Pavlov and the White Moonlight

That day, Li Rui, Yu Sihai, and I planned to have sex and then go to the Internet cafe. Of course, I lost my mind when something like this happened.On the way home after the sports meeting, my face was blank, Yu Sihai was silent all the way, only Li Rui spoke occasionally, and he was always cursing.I don't understand why Tang Shuhe hides so many of my things in his bag, is it really because of...

"Don't think about it, he's plotting something wrong, he didn't hold his fart in the first place," Li Rui said, "It's a good thing I found out today, you said that if he really said something and did something, it would be disgusting." ah."

I frowned, my eyes ached from Li Rui's undisguised disgust.I can't say what mood I'm in, I can't say I'm disgusted, I'm just confused, with a very unreal feeling.I still can't believe it, Tang Shuhe really liked me silently for a long time, even if it's true...

Even if it were true.

My train of thought is stuck here.

There was a voice in my heart.

Even if it was true, what did he do wrong?

Tang Shuhe didn't say or do anything from the beginning to the end, but just today, under the eyes of everyone, I inadvertently punctured his liking.

Then he apologized to me for his liking.

Yu Sihai was silent for a long time and sighed.

He said: "From now on... Xiao Tang will behave in class."

Li Rui stopped talking.The three of us walked together and it was never so quiet.

For two whole days on the weekend, Tang Shuhe didn't contact me. Since the Friday sports meeting, this person has been silent as if he disappeared. This made me even think that he might not appear in the classroom of Wenyi Class on Monday.On Monday, I arrived in the classroom at 35:45, sat in my seat and silently ate the unpalatable buns from the canteen, at [-]:[-], Tang Shuhe walked into the class through the back door, and sat quietly beside me.

Those students who were still chatting and laughing all fell silent the moment Tang Shuhe came in.Tang Shuhe lowered his head, and took out the books he needed for self-study from his schoolbag regardless of those staring eyes.I don't know if it's my illusion, but he seems to have lost weight in two days, his eye sockets are sunken, and his eyes are gray.I sighed and whispered, "Have you had breakfast yet?"

Tang Shuhe paused, shook his head without looking at me.

I couldn't help but sighed again, and thought to myself that this is not a fucking thing, so I just tormented myself like this.

He never spoke again.I wanted to speak several times, but I was forced to open my mouth by the stiff and awkward atmosphere between us that could not speak.When the first class was over, Li Rui came over and said to me in front of Tang Shuhe: "Lu Er, you can sit with Yu Sihai, there is room for him too."

Tang Shuhe lowered his head silently, and Yu Sihai also remained silent with a sad face.I was stunned for a moment—Although Li Rui is usually a little arrogant, he hasn't changed the seat of his classmates without saying hello to Gu Jing. When he suddenly wanted to change seats, Gu Jing must have asked the reason. My heart roared: " Fuck, did you tell Gu Jing?"

"Say the fart," Li Rui said, "I'm just giving you a suggestion."

That's what he said, but he just stood there, his posture was very unreasonable.I said: "...Let's talk again, I know."

He still doesn't move.I said, "Why don't you go back first..."

"Lu Huai," Li Rui glanced at Tang Shuhe, and said to me, "What the hell is going on with you, have you lost your mind?"

A nameless irritability made me clench my back molars.I sat there without moving or speaking, when Tang Shuhe suddenly said, "Lu Huai..."

I let out a breath and gestured to him: "Go out and say something."

We walked to the stairwell of the teaching building.I lay on the railing, and I remembered that we were in the stairwell of the dormitory before, counting the time for the dormitory aunt to go upstairs. When talking about the topic and chatting, it obviously didn't take long, but why did it become like this.

We were silent for a while.After a while, Tang Shuhe said, "I'll go and apply to Teacher Gu for a seat change."

I didn't know how to answer, so I hesitated for a while: "Actually not..."

He suddenly asked: "Do you like me?"

I was stunned: "Huh?"

He smiled bitterly and said, "Lu Huai, don't give me too many fantasies."

I didn't speak.It dawned on me that it would be cruel not to accept him and not reject him, even though I really didn't really want him to go.I leaned over the railing and sighed.

I said, "If you want to change seats...just sit forward and tell Mr. Gu that you can't see the blackboard clearly."

He smiled and said, "Yeah."

Tang Shuhe said: "I'm really sorry, I didn't want you to know this. I... thought you would never know."

The sky seems to be getting cold all at once.There are still green leaves swirling and falling down.

From then on, Tang Shuhe sat in the first row of the classroom against the wall.No. [-] middle school does not allow men and women to sit at the same table, and no male classmates are willing to sit with him, so he just sits there alone.In the past, people always asked him questions, but now they are gone.When the event of the sports meeting first happened, Xu Ru and the other girls were very excited for some reason, but when they saw Tang Shuhe changed seats, they couldn't get excited anymore, and they sighed and said that Biyi was gone, and occasionally they would go Talk to Tang Shuhe and ask questions.And this also made some people's evaluation of him even more vicious. I don't understand why these men and women have so many unsavory ridicules to say when there is no grievance or enmity. Those words have spread into my ears , you can imagine how much Tang Shuhe hears every day.

I sit in the back row of the classroom and watch him walk around alone every day, inseparable from each other, attend lectures alone, study alone, and eat alone with his head down silently. The same came from all directions and stuck on his body. He just lowered his eyebrows, hid his face behind the collar of his school uniform, and leaned against the wall quietly.

But he wasn't like that before, I know.He used to laugh, he would high-five me on the seat when the results of the monthly exam were released, he would run wildly because he was late for eating hot pot, and then he would laugh so hard in the corridor that he couldn’t straighten his back, and he would draw Lao Ding on the supplementary books Head, will dance with me in front of the window of the school broadcasting room, to all kinds of codes...

Such a bright and proud man.

Gu Jing also found out that something was wrong. She probably never thought of the reason why Tang Shuhe was isolated. She just said at the class meeting that she should unite the class and not isolate herself.She also talked to me, after all, I used to be Tang Shuhe's best friend, of course I know why, but I can't say anything.Gu Jing sighed and couldn't continue.

I have always known about those gossips, but no one dared to spread their yin and yang in front of me, and punched the cotton, so I had to bear it.Until that day, in the cafeteria.

Yu Sihai and I were having dinner when I suddenly heard someone next to me say: "...then he must be disgusting, I don't even want to stay in this school anymore."

"...the seats have been changed, one south and one north."

"It's just that there are always girls around him. It's a pity that Bai Chang hangs himself, hahahahahahaha."

"Your liberal arts class just likes to make pussies."

"Fuck, he didn't come from the liberal arts class, but he transferred later."

I dropped my chopsticks and stood up: "Who the hell are you talking about?"

The boy in Class [-] who was chattering was taken aback for a moment, and said, "Hey, Brother Huai."

I said, "Fuck you, who are you talking about?"

The boy couldn't help but sneered and said, "Don't you know who to talk about?"

Yu Sihai stood up and stopped me: "Lu Er..."

The nameless fire made my head buzzing, I lifted the boy's dinner plate from Class [-], and the vegetable juice was all on him, he stared at me in astonishment: "Fuck..."

"Your mother." I said, "If you give me a fucking word about this, see if I can kill you."

"Lu Er, it's okay, Lu Huai," Yu Sihai hugged my waist and dragged me back, "Okay, let's go."

The boy behind him was still cursing in shock, saying "Ouch, fuck me".

"Okay, don't be angry, you are so angry, I've never seen you like this before." Yu Sihai sat on the steps in front of the teaching building and comforted me, "Don't be angry, people didn't scold you after all."

"But he scolded..."

Yu Sihai looked up at me silently.

I saw the look in his eyes and was speechless for a moment.

He said slowly: "Lu Er, there are some things I have wanted to say for a long time. Although I didn't say anything about the sports meeting, but... To be honest, let me encounter this matter, although I won't be like Li Rui, in my heart It must be... a little annoying."

He said: "But you don't seem to be disgusted at all. I think you have been quite uncomfortable during this time. What's wrong with you?"

I sat with my head down, and I said, "I don't know."

I really do not know.

Yu Sihai sighed and said, "Let's go."

On the way back to the classroom, we also met Tang Shuhe. He glanced at me, then lowered his head and hurried past.My mind was in a mess, and when I entered the classroom, I found that the classroom was even more messed up than my brain——

Tang Shuhe was standing there with a pale face, silently looking at his seat.

Someone knocked another chair upside down from his chair, and his schoolbag was thrown on the ground.The two chairs stacked together silently, like a loud slap.

My head buzzed.Tang Shuhe looked at the two chairs for a while, but said nothing. He bent down to move the chair above, but I blocked it.

I couldn't help panting, feeling that I was burning red from forehead to eyes.I walked over, picked up Tang Shuhe's schoolbag, patted the ashes and put it on his desk, picked up the upside-down chair, and put it on the podium. I gritted my teeth and asked, "Who did this?"

"Who did it."

No one answered, very quiet.

I kicked the chair off the podium, and with a bang, the wooden chair fell to the ground, cracking the poor-quality tiles in the classroom, and the girl who sat close uttered a scream.

I said, "I'm sorry."

I said: "Tang Shuhe, why did you take the materials I asked you to collect for me to the sports meeting? It was for me to apply for outstanding club cadres. Why did you just stuff it in your school bag? Why don't you keep it for yourself? Woolen cloth."

I said: "Tang Shuhe, come and sit next to me in the next class, come, let me see who the hell dares to buckle the chair on your seat."

After finishing speaking, I took Tang Shuhe's wrist and walked out. His wrist was frighteningly cold.Tang Shuhe was leaning on the corridor, I didn't dare to look up at his expression, I covered my forehead and said, "Wait a minute. I just can't see you being bullied, let me think about it... let me think about it."

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