memory castration

When we were confronting each other, the female assistant carefully brought tea and snacks over, but when she realized that the atmosphere was not right, she immediately hid away.

Xu Yifei's eyes circled around my body, and finally his eyes rested on my neck, and the corners of his mouth slightly pursed.

Murderous!I immediately became vigilant, but was firmly clamped by his hands like steel pliers.

"Xu Yifei, this is Ninghai!"

"So what? Do you think you can fight me with Yang Wenxiong as your backer?"

"Who doesn't know that young master Xu is so powerful, how can I, a commoner whose life is like a grass weed, dare to overestimate my own strength?" I gave up my escape, and my face turned into the calmness before death.

He reached out and clasped my chin, "Fang Yibai, your wings are getting harder and harder, you actually talk to me like this..."

It turns out that even today, he still thinks that I don't have the right to have an equal dialogue with him.

When I was younger, I used to regard money as dung and power as nothing. After being with Xu Yifei, I began to try to peel off my vulgar skin, sharpen my head, and try to squeeze into his circle of life.

But they don't know that the native chickens are still domestic animals when they arrive at Fengchao, and they will be despised by others if they lose their self.

People are respected because of their self-respect. Lovers get seven points most, and the remaining three points should be reserved for themselves. Otherwise, it is self-deprecating and self-deprecating. It is a pity that I have not understood this truth until now.

Xu Yifei said displeased: "What are you laughing at?"

"I laugh at you for having high self-esteem but ignorance of self-knowledge. It's true that you have money in your hands." I pointed to the old beggar outside the glass window and said, "But in my heart, you are no different from him. You used to insult me ​​and scold me. It doesn't matter, because I liked you back then. Now if you move my finger again, I will pay back this debt even if I lose my life."

He was furious, raised his fist but was grabbed from behind, Xiao Ziqi frowned and said, "Xu Yifei, what do you want to do to Xiaobai?"

The situation was suddenly reversed, and I instantly changed from a party to a bystander.

Xu Yifei stared at us with a livid face, like a green-capped tortoise who has successfully caught a rape.

Xiao Ziqi protected me behind him, his face was calm and there was no trace of tension.

"Xiao Ziqi, get out, this is none of your business!"

"I won't let you hurt Xiaobai."

Xu Yifei raised his hand and punched him in the face, "What right do you have to say that?"

"Don't be so childish, okay?" Xiao Ziqi rubbed the corner of his mouth, "You and Xiaobai have already broken up, why can't you be friends calmly?"

"Who wants to be friends with him?!" Xu Yifei and I shouted in unison.

"Even if you don't want to be friends, you don't need to be enemies, right?" Xiao Ziqi sighed, "Forget it, I won't interfere in your affairs, Xiaobai, can you go?"

"it is good."

Xiao Ziqi took my hand naturally, and his intuition told me that I should shake it off, but I didn't.

His body temperature is not high, a bit cold, but his fingers are slender and soft, but it is very comfortable to hold.

"Xiao Ziqi, thank you just now."

He was a little surprised, and then smiled lightly, "It's nothing, it's all I should do, if Xiaobai feels guilty, why don't you give me a loving comfort?"

The half-truth and half-false tone made it hard to tell whether he was joking, Xu Yifei struck hard, and although the corners of his mouth did not bleed, they were a little swollen.

Knowing that Xu Yifei must be watching from behind, I still seemed to be possessed, and kissed him on the lips in a strange way.

The moment he was about to leave, Xiao Ziqi suddenly turned his back on the client and regained control. He kissed me so deeply that I couldn't breathe before letting go. Fortunately, the street was remote and cold and there were no pedestrians.

"Little Bai's face is flushed, and he looks so cute now."

"What...you shut up!"

After sitting in the car, the heat on my cheeks was still rising. As the melody of the saxophone sounded, the atmosphere in the car became more and more ambiguous.

"What did you talk to the doctor about just now? What did she say?" It's all the damn Xu Yifei's fault, I forgot to talk to the doctor.

Xiao Ziqi said with a smile: "The doctor said that I am a good man who is infatuated. I want you to cherish it and grasp it. Once you miss it, you will never find it again."

I cursed in my heart, "Is this a lie you made up yourself?"

He blinked and successfully shifted the focus of the topic, "This is my mental word."

Just as I was about to speak, the phone rang suddenly, showing a string of unsaved numbers on it.

Xu Yifei...why did he call me?

The bell rang persistently for a long time, Xiao Ziqi finally asked curiously, "Why didn't Xiaobai answer it?"

I took a deep breath and pressed the answer button hesitantly. Xu Yifei's voice sounded like it came from hell, low, gloomy and full of resentment, "Fang Yibai..."

He only said one sentence, but it made my ears ring for a long time. When I came back to my senses, there was already a blind voice.

Xiao Ziqi saw that my expression was not right, so he asked concerned: "Are you uncomfortable? Or something happened?"

I shook my head quickly, "No, that person made the wrong number."

The car drove smoothly on the highway, and the trees on both sides rushed past.

I squeezed the back cover of the phone hard, and said in a difficult voice: "Xiao Ziqi, you said you like me, right?"

"Yes." He nodded without hesitation.

"But you never told me why, why do you like me? What do you like about me?"

When we met for the first time, I was fourteen and he was seventeen. They were still teenagers who didn't know much about the world, but since then he has treated me very differently.

Even after I asked repeatedly, he never revealed a single word.

His inexplicable and persistent love, the messy picture album, and the phrase "I have loved you for 18 years" that I used to joke...all are mysteries.

"Is there a reason to like someone?"

"Of course!"

"Then why do you like Xu Yifei?" He asked me in a flat tone, "Is it because he is more handsome? Rich? Or is it because he treats you well?"

I said angrily: "Now we are talking about the matter between us, don't mention him."

"Well," he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, "if I have to give a reason, it's probably because you are you."

"not understand."

"If you like someone because of a certain characteristic, when the same characteristic appears in others, you may empathize with others. I will not, I only like you, no matter what you become, my feelings Nothing will change."

I've heard this kind of morbid argument before. In layman's terms, it's called falling in love.

He didn't like me, but fell in love with the feeling of liking me. As for who I am, a criminal, a tree by the roadside, or a dog...it doesn't matter.

So he doesn't mind what kind of person I am or what I will become, as long as I am Fang Yibai, he likes it.

I was just someone who happened to show up when he needed to vent his feelings, that's all.

If it was in normal times, I might still be in the mood to talk to him about the origin and solution of this feeling, but now I don't have it. What Xu Yifei said is all over my mind, over and over again...

After returning to the residence, I dug out a pack of cigarettes from the drawer to smoke. It was put here by Yang Wenxiong, who would sometimes come over to watch football games with me.

I like to see a man smoking a cigarette, putting one in the corner of his mouth and not talking, it looks very tasty.

But I always smoked badly, my posture looked stupid and filed, and I was teary like a fool.

But it's better than sitting in a daze, my head is about to explode right now, Xu Yifei, that bastard, why would he say such inexplicable things to me!

In the evening, Yang Wenxiong knocked on the door and came in, surprised: "What's wrong with you? Because Jiang Xiaohu resigned and went back to his hometown?"

"No, I saw Xu Yifei today, and I was a little annoyed."

He put his coat on the sofa, and sat on one side with a carefree attitude, "It will be annoying in the future, that second generation ancestor really stretched out his claws in Ninghai. Stop twitching, you look like a resentful woman. "

"I've been a little bored recently," I stubbed out my cigarette, "I want to go out and play for a few days."

He shook his head, "Where are you going?"

"Go to Weiss to see Xiaomi."

"I am coming too!"

"What if you go to business?"

"Business is a bird. It won't collapse after a few days. You can't make money. I haven't eaten my mother's cooking for a long time. I'm really panic..."

Originally we planned to go to Weiss for the Spring Festival, but the renovation and opening were postponed and no one was free, and now we are finally free, and it is good to go out to relax, otherwise I would be really blocked.

Weiss is known as the Kingdom of Diamonds. The air is humid and spring-like all the year round, and the medical facilities are also very good. It is very suitable for the elderly to live in.

Xiaomi didn't see me for so long that I couldn't recognize him at all, but he was very obedient. He came over and kissed me softly on the face, "Hello, brother."

Her cleft lip repair surgery was very successful, leaving no scars at all. Now she has just turned nine years old, and she is already very cute and cute.

Aunt Yang cooks in person, and Yang Wenxiong and I help out by washing the vegetables. The atmosphere in the room is warm and happy.

During the meal, Aunt Yang continued to pick up food for me, "It must be because I don't eat well, or I will lose weight like this!"

"The food outside is not good. If I can taste like you, I will definitely be able to grow white and fat."

Xiaomi has a small amount of food, so after eating a little bit, he went to chase the kitten to play.

Aunt Yang saw that my eyes had been following her, so she was relieved and said, "If I hadn't had this child by my side, I don't know how I would have survived this day, and I have to thank Yibai."

"You have worked so hard, and I have caused you trouble. I should be grateful to you."

After the two chatted about some parents, Aunt Yang suddenly sighed and said, "Your life is also hard, and you have been alone since you were a child... Have you ever thought about looking for your parents?"

parents?They are blank in my concept, and the whole community knows that I am an abandoned baby picked up by my grandmother.Since they don't want me, why should I send Baba up there to be hated by others?

Seeing that I was silent, Aunt Yang comforted me: "Don't think too much, how can there be parents who don't love their children? In my opinion, something must have happened to them, otherwise why would they throw the two children on the ice?" In the snow..."

"Mom, what are you talking about all of a sudden?" Yang Wenxiong put down his chopsticks, his tone a little irritable.

Aunt Yang shut her mouth in embarrassment, and I quickly pulled Yang Wenxiong, pretending to smile calmly, "What a temper! It's okay, it's been so many years, I just listened to it as a story."

After recalling what Aunt Yang just said word for word, I suddenly couldn't laugh, "You just said... two children?"

Suddenly recalling what Xu Yifei said that day, he said, "Fang Yibai, isn't being fucked by my brother much more enjoyable than being fucked by someone else?"