Rebirth promises you to love

April 2011, Bangkok, Thailand.

I took my hands off the steering wheel and stretched out of boredom.

As long as there is a traffic jam in Bangkok, it will take more than half an hour.

Fortunately, it is the German origin of the BMW 7 Series, and the conditions in the car are comfortable enough.

By the way, I watched some news on my mobile phone, and the car in front finally started to move.

The Thai police saluted me.

I drive over.

As a P3 in the United Nations (UN official ranks, from top to bottom, P5, P4, P3, P3, P2, P1, no P, intern), I am very satisfied with my current life.

Good welfare protection, respected status.The salary is not high, but the people I deal with are all outstanding talents from all over the world. Most of the people who don’t have a P under them are from the Ivy League. As far as China is concerned, most of the interns are from Tsinghua University and Peking University.

God has indeed been kind enough to me.

Xiao Nian has received the best public education in the United States.

I drove into the UN compound, where most of the cars parked were the same as mine.

Those of us can buy cars tax-free, and when the term of office is up, we can sell second-hand cars. Not only will we not lose a penny, but we may also earn money.

While eating at noon, I heard the news that Scot, who is the P4 of his immediate boss, is getting married, and the marriage will be held on weekends.

I wiped the corners of my mouth and went to drink coffee with everyone.

On the one hand, he was secretly speechless about Scot's second marriage this year.

From the time he came to work to today, except for his original German, his second and third wives are all Thai girls in their 20s, and Scot is already close to fifty and his belly is about to bulge out.

I don't know if it's because Thai girls pay too much attention to status and fame, or because he has no integrity.

Friday night, jet-lagged, I called home.

When talking about recent developments, it is inevitable to mention Scot's second marriage.

The speaker was turned on over there. Mother was silent for a while, and grandma sighed.

After a while, the mother asked: "You have been outside for so long, have you never thought about finding a mother for Xiao Nian?"

"Xiao Nian is very independent."

"Then do you like the other one? Everyone is looking for the second one, why don't you have any?"

"No."

"I asked you last time, didn't you say that you have a lot of girls in the United Nations? Didn't a girl from Malaysia call home to find you when you came back last time?"

"It's just a colleague. Mom, don't worry about it. I have a son too, and I'm not in a hurry to carry on the family line. Besides, it's not my turn to carry on the lineage. Isn't there news from uncle?"

"What kind of person are you looking for? Let me see that all the ones I know are interesting to you are good. That Lithuanian girl is just a little fatter and likes to drink a little wine, it's nothing, she looks the same That's pretty good. The German one looks a bit old-fashioned, but I think it's okay."

I smiled wryly, "I think it's fine now, Mom, don't worry about it."

On the other side, the grandmother said, "You traveled across the ocean by yourself. Aren't we worried at home and hope that someone will take care of you?"

"Uncle was alone at the beginning, and he lived a good life."

My mom said, "Are you still thinking about the old one?"

In front of grandma, it was difficult for her to explain the identity of that person.

But over the years, I've only had one of those.

"Mom, can you stop talking?"

I found my voice growing uncontrollably cold.

My mother seemed to pick up the phone and changed the room, "Are you still resenting me?"

"You are my mother, what do I resent you for?"

My heart is very peaceful now, and I am living a good life. What can I complain about?

We said a few words in a mild manner, and we hung up the phone.

I didn't expect to meet Ni Xianhe at the idyllic wedding party on the weekend night.

Ni Xianhe was wearing a milky white suit, a pink shirt, and a light yellow narrow tie. He was younger than he was back then. He looked like a freshman in his early 20s.

I always feel that my biological age is younger than him, but I look much older than him, and I am deaf in my right ear, which makes me more elderly.

Ni Xianhe called me several times before I heard,

Surprised only for a moment, I regained my composure, "Why are you living so young and looking like a college student?"

"You won't forget it after staying abroad for a long time. Treat people with sex, and love with love. I can stay by his side now because I look younger. You don't know it."

The two of us sat down at a small round table with our dinner plates, and the smiles on the corners of our mouths were indeed more bitter than the other.

He and Datou have been on and off for so many years, I have long learned to be careless.

"What about you, don't you want a companion?" This companion, male or female, probably counts.

I shook my head.

The words came to my lips several times, and I wanted to ask how Ruchun was, but I couldn't ask.

What can I do if I ask?People may already be the hot head of the kang with their wives and children.

And that handsome and cold Young Master Shao.

"You can't be, are you sick?"

Ni Xianhe really couldn't say anything good, so I said, "You are the only one who is sick."

"Honestly, you are old enough to live like this?"

"You look like my mother."

He took a quick bite of the steak and said, "What's wrong with your ears, can't hear?"

I twitched my lips, "How do you know?"

He didn't know whether he was busy eating or thinking, and after a while he said, "Lin Li'an said."

It's just that I thought about it so much and didn't tell Lin Li'an specifically.

But I don't care about these anymore.

"You still think about him?"

Ni Xianhe asked while wiping his mouth.

I tapped my temple with my index finger, "I'm thinking about the documents I'm going to draw up tomorrow."

Avoid answering.

Ni Xianhe said: "Back then—"

I quickly interrupted him, "How about him and Mr. Shao? Or stick together? Will his wife be willing?"

"Young Master Shao? Which Young Master Shao?" Ni Xianhe's face turned pale.

"Which one else? The Shao Yongzhi that I often see in the newspapers, otherwise, how would I know?"

Ni Xianhe stood up and held my wrist, "Listen, if it's Shao Yongzhi, then things are definitely not as simple as you think, and you should go back and have a look."

I smiled, "It's okay, simple or complicated, I don't think about it anymore."

Over the years, who can count how many times I have thought of him.

That fashion is a good time. After taking a shower, I let my hair loose and lay on the bed to let it dry naturally.The mid-afternoon sun was shining softly on me, and the sleeping insects started to drill into their brains after a while.

He even said with a straight face that if he sleeps too much, he will become a pig.

I squinted my eyes and approached his fragrant arms, the woody fragrance was as abundant and warming as the spring breeze.

I said, if you bring the magazine and read it to me, I might be able to wake up better.

He asked, which one do you want to listen to?

I replied, any one, as long as it is a little longer.

he asked why

I say, because it takes a long time to read the long words.

He asked, then why listen to the long one?

She said, so you will talk about it for a long time until I fall asleep.

He already had countless operations waiting, countless consultations waiting, and he had to check information, do research and write papers.But he sat beside me for a while and read from the beginning until I fell asleep.

The memory is so good, and the longing is so long.

He treats me so well, I really can't let it go, but it doesn't mean that I have to resent him for living a life.

I still wish him well.

When you no longer have it, the only thing you can do is to let yourself not forget.

What I once had is good, and I will remember it in my heart for a lifetime.

It's not that I haven't thought about finding someone to start over, and it's not that I really want to become a monk in South Putuo, and I want to die alone.

But I still can't pick up that heart.

I'm old and I can't afford it.

It was midnight when I got off the plane from Capital Airport.

I took my luggage and took a taxi to the hotel to prepare for the next day's international meeting.

In the five-star hotel on the East Second Ring Road, as soon as I got out of the car, I saw Zhao Mei holding the arm of a very handsome man.

These days are really good days to meet acquaintances.

As soon as Zhao Mei saw me, he let go of the man's hand.

The man glanced at me, strode over, and shook my hand.

"Hi, I'm Dianxiangru."

"I have long admired the name."

Mr. Dan got into a Porsche Cayenne, Zhao Mei dragged my arm into the hotel lobby, and said straight to the face, "Are you still in the mood to come back?"

"How come you don't look like a lady even if you become a wealthy lady?"

She lifted the hair in front of her, and said, "What does it matter to you whether I look like a lady? Why are you so cruel, and you haven't set foot in this city of Beijing for so many years and don't contact us?"

Am I cruel?

I'm just scared.

"You don't have anything to do, I have to check in quickly, and there is an international meeting tomorrow morning."

"where do you work now?"

"Bangkok, United Nations ESCAP. This time I will go back after a week of meetings."

"The scenery is infinite."

I don't care about the sarcasm in her words, "It's finally stable and respected. A few years ago, I also made a fortune from several property transactions. Now I put it in the stock market for a long time, and I have some spare money on hand. What? All good."

"You're fine with everything, so you don't care about him at all?"

"Take care, what qualifications do I have?"

"Don't tell me those yin and yang things, are you really not going to turn back?"

I felt blood rushing up for a moment, "If I turn around, I have to be willing to take it! I heard later that he plans to marry Song Yulu? I wonder how old the child is now?"

Zhao Mei directly grabbed my shirt collar, "Marry? With whom? Song Yulu? Damn! Song Yulu feels disgusting when he touches him! My son, he has been alone for five years. If he is willing to let others accompany him, he will so bitter?"

Still feeling puzzled, the high heels stomped on my feet.

"What did you say?" I turned my left ear to the side, and I didn't hear what she said just now.

She suddenly fell silent, "Your ears are not good yet?"

"How do you know?"

"It's only a fool like you who thinks you can hide it from him. He already knew." Zhao Mei smiled with tears.

I was shocked.

Then he shook his head, "Does he know, what does it have to do with me?"

Zhao Mei gritted his teeth, "You are so cruel."

"Hmph, he said that I'm a burden, a burden, and he doesn't love me anymore. Why do I bother to be hated?"

"That's why he lied to you."

I bow my head.

Lied to me?

The darkest year in my memory, my visa is in September, I went to see him secretly a few times, and which time was it not with a handsome and cold young man?Be intimate, if everyone in the world knows about homosexuality, everyone in the world can see what kind of relationship they have.Don't tell me that Su Ruchun has such great face that he can invite the heir of the Shaw Enterprise to accompany him in a play.

Or she was with Song Yulu with her hands full of wedding supplies.Isn't he going to get married?Didn't he choose otherwise?

How did I compromise in despair and get my passport back and flee to the UK?And how he gritted his teeth and forgot to sleep and eat for two years to get a doctorate, and how difficult it was to win the highest award for papers in Europe that only occurs once every four years, and in the following days, he wrote a book as the first author The monograph, successfully applied for the vacancy of the United Nations?

In the five years without him, I have become a machine, what else do you want from me?

Is it true that I am worthy of him only when I am dead, and that I truly love him only when I am half dead?

Zhao Mei said, "You don't believe me?"

I smiled quietly.

Zhao Mei pushed me, and the backpack hit my face, "Of course he lied to you, how could he not love you? He loves you so much! Loves you so much! He loves you so much that he even wants to think of a reason for you to break up , love to the point of breaking up, he can tell you! He only lied to you once in his life, just to save you from being in a dilemma, so that you don’t have to bear the burden of making choices between your family and him, so that you don’t have to endure a job you don’t like , so that you can go to the future you like. He will not lie to you, and he will not let you go. You can study abroad, get your Ph. D., and be your UN official, so glamorous and elegant? Your mother knelt in front of him and begged him to let go , your aunt refused Su Li to come to his door, saying that you would ruin your future by following him, and you lost one ear because of him! What else can he do? What can you let him do? Why, are you still You want to tell me that you have to marry a Thai wife in a few days to be worthy of him?"

My heartbeat almost stopped, "Then what is Shao Yongzhi? What is Song Yulu?"

Zhao Mei let out a breath, "I don't know about Shao Yongzhi, I only know that the person next to Shao Yongzhi is not Su Ruchun, and the person next to Shao Yongzhi in recent years is not him either. The value of marriage, but at the end of the year, he suddenly said that he would be a doctor without borders, and the marriage was even more inconclusive."

Zhao Mei's tears hit the back of my hand, but I seemed to have dry eye syndrome, my eyes hurt, but I couldn't shed a single tear.

I faintly felt that something was wrong, I shouldn't have been blinded by Shao Yongzhi and made Song Yulu dizzy, and I shouldn't have been forced away by Su Ruchun's indifference.

A turbulent sea surged up in my heart, and when a wave hit, it was nothing more than a sharp knife piercing my heart.

Blood dripping.

I remembered what she said about her mother, "Talk well, you said my mother went to him, and my aunt knew about it? My mother clearly had an agreement with me, and it was clear that the deadline we agreed on was not yet reached ?”

Zhao Mei sneered, "Are you stupid, or do you trust your family too much? Don't you know that there is a method in this world called double insurance?"

The next day's meeting took place as scheduled.

Nobody knew, and my thoughts raced as I read the opening words.

No wonder, my mother always has such a cautious tone, and asks if I resent her.

It turned out that she had done such tricks back then.

Use Ruchun's love for me to force him.

I pulled out the rings from my necklace.

It was the Cartier three-color gold that he said he had saved his wife's money for a long time.

When we broke up, I wanted to give it back to him in a fit of anger, but in the end I was spineless and reluctant.

Bought an identical replacement and returned it.

The metallic texture sticks to my lips, and I think the taste is bitter and salty.