Retire from the human world

It is not uncommon for the cultivation world to go missing!

If it wasn't for the lack of aura, it would be impossible for practitioners of a sect to live together.If you don’t believe me, open the Romance of the Gods and have a look. The Taoists from the Three Mountains and Five Mountains came out and claimed that I am a disciple of Chanjiao, but I didn’t see them surrounding the dormitory of Yuxu Palace like a pigeon cage, didn’t I?

After all, the world of comprehension is different from the martial arts sect. There are 36 holes in the sky and 72 blessed places in the land of China. Those who are capable rarely stay in the sect's resident. Most of them choose their own land to build houses. The same sect is separated by three thousand miles, or there is no news of the master for more than 100 years. It's all normal.Who made the comprehension world a dead house?In addition to alchemy and retreat, another function of the Shanhai Tesco Supermarket Shopping Festival is to promote communication, so as to avoid embarrassing situations where the seniors don’t know the seniors, and the disciples and grandchildren have never seen the ancestors.

Who made the comprehension world full of the kind of guys who have been silent for decades (going to retreat), or suddenly appearing to show their power but no one has seen it before (Du Heng...), this is very problematic Under the current social situation, if you suddenly can’t contact your friends and colleagues, everyone will be very calm. Usually, try again after three to five days. If you’re in a bad mood, you’ll just forget about it. Anyway, after a few decades, your friends will suddenly show up, “Wow, I’m out of customs.” That’s all, it’s not worth worrying about.

——Compared with the speed at which modern civilization is changing with each passing day, the overall common sense in the cultivation world can't keep up.

"My patriarch, I've been in seclusion for 70 years. How can mortals start to live in such a tall house, which is even higher than my alchemy furnace? It's scary! Brother, help!"

Hey, Taoist priest, the ten-story alchemy furnace is scary, okay?

"Uh, I've only grown a sixth tail after 40 years of seclusion. Why are mortals dressed more openly than us fox demons? Is that cloth? It's cloth strips. I'm dead!"

Calm down, Lord Qinghu, why are you going to the beach?

"What are you guys, huh, before I went to bed, mortals were talking with a brick. After waking up, the brick they held had shrunk by two-thirds. I thought maybe I slept for too long, so I slept for a while when I went back to sleep. Years... As a result, they are now popular playing with chopping boards =dish=!"

Speaking of which, there is still a difference between a tablet computer and a mobile phone. You need to sign up for a cram school...

In the end, everyone in the comprehension circle said that this day cannot be passed. The examination questions for mortals are getting more and more difficult every year. Even if you get the sixth-level certificate, it will be valid for 50 years. The automatic cancellation of the ID card is said to be because the world is changing too fast-calm down, everyone, the accounting certificate of mortals also needs an annual inspection.

They are really unlucky. The seniors in the cultivation world have never been troubled by this kind of problem. The simple test of mortal household registration and road guidance hundreds of years ago is enough, and they can fly in the sky at will. It doesn't matter the font (anyway, there were many illiterates in ancient times), as long as you can recognize the silver and copper plates that were in use at that time.

Now whoever goes out and says that he doesn't know how to read, try it!

It's still that everyone can't become a fairy. If they ascended, it might be even more difficult. Maybe the official use of the heavens is oracle bone inscriptions, which is still behind the world of cultivation——

"So what's the point?!" Shen Dong asked extremely violently.

Elder Rizhaozong looked at the real person Baishu, the real person looked at Yu Kun, and Yu Kun looked at the floor.

"Ahem, the point is that there is no effective way to find someone in the cultivation world."

This point has been discovered since Du Heng was able to throw the sword for 100 years, so you don't need to say it! !

Shen Dong took a deep breath, and managed to smooth out the bulging veins on his forehead: He couldn't understand how unreliable the cultivation world was. Not on?!"

"Well, you have to know that there are some spells between the same sects as a link. Originally, you are...cough, I mean the relationship between sword repair and you is closer, but..." Yu Kun is still hesitating.

"Let's be honest, I know everything. This guy even taught me how to find a job with a sword." Shen Dong glanced sideways at the Kaishan Ax Spirit who was squatting and trying to pretend that he didn't exist.

"Ahaha, then we can talk about it, can't we?" Yu Kun stroked his thinning hair and smiled, "It was the thunder that split your connection. We don't know what's going on now, we have to Ask Du Heng, but given the special nature of your relationship, ahem, it is estimated that Du Heng used some small spells after meeting you again. Maybe he can know what happened to you now, but you don’t know him. How do I break the connection?"

The fairy-like Taoist priest looked at Yu Kun as if convulsed:

"Pindao cut him down?"

"Forget it then!" Yu Kun grabbed a tea coaster in the hotel room and began to wipe his sweat, some hair seemed to fall down, "The main reason is that Taoist Pogou is missing, and Du Heng's cultivation level is not good enough." We need to retreat, so we suddenly couldn't find him, and the contact spell didn't work, everyone felt very bad."

Shen Dong endured and endured, he thought that Yu Kun could figure out a solution after talking so much nonsense, he was really disappointed, even if he took a dog out to smell the smell and then look for it, it would be considered a bad idea!They didn't know what to do~!

"Liu Liu." Shi Liu said that the Tengu in the comprehension world does not have this kind of technology.

"Daoist Pohuo fell into the Netherworld, that's all I know." Shen Dong decisively interrupted Yu Kun.

"Actually, we would have guessed it even if you didn't tell me."

Daoist Baishu sat on the chair with a sad face, turned his fingers, and found a golden paper crane: "This is a common communication spell in the cultivation world. Unless you are retreating, it can be transmitted even at the bottom of the sea, but it is completely useless now. ..." The paper crane thumped twice before falling headfirst onto the carpet.

Shen Dong almost had the urge to step on the paper crane.

In the world of comprehension, the only thing that keeps pace with the times is probably the exam!

Should he be thankful that they didn't stay in the communication era of flying pigeons to send letters?

"You guys keep talking about the Netherworld, and the Wusi Ligui training class also talks about the Netherworld! I don't understand why you don't rush into the Netherworld to encircle and suppress it, instead of setting up a barrier outside Beimang Mountain. Yes, Dayu controlled the floods and knew that blocking is worse than dredging!"

It is a good habit to dispose of garbage regularly!

Since the death of ghost monsters can also fill up the aura of heaven and earth, then set a fixed time to kill them. If these monsters are locked up in a dark place and kill each other, this is raising Gu, and the consequences will be very serious.

How many countries in history have been ruined by the bad habit of standing still and passively responding to challenges!

Before Shen Dong could finish speaking, he noticed that all the "people" in the room had strange expressions on their faces.

"Here, you can't go!" Daoist Bai Shu was surprised.

"Yes, then you can't enter!" The elder of Rizhao Zong, who was only 1.3 meters tall, stared.

"Dangerous? Don't be kidding, I've been there, and I didn't find anything except the pitch black up, down, left, and right." Shen Dong said depressingly.

"You fell in by accident, right?" Kaishan Fuling laughed beside him, "As divine soldiers, of course it's easy for us to get out, but I guess you haven't heard of the three most effective suicide methods in the cultivation world."

"What's that?" It sounded weird.

"First, cross the tribulation collectively and let the thunder of the purple sky descend from the sky!"

"..."

"Second, try to destroy other people's most important things, such as Jianxiu's sword. The third is to rush into the Netherworld and start killing." Brother Ax seriously warned, "Understood, that's not fighting or courting death." !"

"why?"

Shen Dong couldn't understand that it wasn't the [-]th floor of hell, one would suffer disaster if one entered it.

"The ghost monsters are actually a bit more numerous and restless, but the ghost world has existed for a long time, not only the monsters thrown in by the cultivators, but also those gods in ancient times... Cough!"

This trash can lasts really long!

Yu Kun coughed dryly, and said with an embarrassed expression: "There are many sleeping guys in the depths of the Netherworld, and they have tyrannical temperaments. If the most terrifying one wakes up and joins the battle, the decisive battle at Beimang Mountain 100 years ago can be skipped. Let's just rest." Cai escaped home and nestled!"

Shen Dong looked at Yu Kun in disbelief:

"You can't either?"

"Yes, Du Heng can't either!"

Daoist Baishu nodded at the side: "All the people in the comprehension world can't win together!"

"What the hell is that?!"

"Xingtian."

"What?" Shen Dong digs his ears.

"It's the legendary Xing Tian who dared to go up to the sky alone to kill the Emperor of Heaven."

"..." Shen Dong was at a loss. In his impression, the Heavenly Emperor was always the Jade Emperor in Journey to the West, so useless!Starting from Monkey King, anyone can run to the sky to make trouble, and his degree of suffering is second only to the Dragon King of the East China Sea.

Brother Ax squinted: "It's not what ordinary people say. The Heavenly Emperor mentioned by cultivators refers to Xuanyuan Huangdi, an old senior in your profession, who fought with Xingtian for several days and nights with the divine weapon Xuanyuan Sword, and finally cut off his head. Claiming victory while others can't see... In the blink of an eye, many gods were sent to throw Xing Tian, ​​who was busy looking for his head, into the Netherworld. This enmity is deeper than the East China Sea, what do you think should be done?"

Since you are so powerful, why are you still fighting? Wouldn't it be better to just wash up and sleep and hide in the ground?Everyone is not a god, and you don't have a magic weapon in your hands, so don't talk about protecting the peace of the world. This kind of lines is the patent of comic heroes on the other side of the ocean.

"It's okay, it's not that serious, it's because of Xing Tian, ​​so even the Nether Realm won't count him as combat power at all." Shen Dong couldn't keep up with this logic, and asked stupidly: "Why?"

"Because he has no head, although the Old God replaced it, I mean, he has eyes and mouth again, but look, he has no nose, no ears!"

"..."

Xing Tian uses the breast as his eyes and his navel as his mouth.

So, really not! !

"People don't just have eyes and mouth, so he can't hear the sound, and he doesn't have the head to turn. He can only see the front. If he wants to see the side, he has to turn his body along with him. He can't look down without bending over! So even if Xing Tian wakes up, it’s fine, he’s either looking for a weapon, or looking for his own head, his ideal is to go to heaven to fight again after finding a weapon, he’s not interested in us!”

Shen Dong was speechless.

He already knew that the Nether world was not a group of reliable people, and the inability to win even such a scumbag world of comprehension was ironclad proof!

"But if you want to rush into the Netherworld to find trouble, then it's hard to say! Xing Tian has a bad temper, and he can chop you with an axe!"

"... Du Heng won't go?"

"Well, we don't know, maybe Daoist Pohuo was captured by other monsters in the Netherworld!" Elder Rizhao Zong said with his fingers, "For example, apart from the boss Xingtian, the second child in the Netherworld Also very powerful."

I'm going, it's not over yet!

Shen Dong interrupted him impatiently: "I'm living well now, which means that Du Heng is fine for the time being, and you said that you can't go to the Netherworld. Are we going to guard Beimang Pass?"

All the heads of the cultivation world in the room blinked and remained silent.

"Yu Kun, give me your phone!"

"what?"

"I said mobile phone, don't you think of making a phone call?"

"...Is this useful? I can't even find the spell!" Yu Kun muttered and took out an iPhone.

Well!Touching the screen to unlock is drawing a talisman again, a golden light flashed slightly, and then Yu Kun swiped the screen with his fingers like flying.

"Hello, the number you dialed is not in the service area..." What a normal system answer.

Yu Kun shrugged, the meaning was obvious, you see it!

As a result, a voice suddenly came from the mobile phone in the open palm:

"Hey?"

"..."

Elder Rizhao Zong leaned back on Brother Axe, Daoist Bai Shu tripped over a chair and fell to the ground, and the rest of the people also staggered. Yu Kun was so frightened that he threw away his mobile phone, but luckily it landed on the sofa.

Shen Dong rushed out and picked up the phone, roaring angrily:

"Aren't you not in the service area?"

"I'm not in the service area and I can't answer the phone. Is there any necessary connection?" Du Heng asked.

This is a mobile phone modified by the Mohists in the cultivation world. It can be used in places without satellites.

Shen Dong: ...

The heads of the cultivation world got up and thought deeply: Actually, this is not our fault. There were no mobile phones 100 years ago, right?