old light new bay

Is it painful?

In fact, no, Xin Wan didn't feel very painful, he felt that he had become a machine in disrepair, and every screw was covered with red rust.

He seemed to be out of his body, standing in the perspective of a third party, watching almost indifferently—seeing himself getting up in front of the tombstone, slapping himself hard, trembling in pain, and crying again Tears were streaming down his face, and he even thought about digging up the dirt to have a look, but he didn't have any strength, and he couldn't do anything except get up and sit aside.

The sharp grass pierced his ankles, the sun was very red at 05:30, and a bird passed by with wide wings and gray eyes staring at him.Xin Wan touched the photo - some places were swollen, bubble-like residues, like the rest of her breath.

Xin Wan knew that she was crying, and she didn't know when it would stop. She only knew that the winter wind made his skin chapped and it was very cold, but this cold also brought a kind of numbness, numbness made of stone.

It got dark very quickly, in less than 10 minutes.Xin Wan heard footsteps, hurriedly, but he just maintained the original movement, until the footsteps stopped in front of him, and the shadow surrounded him, Xin Wan bluntly raised his head and saw Song Heng's face.

Song Heng was wearing a horn gray coat, the scarf was loose, and his temple hair was a little wet.However, those eyes were the first to be seen, with a scorching temperature, his breathing was very rapid, and it turned into a white mist in the low temperature.

Would the mist get into his lungs too?Xin Wan wanted to speak, but lost her voice, only then did she realize that her voice had gone hoarse.Song Heng squatted down and looked at him at the same level. Xin Wan saw the horizon behind him, with the last milky white light streaming down the darkness.

Song Heng reached out to touch his cheek, his fingertips were very hot, and it seemed difficult to speak: "Who hit you?"

Xin Wan shook her head, tried to clear her throat, and then said: "No one hit me, I hit myself." He paused, "I just... want to see if I'm dreaming, I remember dreaming is Can't feel any pain."

The cemetery was lit with silver lights, Xin Wan held his hand, her cheek was pressed against his palm, he was too cold and needed to find a place to lean against.Song Heng asked him: "Does it hurt?"

"It hurts," Xin Wan lowered his eyes and said softly, "It hurts." He looked at the photo again, there were many wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, and he squinted his eyes when he smiled, "But I didn't wake up, I wasn't dreaming .”

He spoke very confusedly, muttering: "I don't remember anything, in the afternoon I wanted to leave Shuyue, the taxi driver kept smoking, and then there was a woman who lived in 402, she pushed me into a pile of cardboard boxes Li... She said so much that I don't know, and I don't know a lot."

Xin Wan suddenly looked at him, pleading: "So she really left? Brother."

Song Heng was speechless.It was brutal, and it was punishment to put him through another breakdown.

"I don't believe it at all. It's impossible. I haven't seen her for a few months. Before, she said that she would wrap beef dumplings for me during the New Year. I said I wanted to eat green dumpling wrappers, because I didn't eat them. After this, she said that she would prepare spinach juice in advance," Xin Wan said, "She lied."

Song Heng went to brush his hair that was blown tousled by the wind, and just called his name: "Xin Wan."

"It says she left in 2002. 2002, 2002, but I don't remember what happened this year," Xin Wan continued, speaking slowly, with eyes downcast, "I feel a headache and want to Cry bro, you know that feeling? It's like you're in a white field and you know what you want but don't know where to go. I think she has something to say to me but I don't know what she said do not remember."

"She..." Song Heng said, "She left you a lot of words."

Xin Wan stared at him blankly.

It has been several years ago, and I can only remember the general idea of ​​what Xin Wan said. Song Heng was silent for a while, and said softly: "Your grandma said, I hope you will eat less popping candy sold at the school gate, it is not good for your health. .”

"Eat more vegetables and fruits, don't be picky eaters and don't eat carrots."

Xin Wan clenched her hands tightly, trembling unconsciously.

"And she said—"

Xin Wan raised her eyes to look at him, and didn't move away for a long time, when she heard Song Heng say again.

"Say, I hope you are happy and happy, every day is like this."

Xin Wan didn't ask him "how do you know", but just lowered his head again, the dry and gray ground suddenly dripped with water marks, crying silently, very quietly, just squeezed out a sobbing sound from his throat, and hiccupped : "Ha, has it been a long time?"

"Four years, it's been a long time." Song Heng gently clasped the back of his head and let him stick in his arms. Xin Wan's clothes were cold, and she tightly clenched the corner of his clothes, asking him: " Did I cry then?"

cried.

Xin Wan grew up with his grandmother for 16 years. In 2002, Xin Wan's grandmother passed away due to a fever and she was too old to survive.Song Heng remembered Xin Wan's tears at that time. He grabbed the corner of his clothes, his face was dirty with tears and nose, cried hysterically, hugged him again, choked up and said: "Song Heng, no one will love me that much again gone."

Young people don't understand love, elopement and martyrdom, at least for Song Heng, love is just to wipe Xin Wan's tears, nothing else.So he touched those warm tears and said "don't cry", and said "I will love you from now on, okay".

"Should we be crying? But I can't remember," Xin Wan slammed his head twice, Song Heng grabbed his wrist and stopped his movement, only then did he see the bruises on his hands, " I don't remember anything."

"Then don't think about it yet," Song Heng clasped his hand, "It's all over, it's all over, Xin Wan."

With a very soft "hmm", Xin Wan raised her arms and hugged his neck. There was a faint smell of sweat and warmth. The wool scarf was dry and soft against his eyelids. He closed his eyes, his voice choked: "Then Brother, hold me tighter, okay?"

Song Heng did indeed do that.The sky was completely dark, only the light on their side was left, as if only the two of them were left in the sky and the earth, all traces of human civilization disappeared, the moon lacked concepts, and nothing else needed to exist except body temperature.

Xin Wan was tired from crying, and lost all the strength to struggle and cry in this warmth, she was drowsy, and vaguely heard someone's voice, but she couldn't hear it carefully, Song Heng said: "Master, we will wait for you Walk."

Most of the sleepiness just woke up. It was the administrator who was about to get off work and was urging them.Xin Wan tried to stand up on the ground, but raised her eyes again: "My legs are numb, brother."

"Then I'll carry you down," Song Heng looked into his eyes, "OK?"

Xin Wan turned his head to look at the tombstone, the photo was still smiling, he reached out to touch it many times, but there were no more tears to shed, so he smiled at the photo, said softly "I'm leaving", and then obediently Lying on Song Heng's back, Song Heng supported his legs and walked steadily. The road down the mountain was narrow and dark and green, and there was a crisp sound when stepping on dead leaves.

"If you are sleepy, continue to sleep." Song Heng said in a low voice.

Xin Wan just turned his head to look at the lights far away. On this downhill road, he still couldn't remember anything, and he was still standing in the blank expanse, but he didn't have to worry about falling or getting lost.

——In this journey, and perhaps in the long journey in the future, Song Heng will be his direction.

He closed his eyes again, tears streaming down the back of Song Heng's neck warmly.

The author has something to say: let’s slip and kneel first, sorry, I just handed in the manuscript to the publishing house in the past two days, and the three-dimensional has been very busy. I should be able to take a break for a while when I finish the important exam at the end of the month. , I didn’t give up the article, I really like this book, so I won’t be willing to give up the article, but I’m really sorry for making everyone wait so long, sorry, sorry, orz.

Thank you to everyone who is still following up!thank you very much.