Xu Jun's life

I rarely quarrel with Li Zhurong.

One reason is that I don't like to quarrel, and another reason is because I like him.

Arguing with someone you love is a painful thing.

Because he cared, every word he said lightly would be remembered in his heart, like a stick in his throat.

Fortunately, I have also stayed by his side for several years, and I know that there are some things that you can only figure out on your own, and don't go into a dead end.

So when we quarreled, he was the one who scolded me most of the time. He is not a talkative person, and he usually does not necessarily hurt others. However, in front of me, he even used thorny words.

That night, he said, "Xu Xu, besides cooking, what else do you do now? You just like cooking for others so much? Why don't you open a restaurant?"

He said: "I will put you back in the research institute, so you can do your physics well and don't make any fools. Don't you like doing physics? I won't lock you up now. As long as you don't run away, don't talk to these people Come back, I will let you stay in the research institute, otherwise you will go home for me, and you will never touch physics in the future."

He threatened me very skillfully.

He always threatens me.

My shortcoming is that I still want to live a good life, read some books every day, and work hard in Group A. I can't break the boat with him, so his threats always work.

Actually, I really want to tell him.I'm not a fan of cooking for other people.In Group A, when I first came in, my status was the lowest, after Xiaobai.I was airborne and did not have a convincing resume. Moreover, as they expected, I "performed" the "level" that an airborne soldier should have.Intellectuals like them are born with a sense of arrogance, and they actually don't think highly of people like me.

In fact, I really want to tell him that I don't have such a deep obsession with the research institute anymore, I'm lazy now, as long as you give me a place far away from you, I can prepare to spend my old age in peace.

But I won't say these words to him.Because he can't understand.He won't listen either.

There is nothing more sad than this.

I like you so much, but you can't understand a word of my words.

I think I probably still like him.

Otherwise, I wouldn't listen to him and feel uncomfortable.

This man named Li Zhurong, he can't be with me anymore - it took me ten years to finally be convinced of this.

It doesn't matter whether it's a good personality, or a tricky encounter, whether it's me who doesn't deserve it, or it doesn't matter whether it's his destiny to be alone...

I know very well what awaits us.

There are many things in this world, it's not that I don't want to, but I can't.Some things, you can't forget if you want to.Now he kept saying "Stay in Beijing honestly, don't keep thinking about running away", I was actually faintly happy when I heard it.

I think he should like me.

But we can't be together anymore.

There are many disturbances in the past, none of which is fatal, but it can bury all the warmth that I have carefully accumulated.

Everyone would say, muddle through, it's rare to be confused, bear it as much as you can, and you won't die anyway.

However, when you are covered with mosquito bites, if a person tells you: It doesn’t matter if the mosquito bites you, anyway, it only sucks a little blood from you, and you won’t die, so you don’t need to pay attention to the mosquito, what should you do? what to do.Sounds reasonable, can you do it?

In the past, there were countless wild mosquitoes. The most painful time has passed. Now I only have bags all over my body. They still come out from time to time and bite me hard.

There are no extra beds in my dormitory, and the sofa is small. After scolding me, Li Zhurong took off his coat, put on a shirt, and sat on the bed.

I instinctively bounced off the bed.

I am afraid of him.

Especially at this time.

I'd rather stand in the corner overnight.

People like him usually do things in a planned way, and every minute has already been pre-arranged.But his temper is self-contained, he can do whatever he wants, if he suddenly has a whim, no one can do anything to him.

I can't beat him, he can hold the wrists of my two hands with only one hand, and cut back, so I can't move.

The only consolation is that he doesn't like to hit people with his hands, at most he will see a circle of bruises on his wrist tomorrow.

After I bounced it, his face changed.

"I... I'm going to drink some water." I originally wanted to say to take a bath, but although the bath was delayed for a long time, it sounded like I was preparing for something.

I ran to the kitchen, got a few pieces of ice out of the refrigerator, chewed them up, and finally my mind cleared up a bit.

When I returned to the room, he was already sitting on the edge of the bed impatiently, flipping through a book I put beside the bed.

I silently dragged a quilt and some blankets from the upper shelf of the closet, and prepared to run to the living room.

"What are you doing?" He glanced at me.

"I sleep on the sofa in the living room." I explained to him.

His face suddenly sank.

"What's wrong with you?" He raised his eyebrows: "Put the quilt back and go to bed!"

I pretended I didn't hear it, and carried the quilt to the living room to do it. He stood up, grabbed my arm, and bent back, everything in my hand fell to the ground.

"Don't make me say it a second time." He pressed me on the bed, and after warning, he let me go.

I silently put the quilt back.

We slept together tonight.

He is full of energy, and he can sleep without sleep or sleepiness. In the quilt, he pinched my waist for a while, pinched my hand for a while, and commented disgustingly: "You are so thin that you have no flesh."

I dodged twice, but I couldn't dodge. Instead, he hooked his arms around my waist and fixed me.

His personality is probably the same as that of a lion. When a lion is full, he will occasionally show a lazy look. He is approachable, safe and harmless.However, if you are in a bad mood, it is natural that the person who hit the gun will be unlucky.

I'm not Dong Cunrui, and I don't want to blow up this bunker.Of course, when I was young, I overestimated my ability to bomb, but it was a pity that I failed miserably.

He was lying on the pillow, with such a beautiful and dazzling face, the moonlight came in from the window, he was like a marble statue, with no blemish on his skin.

He put his hands on my head, twisted my head like a light bulb, and made me and him look at each other, then he suddenly raised the corners of his lips and laughed.

I was afraid to look at his smile, and I was also afraid to look into his eyes.

It's not a guilty conscience, it's just pure fear.

He pinched my face, and suddenly said: "I haven't pinched your face for a long time,"

Not very long, ten years.

Ten years ago, I pampered him like that.When he was in high school, he drank with Zheng Yehu and the others, and he was already half drunk when he came back. I was busy making him hangover soup, and he was put on the sofa by me, so drunk that his eyes were hazy, and he looked at me, but giggled. stand up.I was startled, and went to look at him, but he pinched my face and turned left and right.

Ten years have passed, things have changed and people have changed, and everything has ceased.

It's not that I don't know what's going on right now.

It's not that I don't remember what he did back then.I remember clearly what he said to me, and I also remember clearly what he did.

But after all, I still like it.

At about ten o'clock, he had fallen asleep.he

He must be very busy recently. If you look closely, there is a faint blue color under your eyes, which is why you fell asleep so fast.

But I can't sleep.Being held around his waist by him, he couldn't even turn over, so he could only look at his face with his eyes wide open.

I used to like his eyes, with a bit of mixed blood.His eyelashes are very dense, like a child, which is very inconsistent with his usual indifferent and arrogant image.When he fell asleep, his eyelashes stopped quietly, and his whole body softened.

Suddenly, I kind of hoped that he would just keep sleeping like this.

When asleep, there is no stubborn pride, no domineering temper, no swearing, and no letting us go further and further.

He was in a deep sleep. I stretched out my finger and stroked his face boldly. He fell into such a deep sleep that he didn't even wake up.

I ran my finger down his forehead, across his straight nose, his light lips, and his delicate chin.Such a beautiful silhouette, such a familiar touch.

Many years ago, that young man named Xu Xu also did this while he was asleep.

I think I still like him.

Just looking at him like this made my heart happy, like many bubbles in my chest, which gradually expanded to occupy the entire chest cavity.Unspeakably happy.

However, I have been thinking, in fact, our fate should end here.Whether he has a son, or plays with Chen Ke...it has nothing to do with me.

I like him, but we can't be together.

He is only 25 years old and has a bright future. He will encounter many things, many people, and someone will occupy the most important position in his heart...

Just thinking about it makes my heart ache.

I like him so much.

However, he has his life and I have mine.I can't participate in his life, and I have no part in his future.He will gradually mature, grow old, and die in a warm bed.But these are none of my business.

I am so reluctant.

I spent 12 years liking someone.I think I will like him for the rest of my life.But I made up my mind to separate from him, go our separate ways, and forget each other.This has nothing to do with liking.

In life, besides love, there should always be some other beliefs.