Jujube

Lu Xinyao got drunk at a banquet with people in the factory.

My brother is the head of the family at home, but the head of the family has to pretend to be a grandson outside. Xiao Wu, who came back with Lu Xinyao, cursed at their leader. He didn't call the leader by his name, but "dog force" .He said that old dog has been showing off.

Xiao Wu scolded very vigorously, and his voice could still be heard when he was far away. There was an exciting power in that voice, as if he had let out a bad breath.But Lu Xinyao didn't scold. It's not that he doesn't know how to swear, but he is full of contempt for this way of venting.In my brother's eyes, the sound of scolding is similar to that of a dying animal when it is slaughtered in a slaughterhouse. Apart from being loud, it is of no use.

But I'm not my brother, I listened to Xiao Wu Yuanqu's scolding, and I also scolded countless old dogs in my heart.I don't know whether it was the alcohol or Xiao Wu's scolding that gave my brother a headache. When I closed the courtyard door and returned to the house, he was already lying down.

I dug out the piggy bank from under the bed, carried it to the bed, and made up my mind to say to my brother: "When I save enough money to leave Baiquedang, will you come with me?"

Lu Xinyao didn't respond. He lay on the bed rubbing his temples, as if thinking about something, without moving for a long time.

I thought he was asleep, but another instinct made me feel no.There must have been an unseen ghost in the house beckoning me, and I climbed over the non-existent ditch from my bed to my brother's.

As if to verify my intuition, my brother's eyelids slightly lifted a thin and narrow slit, and trembled almost unconsciously.

I lay on the edge of the bed and peeked, my heart hovering precariously.

This scene is lingering in front of my eyes, I can't explain why, I think of the lingering fingers, overlapping and tied into a button, the gaps are sticky with sweat... a lingering dead button.

My elder brother's eyes were half-opened, and he stared at me intently. His face was blown all the way by the cool wind, and now he turned rosy like a drink.Such an expression had never appeared on my brother's face before. His uncompromising boldness and assertiveness all disappeared in those half-opened and half-closed eyes, as if he didn't know what to do next.

But I suddenly knew.

Blindness is real, and it can happen to a chicken.

I was bewitched by his numb expression, and the moment I leaned myself close to my brother's lips, I realized that my lips were trembling just like my heart—I was trembling with my lips and my heartbeat, in the softness of my brother A sip on his lips.

When this action was completed, my brother's eyelashes trembled fiercely as if he was resurrected from the dead, and then a bitter smell of wine followed my brother to lick my lips, squeezed into my teeth, and wet my mouth Flowing on the tip of the tongue.I felt like my brother fed me a sip of wine, and then sucked my mouth in his mouth, sucking it up bit by bit.My soul trembled at his kiss.

My lips were so wet, yet I felt thirsty and asked my brother for a drink.

Wetting each other with foam means that when the spring water dries up, the fish that are about to die of thirst wet each other with their mouth foam.

My brother and I are not kissing, we are in love with each other.

My brother's hot palm pressed the back of my head, brushed my hair, and rubbed my ear, like a vivid dream.Only then did I realize that my brother also has desires, and this desire can fall on me.

But Lu Xinyao liked Mei Qingqing's butt, not his younger brother's.

When my elder brother pressed my back joint by joint, loosening every bone, and finally kneaded there, he seemed to have suddenly remembered this fact, and stopped abruptly.

After my brother stopped in disappointment, my eyes suddenly went dark, half of my face was covered by a quilt my brother pulled over.I couldn't see my brother, but I felt him staring at me. For a few seconds, I didn't dare to move. I counted my breaths—one, two...

When I counted to the tenth time, a kind of unknown fear emerged spontaneously, and I couldn't help but call out "Brother".

Then the quilt covering my face was finally pulled off by my brother and covered my body as usual.I looked up at my brother and called him again.

Lu Xinyao's eyes, which were too black and white, moved from the sluggishness, and they closed on my lips. He lowered his eyelids and said to me in a tone that was unfamiliar to him and me: "I drank too much, I'm sorry. "

My brother's tone and words made me sad.I thought to myself, no.Wrong, all wrong.It was me who was wrong, not my brother, I was the one who climbed onto his bed to seduce him.

I don't know why I shed tears without warning, as if it was about to fall, I couldn't see my brother clearly, but my instinct guided me to bury my face in my brother's arms, tightly hugged him.

"Brother, I was wrong...you hit me. Don't apologize."

My brother didn't speak, and I wept in his arms.I dare not leave my brother, his bed, quilt and body temperature, I am very afraid that he will hate me, even though I will make him hate me even more if I cling to him like this. ——My brother must really want to kick me off, even though he hasn't kicked me.

"Let go." Lu Xinyao said.

He told me to let go, but he knew I would not let go, so he carried out the order for me without mercy.

When Lu Xinyao let go of me, his eyes seemed to become clear and deep at that moment.He squeezed the space between his brows, then propped himself up from the bed, and went out without saying a word.

I panicked and almost rolled out of the bed. I ran after my brother with bare feet and blocked the door before he left.The first time I confronted my brother, my whole body was shaking with fear, and I asked him, "Brother, where are you going?"

Lu Xinyao didn't answer, but just told me to go away with his eyes.

But I didn't roll away, I still pressed against the door firmly, and said to him, "Don't go."

But just like the day Meng Guanghui whipped my brother with a belt, I couldn't stop Lu Xinyao at all, he didn't want to see me at all.My mouth still has the taste left by my brother, bitter, astringent, sweet, I don't know what I left in my brother's mouth, but it must make him feel sick.

When my back was detached from the cold door, an uncontrollable sadness welled up, which made me rush to my brother desperately and hug him tightly.I really didn't know what to do, so I could only threaten him sadly: "Hit me, if you beat me to death, I will let you go."

Lu Xinyao didn't attack me immediately, he seemed to calm down in the stalemate, and asked me, "Who taught you?"

Who taught me to kiss you?Who taught me not to let you go?Or who taught me to threaten you?I shook my head at my brother, no one taught me, it was like shedding tears, no one taught me, I knew it myself.

"I thought of it myself," I said.

Lu Xinyao has his own judgment on whether it is true or false. I can't guess whether he believes it, but his younger brother must have annoyed him so much, so he didn't want to pursue it any further. He just asked me: "Can it be changed?"

Still shaking my head, I told him, "I don't know."

Lu Xinyao asked me to say it again.

Honesty is a quality praised by everyone. My brother always likes to be honest, but this time he was bored with my honesty.For my brother, there was only one answer to that question, and I had to lie to get it right.

I learned to lie under pressure from my brother.I thought sadly in my heart: I can't do it.But I said to him: "Brother, I will change it, I can change it! Can you not go?"

I don't know if I can fool my brother, I hope he will tell me "no next time" like when I made a mistake before, but this time he didn't say.

My lies failed to keep my brother, Lu Xinyao left our shared room the next day and moved to live in a room outside.

That room was originally a utility room. When Sun Yuemei saw my brother clean it out, she gave me a look of pity, and when she found out that it was my brother who moved in, her eyes were filled with tears. anger.

Sun Yuemei didn't know what was going on. From her point of view, Lu Xinyao didn't move out because he hated me, but because he let me have a room alone.

In order to prevent the family from raising a second Lu Xinyao, Sun Yuemei began to carefully educate Sun Yanming. I often heard her scolding her younger son about his brother and his dead father Meng Guanghui.

Sun Yuemei told my younger brother that Meng Guanghui was a bastard and a rapist, while Lu Xinyao was a white-eyed wolf who turned his elbows every day.

Around that time, a bad seed was planted in my younger brother Sun Yanming's young heart. He originally loved and feared Lu Xinyao, but the existence of this seed made his love gradually shaken, so that he later fell in love with Lu Xinyao. Pan Guizhi got mixed up.