captain migraine

Realizing that he seemed to have done something bad, Caesar turned his head and kept his eyes outside the window, pretending to look at the scenery.

"I'm absolutely right. I knew it when you showed off your big thick legs with the skirt on." Lake said shrewdly, "I wondered why there are dancers with such thick calves."

McGarr: "...girls who do lap dances have big legs."

Lake said he wouldn't believe half a punctuation mark: "You fart."

"Really," McGarr said seriously, "they need to lift their thighs frequently, hundreds of times a night, back and forth, and the leg muscles come out—like this—"

The dark-haired young man lifted his skirt and kicked his stiff legs like radio gymnastics.The little brush-like bristles on the white thighs that had grown back not long ago were particularly irritating when viewed from a distance. Standing next to him, Caesar was almost blinded by this scene, and his facial muscles twitched. The captain resisted. With the urge to throw him out of the window, he stretched out his hand and pulled McGall's skirt back to its original position, commanding in a deep voice, "Go and shave your legs."

McGarr: "Scratch again? Don't do it, it's a sign of being a man-why! Why!"

Caesar: "Shave the armpit hair too."

McGall: "..."

Caesar: "Keep asking, don't you want to ask why, don't you want to ask why?"

McGarr: "Don't ask, I'll scratch."

So he threw a blade to McGarr, and the captain and first mate sat comfortably on the sofa. McGarr held the blade and stood in the center of the captain's cabin, gesturing that it would be a good idea to put the blade on the neck—simply and neatly. Once it's over, you can still stay innocent in the world.

Caesar: "...by the way, wait, don't do it."

As if the prisoner who was sentenced to be electrocuted was notified of a power outage in the prison one second before the execution, McGarl suddenly turned his head and asked with anticipation, "What's wrong!"

Caesar: "Find an unused map and lay it out. Don't get the hair on my carpet, it's not easy to clean up."

McGall: "..."

Then the prison guard said that it’s okay, we can generate electricity artificially, even with a hand-operated generator, and we will send you on the road on time.

……

When McGarl bowed his head and shaved himself, Caesar finally showed mercy and explained the reason—it turned out that he needed a map, and that map had been collected by the Spanish royal family since its appearance, without rubbings, without If you want to get a copy, you have to take it from the Spanish emperor yourself—it’s okay if Caesar is a Spaniard, after all, there is always some subtle relationship between the pirates of his country and the royal family of his country, but the price of the Stormrage The standard code is the German fleet, which has an effect——

No matter how powerful Caesar was in the Mediterranean, in the eyes of the Spanish navy, there were two words carved on his face: pirates.

If you want to add an adjective in front, that is: pirates who must be caught and hanged on the gallows.

"However, money can make things go wrong," Caesar tapped the assistant on the sofa a little irritably, "In the letter of visit, I mentioned that I would exchange the map with the Spanish royal family with my three islands near Algiers... "

McGarl: "Wow, bleeding profusely."

"..." Caesar took a deep breath, "I found that you really have the ability to make people angry."

McGarr held up the blade and honestly made a shut-up finger.

"...I just received a reply a few days ago, and King Juan II is very interested in the deal I proposed." With a warning sideways glance at him, the man continued, "...but they proposed that they don't want me to take my people appeared on a large scale in the Spanish royal domain."

"And then?" McGarr sat on the ground, crossed his legs to check if he was shaved clean, then retracted this white and tender leg, and continued to croak with the other.

"..." Caesar paused for a moment in disbelief, and Reck, who was sitting next to him, patted him on the shoulder very understandingly.

"...Say it." Without looking up, the walrus officer shaved very seriously and didn't know what was going on, and urged, "It means to let you go ashore alone? You are not afraid that they will detain you as soon as you go ashore—just kidding , you are Caesar, I don’t know how face-saving it is to catch you.”

"There will be a symbolic dance on the day of the transaction," Caesar said, "Since there will be a dance, it will be no problem for me to have a dance partner--your skills are not bad at all." Those brats, McGarr was the closest to a woman's figure on the whole ship-it would be offensive to say it, and Caesar simply rotted it in his stomach cleverly.

"So you are not alone, are you going to drag me to the underworld?" McGar stopped his hands, raised his head, looked at Caesar very seriously, and then lowered his head to continue working after thinking about it, "Okay , I agreed. For the sake of your handsome appearance."

Regarding McGarr's boldness, Caesar was almost a little flattered - he thought that this guy's shameless personality would definitely raise the price, but he didn't expect him to...

"I thought you would refuse," Lake smiled, and spoke out the slander in his heart instead of the man, "When you jumped and undressed on Djerba Island, you were murderous on stage."

"Once a person breaks the jar, he will discover how wonderful the world really is. If he doesn't push himself, he will never know how good he is... Ah, yes, by the way, I want to emphasize again, you really misunderstood the person , What is a striptease, can it be eaten? Is it delicious? Does it melt in your mouth? I’m a decent kid from a decent family, and I’ve never danced that kind of thing—do you know how to do a Viennese waltz? I’m ashamed to show off, I’m the best at it.”

Stick to the revolutionary line of "I will not admit it even if you kill me", and go all the way to darkness.

McGarl tilted his head expressionlessly, and said innocently: "Now I'm going to start shaving my armpits, and the scene will be bloody and violent, which is very exciting. Do you two want to continue watching?"

Thirty seconds later, there was only McGarr in the captain's room sitting on the carpet in a skirt, with two legs sprawled out, and a scrapped nautical chart under his buttocks.

"Goodbye," he turned his back to the empty doorway, and yelled in mocking mode without looking back, "I wish you a long life."

……

Two days later, at a distance of about [-] nautical miles from Benidorm, Caesar's fleet encountered the Spanish navy. The other party dispatched more than ten state-of-the-art warships to meet the sea bully in the Mediterranean Sea. Dozens of gun salutes were fired to show etiquette.

Tsk tsk, how do you say that sentence——Xiaoba (cai) Wang (zhu) has infinite power! !

Caesar rarely took off his favorite captain's hat, which he snatched from the head of a Spanish naval officer a few years ago, and dressed like a dog.

When the two ships were about to be handed over, the poor Spanish navy didn't know that, on board the black waves, some walrus man was frantically putting a wig on his head with the help of the first mate.

"...It's the other way around! Fucking red hair, did you go out with your IQ today! Your hair is so long in front?——My shape is not suitable for dancing, it is suitable for crawling out of the mirror in the middle of the night!" Angrily The black long hair who doesn't know where the group of great gods got it turned straight, and when Rick was trying on the huge lace bows one by one, McGarr was busy applying something similar to lipstick on his lips——

"How?" He turned his head and pouted at Rick.

The first mate paused in his hand, and the bowknot almost poked the walrus officer's eyeball. He sincerely commented: "Bloody mouth."

"Very good, I want this effect." McGarl put down the messy cosmetics in his hands with satisfaction, and stabilized the wig on his head. The wig was fixed with a hairnet, the size was just right, and the long hair And the neat bangs covered the overly masculine contours of his face, revealing only his palm-sized face.

Too much powder was applied, and the powder fell down like a crack in the wall with a grin.

Opening the feather fan with a snap, covering half of his face, McGarl slapped it and asked Lake, "Does it look like a woman?"

"...It's okay."

"The answer is really reluctant." Do one line and love one line. As a successful person, even if he is pretending to be a woman, McGarr insists on pretending to be the most like.

"The captain may be given the title of 'Aesthetic Curiosity' from now on."

"It doesn't matter, when I bend him, he will get the title of 'not only looking for aesthetics but also liking men'."

"..."

Above, this is behind the scenes of the chicken flying dog jumping stage.

However, when dozens of salutes were fired in broad daylight and the opponent's army began to play music, the real good show was staged.

What appeared in front of all the naval officers was a belated oriental beauty—the visitor walked slowly, holding a fan in her hand to cover half of her face. He personally supported him all the way up, walked up to the leader of the Spanish navy, nodded slightly, and then the bird leaned on Caesar like a man.

The face of the chief of the navy is a little green.

... Fortunately, Caesar is tall enough.

Otherwise, the 1.7-meter-five "little bird" would look a little too big anyway, so it's not called a little bird, it's called Fat Chirp.

"Tell you not to wear such high heels, why are you disobedient?"

Turning his head, Caesar, with an impeccable smile, pretended to be intimately complaining about the beauty leaning on him, speaking in a moderate voice just enough for the naval leader on the opposite side to hear, McGarr raised his eyelids, and found that the face of this deceitful middle-aged man was Immediately became a little better - at least back to the standard of normal people.

McGarl slapped the fan and laughed shyly, pinching his throat.

It felt like the body he was holding was stiffened by the laughter, but the other party was someone who had seen big scenes, the smile didn't change, he turned his head and tapped the beauty's nose behind the fan: "Still laughing, naughty."

In fact, Caesar's finger was almost poking into McGarr's nostril.And, the translation of that sweet-smelling words should be: Smile so fucking cheaply, fuck off, throw you into the sea, garbage.

Life, isn’t it just knowing the weather ╮(￣▽￣”)╭.

"—Dear Sir Caesar, please."

In the loud music, the naval officer made a gesture of invitation, Caesar moved his feet, and dragged Megal to follow behind the middle-aged man, walking all the way, listening to the uncle chatting in front of him. nagging——

"I heard that you have been engaged in maritime business. The king attaches great importance to your sudden visit to our country this time."

... Maritime business?That's polite, well received.

"So in order to receive you better, our king specially spent a lot of money and invited a special advisor who is also engaged in maritime business—"

……kindness?

"I heard from Earl Leosa, you and him are also old acquaintances, I really hope that this time, our transaction can go smoothly-ah, Lord Earl, this way please."

Reosa? ...

Reosa! ! ! !

Bad review! ! !

The shaking fan stiffened suddenly, and McGarl didn't know how much effort he had to force himself to stand here honestly instead of jumping into the sea after taking off his shoes——

Smiling, the man calmly patted the walrus officer who was half nestled in his arms, stiff as a piece of time, and turned slightly sideways. When the navy leader was busy introducing Leosa from his ship, He lowered his head and whispered a sentence in McGaller's ear——

"take it easy."

So during the entire meeting, facing the beautiful Zhengtai face with a bright smile, McGarr couldn't muster up the courage to put down the fan that covered half of his face.

He is like an orthodox psycho, holding up a tattered fan, and raised it all morning in one fell swoop.