scum dad

Background: "H" shaped B&D building with windy weather and cold water, the five-star red flag is fluttering in the wind~ The camera zooms in and peeps in from the window on the tenth floor. Six people, two small buns and a black shadow are sitting at a spacious and bright round table In the conference room.

Attendees were: a woman with glasses [Who? ], Di Que, Chen Feng, Shang Shiyao, Hua Dafa, Bai Xiaoqi, Heiying [Who? 】, Di Langlang, Hua Xiaoxiao.

Glasses: Well... "Scrap Dad" wrote [-] chapters, in order to satisfy more readers and more aspects [What aspects? ], we hereby summon the film [What film? 】The protagonists, important supporting roles, urgently hold a "scum dads confrontation" big-reflection-prospect-meeting-!

[This guy is just looking at Yin's mother and his brain is hallucinating, pull it out, pat it to death, pat it to death] Di: (dragging his cheek) What, he is holding his son for a nap.Forcibly pulling people here is to do such a boring thing?What is there to reflect on Lao Tzu's natural beauty?

Glasses: (crying) Don’t say that, the popularity of Xiao Zha’s first film was pretty good, even though someone procrastinated to release the second film after a year, Di Shaonai’s style is still the same, and his popularity has not diminished. , Kesu... Kesu... After a summer vacation, there are too many fierce cute articles on the salted egg list, with tens of millions of points, and there are only ten days left to miss the monthly list. If Di Shaonai's popularity continues If you can't make it to the monthly list, it will damage Nai's reputation... (to finger)

Di: What?How could I lose?How could I lose?You're mocking me, I'm getting older, aren't you?Yes or no!Hype it up, operate it in the dark, get through TB, get through the editor! (stepping on the table and shaking a certain glasses)

Glasses: Wait, wait... The purpose of today's meeting is not to talk about this, Di Shaonai should not bring out the dark side of the adult world, but look for problems from himself... (foaming at the mouth)

Chen; (smiling) I have something to say, the reason why the second part is not as good as the first is obviously because... there are too few meat scenes.

Glasses, Di; (silence) mustache!Where it is missing, it is all braised!

Chen: Let me analyze it. The main reason why Xiao Zha is popular is that there is such a cute element as "straight men and benders".The handsome, wealthy, but infatuated, gentle, black-bellied attack [Boast] captured the romantic and explosive subject bit by bit until he couldn't be straighter. Such characters and plot settings made many readers feel cute, and psychologically Tangled with Xiaogong Xiaoshou's emotional changes.Coupled with the pressure from society and family, powerful rivals in love, and unceasing old love, this allows Cai to firmly grasp the hearts of readers.And what about the scumbag?Obviously there is no explosion point, the raw rice has been cooked, what else can I write about besides non-stop XXOO? (hit in the head by a leather shoe)

Di: (with one bare foot) Pervert!shameful!Why didn't it explode?I will break up with you today!There is no explosive point, there is no!My son was born to you, but Nai dared to say that there was no explosion!

Chen: (Puts the leather shoes into his arms) It's not my son... Speaking of Xiao Baozi, I suspect that the author's head is squeezed by the door, and Di Que and I are not married families who take care of the children. Little Baozi, do you want the scumbag dad to become a culture-related, pet-style article?Isn't the XXOO of the cultivation system not the point?Why did I agree to be the male pig in the second film while I was so busy? Wasn't it because I could continue to act in sex scenes? (Patting the table excitedly)

[Voice-over + sad BGM: A lover who has experienced untold hardships and disasters, a new life born suddenly during the struggle, cracks in the originally fragile relationship.

Di: No matter how hard or tiring I am, I will raise Lang Lang with my own hands. (sad)

Chen: It turns out that you have not paid attention to my efforts all this time... (Great compassion).

Lang: Dad, don't want Lang Lang. (cry)】

Di; (tearing up the poster) What a mess!What a fake trailer-like crap!Is Lao Tzu such a sad person?Who wants to pull this little greedy cat with shit and urine!

Lang: (Buried his whole face into the cake)...

Chen: (Shaking his head and sighing) It has been said that meat is the key.Everything is the same, as long as it is in different places XXOO, Di Que nurse outfit, doctor outfit, teacher outfit, student outfit, elite outfit, employee outfit, military uniform, courier outfit, maintenance tooling outfit, leather outfit, cat ear outfit, rabbit ear Clothes, pig ears... (another shoe flies in)

Di; (angry) What are pig ears?What the hell are pig ears!You are a bastard with A[哗——] material in your mind! ! !

Chen: (covering nosebleeds) I just suggested it out of good intentions. If the author writes meaty essays based on the scenes and materials I provided and it doesn’t become popular, I’ll dance in a ladyboy club.

Di: (drawing out the butcher knife) No need, I will eunuch you right now!

Glasses: (flying to stop Di) Shao Di, calm down!This is related to your sexual happiness in the next few chapters!Hey, other people don't just sit here and watch the excitement, everyone has a share in this article, please leave your comments!

Shang: (Shaking hands and feet) When will Lao Tzu appear on stage, when will Lao Tzu appear on stage... (Unlimited Resentment and Great Compassion Curse...)

Chen: (smiling) In the first film, you were the role of Di Que's protector of flowers. Now that I have returned home with a beautiful woman, what's the point of you still appearing?The appearance fee is so high for one chapter, how could the author let you appear, and have you been frozen for more than 20 chapters?Will continue to freeze in the future...

Shang: What did you say? (Pulls Chen Feng's collar) Don't you know how many people are in love with your nephew and uncle?This forbidden love affair with blood relationship is the cutest!The relationship between the bamboo horse and the bamboo horse is the cutest!Compared with your cheating and abducting, and then pretending to be affectionate and pretending to be B Gong, the positioning is much more explosive!I'm your biggest love rival in this movie, I want a higher appearance fee, why are you so jealous!The one-chapter appearance fee is only a pair of dique underwear!

Chen: (I would rather die than surrender) Just make your Spring and Autumn dream come true.You, a standard loyal dog who was first married by the author, still wants to flirt with your nephew, the author will never write like that!Don't think that you can do whatever you want if Meng Fan is not here today, and bully my little shou. Today's meeting will be recorded and made public, and Meng Fan will let you kneel and washboard!

Shang: You... (dumbfounded)

Bai: (holding up his glasses, and smiling) Stop arguing.Know what kind of fatal mistake you made?That is too rigidly attached to the past position.It's already outdated to be spoiled in the past, and it's impossible to continue the popularity of the first part.If you want to reflect, you might as well reflect on whether the two protagonists are strong or not.The most urgent thing to do is to...

Bai: (Pause with ringing hands) Change the protagonist! (Countless shoes fly in)

Bai: (Putting away the crowd of shoes, resolutely drop) My pair of vice Xipi can bring more freshness to readers. The black elite Gong and the nouveau riche uncle Shou with children in the next year, the past grievances and entanglements are transformed into today's revenge. Game, such an annual drama that abuses body and mind at a glance, how could it not be the protagonist, but only come out to play soy sauce!What's more, I still have cute elements like glasses! (Holding up the glasses and shouting) [o(╯□╰)o is too much, it's obviously plain glasses! 】【Voice-over + Horror BGM: A dark room, a big broken bed, a naked man tied up with five flowers, with [哗——] stuffed in the man's mouth, his face was full of tears, and he couldn't make a sound.

Bai: (gradually approaching, sneering) You ruined me ten years ago, ten years later, I want to get back my capital with interest.

Hua: (being taken off [wow——], anxious and frightened) Who are you?Where is my son?What did you do to him?Whatever comes to me, don't hurt my son.

Bai: Heh heh heh heh. (body covered with flowers)]

Hua: (smashes the projector) What a mess!How did I not hear it being said!Hello, author!That's not what I said when I signed the contract.I obviously heard that I could be the male number two and have an affair with Di Que, so I reluctantly postponed the schedule of other peasants to come here, and I bought one get one free, and even brought my son out.After making such a big sacrifice, how did he become the one who was tortured by the uncle, or the one who was abused?Is it possible to see my strong muscles being crushed?is it possible?If you dare to write like that, I will sue you for breaking the contract!

Glasses; this... that... (to finger)

Bai: (being stepped on by Di, Chen, and Shang Kuang, and stretching out his hand tremblingly) It's useless for you to struggle any more. Who else reads the warm and healing short stories these days? , abuse to death, is the king... Dao... (holding the corpse)

Di: (Fixes the collar) Huh... finally solved a dislike, who dared to steal the leading role, courting death.Author, I understand, don't you just want more people to read the article?Then conform to the market situation, write whatever is hot, and follow the trend.

Chen: There are a lot of post-apocalyptic articles on the monthly list recently... (Contemplation)

Di: (patting the table) It's decided!Our crew is also at the end of the world!

Glasses: (with tears) Well, isn’t our setting a bit far from the end of the world?

Di: Not far away.You don’t even look at your own timetable. My son is already three years old. How old do you think the settings in your article are?It's long past 2012.It's the gentleness and kindness of the readers that didn't expose you. In fact, everyone knows that this is a completely broken fiction.I was also in my 30s with tears in my eyes, and persisted with the pitiful appearance fee.

Di: (take a breath and continue) Nimanai writes "N years later" and I will go straight to the fourth day!That bastard Chen Feng can't afford to hurt him even more, now 24 hours a day, he can't wait to spend 24 hours in the gym to keep fit.Why don't you just keep doing it and change the name to [-].

Glasses: (tears running) No way!Hey, this is no longer a question of changing the name!For Mao, a strong sense of familiarity rushes over your face, don't be so obvious about your copycat, okay?I will be strangled to death by the raging fans of the Great God!

Di: (holding the forehead calmly) I see, then change the name to the noble son of the end of the world.How about it?Mr. Pianpianjia is struggling to survive in the turbulent last days, and encounters one romantic love after another on the way to find his lost lover and son...

Chen: One game after another... It seems that I still haven't satisfied you... (sneering) Cough cough, if you want me to say it should be called Uncle Chen of the End Times.As long as the word "uncle" is hung on the title, the popularity will increase exponentially.The stable, mature and black-bellied uncle Gong picked up a little wild cat with zero IQ in the last days, and the little wild cat also took a little wild cat with him, so the uncle took care of the two greedy cats gently and patiently, making seafood noodles and braised noodles Ah, fried noodles, finally won the heart of the little wild cat...

Shang: What does this have to do with the last days!It's basically a complete collection of pasta plus pet raising experience!Do you think that readers are blind by fooling readers like this!Called the little uncle of the last days!As long as there is some kind of relative relationship in the title, the sense of taboo will come to your face, do you understand!

Chen: (squinting eyes) The current title still has the word "dad", "uncle" is nothing!

Di: (slanting eyes) What a little uncle in the last days, it's a hit when you hear it!

Shang; how about I just want to appear on the stage! (Explosion), this is a heroic story of a little uncle awakened by anger who turns into a super little uncle and rescues his innocent nephew from the cosmic satyr!

Chen and Di: (step on) What super little uncle, uncle and sister!Who is the pervert?Who is lacking?

Hua: Just listen to me! (with a loud roar) Let the labor of the last days be the most glorious!When the world was destroyed, Uncle Hua took advantage of the chaos and wiped out many rivals in love and his rivals in love. He traveled back to ancient times with his beloved Xiao Shou and a pair of sons, and started a leisurely nomadic life of farming and releasing dinosaurs. Space, if you click, bookmark, or comment, if you can't go up, I will spend a lot of money to marry my son to your house.

Xiao: ... (pats the cake on Di Langlang's face with a smirk)

Chen, Di, Shang: (step on) You are not the end of the world at all!Young Nima confused the public!And what does it mean to take advantage of the chaos and destroy others?This is a criminal issue, right?Don't kill people and set fires under the guise of the end of the world, okay!

Hei: Hey... don't ignore my existence...

Di, Chen, Shang: A mere black shadow just stay and go!People who dare not even show their faces have no right to speak!

Hei: (angry) The author hasn't let me play yet!Do you think I don't want to show my face!The most essential thing in an article is the villain!I'm completely sacrificing my small self to complete my big self, using my good private image to drive up you amateur actors who can't make it to the stage!

Di: The villain?Then I will kill you before you come out! (trap sleeves)

Hei: (surprised) Wait, wait.My popularity is very high, and readers will protest if I am killed.

Chen: Where is the height?It's all scolding, right?Having said that, you still owe me [-] million when will you pay it back?Why don't you give me an IOU at this time and press your fingerprint.

Hei: (surprised) Damn, I went in, and I still have [-] million heads!What about scolding?Have you ever heard of the depth of love and the depth of responsibility?This proves that I have made a vivid impression on the minds of readers!It is because of people like me who dare to love, hate, act and act, that people who are not good at all make you look like a person!

Di, Chen, Shang, Hua: (Push forward and start a group fight) Stop talking nonsense, for HE's article, the villain is just about to be strangled in the bud!

Hei: (calling for help) You... I, I have the backstage of the Xu family!

Di, Chen, Shang, Hua: (more forcefully) Your sister in the backstage!The big self-reflection meeting has nothing to do with them, the author obviously asked them to do soy sauce!

[Camera transition: A group of black cars parked in front of the small earthen building where Glasses lives, a man in black with a cannon, a cannon with a mine, the Xu Brothers: (with a cigarette in his mouth, windbreaker fluttering) Damn the author, don’t add The role of our brothers will blow you away, and this article will die in more than 20 chapters! 】Hei: Chen, Mr. Chen, (affectionately) I treat you... (quite dead)

Di: (with a sigh of relief) Phew... Nima is pretending to be infatuated and vicious, the potential rival in love is finally eliminated by me, I have opened a cheat today.

Di, Chen, Shang, Hua: (look at each other) Use the setting I want!Use the settings I want!

Glasses: (with teary eyes) I knew that please, these guys are unreliable at all... woo woo woo woo... (running)

Xiao: (eating cake) These grown-ups are really naive, don’t they understand?Now is the era of Zhengtaikong. This article is obviously one of the model essays for cultivating love from the baby.

Lang: (The whole face is still buried in the cake)...Let's say it first, I won't suffer.

[The camera gradually zooms out, turning to the endless blue sky and white clouds. The BGM is bleak and pathetic. ] Di: (appears suddenly, grabs the computer screen and keeps holding on) Hey, are you people chasing scumbags?Don't you think it's embarrassing that the column of long comments on the right side of the twenty-odd chapters is empty...

Chen: The smell of copycat silver is too damn strong!Is the long-winded and long-winded Datong finally just to blow up the reviews!Let's go, we can't afford to lose that man. (drag away, drag away)

Di: (struggling) What a shame!Much better than you, a person full of [哗——] thoughts!

that's all.

Glasses: (Curtain call) That's it, daddy scumbag will continue the usual healing route of heartwarming, goofy, sloppy parents, and gossiping. The above messy plots are purely YY, none of them!From the next chapter onwards, I will seriously write the plot, someone is already reflecting...

[Everyone; they all said not to f*ck copycat silver anymore! (The author of the violent takeoff)]