old light new bay

On the way down the mountain, Xin Wan briefly fell asleep.

This was not his intention, maybe it was because he was too tired, or maybe it was some kind of protection mechanism in his mind that gently lured him into a dream.In the dream, it was summer, and the light was burning on the ground. He was walking on the dirt road, and there was a long shadow in front of him, but his back was bent.

"When we get to the church later, we need to get some holy water first, and don't talk nonsense," the old man walked slowly, with his shadow dragging slowly, "Wan Wan, do you understand?"

"Xin Wan," he emphasized, "it's not cool to be called Duozi."

"Okay, okay," grandma lowered her voice, "There are so many little things."

Xin Wan shouted, "I can hear you!"

The white light diffused, the church here is simple, with yellow water stains on the white walls, and rows of long wooden chairs, with men reciting in front of them holding the Bible. Looking at grandma's wrinkled face from the back, I suddenly heard a voice.

"Wan Wan."

Xin Wan was dissatisfied: "Xin Wan!"

"Your mother will be back tomorrow," said the old man. "Do you miss your mother?"

Xin Wan was silent for a while, then said, "I don't want to."

"Then you still like grandma. I think grandma was also a flower in the village back then, and many young men entrusted—"

Xin Wan shook her head and continued: "Many young men asked their parents to propose marriage to me, and there was one who was a high-ranking official, but I rejected them all, marrying your grandfather, who was short-lived."

The grandma slapped him with a smile, neither light nor heavy: "You child!" The smile in her eyes faded quickly, and turned into unresolved sadness, and she folded her hands together in a prayer posture.

Xin Wan had a quick forgetfulness, and felt drowsy in the sun. She muttered and asked, "Is Jesus really useful?" Then he asked, "What are you asking Jesus for?"

Dust was floating in the light, the half-white-haired old man looked at him, stroked his hair with calloused hands, and laughed: "Grandma is telling Jesus, let Wanwan go and don't forget grandma, don't eat braised pork forget."

Xin Wan didn't take it seriously: "I'm not leaving."

"I also told Jesus that I hope grandma's grandson will be well-off and peaceful, get into a good university, marry a good wife, and have a big fat boy."

Xin Wan blushed: "Oh, how old am I!"

"It's not young, it's already fifteen, it's a young man," the grandma looked at him pitifully, and said softly, "Wanwan, don't forget grandma, you should visit grandma often, okay?"

Xin Wan didn't understand the eyes, but nodded perfunctorily: "Okay, I promise you—what shall we have for dinner tonight?" He saw the familiar smile on the old man's face, and he couldn't see his eyes.

That hand caressed his hair for a long time, the voice gradually became distant and indistinct, the prayer song was also blurred, the church collapsed, the Bible was torn, the summer heat receded, everything was far away like a dream, the back of the hand There was a sudden stabbing pain, Xin Wan woke up and opened his eyes to look over, the doctor was wrapping a snow-white bandage on the back of his hand, and said with a smile: "Oh, I'm awake."

"elder brother……"

Xin Wan looked around again, and there was a door opening sound from one side, and Song Heng walked in, holding a white plastic bag containing the medicine box in his hand.He was still there and didn't leave, Xin Wan's tense nerves suddenly relaxed.

"It just looks serious, but it didn't hurt the bones. It's bleeding under the skin. It's nothing serious after the cold compress." The doctor tied the bandage and stood up. "Take oral antibiotics after meals, once in the morning and in the evening."

"Brother." Xin Wan looked up at him.

Song Heng leaned down, and the shadow surrounded him, half clasped his left hand and turned over to look: "Does it hurt?"

Xin Wan shook her head—it actually hurt a little, but it didn't seem worth mentioning.Everyone hurts.

"Don't worry, it won't affect him to use his hands in the future, just use his hands less in the past few days." The doctor patted Song Heng on the shoulder and laughed, "It doesn't affect him even if he is painting, don't worry about it."

Xin Wan always felt in a trance that he was still in a dream, and he was afraid that he would step on the ground. When he walked out of the hospital, the wind was blowing on his face, and it was dry and low temperature. He walked with his head down, and his left wrist was clasped. go here."

The parking lot was like a maze, he was dazzled, but he recognized Song Heng's car.There was still some heat in the car, and a black suit was placed on the passenger seat. Xin Wan hugged her in her arms, watching Song Heng sit in the driver's seat, and the car drove out slowly.

He said, "If you're still sleepy, keep sleeping, and I'll call you when you arrive."

"I just... had a dream," Xin Wan's voice was a little hoarse, and the scattered lights fell on his eyelashes, making his eyes beautiful. He didn't know how to describe this dream, from the holy water in the church, or from the dirt road shadow?It was too messy, so he asked after a while, "Are we going back to Shuyueli?"

"Well," Song Heng looked sideways at him while waiting for the traffic lights, "Do you want to go back?"

Xin Wan leaned his head against the glass car window, and the light streamed through his skin again. He pinched the corner of the medicine box, and made a barely audible "hmm" for a long while.

Nothing changed in Shuyue. Qiuqiu enthusiastically crawled out of the nest, but didn't notice any difference in him. Nobly, he swung Xin Wan's calf with his tail, and ran back.The nanny prepared the topping noodles in advance and served them with soup, which was very warm and warm, but Xin Wan felt as if she was in another world, and her stomach made rumbles in response to the occasion.

Song Heng sat on the other side of the dining table, "Have you eaten at noon?"

Xin Wan shook her head, then nodded again: "I seem to have eaten it." The bandage-wrapped person clumsily held on to the bowl, stirred the wooden chopsticks a few times, and the back of his hand was covered with warmth, Song Heng took the bowl and chopsticks, smudged with white steam In front of their eyes, the stir-fried noodles were delivered to his mouth.

Xin Wan clasped her hands in bewilderment, moved closer, and ate the noodles slowly.

A bowl of noodles was quickly finished, and Xin Wan took pills. The medicines to be taken were so mixed that he couldn't tell which kind was in charge of what. He just felt sleepy and drowsy after eating, but he managed to hold on. Eyelids.The footsteps stopped in front of him, and Song Heng asked softly, "Sleepy?"

Xin Wan replied in a daze, "Mmm..."

"Go to the bedroom and sleep, it's too cold at night on the sofa," Song Heng paused, and asked, "Which room do you want to sleep in tonight?"

Xin Wan didn't react for a moment.

"Forget it, I still won't let you make a choice," Song Heng pushed back the hair on his forehead, put his palms against it, and seemed to sigh, "Sleep in my room tonight, or I won't worry, okay? "

How to refuse?

The birds were still flying outside the window, the clouds turned into water vapor as they fell, and the moon was very white.

Xin Wan took the pillows from the bedroom and put them in the old place. The pajamas were still the navy blue ones. He lay on his side on the bed, his eyes fell on Song Heng, watching him turn off the lights, leaving only a very dim lamp. bedside lamp.His sense of hearing became sharper, and he could clearly hear the movement of him lying down and the rustling of the quilt.

The sleepiness was still there, but Xin Wan didn't want to close her eyes, she just looked at Song Heng, hesitated for a while, and then said: "Actually, I'm not too sad."

Song Heng opened his eyes.

"Maybe it's because I've experienced it once before, but I can't stand it at one o'clock in the afternoon, but it's not that sad now," Xin Wan said, "...don't worry about me."

Song Heng stroked the back of his neck very gently, and said softly, "But you will have nightmares."

Xin Wan suddenly wanted to cry, her eyes were hot: "Brother."

Despite knowing it was all a sham, they still used the title, he said: "I don't want to sleep."

"why?"

Xin Wan's voice choked up: "I'm afraid you'll disappear when you wake up." He knew what he said sounded like gibberish: "I thought I was going to school, and I was going to grandma's house after school, and I thought she was alive, but this is False. What if you are also a dream? A dream that has been going on for a long time, if you fall asleep and wake up the next day and you disappear, what should you do?"

Xin Wan was too scared, she couldn't tell what was true and what was false.Song Heng saw his flushed eye ends, his whole body was trembling slightly, and his eyelashes were wet.He clasped Xin Wan's right hand and put it on his ear: "This is the ear."

Move to the right again: "Here is the nose."

Down: "Here are the lips."

Xin Wan didn't know why, but still let him move until he put his hand on his left chest, Song Heng asked, "Did you feel it?"

The dull heartbeat was transmitted to the palm of the hand through the thin fabric, the blood flowed under the skin, the surroundings were silent, the vegetation and the clouds and the moon fell silent, so the heat and freshness were very clear, Xin Wanhong looked at Song Heng with eyes.

"Here is the heart, and it's beating."

"I'm not your dream, so I won't disappear when I wake up," Song Heng asked softly, "Do you believe me?"

Xin Wan nodded vigorously, put her arms around his waist, her ears were closer to the heartbeat, and curled up in his arms.Before other things are determined, Song Heng is at least real, and he murmured: "Then don't leave, don't leave..."

He vaguely heard the answer, but he couldn't distinguish clearly, he was too tired, Xin Wan relaxed as if relieved, hugged him even tighter, and closed his eyes.

This night was very long for him, but it seemed very short. He was still dreaming, and no abnormal noise disturbed him. Xin Wan fell into a drowsy sleep until the sun was shining. Black dots flashed out.

Song Heng was not there, the quilt was neatly folded, Xin Wan hurriedly got out of bed, saw his figure in the kitchen, and smelled the aroma of fried eggs and toast at the same time.

It was only at this time that Xin Wan was convinced that he was alive and standing in the light after returning from the desolate, cold, tears and withered cemetery. He took a few steps closer and said with a smile: "Good morning!" .”

Song Heng also said: "Morning."

"I thought you went to work, it's almost ten o'clock."

"The company doesn't have so many things to do today, so you don't have to go so early." Song Heng put the finished sandwich in front of him, and put on the plastic gloves, "Eat it."

Xin Wan took a big bite, and the yolk from the soft-boiled egg burned her tongue. Tears filled her eyes, she took several breaths, and while swallowing, she exaggeratedly raised her bound left thumb and said: "tasty……"

"You don't need to eat so fast," Song Heng frowned, pressing his fingertips on his chin, "Open your mouth."

Xin Wan obediently opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, and couldn't help but hide back when her breath was approaching: "It's okay! I do this often, it's just like this when I'm too greedy."

The kitchen is connected to the balcony at the end of the corridor, and a large piece of white light pours in from the floor-to-ceiling windows. Xin Wan slowed down the speed of eating. The crispy toast is indeed delicious. He asked vaguely: "Did I like it very much before?" Toast?"

Song Heng looked up at him.

Xin Wan rubbed her nose, feeling a little uncomfortable: "I just think this is very used to eating, the crust of the toast is delicious, it feels like potato chips, maybe—"

"Well," Song Heng stopped his bewildered words, "You used to eat it a lot."

"I'll just say it!" Xin Wan laughed, showing her dimples again, with a very naive look, "Intuition is always accurate."

Song Heng didn't continue to ask questions.

After breakfast, she went to change her dressing again, and untied the bandage on her left hand. Xin Wan sat on the sofa, and only then could she clearly see the bruises on the back of her hand.The hospital prescribed an ointment for removing stasis, and Song Heng would feel a slight pain when he wiped it off his eyes - the emotions would be soothed in sleep, but everything was still real.

Xin Wan counted his eyelashes one by one, and then looked at his dry lips.

"Besides baking bread..." Song Heng asked suddenly, "Do you think of anything else?"

Xin Wan was silent for a while, and said: "I only remember that I am 20 years old now, and I don't remember anything else." He bent his eyes and smiled again, "Although I don't remember anything, I should have known you before, right? I think you are very familiar."

Song Heng's action of applying the ointment paused for a moment.

"I always feel that you are very familiar. We were good friends before?"

Song Heng's clasped hands slowly loosened again, as if he lowered his head and smiled, and screwed on the cover sideways: "Yes."

The atmosphere became rigid for no reason, and the phone rang suddenly in the silence. Xin Wan watched him go to the window to answer the phone. Song Heng was used to answering the phone with his left hand, with slender fingers, and his voice was not loud, but still vaguely Can hear better, after hanging up the phone, Xin Wan asked: "Is it Shen You?"

Song Heng threw the dirty bandages into the trash can, and simply cleaned up the tea table: "He asked about your situation."

"Should I go to his place today?" Xin Wan smiled, "I have something to say to him."

It has been a long time since I went to Shen You's place last time, I can't remember clearly, he didn't want to go to psychological counseling, so Song Heng let him go, as long as he didn't do things that crossed the line, everything seemed acceptable, Now that he proposed it on his own initiative, Song Heng was only silent for a while before agreeing.

On December 28, the temperature in West Bay was minus three degrees.

It wasn't cold, but the wind was stronger near the sea, which made his cheeks red. Before going out, Song Heng tied a scarf for him. It was red—it had a very faint smell of laundry soap on it. Xin Wan buried half of her face in the scarf. Inside, it's incredibly comfortable.

"Did you buy this scarf yourself?" He closed the car door, his voice muffled in the scarf, "This color is so bright."

Song Heng leaned over to fasten his seat belt, the end of his hair caught his cheek, itching, this process was very short, he sat back to his original position: "It was given by a friend."

"I don't think this scarf is what you would buy. If you buy it, you should buy a very dark color."

Song Heng didn't seem to be very interested, his lips were pursed all the time, and singing was playing in the car.

The scenery outside the window flashed by quickly, this place is very close to Daosan Road, Xin Wan saw the blue and white road sign through the window.

The black car stopped downstairs of the consultation room, Xin Wan opened the door, the cold wind made him tremble, and he was about to get out of the car, but he didn't hear any other movement, he looked over strangely: "Aren't you going down? "

"I have other things, I'll pick you up when you're done." Song Heng's voice was very soft.

"Oh, okay," Xin Wan hesitated, "Then I'll call you when I'm done."

As soon as your feet stepped on the asphalt road, a voice suddenly came from behind: "I let you find that folder on purpose, Xin Wan, you actually know about it, don't you?"

Xin Wan tightened her fingers holding the doorknob: "...I know."

"You should be angry with me," Song Heng said, "I chose to let you know the truth in such a cruel way."

"But if you don't show me the folder, sooner or later I will go to grandma, and I might be even angrier at that time. Why didn't you tell me earlier, why did you treat me like a fool?" Xin Wan let go of her hand and turned to him Laughing—even though he still had the same smile, Song Heng felt that he was a little different, what was the difference?Can't say, he said, "I can't keep living in the illusion you've built for me, as much as I want to, and...and I want to remember it all."

Song Heng leaned on the driver's seat and looked sideways at him: "Actually, it's better not to think about everything."

Xin Wan was stunned, and Song Heng turned off the car music, as if he hadn't said that, and said, "Go, Shen You is waiting for you up there."

There was a sound of closing the door, and Song Heng was just about to take out the cigarette case in his coat pocket, when he suddenly heard someone call his name, saying, "Song Heng!"

He followed the sound and looked over. In the street and the wind, Xin Wan was wearing the red scarf, her pupils were black and clear, she waved to him clearly, and said to him, "Remember to take me home."

The author has something to say: [Slightly long, if you don't want to read it, you can choose "Don't watch it" in the settings]

I’m sorry it’s been so long. I haven’t updated the exam for a long time. When I picked it up again, I was too unconfident about this article. I always felt that I couldn’t do it when I started typing. I felt that I couldn’t write well, so it took a lot of time to bring Do mental construction for yourself.I haven't been busy recently, and this article is almost at the end. I tend to be impatient when I finish it. I want to change this article, and I also want to think about the ending method. I will try my best to finish it this time.If you feel that the serialization is too unstable, it’s okay to wait until the end. It’s true that I made a problem during the serialization. I apologize again? ♀? I will write a long and thick article as soon as possible in the next update