she didn't tell me what would happen if I lied to the god.It was Pan Guizhi who told me.

The second time I met Pan Guizhi was by the suspension bridge.He leaned on the stone pier to urinate under the bridge, held a cigarette between his fingers that had been practiced with Jiuyin white bone claws, and stared at me with a smile while puffing.

"Brother, come here."

Pan Guizhi was one year older than Lu Xinyao, and he seemed to be a different person than when he left Baiquedang. A circle of stubble appeared on his chin, and there was a kind of sophisticated cunning in his eyes.

I turned around and ran away. Pan Guizhi quickly grabbed my schoolbag from behind and pulled me back.He put his arms on my shoulder affectionately, put his mouth close to my ear and said, "Brother, are you afraid of me?"

Pan Guizhi breathed smoke on my neck, I avoided him in a panic, but he laughed, and then said, "What are you afraid of? My brother won't hit you..."

"You're not my brother." I said.

"Oh, what about your brother Lu Xinyao? He is fiercer than me. Are you afraid of him—not to mention, I almost forgot that your brother beat me," Pan Guizhi's voice stopped abruptly, but his face remained the same. With a smiling face, he took a puff of a cigarette and continued, "But brother, you and I are still good friends, brother will take you to play."

"I won't go." I refused him.

Pan Guizhi clamped my shoulder with one hand without a cigarette, and told me: "Did you not hear clearly? My brother said he would take you to play, but he didn't ask if you would go."

I promised my brother that I wouldn't go to an internet cafe, and I've been lying since the beginning, and now I'm breaking my promise.Pan Guizhi twisted my shoulders and led me into the Internet cafe. The first enlightenment of my adolescence took place in that small, stuffy Internet cafe full of computer boxes and cigarette smells.

Pan Guizhi obviously knew more than Zhang Buyu. He pressed the back of my head and pushed me in front of the screen, asking, "Did you see it clearly?"

He didn't let go until my forehead was pressed against the screen, and then asked, "Is this girl pretty?"

I shook my head.

"...That's true." Pan Guizhi thought for a while, then suddenly smiled with his mouth crooked, "Compared to Mei Qingqing, that's far behind."

"I don't know Mei Qingqing." I said.

"Mei Qingqing..." Pan Guizhi put out his cigarette as he spoke, touched his trouser waist with his free hand, and said while unbuttoning it, "Go back and ask Lu Xinyao whose ass was in his mind when he spanked."

I asked, "Why does my brother want someone else's ass?"

"Then what should you be thinking about?" Pan Guizhi looked at me with a smile, "Oh my silly brother, don't you understand? What's the fun in just playing? You can think about whatever you like."

I shook my head at him: "My brother doesn't like Mei Qingqing, let alone her ass."

Pan Guizhi sneered disdainfully, and then unzipped a short length of zipper in front of me.I don't know why, but I suddenly felt a burst of flustered curiosity, as if some unknown secret had burst open in front of me, and I couldn't help but ask, "What are you doing?"

"What are you doing?" Pan Guizhi was amused, and then told me, "Practice Jiuyin White Bone Claw."

I heard a distorted sigh from his throat. After a while, Pan Guizhi narrowed his eyes and said to me, "Brother, do you want me to teach you?" I shook my head quickly, and Pan Guizhi smiled mockingly. He took out a new cigarette and slowly put it in his mouth.

"It would be great if you were a woman." Pan Guizhi stared at me for a while, as if he was very sorry, then he patted my face and ordered, "Give it to brother."

Fear will deepen people's memory of things. At that time, I didn't know that Pan Guizhi's sigh-like sentence would later become my unrealistic delusion and a handful of consolation in my distorted spirit.

I entered the Internet cafe for the second time, and I still kept it from Lu Xinyao.That sultry chassis-smelling ghost entangled me again. It waved its nine-yin white bone claws and sneaked into my bed.

That night, I dreamed about my brother.