The world is cool

There was a little madman's cigarette on the coffee table, I took out one, lit it, and took a deep breath.

The whole person was a little empty, so the nicotine flowed unimpeded in the chest cavity, and after a long time, it reluctantly came out from the mouth and nasal cavity.

I took several puffs in a row, the cigarette burned to the end quickly, and I felt very comfortable, as if a person floating on the sea suddenly caught a piece of driftwood.Maybe it won't be long before he will become a victim, but at this moment, who would think about it.

Throwing the cigarette butt into the tea cup of the previous night, I lit another one for myself. The fuzzy outline of the furniture is set against the rising smoke, like a landscape with splashed ink.I sat on the floor, leaning against the edge of the sofa, and my whole body entered an indescribable mirror image, which seemed to be dreaming and waking up, both illusion and reality.

……

【Give. 】

【what? 】

[Take one and feel comfortable. 】

【No, keep it for yourself. 】

[I don't smoke. 】

[Then what are you buying it for? 】

[Whoever buys it wins the bet. 】

……

This happened the last time I smoked. I just came out of the confinement, my whole body seemed to be stunned, my senses were numb, and my reaction was slow. Then the little lunatic gave me a pack of cigarettes he won from a bet.After that, I don't seem to have smoked again.No, or maybe there were sporadically drawn a few times later, heh, who remembers clearly.

Huahua's letter was lying on the ground, as quiet and soft as a love letter.There is no need to read it a second time, every word on it has been engraved in my heart.He said that the child he resented the most was not the one who ignored him at the beginning, but the one who ran away after playing with him for a day; he said that he would rather steal such a period of time than not be happy all his life; he said I would not Sticking to you again; he said brother, take care.

I'm a person with a bad memory, but I can clearly count how many times Huahua called me brother over the years.

Because, just twice.

One time I typed on my mobile phone last time, brother, me, and then it disappeared because I didn't let him finish.

Once was this time, and finally finished speaking, but it was farewell.

If it was a movie, it would be time to turn around now.For example, Huahua came back suddenly, this is a comedy movie; Huahua didn’t come back, but I immediately chased her out and found Huahua, this is a romance movie; I chased her out immediately but couldn’t find Huahua, I was hit by a car, this is Korea I didn't chase out or let the car hit me, but I directly dialed Huahua's mobile phone, but the other party answered it with a voice that I had never heard before, and then told me that he had used this number for many years, this is a thriller .

Come to think of it, it seems that any one of them is quite exciting.

But I happen to be in the most fucking rubbish literary film, the director is not four or six, the script is cloudy, I have no thought, no lines, and even no expression. If I shrink into my heart now like in Westward Journey , I guess I can't help but read the drama of A Dream of Red Mansions, hey, the whiteness is so clean.

I didn't count how many cigarettes I had smoked that day. Anyway, I didn't enjoy smoking all the cigarettes on the coffee table, so I just unpacked the unopened stick of cigarettes that the little lunatic stuffed under the coffee table, and continued to smoke.When the little lunatic and Zhou Cheng came out, they only saw the smoke in the living room, and they thought it was on fire, and then they saw Huahua's letter, so they understood.

I thought that at least one of them would scold me, such as Zhou Cheng who advised me to not provoke Huahua if I couldn't persevere, I thought at least one of them would advise me to chase after him quickly, such as the speed of emotional reflexes is forever Little lunatics with faster than rational reaction speeds, but none.The former just sighed, and then patted my shoulder lightly; the latter shrugged and said, this is pretty good.

At that moment, I suddenly understood that although I tried my best to convince myself that Huahua and the little madman Zhou Cheng are the same in the past few months, even if the former has an extra brother status, the feelings accumulated over the years are basically the same between us. But the actual situation is that I almost smoked myself to death, while Zhou Cheng and the little lunatic just sighed.I didn't blame them for being ruthless, but I suddenly realized that if one day the person who left became Zhou Cheng or a little lunatic, maybe my reaction would be the same as the two of them today.

In hindsight, it was a hell of a day.Huahua left a book and ran away, I smoked to death, Zhou Cheng patted my shoulder, the little lunatic said it was good.Then what?

Then the little lunatic changed his clothes and went out.

Then Zhou Cheng stretched out his hand to stop him.

Then nothing happened to me.

"Why go?" Zhou Cheng asked.He seldom speaks to others in such a straightforward and unartistic way. The straightforward result is that these words don't sound like a casual question, but rather nervous.

In contrast, the little lunatic was very natural, so natural that he was even a little at ease: "Don't do anything, go out for a walk." I think if he had a peaked cap on his head at this time, he might just whistle directly.

Zhou Cheng frowned very slightly, but I still couldn't capture the specific emotion from his eyes. After a few long seconds of silence, I heard his faint voice: "Cross the road and look at the traffic lights. .”

The little lunatic suddenly laughed. I thought he might have noticed something that I didn't, so I dared to ask sharply: "Are you afraid that I will run away too?"

Zhou Cheng was completely silent.

I seem to be beginning to understand.

Only the little lunatic is still leisurely. He actually whistled lightly, raised his eyebrows maliciously, and even smiled badly: "I'm not a flower, don't worry about it. Tsk, it's not up to you .”

Zhou Cheng narrowed his eyes, and looked at the little madman unceremoniously, from top to bottom, and from bottom to top, as if the little madman was an expensive work of art, and he was considering whether to spend the money.

I always thought that Zhou Cheng's emotions were Shang Fang's sword, which would not be revealed unless necessary, so I was surprised from the bottom of my heart that he was not hiding it at the moment.But before I was completely surprised, something that made my jaw drop even more happened. Zhou Cheng actually asked: "Really?"

...my worldview collapsed.

Is this what you Zhou Cheng should ask? !Shouldn't you smile in the face of the [-] volcanic tsunami, earthquake, mudslides, hail and tornadoes without taking away half a cloud? !

When the little lunatic stopped smiling and turned serious, I completely returned to the initial state - whiteness.

"Do you want to tell the truth?" The serious little lunatic actually looked a little bit like a man, "Then listen carefully. Up to now, it is still the case, but in the future, who can say for sure."

Zhou Cheng didn't stay silent any longer, and didn't leave any subtle gaps, and said directly: "Don't do it later, it's now."

The little lunatic was stunned, as if he had realized something, but he couldn't believe it: "What... do you mean?"

Zhou Cheng hooked his fingers.

The little lunatic walked over ignorantly, with timid steps, like a puppy who has only seen a stranger.

Zhou Cheng didn't have the patience to wait for him to come to him, so he directly stretched out his hand to pull the man over, grabbed the man's head and kissed him.

My brain was still blank, but my body reflexively backed away, backed up again, and finally hid in my little black room.

What happened in the living room after that I'm not sure, oh, maybe it didn't happen in the living room but in the bedroom.It is said that blessings come without pairs, and misfortunes never come singly, but sometimes, the old saying may not always be true.I don't know when these two became like this, just like I don't know when Huahua decided to leave.A lot of things are going on, but I'm ignoring them all.

Inadvertently, or intentionally.

Huahua took the phone with her, but in the two months since he left, there was never a message or a call from that number, and naturally, I didn't take the initiative to call it either.It’s not ridiculous for a big old man who is running to make a phone call or send a text message. I think I’m a bit brain-dead, but I just can’t control it, even if my reason tells me that maybe Huahua is just taken I may not continue to use this number, and since he doesn’t contact me, it’s a way of expressing my position, but I still persist in this one-sided war.The little lunatic asked me, are you not worried about the safety of the mute at all?I really don't.He can't speak, but he has hands and feet, can read and write, and he couldn't starve to death when he was sixteen or seventeen. There is no reason why he can't live now.What's more, the dividends of the profits in the past few months are all in his bank card. Although there are not many, it is not a problem to support the accommodation and food expenses for two or three months.He didn't leave the card hypocritically. To put it bluntly, he didn't use the matter of running away from home to scare anyone. He really wanted to go out and do something. If I worry about it any more, I really look down on him.

But I miss him very much.

I dare to admit this when people are sitting quietly on the bed and smoking in the middle of the night. I admit that when the people you are used to in your life suddenly disappear, the feeling of missing a piece of the jigsaw puzzle and not being able to find it is really scratching your heart.

What is the relationship between a man and a man? After watching Zhou Cheng for so many years, I couldn't figure it out.It’s definitely different from brothers and sisters, but men and women don’t seem to be applicable either. I can’t imagine two rough men looking at each other with deep love and heartfelt love, and then having a French kiss when the love is deep. In contrast, Zhou Cheng and Da Jinzi's model of getting up and doing nothing seems to be easier to accept.

It is shameless to say that men are animals that think from the lower body, but it is true.I think the reason why Huahua made up her mind to leave was because I kicked her head and smashed her head that day.But in fact, I exploded not because he touched my bottom, but because I actually felt pleasure at the moment he touched me.