Nongben is passionate

Everything seemed to be going in a good direction, and Xie Mingyu even felt that he was completely healed. However, reality hit him hard again, and the drug addiction that he had deliberately forgotten caught him off guard again like a demon.

It was in his own apartment, and he was drawing, and the itch began to spread from the hand holding the paintbrush, and his hand began to tremble uncontrollably, and he grabbed his wrist with the other hand, but it didn't work, it was very painful. Soon his body started to feel cold, he could feel his skin twitching involuntarily, the pain and itchiness drilled into his bones along the pores, he rubbed his whole body vigorously to relieve the itching, but it was useless at all, his whole body curled up on the ground, his mouth began to secrete saliva, he was in a state of embarrassment Like a dog, there seemed to be thousands of ants gnawing on the bones, sore and painful. He scratched the skin and couldn't relieve it. It was like death. He tried to think of everything that could give him strength. For example, Xie Xuan, for example, the old lady Ouyang, if he becomes a drug addict, he would rather die than die. However, soon, these will no longer work, and everything has left him far away. There was only one thought in his head, and that was the needle—he wanted nothing but relief from that pain—

He almost crawled to open the drawer of the bedside table, and his hand touched the heroin hidden by him——

When the sinful liquid entered his veins, he felt a kind of indescribable joy, and he fell into a half-dream, half-awake state, and all fantasies seemed to be experienced personally--dreams come true, they are meant to be. The most irresistible temptation in this world.

The phone kept ringing beside him, but like a glass cover, he didn't even want to move his fingers.

When the trance and happiness brought to him by heroin gradually faded away, he suddenly felt chills all over his body, not because of his body, but because of his psychology. He felt a deep fear and loathing. It was the first time that Xie Mingyu loathed himself so strongly and despised himself. , the kind of anger at himself made him go crazy and throw all the fables in the room, easels, paints, brushes, bed sheets, ashtrays, his eyes were red like a trapped animal, he was panting violently, his body There seemed to be a red-hot carbon ball inside. He wanted to stay away from the burning pain. He screamed and screamed. His internal organs were burned and turned into ashes. Finally, he fell on the ground exhausted. On the bare mattress, staring blankly at the bare ceiling.

The phone kept ringing while being wrapped in the bed sheet, Xie Mingyu knew it was Xie Xuan without looking at it—they originally agreed to visit Xie Xuan's grandmother together in Zhou Tang.But now, let alone going to Zhoutang, he doesn’t even want to hear Xie Xuan’s voice. The four walls of the room are pressing against him, and the space is getting smaller and smaller. In the hopeless situation of powerlessness, he doesn't want to do anything, he doesn't want to see anyone, he just wants to lie down like this, forget himself, forget Xie Xuan, forget everything, and let the world forget himself like this——

It was already night when Xie Xuan saw Xie Mingyu again. At that time, he had made countless phone calls and searched all the places where Xie Mingyu might go. He was anxious and worried about the speculation that Xie Mingyu might have an accident. He walked into the noisy small bar and saw Xie Mingyu sitting at the bar, smoking a cigarette and playing dice games with the bartender, with a drunken smile on his face, like colorful lights pouring on the sloshing water.

Xie Xuan should have been angry at first, he looked for him all afternoon, but he just cared about having fun, he even forgot their agreement, but he didn't even have the strength to get angry, he felt tired——

Xie Mingyu saw him and raised her hand to greet him.

Xie Xuan squeezed past a few young people who had taken drugs, came to the bar, sat on the high stool next to Xie Mingyu, put his coat aside, "Why didn't you answer the phone?"

The noise in the bar overwhelmed Xie Xuan's words, Xie Mingyu greeted the bartender with an unusual excitement and gave Xie Xuan a glass of martini, "Try the wine here, the mixing method is different from other places."

Xie Xuan didn't want to drink at all. Although he was very thirsty, Xie Mingyu was like a child who would not give up until he reached his goal. He kept persuading him and even asked the bartender, "Ken, tell my third brother how special this wine is. Let me tell you about the metaphor you just told me..."

Before the bartender opened his mouth, Xie Xuan took the glass and drank it in one gulp without any taste at all. Xie Mingyu became happy, laughed, and the two brothers hooked Xie Xuan's neck with one arm, bowed their heads and took a sip With a cigarette in his other hand, he said to the bartender, "Do you know who this is?"

The bartender smiled politely.

Xie Mingyu was about to say something, but Xie Xuan took away his arm around his neck, took a deep breath of his cigarette, and then stifled it out on the bar. He stared into Xie Mingyu's eyes and said, "You Remember what to do today?

Xie Mingyu smiled and nodded, "I remember."

"It was you who said to go to Zhoutang to see grandma."

"Yes." Xie Mingyu nodded again, and then turned his gaze to those young people on the dance floor who were swaying wildly after taking drugs, "But I don't want to think about it now."

Xie Xuan frowned, "Why?"

Xie Mingyu stretched her feet and said expressionlessly, "No reason, I'm happy."

Xie Xuan looked deeply at Xie Mingyu, disappointment flashed in his eyes, he didn't say a word, took his coat and passed through the crowd, leaving the noisy bar.

This is not a high-end bar area in the urban area. The main consumers are those angry young people who have nothing to do and have fun. The environment is not good. Neon is like an unreal dream.

Standing in front of a wall full of graffiti and smoking, the occasional passing car lights would illuminate his tired face for a moment.When a cigarette was almost finished, Xie Mingyu came out, like a middle school student who was kicked out of the classroom halfway and punished to stand. He leaned against the wall, lowered his head, looking like he was doing nothing, neither of them spoke.

Xie Xuan flicked the cigarette away, and the scarlet color flickered in the dark and then went out.Xie Xuan said: "Why is it so difficult for us to be together—" This is not like a questioning, but rather a question to myself after exhaustion.

Xie Mingyu looked into the distance with her dark eyes, and said, "Since it's so difficult, then don't be together."

Xie Xuan turned her head and stared at him in disbelief, trying to discern the truth of what he said.

Xie Mingyu avoided his gaze, looked at the signboard of a foot bath center on the front right, and said, "Go find your Zhou Nansheng, I will live my colorful life—"

"Xie Mingyu!" Xie Xuan's eyes burst into anger, and his facial muscles tensed.

Xie Mingyu looked back without timidity, and the corners of his slightly raised lips showed a hint of sarcasm and sadness, "Isn't that right? If you have to face burnout, boredom, or even mutual resentment in the end, it's better to separate now. Anyway, let's leave some good things for each other, and when I think about it later, I can have a good affair on the spot."

Xie Xuan didn't speak for a long time, just looked at Xie Mingyu, as if looking at a stranger, "Is this what you want?"

Xie Mingyu didn't answer.

The expression on Xie Xuan's face slowly cooled down, as cold as marble, his gaze passed through the wall, and seemed to drift into the distance, "When I was studying in England, I watched a French movie, a middle-aged man and a woman They decided to break up when they were in love the most. In order to avoid the boredom and slack that will inevitably come, they decided to freeze their love when it was in full bloom, leaving the best memory for each other for future nostalgia. Watch this together The students in the film highly praised this approach, thinking that this kind of courage is beyond the reach of ordinary people, but I doubt that being unable to face all the faces of life, is this brave or a guilty conscience?"

His eyes fixed on Xie Mingyu, like a cold scalpel, "Xie Mingyu, I don't want any enviable love affairs or vigorous and heart-breaking memories, I want it for the rest of my life." After he finished speaking, he walked across the road and sat in the Got the Maybach and left.

Xie Mingyu knew that he had successfully hurt Xie Xuan.

Xie Xuan was driving the car, surrounded by anger, disappointment, and sadness in his mind, and he didn't know where he was going. When he recovered, he found that he was on the way to Zhoutang. At this time, Zhoutang had already calmed down. And the old lady must have fallen asleep. He knows how inappropriate it will be for him to go there at this time. He will wake up the old man, and everyone will be in a hurry because of his arrival. He may even disturb the neighbors. He should Turn around and go back immediately, the company still has a lot of things waiting for him to deal with tomorrow——

He has always suspected that the Liu family's secret base on Formosa Island should have been a military base or a military warehouse. He sent people to find several famous historians and engineers for on-the-spot investigation. According to their preliminary identification, it should be a military base. The projects before and after the founding of the People's Republic of China are likely to be the secret armament warehouse built by the Kuomintang. The structure of the base is complex and huge. The Liu family has only developed a part of it, and it is very likely that the original armaments are still stored in it. If this discovery is true, then Formosa Island It's going to be hot for a while, this is Xie Xuan's trump card, he has done a good job of keeping it secret, trying to expose it at the most suitable opportunity, and his original plan has to be changed accordingly.

He has too many things to do, too many ambitions to realize, he doesn't have that much energy to focus on the love of his children, but even though he knows it in his heart, the car still drives all the way to Zhoutang.

It was already midnight when he arrived at Zhoutang, the night sky was quiet and thin, and there were a few stars, which were also quiet and thin. Occasionally, he heard a dog barking in the village alley, which made the whole village even more quiet. .

The nanny who opened the door was startled when she saw Xie Xuan with a sleepy face, "Mr. Xie, why are you here at this time?"

Xie Xuan glanced upstairs, but said nothing.The nanny hurriedly let Xie Xuan into the room, looking at Xie Xuan cautiously with an uneasiness on her face.Xie Xuan glanced at her, "I'm here to see the old lady, I'm bothering you so late."

The nanny breathed a sigh of relief, and waved her hands again and again, "No, Mr. Xie came from Wuhe? Let me make you something to eat. I'm so tired after driving so far—"

Xie Xuan didn't refuse, he was indeed hungry, so the nanny went to the kitchen to make egg noodles for him.Aunt Zheng, the nurse who took care of the old lady, also came down. Originally, Xie Xuan told Aunt Zheng that she would come to see the old lady in the afternoon, but Aunt Zheng waited all afternoon, but she didn't wait for Xie Xuan. She thought he was too busy with work. "The old lady asked about you in the afternoon, why didn't you come?"

Xie Xuan felt very guilty, "Is the old lady asleep?"

Aunt Zheng said: "I'm asleep. The old man sleeps less now. He wakes up before four o'clock in the morning and goes to bed at seven o'clock in the evening, but he doesn't fall asleep right away. When people are old, they are timid and have to sleep with the light on. I light an aromatherapy lamp for her by the bed, and sometimes I play some Chinese opera for her, she loves to listen to this, and also to Zhou Xuan's songs—"

Xie Xuan nodded, "Something happened in the afternoon, the old lady has been waiting for a long time?"

"It hasn't been long. The old man has a bad memory now. He was looking forward to it at first, but he forgot in a blink of an eye. It's just that he really doesn't like to move now. No matter how coaxed, he refuses to get up and walk. This is not good for his health."

Xie Xuan stood up, "I'll go up and see her."

Aunt Zheng originally wanted to say that we should watch it tomorrow, but seeing Xie Xuan's expression, she swallowed her words and said, "Then keep your voice down, the old man is very sensitive now, and he tends to wake up at night."

Xie Xuan went upstairs lightly. The aroma lamp was still on in the old lady's room, and the air was filled with a calming fragrance. The old lady was sleeping on the big bed she shared with the old man, looking extraordinarily light. , exceptionally small.

Xie Xuan originally just wanted to take a look and leave, but he found that the old lady was not asleep at all or woke up again, looking at him with light brown eyes in confusion——

Xie Xuan said softly, "Grandma, did I wake you up?"

The old lady didn't speak, just looked at Xie Xuan silently, and said after a while: "It's so strange, you are like my third son."

Xie Xuan's eyes became hot all of a sudden, he licked her quilt like the old lady licked her quilt when he was a child, and said, "Grandma, I am San'er."

The old lady didn't seem to believe it, and looked at him for a while without turning her eyes, before she seemed to believe it, "You seem to be my third son."

Xie Xuan said again: "Grandma, I am San'er, your grandson."

The old lady frowned slightly as if puzzled, "My grandson?"

"Yes, you have three grandchildren, a granddaughter, and a lovely great-grandson."

"Really? I don't remember anything?" She looked very worried.

"It's okay, I'll tell you slowly, shall we sleep now?"

"San'er said he came to see me today, why didn't he come? Do you know my San'er? Why doesn't he come to see me?"

Xie Xuan's nose was sore, "I'm sorry, grandma, I will visit you often in the future."

The old lady frowned, a little unhappy, "Why do you call me grandma, you are not San'er?"

Xie Xuan stuffed her with the quilt again, "Grandma, I am San'er."