I wanted to usurp the throne, and I eloped with the leader Zai

Osamu Dazai, are you still crazy after all?

"Osamu Dazai, are you stupid? We've been married a long time ago."

I slapped his hands away, and said contemptuously.

This tone is really flattering, with a sense of deceiving a pure and cute little girl and scum, casual and lazy, without the self-consciousness of being a port mafia leader.

Osamu Dazai in front of him was stunned, and tilted his head again in doubt, "Huh?" Then, as if he heard some earth-shattering words, he pointed at himself tremblingly with wide-eyed eyes.

"I, I, we, knot, married!!!"

The black-haired young man who was accidentally smashed down by the heavyweight information showed a shocked expression of being hit by billions of dollars, a rare expression of a rebellious child who was overwhelmed by the teacher's reward and at the same time was a little shy. language function to organize vocabulary.

"Is that the one, the elder brother decided to accept me, or is it Caramel girl, you plan to really give Majin-kun a hat?!"

Looking at Dazai Osamu's upper body with a blank face, my heart is not fluctuating, and I even want to get my hair done.

What nonsense, more and more immature, I really want to kick him to the sink to sober up.

I calmed down and suppressed the anger of punching him, and repeated word by word: "Think about it with your flooded head, if we weren't married, why did you sleep with me last night?" bed?"

He replied in seconds: "Isn't it because you are a waste of bronze, daughter of caramel, and you want to let the king, Dad, take you to play games?"

I:"……"

Damn, this guy is impeccable!

Quietly scanning the surroundings, Osamu Dazai, who was emotionally unstable, seemed to realize something, his eyes turned slightly, and he quickly calmed down at a speed that ordinary people could never achieve. In the pocket of the sand-colored windbreaker, the slight smile was a little more imperceptibly alienated, and he rubbed his chin to ask and answer.

"So that's how it is, hundreds of millions of impossible possibilities..." He took a deep look at me, flashed a complicated smile, and said, "Should I say stupid or paranoid?"

I don't know what he was laughing at through the thin air. After a while, Dazai Osamu, no, it should be said that the black-haired young man in another parallel world became depressed visible to the naked eye, sighed deeply, and seemed to have missed it. Hundreds of millions of voices bit the small handkerchief unwillingly to vent their dissatisfaction.

"Damn it, I should have thought of it a long time ago. If it was the caramel girl, she would come over angrily and cry and punch her fists. This hairstyle is wrong, and she won't show a silly smile. She is very smart at first glance. The taste is also very good, and the temperament is also very elegant..." Hey, aren't you really belittling your daughter?

"And..." He stared at a certain part of me with resentment, his eyes were like fire, and he gritted his teeth and thought, "That's great, that guy, why is there such a big gap between Zai and Zai! Is it too late to go back to stew papaya now... "

I always feel that this Dazai...

Good dog.

However, incredible information was obtained.

The pink smoke appeared in vain. The original Osamu Dazai accepted my bullet as soon as he came back, and immediately leaned back to dodge it with his keen intuition. If he was a second slower, he would be smiling.

"Ma'am, calm down!" Osamu Dazai, who knew he was wrong and was out of breath after running a few steps, raised his hands helplessly in front of me like ants provoking an elephant.

"of course can."

Nodding my head, I fired a few more shots, each hitting Osamu Dazai's cuff, hair, and trouser hem against the ground, and another shot grazing the side of Osamu Dazai's face, leaving a red mark.

This is already my greatest mercy.

Quickly replenishing the ammunition, I wiped the edge of his body and fired a few more shots. Osamu Dazai has been approached by me to the depths of the adjacent alley. His thin body is clinging to the wall. Porcelain brittle faces flow like strawberry cake with jam.

I really want to crush the cake and squash it into the trash can.

"Ma'am, I was wrong, things are not what you think, the one just now is actually just my same name and surname, and looks like me." Osamu Dazai tried to linger on his last breath, and even resorted to lies to lie to children.

"Really?" I played with the gun indifferently, "Please don't worry, I don't mean to blame you."

"No, it's obvious that you are blaming me, and you want to get rid of me right away!"

"No, I'm just thinking about how to explain to God."

"Are you going to make me think about my last words? How ruthless!"

Contrary to my gradually widening ruthless smile, Osamu Dazai's face became paler and paler. I stretched out my foot and kicked his calf expressionlessly. Dazai Osamu, who was far inferior to me in physical skills, immediately groaned and half-kneeled on the ground , looking up at me innocently while clutching the injured part, the cold muzzle of the gun pressed against his forehead again.

"Husband... caramel sauce, it's not good to put this dangerous thing on my husband's head." Osamu Dazai watched me move the gun away with lingering fear.

Throwing away the pinched and deformed gun, I sighed in disappointment: "It's too fragile, anyone from Pengo Li can knock you down, you really have nothing but wisdom and beauty."

"It's meaningless for you to live anyway, why don't I help you end this boring life." He kicked hard on the wall to his left, and spider web-like cracks spread from the center. With a flashing knife, I discussed with him in the tone of talking about how good the weather is today, "It just so happens that tomorrow is the non-recyclable garbage disposal day, that's great."

I half-closed my eyes: "Let me give you salvation."

"Physically."

Glancing quietly at the miserable situation beside him, Osamu Dazai said weakly, "I'm so humble in caramel sauce."

What is this guy talking about? In my mind, he is almost catching up with Dino's green fur turtle.

After decades of fighting Pengo Lie, I was actually tricked by the black mud spirit. If I was passed on to my teacher, I could commit suicide and apologize. I thought it was a mentally twisted leader who played an abnormal game. The ghost knows that this cheater is playing a stand-in, Isn't this a substitute for each other?

I use you as a substitute, but you use me as another person's substitute, are you buying one cabbage and getting one free?

Unforgivable, my self-esteem does not allow me to be so humble, I simply took the opportunity to kill him and erase the black history.

"Sigh, I'm just talking to myself and playing tricks on people, treating everyone as fools and pretending to be a housewife for you."

"No!" Osamu Dazai, who had always been calm, suddenly became agitated. Regardless of the danger of his throat being cut, he held my hand. The black-haired young man knelt down on one knee, and his beautiful kite eyes were slender and fragile. , "I only like the caramel sauce now. Indeed, I was testing you at first, but now I'm really serious about you."

"I thought it would be fine as long as a person walks alone at the end that can't be seen, but people always have desires, and they can't accept the pain of losing when they get it. I want to hug you all the time, no, I am completely In vain as the carrier of human death and despair, I can't expect the warmth that the world can easily get, even for a second..."

Slightly closing his eyes, he seems to be restless and anxious, with a panicked expression like a dying and whimpering cat abandoned in the rain. Passers-by, maybe passers-by have no intentions, but the cat can find a short-term peace.

"Death can freeze everything you get, sorry, it's very selfish, but I really don't have time..."

"..." This feeling of heaviness overwhelmed me, and my heart was pulled hard in vain. It was not out of pity for the person in front of me, but an extremely familiar and indescribable feeling.

There has never been a similar scene, and I, who have lived on the blood of my dearest relatives until now, seem to be in no position to refute him.

"Please look at me." Slowly straightened his body, sighed and dissipated in the wind, he closed his eyes, his weak and fragile tone was like white paper floating in the wind, which would be blown to pieces.

"Wait..." I have never seen Osamu Dazai with such a big mood swing, it is better to say that I am not good at dealing with anyone in this situation, the kind of black hole that is about to suck people away, unexpectedly looks very sincere With such an expression, he panicked for a moment, and the knife in his hand fell to the ground along the loosened fingers.

The person in front of me didn't give me any chance, a thin and slender hand stitched together along the fingers, at the same time, the other hand gently pulled my hand and put it on his cheek. Bottomless.

"As compensation, I will satisfy you. You like the leader's seat very much. Don't worry, it belongs to you. No one can take it away. I have already arranged everything." A smile overflowed from his throat. His expression is like a passer-by walking mechanically among all living beings, out of place in the gray world, as thin as a piece of paper.

"So, please keep looking at me..."

Hearing the extremely humble request, I almost left holding my breath, and even thought of turning my head and leaving immediately.

? ? ?No, no, you've been talking to yourself, and you don't understand the life philosophy of what you said at all, why should I look at you, shouldn't I be threatening you now, why do you look like a little girl who has been in love with you for many years? The girl confessed shyly, at least pay attention to the atmosphere, hey! ! !

What is this, aren't we a cooperative relationship? Why are you biting your lip and pretending to confess your true feelings for fear of being let down?

Wait, what are you looking at me seriously, is it possible that I still have to answer your confession?

In less than a second, my instinct followed the first instruction from my brain, and my stiff body moved.

Then he kicked Osamu Dazai aside with a crisp kick, made a 180° turn with his heel, and ran towards the exit without a trace of hesitation.

I ran away.

It ran very cleanly.

And haven't looked back at all.

First of all, let me clarify that this is not a flight, but a strategic retreat.

Really, really, really oh! ! !

Running on the side of the road with difficult steps, the only reason I had left was to call Lanbo who caused the trouble, educate him for a long time, and tell him to either go to work in the Cowherd's shop, or go back to Italy for my mother, anyway, don't be here Yokohama, otherwise he will suffer after returning.

"Well, Cecia, don't blame me for the failure of the ten-year rocket launcher, you..."

Lan Bo hadn't finished explaining, I hung up decisively, put my hands in my pockets and walked out at a pace that my relatives didn't recognize, and walked quickly on the road, trying to get rid of the messy atmosphere in my head, and almost fell into the pool by the side of the road when I turned a corner.

Since then, the relationship between me and Osamu Dazai has dropped to zero, and that guy has adopted a cold war strategy. Of course, this is my unilateral judgment. After my analysis, Osamu Dazai is 100% in a cold war with me.

Either in the hole in the office table, forming a ball with hands and knees to grow mushrooms, or spreading the quilt alone on the floor like a victim of campus violence, daring to speak out while sleeping, and revealing a pair of innocent eyes from above the quilt Looking directly at me, I found that I was playing games with a blank face and finally closed my eyes, and then miraculously shrunk into a caterpillar and rolled onto my bed in the middle of the night, scaring me half to death who was cultivating immortals and playing games.

Even Nakahara Nakahara, who has a lot of nerves, can see that there is something wrong with us. He once pulled me to ask Dazai Osamu what happened recently. I told him frankly that Dazai Osamu is gay and wants to follow the unspoken rules. He is asking me to recommend candidates .

The specific evidence is that one day I saw Osamu Dazai stalking a red-haired man with a scruffy beard, he was hesitating to talk like a little girl who had a crush on him.

Of course, I wasn't following Osamu Dazai, I was just observing the target, and I didn't care that my cheap husband was secretly following an uncle.

As I said that, I stared at Nakahara Nakahara, who also had orange-red hair.

Maybe it was because the dangerous gaze was too explicit, Zhongyuan Zhong immediately let me go and ran away, as if there was a scourge behind him.

Turning my head, I found Osamu Dazai's little hoof childishly huddled in the corner where I was talking with Chuya Nakahara, staring at Chuya Nakahara's leaving back. His white fingertips almost scratched the wall and hissed. The sound of hissing vipers defending territory.

It's over, I really don't understand Dazai Osamu's female high school student who is in a sensitive period.

It has been a week since I had a cold war with Osamu Dazai (in my opinion).

During this period, I kept praying that Osamu Dazai would be hammered to death by Nakahara Chuya at the meeting. Unfortunately, it has not come true so far.

This zero-point relationship remained until yesterday.

Congratulations, since I had an in-depth exchange with Osamu Dazai yesterday, our relationship has finally broken through the zero point and successfully dropped to below zero.

Yesterday I accidentally fell into the pool and caught a cold. Osamu Dazai found out that he was holding the medicine and suspected that he was going to poison me to death, so the tragedy happened.

As we all know, I am an emotional killer.

Strictly trained killers have a cold that is different from ordinary people. Ordinary people just lie on the bed and weep sadly alone when they catch a cold, but my wolf-killing will return to the beast instinct of human blood.

Demolish the house directly——

All in all, when Pan Jinlian Dazai wanted to poison me with the medicine, I, who was about to be led by a dog a second ago, followed my instinct and picked up the slippers under the bed with a murderous spirit...

traded him--

The author has something to say: I didn't expect this article to exceed expectations, so I have to control it.

There are a few extras, let me go over them.

happy new year~