memory castration

Half an hour later, Li Xinlong came back carrying his things, but Xiao Ziqi got up to take a shower, glanced at me meaningfully, and said, "I've already had dinner, you guys can eat."

Li Xinlong was keenly aware of the strange atmosphere, put the dishes on the plate and asked, "What did you say just now?"

I blinked and denied, "I didn't say anything."

He absently handed me the chopsticks, "Eat it, I wanted to bring you beef rice, but that shop has closed."

I couldn't help asking curiously: "What do you think about what Xiao Ziqi said just now?"

With long eyelashes drooping, he said softly, "Eat the vegetables first, it will get cold later."

"Don't change the subject, do you want to go to Jiangcheng?"

"Huiji's braised quail eggs are delicious, try it..."

After being pushed away annoyed by me, the quail eggs rolled onto the table, he stretched his lower lip, peeled another one and put it in my bowl.

I suppressed my irritability, "Can you stop doing this? What are you planning to tell me and let me hear it! What's the matter if you're bored in your heart?"

He put down his chopsticks and called me softly, "Xiaobai, I want to..."

"What do you think! Tell me after you think about it!" I interrupted him fiercely.

The living room fell into death-like silence. After looking at each other for a long time, he said gently but firmly, "I want to go to Jiangcheng."

These words pierced my heart like a needle, and I tried hard to control the urge to flip the table, "Do you know that they don't care about you at all, they just use you as a tool to fight for family property!"

He wiped his hands, stretched out his arms to wrap around me, and said calmly, "I know."

"Go after knowing? You are sick! Although life in Ninghai is dull, but with me, we can work together..."

"But I'm afraid..."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Since I was young, the things I like have been in the hands of others. Now Xiao Bai is also coveted by Xiao Ziqi. I am afraid that one day in the future, you will follow him."

There was a rush of heat in my chest, "What are you thinking about all day, you idiot? I told you I wouldn't like Xiao Ziqi. Stay in Ninghai, and the money left by grandma will allow us to go to college. You can earn money while working part-time, and find a stable job after graduation. Didn’t you say you want to get married? I’ll marry you, and when we save enough money, we’ll travel to Egggarson to get married... okay?”

He hugged me without speaking, not saying a word.

My enthusiasm slowly turned cold in his arms, and finally I said in disappointment: "You have already made up your mind, right?"

He kissed my lips, whispering like a dream, "Xiaobai..."

"Knowing that the prospect of going to Jiangcheng is uncertain, you still want to go...won't you stay for me?"

"Give me five years, and then I will let Xiaobai live in a big house and live a better life..."

"I don't need these!"

Five years, how many things can be changed in five years?Based on how I am now, who can guarantee that I will still remember him five years from now?

"Xiaobai, don't do this, I feel uncomfortable seeing it."

"Get out!" I broke his hand angrily, and taunted me: "Are you uncomfortable? Aren't you curious about what I said to Xiao Ziqi just now? Let me tell you now, we made a bet, and if he loses, he will go to the river." I ran around naked, and if I lost, I would take off my clothes and show him, now it seems that I lost."

What Xiao Ziqi said was right, I just fell in love with a tender boy, but I didn't understand his essence at all.The Longlong I know smiles shyly when he is happy, and sheds tears when he is sad, just like a child who does whatever he wants and never knows how to hide his emotions.

But who is this person in front of him?Abandoning everything for ridiculous money interests, knowing that the hope is slim, he still throws all his eggs in one basket and tries. After knowing our bet, he will not give in, even if he deceives and coaxes me... But maybe he is right, No matter how indifferent that pair of superb couples are to him, they are still his parents in name, so what am I?We are only 15 years old and have not experienced any setbacks and pains. What can I expect him to do for me?

After making up my mind, I glanced at him, went into the bedroom, dug out the backpack, and stuffed my clothes into it.Although his hands kept moving, there was still a little hope in his heart.

He stood at the door and looked at me, looking sad and sad, but he didn't have a word of comfort.

I don't blame him, but I can't help hating myself, what about getting married, what about I will take care of you in the future... The promises made when I was young were just jokes, how could you take them seriously, Fang Yibai, you are a big fool!But fortunately, we only kissed a few times, and there is still time to rein in the horse.

"I'm sorry to trouble you these days," I took out a few banknotes from my pocket, "These are the previous rent, bye."

He took the money, his eyes were red and his fingers trembled slightly, watching my tears rolling in my eyes, "Xiaobai, how could you do this to me?"

"Then what else do you want? Kiss goodbye? Okay!" I smiled and kissed him on the lips, "Longlong, I wish you a bright future and great wealth, but... if we can meet each other in our lifetime, please Don't bother me again."

Several lights on the side of the road were broken one after another. I stumbled back home on my bicycle. After I opened the door, I smelled a familiar smell.

But thinking that it will be demolished in a few months, I can't help laughing.

The quilt hadn't been exposed to the sun, it was a little damp, and it was very cool to stick to my body. I shrunk my body and slowly buried my head.

Go to sleep, go to sleep... Maybe it will be difficult if you want to sleep here in the future?

I woke up with dark circles under my eyes in the morning, and I was shivering after washing my face with cold water, when there was a knock on the door unexpectedly.

I hesitated and opened the door, and saw a

Yang Wenxiong, with a happy face, "Finally caught him! Last night when I got up to pee in the middle of the night, I saw someone passing by on his own car. It looked like you from a distance!"

I laughed, "Nonsense, your house is so far away from the main road, how could you see me?"

"Hey, I can't make a dime for bragging with you!" He came over and put his arms around my neck, "Lock the door and follow me."

I wondered, "Where are you going?"

Yang Wenxiong said: "It's boring to be alone on New Year's Eve. My dad asked me to come over and ask you to eat dumplings together to watch the New Year."

I was shocked, "What day is the lunar calendar today?"

"New Year's Eve, are you stupid?"

"Wait, I... don't need to go there, just buy some quick-frozen dumplings and cook them tonight."

"Come on, what are you pretending to do, and you won't be charged! Besides, if you don't complete the task assigned by my dad, you will have to find a way to beat me when you go back. By the way, my mother even made you a new set just like mine. Clothes, go try on."

I locked the door and followed him in a daze.After a few steps, he suddenly said: "By the way, when I came, I seemed to see your Longlong sitting in his cousin's car, and seemed to be crying."

Sure enough, I still left... That's the only problem with me, I can't make up my mind completely, I know that things are impossible, but I still have a little hope, even if the bubble is popped, I will never despair.It's like who did I treat that before?I can't think about it anymore, anyway, I was very kind to him at that time, and after being abused for many years, I was still led away by him with his fingers.

I spent the Spring Festival this year at Yang Wenxiong's house. On New Year's Eve, his father drank a few more cups when he was happy, and then went crazy... beat us both up, and then knelt at the door with both backs.

"Uncle Yang, I'm Yibai!"

"It was you who beat me up! Don't think that I didn't know that I didn't know that I was fighting outside with Yang Wenxiong... You keep telling me that I was fooled by you brats? Kneel down! Before the firecrackers are set off in the early morning, who will you be?" Don't even get up!"

Yang Wenxiong's mother is a tough woman, but she is as docile as a sheep in front of Uncle Yang, probably because she is used to such things, and walks past us without blinking.

I was depressed and wanted to scratch the wall, "Yang Wenxiong, you didn't say that Uncle Yang would come here when you came here."

He glanced at me dissatisfied, "Be content, every year today is my dad's billing day... Your injury is much lighter than when you beat me."

"If you two little bastards talk again, I'll make you kneel in the yard!" Behind him, Uncle Yang roared with his tongue out.

The two of us immediately fell silent, we were relatively speechless, only weeping Qianxing.

Kneeling for most of the night, our knees were too stiff to bend when we got up.

The next day, Uncle Yang woke up very guilty and gave me twice as much red envelope as Yang Wenxiong as a token of comfort.

Playing firecrackers in the second day of junior high school, one of Yang Wenxiong's fingernails was blown off by mistake. I was a little bit luckier, only to be covered in cow dung by a child.

This Spring Festival, Li Xinlong's departure did not cause me any harm. We had a sad and happy life.

After the term started, Li Xinlong's position was empty. In the new semester, I was elected as the class monitor, and I won the pony-tailed deputy monitor with an overwhelming number of votes.

In order not to be fined to kneel during the Spring Festival next year, I did not participate in any fights.Yang Wenxiong is still rain or shine, and has gradually become famous on the street, but he always complains to me that being alone is boring, and tries to lure me into a gang.

In April, the home of my grandma and I was finally demolished. With generous compensation, everyone around us was overjoyed, wishing we could quickly add two more floors to the dilapidated building.

When the old elm tree was pushed down, I stood outside the safety line and watched. I couldn’t cry, but I felt that my life seemed to be missing a section, and I would never be able to return to the integrity of the past. Maybe this is the pain of growing up. ?

I rented a small but clean house near the school. I got up on time at six o’clock every day without being urged, went to work in a nearby restaurant on time after school, and got regular subsidies from the school for good grades.

Li Xinlong's name is being mentioned less and less, as if it has been completely forgotten by everyone.

In July, I was admitted to the best high school in Ninghai with the top score, and the school rewarded me with 5000 yuan.

I spent 15 years old in Ninghai, my favorite place. Without Li Xinlong and Xiao Ziqi, life is still happy and exciting.

Some people have different pursuits, and they are destined not to be together for too long.

In the second year of living alone, I picked up a little girl on the way from school. She was born with a cleft lip. In the evening, her eyes were as smooth as glass balls. Many people gathered around to watch, and the old woman bought milk and gave it to her, but No one took her away.

I carried her to Yang Wenxiong's house, and Aunt Yang was about to cry with excitement after taking her. She had always wanted a daughter, but unfortunately she was unable to do so due to physical reasons.

After discussing with the whole family, we decided to name the girl Xiaomi, which is cute and simple.Mother Li said that she will take her for surgery when she saves enough money in the future. Xiaomi has a beautiful face and eyes, and she will definitely be a beautiful girl when she grows up.

Although she always drinks from her lips, Yang Wenxiong and I take care of her patiently. Only when we are in front of Xiaomi can we act like a responsible brother.

Every weekend I go to see Xiaomi, she is very good, she always grabs my fingers with her little hands, trying to talk.

At the same time, I was also working hard to save money, hoping to do my part for this sister in the future, but there were always people who didn't know the current affairs came in and messed up my plans.

On the last day before the summer vacation, I saw Xiao Ziqi again at the school gate.