Rebirth promises you to love

Send mayflies to the world, like a drop in the vast ocean.In high school textbooks, this is a task that requires memorization.When I usually read it, it is an arty art, but when I was driving in fear on the empty road illuminated by orange lights in the early morning, when I thought of this sentence, I was left in a daze.

I drove until the middle of the night, and finally got discouraged. I drove back to the underground garage instead of going upstairs directly. I dragged the front of my down jacket and walked out of the gate.

The winter in the early morning is extremely cold, and I feel myself shivering. The familiar scenery and the path we walked together are strange, desolate and cold.

Caressing the cold fitness equipment with blue and yellow paint, a gray back on a seat of the equipment in the corner made me stop on the spot.

"Ruchun?" I heard my voice hoarse and indistinct.

The figure was as motionless as a sculpture.

I felt my voice was trembling: "Ruchun, is that you?"

He lowered his head.

It's really my Ruchun!I ran over and held him in my arms, but he didn't resist or respond and let me hold him.I reached out for his hand, feeling out of control, his hand cold as a stone.

"Ruchun, why are your hands so cold, why are you sitting here in the middle of the night?"

He didn't say a word.

"Why don't you go home and don't answer your phone, do you know that I waited for you in the middle of the afternoon and looked for you all night?"

"It's a good thing you're okay, otherwise I don't know what to do?"

"Ruchun?"

My head was dizzy, but I still took his cold hand, "It's okay, let's go home, let's talk when we go home."

The corners of his mouth seemed to frame a smile, but it didn't work.I pulled him almost with the last of my strength, and repeated in a low voice, "Let's go home first, we'll talk when we get home, okay?"

He followed me without saying a word.

Finally, I took him home with me. I used to prepare hot water 24 hours a day. He was cold all over. I wrapped him up with a quilt and went to the bathroom to put hot water.

The water was finally put away, and I wanted to call him in, but my throat was hoarse and I couldn't make a sound.

I wanted to clear my throat, and I coughed dryly, who knew that I coughed violently uncontrollably, tears and snot flowing together, the sound of coughing covered the sound of splashing water, I covered my mouth in worry, and then laughed at myself, Han Ruo, do you think he is now Are you still nervous because of your cough?

I grabbed him who was obediently wrapped in a quilt, "Let's go, take a hot bath first."

Taking off his clothes one by one, the body I am familiar with, although not soft, has a firm and warm texture, a straight spine, and a tight waist. He sat motionless in the bathtub with his arms folded.

I brushed his body with bath flowers and saw that his skin was slightly stained with a healthy red. I let out a sigh of relief and suddenly found that my nose was blocked.

The clothes on my body were all wet by the splashing water from the bathtub, I stood up in embarrassment, and wanted to go out to change a piece of clothes and take some cold medicine by the way.

"Han Ruo." Su Ruchun's voice was very soft, without any emotion.

Regardless of whether my clothes were wet or not, my nose was stuffy or my voice was hoarse, I sat back on the tiles on the edge of the bathtub.

"Don't go."

I felt that my eye sockets were hot, and I didn't know if it was a cold or something. My heart was sore, and I buried my forehead in the socket of his neck, and the dense water vapor rushed up, and I felt a bit of stability in my uncertain heart.

Then I took a hard bite at the thin layer of flesh covering the protruding collarbone.

He stretched out his wet arms and hugged me tightly through the clothes. The strength was so great that my bones all over my body felt pain.

Then I don't know anything.

When I woke up, my eyes were sleepy, and the person beside me looked at me quietly with my forehead propped up.

His cheeks were a little pale, his eyes were a little black and blue, and there was a narrow eye bag, and red blood could be seen faintly in the eyes.

I propped myself up: "Ruchun, what happened to me yesterday? Why can't I remember anything?"

He rubbed my hair, feeling a little helpless, "You, you have a cold and drive around Beijing city at night? Don't you know how much you weigh? Do you really think you are made of iron?"

"I didn't realize that I just got a cold when I got home last night. Who knew I was so weak?" I always felt that I was as strong as a cow. Who would have thought that a few black and white reversals plus a cold and worry would make me lose face in front of him? ?

He went to the water dispenser and got a glass of water. Then he dug out the medicine box in the drawer and took out a few medicines. "After eating it, the temperature of the water should be just right."

After swallowing a few pills on an empty stomach, I had a bitter taste in my mouth.

"You don't need to go to the hospital?"

"No, I have surgery in the afternoon." He covered his eyes tiredly, I stopped disturbing him and watched him fall asleep beside me.

When I found Ruchun yesterday, his appearance was as stiff as a stone statue, his expression was like a lost child, without the slightest hesitation of refuge, without the slightest sense of loss of security.

It turned out that I was innocent and passionate, but I couldn't even give him a sense of security.

As a lover, it's okay to fail.

The next day, I was notified by the teacher that the project was going to Qinghai, and she only chose me among the graduate students she brought.

She asked me to translate a 200-page professional document in English, and I had to translate her PDF photos word by word overnight and send them over.Even if I know that she treats me as a free labor force and doesn't bother the part-time translators with varying levels of quality and nearly a hundred words, I have to obediently do so.

I am a person who has lived a new life. I naturally know when to compromise and when to be wronged. I also count on her to give me the opportunity to do an internship, let me participate in the project, help me submit a thesis, write a recommendation letter, and go abroad to study for a doctor.

When I left the east gate of R, the feeling of being watched by someone came again.

I crossed the overpass and walked into the small street with rows of shops opposite the east gate, until I came to a small T-shaped intersection at the end of a road, and I stopped.

Beside the dried fruit shop, I saw Han Qi's face.

He was wearing a dark gray jacket, black corduroy trousers, half-white hair, and fine lines around his eyes. I found him a little embarrassed.

I frowned: "These days, have you been following me?"

"I went to look for you at home. Your mother told me that you were in R University. Your phone number changed, but your mother refused to tell me. I can only try my luck. I want to say a few words to you several times. You seven It's gone without a trace."

I held back and said, "Why are you looking for me? Didn't I say you can live in the house as you please? Don't chase me and pay me the rent."

I am not the Virgin Mary. If he puts down the butcher knife, I will help him to become a Buddha immediately.

"Your Auntie Ding and I have broken up."

"Oh, congratulations," I said.Even a man should feel lucky to get off the bus, not to mention that it is a dilapidated bus that has been driving for many years and is close to the scrapping level.

"Han Ruo, Dad misses you very much." He stepped forward and grabbed my hand.

There were people coming and going on the small street, I whispered: "Let go, I haven't had a father for many years."

After all, I couldn't bear to look at his face. I didn't know whether his expression was sad or guilty, regretful or self-blaming, so I walked quickly in the direction of Shuang'an shopping mall.

Blood is thicker than water, broken bones are still connected with tendons.

I felt that my eyelashes were wet and my lenses were blurred by something, and I told myself it was eye discomfort caused by a cold.

When I got home at night, it was rare for Su Ruchun to come back early.

"So early today?"

He took off his coat and put it in his hands, and came to hug me, "It's a simple drainage of hydrocephalus, a minor operation."

I said: "Ruchun, are you still angry?" I was already exhausted.

Su Ruchun didn't speak for a long time, and asked after a while, "How is Cheng Cheng?"

"That bastard Zheng Feng gave her some medicine that she shouldn't be taking, but she will be fine after a few days of cultivation."

"What medicine shouldn't be taken?" Su Ruchun frowned. "poison?"

"No, although Zheng Feng is crazy about playing, he is very careful. Forgive him for not using any addictive drugs on Chi Cheng. It's just a little aphrodisiac. Sometimes he likes to be with people who have taken drugs. Go to bed, it will be very high, very enjoyable."

"I thought you were just playful, but I didn't expect you to be depraved." The outraged reprimand made me stay where I was, as if my head had been swept by some strong wind.

Oh, so harsh.When I was in junior high school and had a puppy love with a little girl, my mother found out, she also showed full trust in me in front of the teacher, and helped me solve the entanglement with that girl in private.

Maybe it's because I've been spoiled in my two lifetimes, and I really can't laugh at such severe accusations and admonitions at this age.

I simply kept silent, I thought that although I played crazy among my peers in college, I never took drugs, always paid attention to safety, and never threatened girls. I don't think it's any different from boys DIY in the dormitory.

After I was with him, who was I not clear with?I go home on time every day and wait for him like a housewife. I don’t go to bars or clubs, and I even decline the birthday parties of girls I hang out with.

Zhao Mei said that this is my problem, but what else can I do?

He spoke suddenly, with an unusually cold and sharp voice, "You also like to sleep with people who have taken drugs? It seems that the record that both of us brothers and sisters fell in your hands is nothing to you."

I think this sentence stabbed my heart like icicles, "Believe it or not, Chi Cheng and I have nothing. She was very excited the night before, and it might not be so uncomfortable to do it with her hands even once, but I Selfish, after all, I stayed with her all night, not only because I knew she was your cousin, but also because I didn't want to touch anyone else when I had you."