uncut

Ji Jian only showed the so-called "fragility" and "confusion" of that night.

At dawn the next day, Teacher Ji was still Teacher Ji, and he was neat and concise when standing on the podium to give lectures.Shao Youguang stood at the back door of the classroom and listened to Ji Jian's lecture, and then asked him: "You didn't study in a teacher's college, when will you give a lecture?"

Ji Jian told him that it was all done through practice, you didn't see that when I first came here, everything was a mess.But it’s okay, so I don’t have the heart to think about other things, and I’m thinking about how to go to class in my dreams.

Shao Youguang didn't ask Ji Jian what the "other things" he didn't think about, and he didn't try to persuade Ji Jian on the topic of that night.

Shao Youguang didn't persuade much, because he knew that his lover had a scale about all human virtues in his heart. On this point, Ji Jian never needed his rescue.All he has to do is listen to him when he needs it and be by his side all the time.

After that night, everything went on as usual. In the early morning, Ji Jian was joking with Shao Youguang again. In the evening, he went to Sheng Weimin's house to have a meal and talked about Liu Meng's situation.Sheng Weimin sighed as he listened, but Ji Jian spoke very calmly, truncated and simplified the part of his grievance.Shao Youguang ate food on the sidelines, did not participate, and tried his best to play a mindless audience.It is worth mentioning that the plates on the table are all red and bright spicy, and occasionally a plate looks innocent, just a few grains of millet spicy, which can kill people invisible.Where is there no spicy millet? How can it be so enjoyable in this land.Shao Youguang was sweating from eating, but Ji Jian poured him a glass of cold water and put it on the side before the meal, and he took a sip before he felt a trace of silent ironing.

Seeing that both of them had a bit of a cold, Sheng Weimin laughed, "Here, if you have a cold, eat a spicy meal and you'll be fine."

I got better from the cold, and I repeated it once or twice. After all, the spring is cold and the temperature difference between day and night in the mountains is large;And getting used to this kind of thing probably always tends to be attached to time, and even the taste buds on the tongue have become tolerant to the taste of "spicy".Shao Youguang could already eat a whole bowl of red shredded beef bait without blushing.

In a blink of an eye, he has been in Yiliang for more than a month. Shao Youguang is a person who can't be idle, and most of the time he fulfills the duty of being "golden house hides the beauty" by Teacher Ji, but sometimes he also spends three to five days to visit the surrounding mountains. water circle.He saw the sky and the earth, and also saw countless similar villages among the mountains, and saw ten thousand kinds of living situations.He probably knew what kind of insignificance Ji Jian was talking about, but he thought, what's wrong with being insignificant.

During the period, Lao Ma called to ask him what kind of style he went to Yunnan to pick up, and said that if you don't come back, you will be eliminated.

Shao Youguang said without shame: "Who said I am a fan? I am chasing my daughter-in-law."

The old horse didn't believe it, so he asked him to be more correct, and asked: "To be honest, I want to plan a new play recently, an original version, and it's boring to keep rehearsing classic plays."

Shao Youguang was sitting on a small hillside in Deqin to rest. The spring grass on the ground became waves with the wind. When he looked up, he could see the white top of Meili Snow Mountain looming in the clouds, like a mountain god overlooking the earth.He thought for a while and said, "I have an idea, maybe it's really feasible."

As he said, he suddenly thought of going back to Yiliang tonight, and he felt tender in his heart. Even though there were foreign lands everywhere, he felt like he wanted to go home.

Ji Jian often wakes up at night.This situation has not happened for a long time.

At first he suffered from insomnia when he first came to Yiliang, but later he got used to it and always had no dreams at night.He thought about it carefully, and this situation probably only happened after Shao Youguang came.

He was lying on his side, facing the white wall when he opened his eyes.Dreams are slippery things, and you can't catch the tail when you just start to think about them.Ji Jian turned over and saw a rolling mountain rising from the bed next to him, and heard another person sleeping peacefully, and suddenly remembered that Shao Youguang was here.He went to Dali and Lijiang, went to Lugu Lake, and this time he simply went to Deqin to see Meili Snow Mountain. He just came back tonight.This road was not easy to walk, and I was so tired after dinner that I fell asleep without saying a few words.

Ji Jian was not willing to close his eyes anymore, he got off the bed lightly and took a sip of water, then lay back and focused on looking at the arc of the blurred shadow in the darkness of night, as if he was hanging on a heart, Suddenly recalling the dream I had just now.

This dream was so real, it probably said that he opened his eyes and woke up, and found that there was no one around him, not even the bed that Sheng Weimin had brought was gone.He searched everywhere, searched everywhere, and asked all over Yiliang, but no one knew who Shao Youguang was.He tried his best to find traces of this person's existence to prove that he had really been there, but it was all in vain.

Ji Jian felt it was funny now, he asked himself, what are you afraid of.This person is not right here.He thought in a trance that time probably really has a web like Borges said, and dreams are the best proof.He couldn't help showing his might to Ji Jian in the dream - he really came to me.

Lack of security is probably really a disease, and Ji Jian himself scolded himself for being hypocritical.It's just that he really can't grasp something like "light", no matter how it falls in his palm, it is still an illusion, and the sun will be lost if it is a little bit off.

Ji Jian understands that Shao Youguang is free, but he is also firm. Of course he does not doubt his love.It's just that Ji Jian is indeed in a period of confusion now. The more he understands the depth of his love, the more he feels bad about himself.

What have I to deserve him to do for me? , besides, he thought, I am no longer young.The me now is already different from when I was a child. The pride of that year has changed in taste today, with a lot of sweet and sour taste mixed in, and it has become a refined brew with the taste of Ji Jian.This wine is really not mellow, but astringent and greedy.

Of course, life is still going on, looking at the calendar, from the vernal equinox to Qingming, then to Grain Rain, and then Lixia.People of their age are often not fashionable to talk about "falling in love". The two of them are living a very gentle life these days. This is a comfortable way of getting along. Shao Youguang seems to know his mind and only cares about the relationship layer by layer. Pushing slowly seems like a process of anesthesia.At first it was to hug and straighten the collar, but now they can lie on the same bed and take a warm nap together.Ji Jian also felt that life was getting better, for no reason, and it became better when nothing major happened.He attributed it to the fact that breaking ice and melting snow is always a process from numbness to warmth.

Two things happened during this time.It sounds complicated, but it's a good thing.

The first thing was that Sheng Weimin came forward, funded by the school, and took Liu Meng to see a psychologist in the city once a week.The little girl was very resistant at first, but later she was willing to cooperate. As for her mother, since she couldn't spend her money, she could only mutter a few words, and couldn't say anything else.Although depression is an extremely long-term and easy-to-repeat thing, it is also the most normal disease, no different from a cold and fever, and her life is her own after all.The middle school in Kunming gave Liu Meng a psychological assessment for returning to school, and the result was that he could return to school normally.But Liu Meng said that she didn't want to study in that middle school and wanted to transfer to a school in the town.Of course the schools in the town are willing to accept such outstanding students, so the admission procedures went very smoothly.Ji Jian didn't ask Liu Meng why, whether she saw her own boundary or any other explanation, he didn't think it mattered, because at least she was the one who made the choice.

On the day of enrollment, Ji Jian, Shao Youguang and Sheng Weimin sent her there together.The sun was shining brightly, spring was in full bloom, and all the flowers in the mountains were in full bloom. It was a beautiful sight.The three big men watched Liu Meng with her ponytail into the school together, watching her go farther and farther until she disappeared into the gate of the teaching building. After shaking, shaking, it becomes the sun in the sky.

Sheng Weimin was so sentimental that he almost shed tears and said several words in succession to be good.Then he turned to Ji Jian, and said out of nowhere: "Mr. Ji, I posted a post about recruiting teaching teachers on the Internet a few days ago, and someone has already signed up. I can come next semester."

Seeing that Ji Jian didn't speak, he said again: "Mr. Ji, don't blame me for not telling you in advance, I..."

"What's the matter?" Ji Jian smiled, he thought about it several times in his heart, and said, "It's pretty good."

Really good.

Ji Jian was about to speak, but was interrupted by Shao Youguang.

He said, "Hey, Principal Sheng, I just want to tell you something."

"what?"

"I don't do drama, oh, I don't sing, it's drama, and musicals are all included. Our side is planning a public welfare project. It's just started, and the name hasn't been decided yet, but it's probably like this. A professional team took scripts to impoverished primary schools all over the country, and asked the children to be young actors. Didn’t I just happen to be here, and I wanted to ask how the first stop was in the nursery. "

Of course Sheng Weimin was willing, asked a few questions in detail, and then showed embarrassment, and said, "But we don't even have a decent stage here. If we really rehearse, how can we perform this play?"

"Who said it can only be performed on the stage? Grassland, wasteland, field... You have such a large space, where can you not do drama?" Shao Youguang asked him a little strangely.

"Okay, your computer can access the Internet. The plan has already been written over there. I'll send it to your mailbox to have a look." Shao Youguang couldn't bear the burning eyes of the two people in front of him, so he ran away and said, "I'll go Smoke a cigarette."

On the way home, Sheng Weimin drove the car, and Ji Jian and Shao You sat behind the seat.The radio station in the car played earthy love songs, and the lyrics were all about "If you want to marry, you must marry an uncle", but Sheng Weimin listened to it very well, and turned his voice up loudly.There are eighteen bends in the mountain road, and it will be a sharp turn after a short walk, and the two of them have to use their inertia to get closer.

The two of them got close, first they whispered about Principal Sheng's taste for a while, and then Ji Jian said softly and respectfully in Shao Youguang's ear, "Thank you."

Shao Youguang took Mr. Ji's hand on his lap and interlocked his fingers for a while, then said softly and cleverly: "Thank you, it has nothing to do with you, I want to do it myself. The collaborators over there are also very interested, huh , it’s Lao Ma, a buddy I met when I was in college, and I’ll introduce you two when I have a chance.”

Ji Jian didn't pull his hand back. He leaned his head against the car window and looked inward at Shao Youguang. The skylight from outside shone in and coated it with a soft border, which made a kind of emotion linger in it. The word "later" seems to have really become tangible.The singing was too loud, and he found it difficult to speak, so he just nodded.

Ji Jian thought, maybe it's really time to leave.Even though there are so many unsolvable problems and unbreakable boundaries in the world, fortunately, there are always people on the way.

The other thing is about showdowns and candor.

Shao Youguang received a call that day. He divided his life clearly. The work account is only for work. Now all phones are turned off, and only friends and relatives can be reached.It was noon at this time, the sun was shining, and the heat on the plateau began to ferment slowly like wine in a wine cellar.The two of them were lying on the bed, and Ji Jian was reading the students' composition texts in his hands. The two of them laughed together when they heard something interesting.

Before Shao Youguang picked up the phone and said a few words, he tilted his head and mouthed Ji Jian - "My mother".

Ji Jian thought that he wanted to change places to avoid suspicion, but he didn't expect this person to get worse. He changed his hand to only hold the mobile phone, and instead freed up an arm to hug Ji Jian.

"Well, I got it...Okay, okay,...August, right, um...I'll definitely go back, don't worry."

Zhao Fengqiu told him on the phone that several old houses in the textile factory were going to be demolished, and Shao Youguang had to go back before August.She said: "I'm busy because I'm busy. You come here mainly to search through the pile of old things to see if there is anything to keep. Also, you have to take a last look at the place where you have lived for so many years."

Shao Youguang readily agreed. It was a normal phone call, but Zhao Fengqiu asked too much: "Where are you now?"

"In Yunnan." Shao Youguang replied casually.

"Yunnan?!" Ever since Zhao Fengqiu turned into an old lady, her voice became more penetrating. This call broke the eardrums, and even Ji Jian outside the phone could hear it.

"What are you doing in Yunnan? Did you go there?"

"Yiliang," Shao Youguang completed her, and said, "Yes, Ji Jian is by my side now."

No matter how eloquent Zhao Fengqiu was, he was silent at this moment. Taking advantage of this gap, Shao Youguang smiled as if thinking of something, and said, "Mom, don't you think I'm awesome."

Zhao Fengqiu was so annoyed by him that he couldn't get angry with cursing: "You are awesome, you are the best." After speaking, he softened his voice, sighed, and said, "Then you remember to bring him home. Two Come back and have a look together, huh?"

"Okay, I know."

Before hanging up the phone, Zhao Fengqiu finally added in a low voice: "Your Aunt Song is very well, physically and in all aspects, so don't worry about that child."

Shao Youguang cared about Zhao Fengqiu again.After I hung up the phone, I turned around, only to find that the person in my arms had not relaxed for a long time, was stiff, and was looking at him a little nervously.

"My mother asked us to go home together." Shao Youguang reached into his hair and rubbed it twice.

"Aunt Zhao...knows all?"

"I know, why don't I know. I told her a long time ago."

Once bitten, twice shy.Maybe it was because of the deep and tragic psychological shadow left by Song Manzhi when he came out of the closet, Ji Jian's heart disease called insecurity and inexplicable lack of self-confidence suddenly broke out again.He subconsciously broke free from Shao Youguang's embrace, sat up, his face turned pale, and his mind became a little confused under the high tension.

"What did Aunt Zhao say? You go now, don't wait for me, don't make your mother angry, no, no, did your mother beat you at that time? Ah, your mother didn't do anything to you, did she?" He said I want to take off Shao Youguang's clothes, and want to check whether the person in front of me is thorough or not.Back then Song Manzhi was so angry that he would smash everything he saw. The scar on Ji Jian's waist was the result of being injured at that time.

Shao Youguang pressed his hand, distressed and angry.Pressing the shoulders made people sit still, thinking that today he had to cure Ji Jian's problem.

"What do you mean when I leave? Let me tell you, from now on, only the two of us will leave together. I will leave whenever you leave." He inevitably spoke in a heavy tone, and continued, "Ji Jian, I Let me ask you a good question today. Did you sleep restlessly at night and wake up? Also, did the story you wrote really end like that? I don’t believe it was your original ending. "

Ji Jian wanted to hide, but he had no choice but to be stopped, so he shook his head bitterly and said, "No, I want to change the ending."

"What exactly is it like?" Shao Youguang never softened his heart, ignoring his roundabout tactics and insisting on asking.

Ji Jian stared at him, his eyes were red, and he said it as if he had made a lot of determination: "Well, the ending of that story was originally that the writer committed suicide, surrounded by his books, he hanged himself Yes. I originally wanted to tell you the whole thing, but...in the middle of it, we suddenly...I didn't dare to say it. I'm just, just afraid that this ending will become a bad metaphor, so I don't want to say it out, Because I'm afraid, I'm afraid of that sense of fate, I think we can be good, and I don't want you to see the dark side of my heart."

"Besides," Ji Jian said pointing to himself, "I'm not young anymore, I'm not the same as before."

God, Shao Youguang sighed in his heart, how can I make up for all these years.

"Let me see you." He interrupted Ji Jian's self-analytic statement, and looked directly into his eyes with his chin.

Ji Jian wanted to dodge, but Shao Youguang said "don't move" to stop him in place. He heard him say——

"Yes, there are wrinkles at the corners of the eyes, and the skin is a little darker. It must have been sun-tanned on the plateau these years. Well, the mouth seems to have changed a bit, but it still looks good. It seems to be darker in the middle of the person. They say so People are blessed when they get old, and the dark circles under their eyes are heavy, hey, look, this one has a white hair." Shao Youguang helped him pull it out, held it in front of his eyes, and finally concluded: "It is indeed different from before."

Ji Jian's eyelashes trembled.

Then Shao Youguang said softly, "Look at me again."

Ji Jian was startled, and then carefully looked at the big face that filled his eyes.The uneasiness in his eyes slowly settled under such gaze.What is Shao Youguang like? It seems that he really hasn't looked carefully for a long time.I don't know whether it's because they are too shocked every time they look at each other or what, Ji Jian is surprised now that they are missing such a link.

The hair is not as short as it was when I was a child, but it is still not long. It reveals the whole face without any cover. There are fine wrinkles, and if you look closely, there seem to be some traces between the eyebrows.

He didn't dare to look at his face carefully before, because he was afraid of seeing the traces of the years, but now he looked carefully, and he knew that the traces of the years were so charming.They are no longer teenagers, but their eyes are always bright.People always go through such a process, see through the ending at a glance, face aging, and then face death, but if you have seen all these, then there is nothing to be afraid of.

Ji Jian couldn't help touching the corners of his eyes, and laughed out loud.He suddenly thought of something, tilted his head and said, "You didn't finish telling me the story of Icarus back then."

Feelings are waiting for him here, Shao Youguang lost his mind for a moment, and half-truthfully complained: "Why do you hold grudges so much?"

He said okay, then in exchange, we will have a showdown today.Seeing that he had never been so embarrassed, Shao Youguang stammered, "Actually, I am Mr. Zhao."

Ji Jian and him looked at each other, unable to react for a while.Shao Youguang simply shameless to the end, said: "So you see, I am with you."

No matter what he is with you, Ji Jian snatched Shao Youguang's phone to look at it.

The chat history is clear and plain, and the more I read it, the more I am ashamed.The final result was also clear, Ji Jian didn't talk to Shao Youguang all day, and even if he wanted to talk, he was cynical——

Mr. Zhao, stop washing the dishes and let me do it. You have worked hard.

Shao Youguang couldn't help touching his head, thinking, why am I so miserable?

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