Xu Jun's life

April [-]th is a very unlucky day.

I'm not superstitious, but I also feel that from the morning I wake up, there are ominous clouds hanging over my head.

Probably because I have an instinctive fear of the house - I'm not one to revisit old places.

His family has always been easy on his finances. When he was in junior high school, he played outside with Zheng Yehu. Sometimes he played late and slept outside. His house is far away from R, and it takes 20 minutes to drive. many minutes.

He has always liked to drive by himself, he likes luxurious and beautiful sports cars, fiery red, royal blue, silver gray, jet black...

Later, when he was in high school, his grandfather's health gradually weakened, and he began to take over some things slowly, so he got a house near R University, which was very bright and spacious.

In fact, during my senior year or so, we had almost no chance to talk.

He was so busy that I was already asleep when I came back every day, and when I got up in the morning, he had already left.He is a self-disciplined person. In this world, few things can affect his "rules". In his world, his life is planned, and anyone who tries to disrupt his plan will be crushed.

I think, in his life plan, there is no me.

The fuse of the first quarrel was that I found out that he was preparing to go abroad.

Then the questions just kept pouring out like a volcanic eruption.My studies, my busyness due to graduation, his indifference, and his attitude of always disdain to explain, all became the reasons for the quarrel.

The last scene I remember was in the bright principal’s office of R University. He said arrogantly in front of his grandfather’s housekeeper, the principal, dean of education, and my class teacher: “I’m not gay. .”

His eyes were so disdainful, I stood there, opened my mouth in vain, the afternoon sun was like a sharp arrow, and a thousand arrows fired at once, nailing me to the floor, bloody and riddled with holes.

Li Zhurong woke up very early.When I got up, he had already gone out.In the huge house, the silence was suffocating.

I went down the carpeted stairs. The living room on the first floor was empty, and a girl in a white apron was setting breakfast on the table in the dining room.Very authentic Chinese breakfast, steaming small meat buns, white porridge, pickles, pickled pickles, and ham sliced ​​as thin as cicada wings.

"Where did he go?" I asked the girl.

The girl lowered her head and smiled slightly: "Mr. Li is in the study. Would you like to have breakfast now?"

I walked over to the study.

Li Zhurong likes to arrange the study in the innermost part of the house, and there are two bodyguards standing outside the door of the study, probably discussing business inside.Seeing me, a bodyguard knocked twice on the door, then pushed the door open and said something inside.

Half a minute later, Yuan Hai came out.

I don't like talking to him in the study, that place is completely his domain, sitting in the study, Li Zhurong, can almost see through a person's every thought, as sharp as a sword without a scabbard.

"What's the matter?" He leaned back on the boss's chair, stretched his neck, revealing his fair neck from the collar of his dark blue shirt.

"I want to go back to school and talk to you."

"Oh~" He raised his eyebrows: "I thought you would leave without saying anything."

"I really want to." I explained to him gently: "But this is your territory, that won't work."

"Do you still remember that this is my territory?" He raised his eyebrows high, and he stated calmly: "Then you should also know that if I don't let you go, you won't even be able to go downstairs, right?"

I pursed my lips, and there was no pain on my cheekbone, probably swollen, I think I must look like a pig's head now.

"Go back, eat your breakfast, and go back upstairs."

I looked at him persistently: "I want to go back to school, now, immediately, immediately."

I have long known that as long as we are both sober, our relationship will become like this.Everyone insists on their own opinions, and no one will back down.

He stood up.

With a height of 1.9 meters, there is still a sense of oppression. When he walked towards me, I clenched my fists so as not to be scared back. His face was gloomy, which showed that what was waiting for me was definitely not a good thing.

"I'll say it again, stay here obediently, don't think about going back to your damn school!"

"I don't understand what you said." I tried to answer him calmly: "I remember, you don't seem to be my guardian?"

He sneered.

"Since we can't understand each other, why don't we choose a more direct method of communication." He reached out and clasped my shoulder, and his fingers slowly slid down the neck to my chin. It is self-evident what it means.

I avoided his hand: "You are crazy!"

"Really?" There was a smile on the corner of his mouth, and he leaned closer. The first thing that touched my cheek was his nose, then the smooth and fair skin of the mixed race, and finally the cool lips.

I punched him in the stomach.

He probably never thought that I would hit him, but

However, he was not prepared at all, the severe pain of being hit on his soft abdomen made him startled for a moment, and his expression was a little dazed at that moment.

I seized the rare opportunity and ran to the door.

The moment he grabbed the doorknob, he kicked the door, reached out and grabbed my shoulder, turned me around, and pressed me against the door.

"If you are not a wounded number, I will definitely beat you up." He said viciously, and bumped my forehead with his fist in a demonstrative way: "I really want to knock your head open and see what's inside. What."

"It's filled with memories." I replied calmly, "Memories you don't remember."

After being sent to the dining room by him, I saw my appearance from the dark bar counter—the entire left side of my face was swollen, so swollen that the whole face was asymmetrical.

I ate two buns, drank a bowl of porridge, and asked him, "Can I go back to school now?"

He regained his so-called "demeanor", and sat across from me calmly, with a dark blue shirt and fox-like eyes. Even when he heard that I was going back, he just raised his eyebrows and asked me: "Do you really want to go back?" ?”

"Yes."

He raised the corners of his lips.

"Xu Xu, sometimes I really don't know why you are being hypocritical. You obviously still like me. Don't you? Why do you pretend that you don't want to stay by my side for a second? If you are playing hard to get... "

"Did I tell you?" I said, "Conceit is the most disgusting thing in the world."

His face changed, and then, the corners of his lips became higher: "What are you trying to prove by avoiding me? Prove that you don't like me?"

"I don't want to prove anything, I just want to stay away from you."

"Occasionally duplicity is fun, but if you want to keep lying to yourself, I think you're ridiculous." He showed a sneering expression: "I didn't know what happened back then made you so bitter."

I think I really can't communicate with him anymore.

"You have a mental defect, Li Zhurong!" I told him, "You can't understand anyone, you only live in your own world, and you feel that you are the center of the world."

"The one who lives in your own world is you. You are like an ostrich now. You are a loser now, so you can only live in your memories, with a look of bitterness and hatred. Do you think you are Qin Xianglian?" he said coldly.

It was like something exploded in my mind.

I heard my own voice, like a taut string, so sharp it seemed to scrape against glass.

"I can't stand you anymore." My voice was still shaking, as if I had just cried, which made my voice sound funny: "We are not suitable, what you need is a robot."

"Where do you have so many messy thoughts?" He put his hand on the back of my head, as if to comfort, but also as to test.

I took a sip of water, my throat was dry, every word I said felt like it was cutting my throat, but I had to say it.

"No one can live like this. No dignity, no self. Being scolded by you, controlled by you, always at hand. Can't have friends, can't have privacy. Every time I do something, I have to think about whether you will allow it. Every time I make a friend, I worry about whether he will be killed by you. My parents’ biggest worry is whether I will fall into your hands again. I like men, but you don’t. I like you, but you Don't like me. You even gave birth to a son, yes, I like you, so you let me down like this?"

I closed my eyes, some kind of hot liquid surged in my eye sockets, and I couldn't open my mouth for a long time.

Finally, I say:

"Li Zhurong, I won't lie to you. I like you. I, Xu Xu, have never liked someone like this in my life. I have liked you for 14 years. However, my mother told me that she had a difficult labor when she gave birth to me. , I was born for a day and a night, my voice was hoarse, and I almost died in the hospital. So, every time I want to be with you, I will tell myself that my mother worked so hard to give birth to me as a baby I was not raised to do this to you."