uncut

Zhao Fengqiu is an old lady with a "demeanor". Of course, this demeanor is only limited to when she does not speak.

The textile factory is about to be demolished, and there are a lot of people walking around in a mess. Some of them have old faces, all with gray hair, hunched waist, and some of them are old faces. They are young men from the demolition office in the county. Young and half-baked, it took Zhao Fengqiu a long time to recognize the traces of his childhood from those faces-"Oh, you are chubby, why did you lose so much weight?"

Zhao Fengqiu was standing at the entrance of the alley. Everyone knew her and could exchange a few words when they met. Her hair was long and evenly white. It was divided into three strands and braided into a big braid on her head. She is very energetic, with a thin necklace around her neck, it can be seen that she was a beauty when she was young.When the younger generation saw her, they all asked: "Yo, the Zhao family's mother is so beautiful today, who are you waiting for?"

Zhao Fengqiu heard that she was beautiful and was extremely proud, and replied, "My son is home today."

"Mom, what are you doing here? It's not like I don't know the way home." Shao Youguang saw Zhao Fengqiu standing at the intersection from a long distance away, waving his hands exaggeratedly, very ostentatiously.

"I'm not going to welcome you, I'm here to greet Xiao Ji." Zhao Fengqiu gave him a blank look, without any demeanor, and pulled Ji Jian to him as he spoke, as if this was her own son. After looking at Zhou Quan, he didn't feel nostalgic, and said happily: "They are so tall and handsome. Let's go home."

Shao Youguang grabbed Ji Jian's other hand and chewed on his ear, but the voice was so loud that Zhao Fengqiu could hear him, and said: "Look at the newly bought dress on her body, it's standing here to show off."

"I want to beat you." Zhao Fengqiu pulled Ji Jian away quickly, muttering something in his mouth, "It's really cheap for him".

Ji Jian hasn't been back for a long time, looking around, walking a little stiffly, listening to the local accent, he feels kind.

He wanted to say a word of thanks first, but he realized that there was no compound name. Compared with the Aunt Zhao in front of him, he seemed too frivolous no matter what.

I had no choice but to speak first: "Aunt Zhao, I heard from Shao Youguang that you have been taking care of my mother, I..."

"Yes, look, both of you are gone, I am two years old, I live with a partner, and I also have a care, how do you say that word, depend on each other, oh, no, depend on each other is not like this, we live a good life It's very comfortable."

"My mother, she..."

"That's right, Shao Youguang told you, your mother used to be smart, read a lot of books, and thought a lot, but now she's getting older and her mind is confused. In fact, it's only been two years, and soon Yes, she's getting more and more forgetful, and sometimes even I don't recognize her, God probably thinks she was too tired before, and now she's making up for it."

"Yes, yes," Ji Jian said with his head down, "It's hard to be confused."

Ji Jian thought, if I had come back two years earlier, I would have admitted my mistake for not coming home for a long time, and then took care of Song Manzhi.But where do so many ifs come from in life?

Zhao Fengqiu glanced at him, as if he knew what he was thinking: "Your mother remembers you, don't worry, you look like this now, you have changed a lot, if your mother doesn't recognize her, don't blame her, I almost didn't recognize you Come out. Right, such a handsome young man is really cheap for my son."

Ji Jian was stunned for a moment, and then he heard Shao Youguang calling unwillingly from behind: "Mom, what do you mean?"

Ji Jian called "Aunt Zhao" solemnly again, and was interrupted when he was about to speak.Zhao Fengqiu watched him grow up, and he knew what he was going to say with a glance.

"Don't thank me. I didn't know why your mother was bothered. I thought that my son still missed other people's sons. I felt guilty. Later, her memory became worse and worse, and she couldn't take care of herself, so we supported her. It’s been like finding a job for me, they’re all women, they help each other, what’s the matter?”

The door of the unit is so low, it seems that if you don't bow your head slightly when you walk past, you will be knocked, and the corridor is also narrow, and it is too crowded for two people to pass side by side.Ji Jian walked like this without anyone leading the way, it was simply relying on the muscle memory engraved in his bones.Zhao Fengqiu opened the door of his own house first, and said: "Your mother's house has been unoccupied for a long time, so you and Shao Youguang can go and tidy up later."

Then he yelled into the room again, with a correct accent and full of air: "Old Song, look who is here?"

This title is really ironic. When they were young, both of them secretly competed with each other like that.For a moment, Ji Jian felt that there was a huge gap in time and space, as if he had just turned around and left yesterday, and Song Manzhi sent him to the train station with his bags on his back. His short black hair looked very graceful in the mist of the steamed stuffed bun shop in the early morning.Why did it become like this today? He was surprised to find that the years in between had become blurred, and the disappointment and depression that he thought he couldn't get over had become lighter and became the naked eyes in the air in this bright room. Visible dancing dust.

Song Manzhi walked over with small steps, graceful, if she didn't have that exquisite figure, others might think that she was about to sing a section of Tsing Yi when she opened her mouth, her hair was still so short, but her head was all white. It was unclear, but Ji Jian knew that this person was Song Manzhi.With a childlike face, she leaned up to take a look, then retracted, pointed at Ji Jian and asked with a smile, "Which one is this?"

"Your son, Xiao Ji, keeps talking about it every day. Do you remember when we met?" Zhao Fengqiu replied with a smile, pulling Song Manzhi forward, covering his mouth with one hand and whispering to Ji Jian: "Look, are you talking to a child?" Same."

"Mom, come here. I'll accompany you to the demolition office to go through the formalities, lest you lose your mind and forget things." Shao Youguang called her from the other side.

"Yes, I think I talk too much," Zhao Fengqiu blinked and smiled, "Then I'll go first, Xiao Ji, you are here."

As soon as Zhao Fengqiu left, Song Manzhi came forward and asked, "Are you Ji Jian?" She was not stupid, nor crazy, but her memory faded and she forgot many things, so that she felt that the person standing in front of her was really not very good. look familiar.

"Mom." Ji Jian finally went to hold her arm, and clearly touched the loose flesh.

Song Manzhi tilted her head, looked at her curiously, but said, "Ji Jian is not like this." The Ji Jian she imagined was probably the one who would ride to school on the back of his bicycle when she was a child.

"Where did Ji Jian grow up so tall? Are you not that Ji Jian?"

She said that she didn't recognize her, but she liked to hold Ji Jian's arm very much, and said mysteriously: "I'll show you the house where I live."

Ji Jian's eyes were sour. He found that he couldn't find any evidence that the mother and child recognized each other, so she had to drag him into the room. He saw that the furnishings were very simple. There was a bed covered with old-fashioned blue sheets with patterns of puppies. It was still at home when he was a child, a TV with a silk scarf on it, fringed edges, and the curtains were neatly drawn and tied at the same height.People of different ages always have different smells, this is true, because as soon as Ji Jian entered this room, he could smell the smell of old age, mixed with the smell of medicine, health care products for middle-aged and old people, and the musty smell of damp old things.

Then he saw a statue of Guanyin enshrined on the wooden cabinet, the one that ordinary people have, with a body made of white porcelain, with slender eyebrows and eyes, sitting on a lotus flower, twisting willow branches with hands, looking at them kindly.

Ji Jian's heart skipped a beat. For some reason, he seemed to be in a trance, as if he saw Song Manzhi when he was young, with the same white arms. In summer, he took a nap with a straw fan, covered his face, and babbled and sang on the radio next to him. Water mill cavity.

Song Manzhi suddenly called him: "Xiao Ji, you can read it with me."

Facing the statue, she muttered words, speaking quickly.While Ji Jian lost his mind in the unfamiliar "Xiao Ji", he found that he couldn't understand Song Manzhi's prayer at all.Then how to read it with her?He suddenly felt a sense of powerlessness. In the past, his mother chased him, but if he couldn't catch up, he wanted to leave. Now he came to his senses and chased Song Manzhi, but Song Manzhi didn't wait for him.There will always be such cruelty among them.He used to listen to her talk about all kinds of past life, always impatient, but now he can patiently look at her back and listen to her reading scriptures that he can't understand. They seemed shrunken, wrinkled, and aged.

Song Manzhi was very focused on reading. She turned her face when she finished reading. Her long eyebrows and round face were still the same as when she was young.Seeing the young man in front of her, she panicked and went to find some paper. She softly whispered, coaxing a child, "Oh, what are you crying for? I read well."

Later, when Zhao Fengqiu and Shao Youguang came back, Ji Jian asked Zhao Fengqiu what she was reading.

Zhao Fengqiu heard this and said, "Old Song is two different things now."

She tapped Ji Jian, "One is you," and tapped the room, "The other is Bodhisattva."

"But she only asks for one thing when she asks the Bodhisattva. She just prays for your well-being. She doesn't ask for anything else, but please be safe and well."

"Look, it's useful. Didn't this come back safely?"

Everything is indeed good. Song Manzhi is confused every day, and sometimes he is very sober. Once he clearly called him Ji Jian, and Ji Jian asked: "Which Ji Jian are you calling?"

Song Manzhi looked at him, puzzled: "Isn't it just Ji Jian?"

Ji Jian told this story to Shao Youguang, from which Shao Youguang said: "Aunt Song has a clear mind, and she is playing hide-and-seek with you."

Ji Jian secretly shed tears with Shao Youguang at night because of Song Manzhi's matter. He regretted that he had been missing for so many years.He thought, how could I not come back for seven years?He tried to ask, but he couldn't find the answer when he got out of that state of mind.

Shao Youguang rubbed his hair and hugged him into his arms, like stroking a cat.But it’s okay, all the fragility in front of the lover is allowed, and the next morning he wakes up as a good man, the past is in the past, crushed, swallowed, and live the present life well.

The compensation for the two houses is enough to buy a good house in a good location in this small town, enough for two old ladies to live, and there is one vacant room left, Zhao Fengqiu just laughed, and just let you come back to live. The eye is the Huaihe River.

Shao Youguang wanted them to live in Shanghai, and the money was enough for a down payment that year.

"I'm not going," Zhao Fengqiu refused without thinking, "I'm going to join in your fun? I've lived here all my life, and I'm used to it. I wouldn't be happy if I was asked to move. Besides, Shanghai can be my place." The way you think?"

Shao Youguang thought, indeed, Taipingli and other alleys have been demolished and rebuilt, it is not the same, and no one has listened to "Song of the Four Seasons", Zhao Fengqiu has always been thinking about a city that does not exist.

Later, on the day when the house was about to be demolished, Ji Jian and Shao Youguang went back to the small town again. At that time, Song Manzhi and Zhao Fengqiu had already settled down in their new home.

He came in the morning, and he was still in time. He found a lock picker and opened it for a long time before opening the door of Ji Jian's house.

The entrance is a landscape painting of green mountains and green waters, which has been wormed and darkened several times.Such a familiar house, but everything is covered in dust. Ji Jian fumbled here and there, seeing the cassettes he listened to, the magazines he read, and the ink bottles he used to feel.

The two of them also pulled out many memories from this. When mentioning Zhu Xiaohong, Ji Jian smiled and talked about the kiss when he was caught.

Shao Youguang suddenly realized, I said, we have not been in touch for a long time, and then she sent me a letter suddenly, saying that homosexuality is a normal thing throughout.I was still wondering at the time, and I said I didn't come out to her.

The two of them laughed so hard that their throats were choked by Ash, and Ji Jian said, let's have a meal with her sometime, since we haven't seen each other for a long time, let's show off.

After a while, Shao Youguang suddenly heard behind him call: "Hey? Ji Jian, look what this is."

Ji Jian leaned over and saw Shao Youguang pull out a book with a green cover from a pile of old books. It was very old, covered with stains, and the pages were thin and brittle.

"Ah," Ji Jian took it over and sighed softly, "So my mother didn't throw it away."

"What is it? A diary?" Shao Youguang leaned over to read it, but Ji Jian avoided him.

Ji Jian turned to the first page, read it for a while, and then raised his head and pointed to the sentence "The person I like is Shao Youguang" to show him.

"Look, I really like you for a long time."

Listening to his voice, Shao Youguang sensed an unobvious grievance.

"Now I know," he said.

This was the only lie he told Ji Jian.

There is still such a long time in the future, they will probably read this diary together, re-read all the things Shao Youguang has read and not read, and be happy and sad together for the trivial things of teenage years, and for the sake of who will have a crush on whom first. This issue has been debated for a long time.

In the evening, Zhao Fengqiu called to urge them to go back to the new house for dinner.

The demolition team has already started to work. They watched the huge objects collapse in the dark, making a huge roar, kicking up dust, and the rubble bursting and rising in the summer night. The shirtless workers shouted "one, two, three, one Two or three".

Only the Huaihe River remains unchanged, its wide strips come from a distance, swallowing and spitting sand, melting into the night, and flowing the whole night into a river.

Ji Jian held the diary in his arms.He suddenly remembered and asked, what will be built here in the future?

"I heard from my mother that it's either a nursing home or a cemetery. It's surrounded by mountains and rivers, so good Fengshui."

"Oh, that's it." Ji Jian smiled, life and death are just a ditch in the dust of the world,

Holding hands, they walked the road they walked every day when they were young, like two small dots next to each other.It seems that in such a space, there are countless Ji Jian and Shao Youguang walking together, some of them are still in their teens, and some of them are already gray-haired.In terms of breadth alone, the world is big enough, not to mention the space-time that is woven like a web, but how small it is-the smaller you are, the bigger the boundary.

This way home is also a way to go further, just like life and death are the front and back of human beings.As for nostalgia, when the fallen leaves return to their roots, and then rot, they become nutrients for the next spring to grow.

The old ones behind are torn down, breaking a life into pieces, and they move towards a new era, in which life or death is unknown, good or bad is also unknown.

But when they thought that immediately, in that house, it was only warm, and there were two mothers waiting for them to return home, they laughed.

After all, no matter how good or bad, it is nothing more than that.

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