deceased into ashes

Gradually, winter is approaching; the winter in the south is always wet and cold, and there is no snow in November, only the rain comes in bursts.

After all, it was time for Yu Qingyue to come back.Half a month has passed, and although there were phone calls back in the middle of greetings, they still didn't know how warm or cold it was. Zhou Qianyi counted the time, and she probably would go home after the afternoon.

She put the vegetables she bought into the refrigerator, and it was afternoon when she went to work; chatting with Yan Min these days made her feel very happy, and her mood was naturally much better than before. I felt a long-lost relief.

She hoped she still had a future, a future with that person.

The rain was beating against the window, and she looked at the dark clouds outside the window before she picked up her phone and dialed the top number.

The phone was dialed.

"Hello? Qingyue? When are you going home?" Zhou Qianyi looked at the endless rain outside the window. She held the phone in her left hand, and wrapped the fingertips of her right hand around her hair, one circle, two circles, three circles... ....

"About seven o'clock in the evening, do you cook or should we go out to eat?" Yu Qingyue also heard the sound of pattering rain.

"Let me cook. I have to go to work in the afternoon, and I may have to go home at six o'clock. I have bought the food, and you can have it when you go home." Zhou Qianyi said with a smile, sitting on the warm sofa cushions, thinking about the window. Could it be that Wu Yun couldn't find his way home, so he "cried" angrily.

She seldom had such naive thoughts.

"Well, then I'll hang up first." Yu Qingyue hung up the phone after saying the sentence without much warmth.

Zhou Qianyi put down his phone, hopped around in the hall, and leaned over to the window, where the fingertips of his right hand wrote invisible characters on the window - that's great. Then he looked at the dark clouds that were somewhat gloomy, and quietly Said: "I hope you can also be a little happy, don't always be sad."

She skipped to the study room again, took out the diary with a smile, looked at the things written in the past, and left a message to her former self.

"October 23rd, the weather was overcast. Qingyue called me twice today. She was very concerned about me. I shouldn't be the one who was left behind."

"October NO.30, the weather was light and rainy. During the follow-up consultation, I saw two elderly people. The grandma couldn't walk anymore. The old man still supported her patiently, and said that the old woman was very honest. It's really troublesome, if only I could have such a long time with her, it would be great, growing old together is the most beautiful fairy tale in my opinion."

"November [-]th, the weather was fine, it was a rare sunny day, today I met a very fat orange cat, it looked at me, I looked at it, it was really interesting; Sister Yan brought a few more books today To me, she is really a very good person."

......

Zhou Qianyi looked at her diary, and she always liked to write down some journal-like things in the diary; she didn't like to write many literary and sad sentences in the diary, because she didn't want to recall the sad things, and wanted to keep the best in the memory of the past.

Just like some sentences, she would rather not understand them all her life.

She also hoped that she would never think about some words in her whole life, and she would never be able to write them in her whole life.

It's really good to be naive, people who don't experience suffering are always happier.

At noon, the rain finally stopped, and half of the sun was exposed, showing signs of fine weather; Zhou Qianyi was about to leave for work, and originally planned to bring an umbrella, but seeing the good weather, he decided to trust his intuition .

The trees on the side of the road were well taken care of by the rain. Some of the deciduous trees had lost their leaves and looked bare, but it was not ugly. The deciduous trees always have a proud style in autumn and winter.

The air was very fresh, full of the smell after it rained. Zhou Qianyi thought that Yu Qingyue was going home, so she felt very happy. On the way, she bumped into that fat cat again, but this time she was facing the cat. The fat cat smiled, but the fat cat stared at her for a long time before walking away proudly.

it will be okay.

She thought so, and hoped so.

People always have to give themselves a little hope to have the strength to live!

Yu Qingyue returned to her and Zhou Qianyi's nest with her luggage, and the house was still cleaned, no matter when she was there or not.

She came back early today, and she wanted to give Zhou Qianyi a little surprise before she came back.

After she put away her luggage and opened the refrigerator, Zhou Qianyi bought all her favorite dishes as before.Yu Qingyue chuckled, she took out a few dishes, cleaned them, and cut them up.

The time was ticking on the clock, and it was almost six o'clock; Yu Qingyue turned on the fire, put on an apron, and prepared to cook for the first time in a long time.

Strange to say, living there was very relaxed during these days, but there was always a sense of uneasiness; when she went to a place with traces of Zhou Qianyi, she would feel much more at ease.

Home is always different from the outside.

In this warm little home, she cooks a few special dishes, arranges them, and serves them carefully; Yu Qingyue seldom cooks, and even if she flirts with those people outside, she will never Really care about each other, not to mention cooking and serving meals with your own hands.

This special, only Zhou Qianyi deserves it.

It was already 06:30, Zhou Qianyi should be downstairs soon.Yu Qingyue looked out the window and saw no walking figure. She was about to close the window and make a phone call when she saw two people standing beside a white Chevrolet.

The street lamps illuminated Zhou Qianyi's light green sweater, and it was drizzling outside.She didn't open an umbrella, and the person next to her tilted the umbrella towards her. The two were talking and laughing. When parting, the person handed Zhou Qianyi something, and then sent her downstairs to bid farewell to her.

Yu Qingyue's complexion was not very good at the moment, and it became even worse after she saw the man's expression of turning his head three times at a step. Seeing that the man was a woman who looked quite young, Yu Qingyue frowned.

What's the situation... who is that woman...

Her mind is now in a mess, like a tangled thread, and she wants to untie it quickly, but she can't untie it.

At this time, Zhou Qianyi opened the door, holding a book in her hand.

Zhou Qianyi smiled happily after seeing Yu Qingyue, but when she raised her eyes, she saw Yu Qingyue's cold expression.

Just as she was feeling strange, Yu Qingyue stretched out her hand, meaning to ask her to show her the book.

"What's wrong?" Zhou Qianyi handed the book to Yu Qingyue in a daze.

Yu Qingyue took the book, and a piece of paper fell out of it.

It appears to be a letter.

Now Zhou Qianyi was also a little confused, trying to pick up the piece of paper, but Yu Qingyue preempted her.

"Qianyi, I am really happy to chat with you these days. I think you are a very good girl, but I always feel that you have a unique sense of loneliness. If you have any melancholy things, you can tell me. I hope You will like the books I sent you. If you feel sad, I am always here. I hope you will not be so lonely. Every time I see you, I am alone. If I can, I am willing to be with you, whether it is What kind of companionship.

I have never liked the same sex, in fact, I noticed you a long time ago, but you just treat me politely, I think you might hate me if I do this, but if it is you, I really want to try give it a try.

Maybe this is weird, I know you may not be able to accept it for a short time, but I can wait, it's okay.It’s okay even if you can’t wait until the end.

May you be well. "

That's what the letter said.

Zhou Qianyi was a little shocked and speechless, Yu Qingyue held the letter coldly, looked at the silent Zhou Qianyi, and asked in a mocking tone: "Xinhuan? That's right, even if someone touches you, someone wants you, You are doing well."

"That's not the case..." Zhou Qianyi wanted to take back the letter and explain, but Yu Qingyue tore it up and threw it on the ground.

Yu Qingyue sneered, and said, "I thought...you are some kind of noble person, can't stand loneliness so much? Are you so eager to find a lover? Okay, fine. You really impress me."

Zhou Qianyi was a little at a loss. She looked at the shredded papers on the floor and listened to Yu Qingyue's endless ridicule, her whole body was trembling.

"What are you pretending to be?" Yu Qingyue looked at Zhou Qianyi who was bowing her head, and the more she thought about it, the angrier she became, "Is that what you owe/do?"

When Zhou Qianyi heard this sentence, she could no longer remain silent, she looked at her lover in front of her.

The man's eyes were piercing, as if he was examining a prisoner.

How ridiculous.

"It's fine for you to have fun outside and mess with flowers and grass, but I can't?" Zhou Qianyi couldn't hold it any longer, she sneered, and looked at Yu Qingyue with red eyes.

"Yo, I sent love letters and showed my love? I used to think you were noble... Did you guys do it behind my back?! You are really good..." Yu Qingyue looked at the tears in her eyes Not only did Zhou Qianyi show no mercy.He even sarcastically said: "Are you relying on these tears to win that person's love? Every time you cry in bed like a night/mother, do you make others feel excited by being pitiful?"

"Yu Qingyue!!!" Tears fell from Zhou Qianyi's eyes, she looked at the person in front of her in disbelief, anger and resentment welled up in her heart.

There was a sound of "啪——", before Yu Qingyue could react, her face on the left side was already red.

Zhou Qianyi thought that Yu Qingyue would dodge, she was stunned, and she realized that she wanted to see if it was a heavy blow or if it hurt her.However, the hand she stretched out was patted back by Yu Qingyue, who looked down at her condescendingly: "I'm not you! I don't need other people's pity!"

As he spoke, he picked up his bag and closed the door heavily. With a "bang--", Zhou Qianyi immediately slumped down on the ground.

The paper on the floor was thrown in a mess, and the food on the table was still steaming, as if the person was still waiting for her to eat.

She wiped the tears from her face indiscriminately, grabbed the shredded papers on the ground and let them float down.

The white light illuminated the entire hall, the clock was ticking, and the only sound left in the room was her sobbing.

Why is it always like this, always so useless, crying with tears all over his face, so weak that he can't explain it clearly in a word.

She felt her heart ache again, and she also had a retching feeling in her stomach.

Her mind is muddled now, and she wants to try to wake up, but the tears keep falling, it starts to rain again outside the window, and she is still the only one at home.

Why is she always the one that others think is worth leaving behind...

Abandoned by my mother since childhood, later spurned by my father, and now I don’t even have a confidant but I still have to be ridiculed by my lover, winked at by my lover, and even abandoned by someone I like, for a long, long time...

She saw the craft knife on the lamp stand, the knife she used to carve things in the past, she walked over in a blur, tears fell on the table; then, mixed with blood dripped on the table.

it hurts...

The blood kept gushing out, and she trembled her hands, holding the utility knife firmly with her left hand, bright red blood flowed from the palm of her left hand.

There was no expression on her face, her heart was beating fast, and the pain in her hand wrapped her entire nerve.

Only the tears and blood that kept falling made her feel a little more relaxed.

Doesn't she deserve to live in this world?

"A person like me shouldn't exist in this world..." Zhou Qianyi tilted her head blankly, tears streaming down her eyes, "The person I love the most doesn't want me anymore, I am Isn't it disgusting?"

She really hoped that her heart would stop beating at this moment, so that she wouldn't be sad.

What is heaven like?What does death feel like?

What would a grave be like without a funeral, without people visiting?

Zhou Qianyi thought about it, she laughed at herself, and the next second, she fell to the ground weakly.