midsummer night

It seems that they haven't seen each other for a long time, looking at each other, dark and strange.Lu Chengfeng looked paler than usual, his body was wrapped in a straight suit with dark blue lines fitting his legs, standing in the hotel lobby which was not very conspicuous compared to him.

The light came in from the glass door behind him, and He Xiyuan couldn't see the expression on Lu Chengfeng's face clearly, probably because the atmosphere was too solemn and his expression became deeper.

He Xiyuan stood where he was, wary of anyone around who wanted to take him away.

Lu Chengfeng turned to talk to the housekeeper, who nodded and went out.

Lu Chengfeng walked forward, seemed to think about what to say, held back and didn't reach out to hug him, and only asked, "Do you need to go out?"

He Xiyuan nodded: "I'm hungry, let's have a meal."

Lu Chengfeng: "If you don't mind, you can eat in the hotel, I'll accompany you."

He Xiyuan looked at him for a few seconds, and asked, "Is the senior going to tell me something?"

Lu Chengfeng: "I just want to have a meal with you."

He Xiyuan stood in front of him and looked at him for a long time, as if he wanted to see his real purpose clearly through his deep eyes.

But in the end they walked to the restaurant for dinner, and Lu Chengfeng walked behind him.

They didn't hold hands, like the dinner after get off work in Beidu before dating, but he was following Lu Chengfeng at that time.He Xiyuan no longer had charming fantasies and scalp tingling tension, his eyes skipped over the cheerful and noisy dining crowd, found a seat by the window, and went to fetch food.

The buffet dinner was filled with two partitions, but it didn't make him too interested in food. Only a few delicate desserts and warm noodle soup could give him a little bit of winter comfort.

There is a Christmas tree full of gifts in the dining room, the dining table is decorated with red Christmas decorations, and silver snowflakes and brown elk hang from the ceiling.Diners with their families sit around round tables, and children with red scarves around their necks run on the carpet, laughing happily.

He Xiyuan wears a light-colored shirt with a dark gray woolen sweater, while Lu Chengfeng wears a suit and overcoat. His appetite doesn't seem much better than He Xiyuan's.When eating with He Xiyuan in the past, he liked to recommend food and comment on staple food and wine.Most of the restaurants he went to were familiar with him, so he was very handy.

But his abilities couldn't be used in this too unfamiliar hotel. He Xiyuan sat opposite him, but he still looked the same as he remembered before leaving Beidu.

Lu Chengfeng's plate was filled with plain steak and pasta, with a few vegetables on the side of the plate.

He Xiyuan glanced at it, then continued to eat his noodle soup with his head down.The cake was set aside, as if to wait until after the meal.

Their corner was relatively quiet, with little conversation, and there was laughter and clinking of glasses at the surrounding tables.He Xiyuan didn't meet his eyes, and was thinking about the same question from beginning to end: what did Lu Chengfeng want to say, and what did he want from him.

He was ready, once Lu Chengfeng said something he didn't want to hear, he would leave the unfinished food and leave.

His medicine is still in his pocket, his fingers touching the obvious plastic casing under the fabric.

When the lemonade in hand was empty, He Xiyuan reached for the glass, but Lu Chengfeng's hand was faster than his, and said, "I'll help you."

He Xiyuan said, "No need."

Lu Chengfeng still held the cup, then got up, went to the drink counter to get him a glass of lemonade, and came back quickly to put the water by He Xiyuan's hand.

After He Xiyuan finished eating the noodle soup, he moved the bowl aside and started to eat the cake.There is a strawberry on the cake, and the silver dessert spoon reflects Lu Chengfeng's shadow under the light.

He ate very slowly, digging out only a small spoon at a time, and the opposite gaze followed the movements of his hands and lips, and stuck to him.

In the end, He Xiyuan only ate more than half of it, leaving a small piece, raised his head and said, "I'm full."

Lu Chengfeng looked at him, nodded hesitantly, then dragged the small plate and the dessert spoon in front of him, and ate the leftover cake with two spoons.

He Xiyuan watched him put his used spoon into his mouth, feeling a little annoyed, he frowned slightly, thinking whether he should eat something more, or just go back to his room.

When the waiter came over to take away their plates, Lu Chengfeng raised his eyes to look at him, and He Xiyuan lowered his eyes to avoid them.There were only white tablecloths and candles left on the dining table, which looked clean and warm.

Lu Chengfeng put his hand on the table, keeping a short distance from He Xiyuan's fingertips.No one moved their hands away.

Lu Chengfeng said, "Xiyuan."

He Xiyuan raised his eyes and looked at him.

Under the light, Lu Chengfeng's eyes became deeper and more solemn. He said, "Although I said it on the phone, I still want to tell you in person that I love you very much——"

He Xiyuan interrupted him: "Stop saying that."

Lu Chengfeng stopped, He Xiyuan wasn't sure if he heard clearly, so he said it again: "Please don't say that."

His lips seemed to be trembling a little, but he didn't say anything, he just retracted the hand on the table that was infinitely close to Lu Chengfeng's fingertips.

From hearing Lu Chengfeng's voice on the phone yesterday, to the test report in the morning, to the plastic packaging of the pill sticking to his body through the cloth, everything was so heavy that he could hardly bear it.

He didn't look into Lu Chengfeng's eyes, but looked at the white and firm collar of his shirt, and said slowly: "I probably know what the senior wants, but I can't give it to you. I'm actually not suitable to be with anyone."

"Whether it's a child or something else, I can't give it to you. I'm poor in many ways, and I don't know you very well. Probably what I liked in the past was not necessarily the senior, but the perception that I was immersed in the fantasy that I liked the senior. .The establishment of true emotion requires a certain kind of self-ability, but I don't have this ability. I lost it very early, and I didn't learn it later."

"So stop saying that word, I can't respond and I feel like I owe you something. I don't like to owe people things."

Lu Chengfeng said: "If it makes you uncomfortable, don't say it, and you don't need to respond." Then he put an envelope in front of He Xiyuan.

He Xiyuan glanced suspiciously, and then asked, "What is it?"

Lu Chengfeng: "Open it and have a look."

Inside the envelope is a document.

He Xiyuan took the contract to read, and he read the content several times before he sorted it out. The contract was placed on the dining table, and his hands were trembling under the tablecloth.

Lu Chengfeng gave him a sum of money, which was several times the amount of his deposit, and the contract stated that no matter what He Xiyuan decided in the end, the money was a gift.The money transfer information was mixed in a long list of reminder messages on the lock screen of his phone in the past ten hours or so, and he completely ignored it.

The contract also stated that if He Xiyuan's child was born, Lu Chengfeng would give up the custody of the child, only retaining the visitation rights and paying child support until the child completed his studies when he became an adult.

In addition, he must pay child support for the first five years in one lump sum, excluding additional housing, babysitting and other expenses.

The contract was written in great detail, from education to medical care, He Xiyuan himself hadn't considered many aspects carefully.

He Xiyuan looked at the contract and said nothing. He didn't have enough sleep for many days, and he woke up intermittently in the afternoon, and his spirit was not very good.

After reading the contract twice, his hands and feet trembled more and more, not knowing what Lu Chengfeng's purpose was.

He really doesn't know how to love someone, because it seems that no one has ever loved himself.Emotional perception was extinguished as early as his menstrual cycle.Like a wooden branch soaked in ice and snow, even the purest fire will not make it ignite into flames.

But he did not deny that the conditions Lu Chengfeng gave were very attractive, and could even be called perfect.Money cannot buy emotion, but it can buy future vision.He accepted Lu Chengfeng's proposal, and he, together with the undeveloped embryo, was bought off.

But is it just economic security that is bought?He Xiyuan frowned slightly, he didn't want to reveal too much of his thoughts in front of Lu Chengfeng, he needed time and space to think.

He can negotiate business with Lu Chengfeng as an analyst of Jianling, or negotiate a rental contract with Lu Chengfeng as a tenant, but he can't face himself and negotiate with Lu Chengfeng for the next 20 years.

He couldn't think of anything besides that child that Lu Chengfeng needed to negotiate to get.

He Xiyuan raised his head from the contract, and asked abruptly: "Is it because of the pheromone compatibility that the senior wants me to keep the embryo?"

Lu Chengfeng: "Compatibility is not what I love—it's not why we're together. I hope to give you more freedom of choice."

He Xiyuan: "Even if I have the freedom to choose, in such an environment, I can hardly see a future I can yearn for."

Lu Chengfeng seemed to know what he was thinking, and replied: "You can choose the country you want to live in, and I will arrange other things."

He Xiyuan murmured, "Then what will our relationship be like in the next ten years or so? Have you ever thought, senior, that you will get married in the future—"

Lu Chengfeng said: "Unless the object is you, this will not happen. Our relationship is determined by you, and the contract protects you and the child."

He Xiyuan looked at him, as if he wanted to see some flaws in his solemn expression.But he didn't say anything after all.

He and Lu Chengfeng were sitting in the restaurant with Christmas decorations, it was probably a picture he had occasionally fantasized about for many years.Because he had thought about it for so many years that he didn't feel very new or surprised at this moment.

He took the envelope and went back to his room with red eyes, not letting Lu Chengfeng follow him into the elevator.

He read documents under the dim light of the hotel, and could barely sleep at night.Near the early hours of the morning, fireworks were set off near the hotel, light flashed through the gaps in the curtains, and there were sounds of people running and shouting in the corridor and downstairs.

The medicine was still in his pocket, and he took out the tinfoil plastic sheet to have a look. The little light yellow pill was still there, and it was still well stored without melting.

When he got up during the day the next day, he felt no appetite, thinking that he might run into Lu Chengfeng when he got out of the room, he didn't even go downstairs to eat breakfast.He took out some snacks from the bag and stuffed them in his mouth casually.

At noon, without pain, he found brown blood stains on his underwear in the bathroom.