Rebirth of Su Shi

On the day of Fang Lin's burial, there was continuous light rain in City C.

Those who came to his funeral included me, my eldest sister, my eldest brother-in-law, Tang Chao, Uncle Li who taught him how to play chess, and Ms. Peng left alone.

I don't think he ever imagined that so many people would come to his funeral after his death.

Fang Lin's life was actually very hard. When he was not in the orphanage, he was beaten all over his body by his father at home. After being in the orphanage, he couldn't eat enough for three days. When he grew up, he followed me to the place where he bought skin and meat. After finally getting through it... His life came to an end again.

I remember that when we passed by a music store when we were young, he heard a beautiful piece of music played by a violin, and then he said that the violin only has four strings. Why can it play such a beautiful piece of music?

At that time, I didn't understand that life is actually like the strings of a violin. It looks simple, but it can compose a beautiful or sad life.

Looking back at our past at this time, if we use the tune played by the violin to describe it, it is not beautiful or sad, but what he played is our helplessness.

A person's life can be said to be heavy or light.

To say it is heavy is the weight it leaves in the hearts of living people, to say it is light... the urn in my hand is its weight.

"There is something."

I retracted my mind and looked, and an iron box came into my sight.

I recognize the tin box.

That was the year Fang Lin turned 20. I gave him a box of chocolates. After he finished eating the chocolates, he kept the iron box as a souvenir.Unexpectedly, it will appear here.

I put Fang Lin's urn into Ms. Peng's hands, knelt down and dug it out of the soil with both hands.

Open the tin box, there is a letter and a chocolate inside.

Looking at the new letter paper, I knew it was buried after he came back here alone last time.

Unfolding the letter paper with trembling hands, I recognized Fang Lin's handwriting at a glance.

Non rain:

When you open this letter, I have bid farewell to this disgusting world.

When you came to C City and took me away from Kongse, I suddenly felt how lovely and beautiful this world is, because it returned Feiyu to me again.So I secretly swear that I must tie you firmly by my side so that you can never leave.

But when I saw that person for the first time, I knew that your emotions no longer belonged to me alone.

I've been trying to figure out a way to make you treat me like you used to, but before I figured out a way, you're already with that person.

I started to panic, Feiyu, shouldn't you belong to me alone?Why would you be someone else's?

You obviously came back to me but your heart was not by my side, so my panic made my thoughts become more and more extreme.

I went to provoke that person, but the attitude of that person made my provocation useless.I thought again, what will happen to his second-generation official who keeps saying that he will not let you go after knowing that you are a cowboy who buys ass?So I made that crazy bet.

During that time, I didn't have a good night's sleep, so I started to take sleeping pills, one, two, three... In the end, I almost took the amount for suicide.I should thank that person, if that person hadn't called me to let me wake up in time what I was doing, I think I would have died at that time.

In the end I lost, and I was convinced that I lost.I think you know the reason why I am convinced, right?I know that I am so wrong that no one will forgive me, but I still want your forgiveness, because you are Feiyu, just like you said, you have taken care of me 20 Nian Feiyu, I think you will forgive me as long as I cling to you with shamelessness...

In the end...you decided to let me go...it was only then that you realized that you really don't want me anymore.

There was one you by my side, and only one you, but at this moment, I lost even you.Lived for 27 years, but at the end there was nothing...

Feiyu, do you know why I came here alone after your accident?Because I am afraid.I am afraid to hear the news of your death, I am afraid to see what you look like after death, I am afraid that I will go crazy again, I am afraid that I am the only one left in this world!

I don't want to hear that you have anything to do with death, and I don't want to see you die!

I'm not serious. If I tell you about you again, neither you nor I can afford the consequences. I'm by your side, and I will threaten your safety anytime, anywhere.But I know myself too well, as long as I am still alive, no matter how far you send me, I will come back to you sooner or later, and then bring hidden dangers to you, so the only way is I disappear.

Death is a kind of relief for me. Living in this world is really tiring.

Feiyu, I know you will definitely send me here after I die, so that's fine, the tomb I bought for myself with a lot of money finally comes in handy.

There is one more thing I want to tell you...you are now Sushi instead of Feiyu, so I sold the bookstore and bought it for 300 million. I have donated the money to the AIDS Foundation, which counts as my death. To draw an end to the dead me, there will be no such person as Feiyu in this world from now on.

Remember, you are Su Shi!It is Su Shi who has relatives and lovers!

If people really have a next life, Fang Lin would rather be a pig or a dog than a human.

……

After Fang Lin was buried, I stood quietly in front of his tombstone and looked at his photo.

If I say that my heart is so painful that it is numb, it is better to say that I have lost consciousness to the people and things in this world.

Also at this time, I couldn't imagine how Fang Lin spent the three years after my death facing my tombstone.

I just stood like this, and stood, until it got dark.

Tang Chao, who had been standing quietly beside me, suddenly said: "He asked me to bring you a message before the accident." Seeing that I didn't respond, he ignored me and continued: "He said that no matter where he is, he Fang Lin What I care most about in this life is a person named Fang Feiyu, he hopes that Fang Feiyu can take him to enjoy a life that he has never enjoyed before."

Enjoying a life he couldn't have enjoyed...

"What happened to him?" I finally said.

"He said he wanted to drink water, so I got out of the car to buy water for him. When I bought it back, he had already driven my car to rush out of the protective fence of the road."

I pointed to my heart and said: "Here... there is a hole, bleeding... but I can't feel the pain... No one in this life can plug this hole for me... including you... a lifetime is very long, it Will keep blood for a lifetime... Can you stay by Su Shi's side for the rest of his life?"

Tang Chao pulled my hand to where his heart was, "The only one who can hold it here is you."

"thanks……"

Su Shi, this is my name in this life, I am very glad to be able to live again in this body, because I have a family who loves me and a lover who loves me, and - I can take care of me instead of me for 20 years A person who has lived for many years enjoys a life that he has never enjoyed.

(Finish)