Jujube

After ten o'clock, the fruit stalls on the side of the road began to sell fruits at a discount.When Mao Lin passed by, he said he wanted to buy some back. He picked out two catties of sugar oranges, and then turned to ask me what I wanted to eat.

I said to him, pear.

Mao Lin didn't know what to think of. He was startled for a moment, then bent his mouth and said, "Pears are good. I like pears too."

Pears include crisp pears, tribute pears, Sydney pears, and fragrant pears. Suli pears are the largest and cheapest, while fragrant pears are small and exquisite and the most expensive.Mao Lin walked up to Suli first, took a look, and shook his head.Looking at Gongli and Xueli again, he still shook his head. He said that these two kinds of pears were not good-looking.In the end, Mao Lin bought two catties of fragrant pears.

Mao Lin carried two catties of sugar oranges and two catties of fragrant pears, and taught me as he walked: "The crisp pears are big, but the core is also big, which is not cost-effective. Only the fragrant pears are the most beautiful and can be eaten with the skin on. Let's buy them if we want." the best."

I was a little dizzy after drinking the beer. Mao Lin said that my face was flushed like a fragrant pear in a bag.Then he told me like a speech that people who are easy to face like me should drink less.The two of us returned to the tube building together. It was close to eleven o'clock, and the door in the corridor was still open, and the sound of playing mahjong came from inside.

I met Wang Chunlu again.This time she didn't hold the wooden basin, she opened the door and stood at the door, looking at Mao Lin without moving.Mao Lin glanced at her, then grabbed a few tangerines and a fragrant pear from the bag, stuffed them into Wang Chunlu's hand, and then went into the house.

The alcohol came up late, and I felt a headache. I didn't want to take a bath or take off my clothes. I just took off my shoes and lay down on the bed.He didn't fall asleep either, but just opened his eyes and looked at the upper bed board, his eyes dazed for a while, and a messy and ambiguous scene began to appear.

Knock, knock, knock. ——The sound of knocking on the door, Mao Lin walked over to open the door, let a person in, and then closed the door again.I first heard the sound of stumbling footsteps, like two shadows, you stepping on me and I stepping on you, stepping together regardless of you and me.Then there was pushing and shoving, I turned my face and saw a weak figure from behind, it was Wang Chunlu.She and Maurin hugged each other, shoved for a while, and then separated, with their arms raised above their heads, and the sweater pulled up and fell off their arms.

Mao Lin buried her face in Wang Chunlu's chest, pushed her down on the bed, and started to move around busily.I vaguely saw two thin legs hanging on Mao Lin's shoulders, bouncing, bouncing, hastily.The bed board supporting the two people was squeezed into a "creaking creak", accompanied by Wang Chunlu's moaning rhythmically.

I stared blankly, my mind was empty, my eyelids were squeezed again and again by the "creaking" sound, I don't know how many squeezes, and finally closed.

Drinking wine, getting a night of sleepy dreams, falling from one dream to another.Dreaming of gold again, Zhang Buyu's voice said, the city is full of gold, you have to look for it with wide eyes, but don't be dazzled... Then came Mao Lin's voice, getting rich, selling kidneys, drinking northwest wind , I'm looking for a woman... just take a look at the flowers, and the random flowers are gradually becoming charming again.

I heard someone calling me in my dream, Mengli, Mengli... as if in a hurry.I heard clearly, it was Lu Xinyao's voice.But I ignored him and listened without saying a word.I thought to myself: I like it when you call my name. If I don’t agree, you will keep shouting, shouting hard, shouting desperately, shouting until you lose your voice, and shouting until you will never forget me.

When I woke up, the room was cloudy, as if it wasn't daytime, but it had been dark since I slept last night.There was only a crumpled quilt left on Mao Lin's bed, neither Mao Lin nor Wang Chunlu.After a night of love between men and women, in the end there is only such a quilt left, and no one cares about anyone else.

Mao Lin spent one night and weaned two people.

At that time, I only felt that my heart was beating a little strangely, but I didn't notice anything. I didn't wake up until I came back from the bathroom.At this time, I saw that Mao Lin's upper bunk had disappeared, where his purse and travel bag were originally placed.In the closet, the few clothes he often wore also disappeared without a trace.

Only the sugar oranges and pears I bought last night are still there.Mao Lin dropped me and ran away alone.

I do not believe.Who is Ke Maolin?He is a liar, lying to him is as easy as eating and drinking, but I don't believe that a liar will tell lies.Seeing him getting up from Zhulou, seeing him entertaining guests, seeing his building collapsed——Mao Lin said, he will never forget me, he will make a comeback, eat delicious food, drink spicy food, and talk like a hype...I believed his lies .

The clouds outside the window were heavy, and the rain finally fell.Suddenly, that familiar fear surfaced again, and this time I seemed to see its face clearly: it was the back of Meng Guanghui I chased when I was a child, it was the empty person under the high wall, it was the sound of waking up in the middle of the night The sound of snoring...it's the girl who has no support, and the autumn fan is donated.

It was the fear of being abandoned.

I thought of Meng Guanghui who died, Chen Meiling who didn't know whether he was dead or alive, and Sun Yuemei and Lu Xinyao.Why don't they want me?Is there anyone born to be left behind?I suddenly felt a little dazed.

During that time, I fell into a state of confusion, staying in the house from morning to night watching the discs left by Mao Lin.Sometimes there was a noise in the corridor, I thought it was Mao Lin coming back, but it was not always.Until I finished watching all those movies, the liar did not come back.

Then I watched the anti-Japanese drama again, and used the lines in it to scold Mao Lin.Also scold Lu Xinyao.I'm going to spend the rest of my money and die.What's the good of being alive?Just to be thrown away?Just to see others consummated and hide away?The life of red and green is not one's own, it is for those who can't ask for it, and it's just a feast for the eyes. ——It was so sour that the eyes could bleed.What's the good of being alive?

I have to die.

I became completely insane, lying on the bed at night, "Feng Shen Bang" was playing on TV, and Bigan, who had his seven orifices and exquisite heart gouged out, asked the vegetable seller if vegetables can live without heart, and what about people without heart.The woman said that people die without heart.

I couldn't help writing "I'm dead" on a whole page in the notebook, and wrote a suicide note on the back, but when I finished writing these two words, I suddenly felt a little scared.Out of nowhere, I remembered Lu Xinyao saying to me:

"You can't live without me, can you?"

How did I answer that?can i live ... I couldn't remember, so I banged my head against the wall, tears streaming down my face without warning.

Wang Chunlu appeared at this time.The door probably wasn't closed, she broke in without any hindrance, but I didn't notice, I just tried my best to die.There were bursts of blackness in front of my eyes, and I remembered that I was shouting, my throat was hoarse, and I couldn't hear the shouting clearly, but I still wanted to shout.Even though my ears were deaf and I couldn't hear anything clearly, I knew exactly what I was shouting.

elder brother!elder brother!Brother... shouting like this, thinking desperately in my heart, my Guanyin, please, please bless me and die immediately.

Then a pair of hands strangled me—Wang Chunlu's hand.This sickly woman who often held a wooden tub, the "bitch" in Mao Lin's mouth, burst out with surprising strength at that time. She strangled me tightly, and with a pair of fleshy hands and arms, I I am separated from the wall.The smell of Chinese medicine buried me.

Don't cry, don't cry.Don't be afraid, your brother will be here soon, I'll tell him to come.Wang Chunlu said.

"No. He, he... No, he won't come."

Wang Chunlu coaxed me to come and come.She said, "I'll catch him and beat him if he doesn't listen!"

I heard myself let out a hoarse cry.

I wrapped myself in the quilt, cried bitterly, and suddenly felt cold, as if all the heat in my body had flowed away from the tears, and the chill penetrated into my lungs.Refreeze the bones that have been melted by the thought of "death", I don't know if I have more backbone or resentment.In short, people are alive.

Wang Chunlu was also alive. After I woke up, she had a tired smile on her face and asked me, "Are you hungry?"

I looked at her and nodded.

I remember very clearly that the first meal after I came back to life was Guilin rice noodles.

Wang Chunlu asked: "Why can't you think about it, are you going to die?"

I said, because I don't know how to survive.

Before leaving Baiquedang, I lived by my love and desire for my brother, but now I don't know why, because I have a mouthful of resentment?He didn't die, so he had to live his life on his last breath, and hated Lu Xinyao by the way.

But how to survive?Some people live for pleasure, some people live for cheating, and there are ways to live.

Wang Chunlu said that it was a good thing that Mao Lin left.He advised me again: "Go find a job to do. Don't learn from him."

There is no gold everywhere in Nanting, but there are many opportunities to work.The recruitment advertisements on the telephone poles are pressed one by one, and this is the way to survive.She taught me that there is only one way to die, and there are ways to live while walking.

The first thing I found was a job handing out leaflets temporarily, which took me half a month to distribute.Then I went to "Star River".

"Xinghe" is a bathing center. It is on the edge of the Linjiang River. The night scene in this area is bustling. There are shopping malls, bars and night markets nearby. There are cruise ships covered with neon lights on the river. It is lively day and night.Like a city that never sleeps, the sun in the sky sets, and the galaxy in the world floats up.As the poem says, "When you are drunk, you don't know that the sky is in the water, and the boat is full of clear dreams and crushes the galaxy."

But "Xinghe" is just a bathhouse, and people walk around naked. In the middle of the night, people come in through the curtain to take a shower, soak in the hot spring, steam, or massage.Mao Lin once told me that bathhouses and kilns are equally indecent places, the former is where the naked waits for the naked, and the latter is where the naked waits for the dressed.Isn't it all like that?

Life and death, that's what happened.Two catties of fragrant pears can eat the dead, and a bowl of Guilin rice noodles can bring people back to life.After finishing the rice noodles that day, Wang Chunlu asked softly, did you miss your brother?I want to say "I don't have a brother", like I lied to Maurin.But I don't know why, I was not afraid of Mao Lin's shrewd eyes, but under Wang Chunlu's tender gaze, I suddenly became dumb, as if I couldn't make a sound.Tears fell again.

I heard myself say, he doesn't like me.

Don't cry don't cry.Wang Chunlu patted my back, and the smell of traditional Chinese medicine haunted me again.She said, child, I like you.

The maternal love that I didn't experience from Sun Yuemei and Chen Meiling, I miraculously experienced it from a strange woman in this far away place.

Wang Chunlu and I gradually became acquainted.

I can always meet Wang Chunlu, sometimes I don't see anyone, but I know she is there.Every time I came back from the night shift in the early morning, I would know that Wang Chunlu got up to cook Chinese medicine when there was a smell of medicine from the door next door.When I was not on the night shift, I went to a small stall by the Lin River to eat a bowl of Guilin rice noodles, and when I went back, I saw Wang Chunlu holding a wooden basin from her back.

Because of the sickness, the figure from the back was still tired, but he still hugged the wooden basin vigorously, and dragged the shadow on the ground vigorously.While singing: "If the mountains don't turn, the water will turn; if the water doesn't turn, the clouds will turn; if the clouds won't turn, the wind will turn..."

It seemed like there was a twist at the end of the corridor.

——One turn, the past two years.