cheongsam boy

After being drunk, Song Rin was obedient and soft, like a chocolate marinated in wine, she peeled it off, and before it was taken into her belly, her heart softened between her lips and teeth.

Gu Zhuo ate and ate, and became a little drunk, his body began to disobey, and his actions during the conquest were unavoidably rough. When he woke up the next afternoon, he looked at the torn word Yunbei on the cheongsam. Buckle, I just feel flustered.

Before Song Rin woke up, Gu Zhuo hurriedly dug out the needle and thread from the suitcase to mend it. Just as the last stitch was put away, Bian Yan's phone called.

Gu Zhuo melted the end of the thread with a lighter, took off the thimble on his finger, and connected the phone.

Bian Yan's voice came: "Li Juan's younger brother is back today, I'm afraid she won't have time to take you there, but she has already communicated with the person in charge in advance, I will send you the address and time, and the contact information of the person in charge Alright, just take Song Rin and go directly."

Hearing Bian Yan's words, Gu Zhuo suddenly remembered the most important thing for him to come to Beicheng this time. He hurriedly thanked him, and then opened the message interface to see the news sent by Bian Yan.

But to Gu Zhuo's surprise, in addition to the above information, Bian Yan also sent him a series of numbers, indicating shoulder width, hand length, waist circumference, etc.

Looking at those numbers, Gu Zhuo raised his eyebrows with great interest, and he asked meaningfully: "What are these? 38.1, 90, 65.2..."

Bian Yan interrupted with a light cough, and he cleared his throat: "Didn't you just give you the specific size yesterday, so I can make it. I... order it from you. See if you have enough measurements."

When Bian Yan said this, there was a rare kind of deliberate deliberation in his tone, Gu Zhuo listened comfortably, and he didn't say the little joke in his heart.

Gu Zhuo glanced at the size he sent, and replied: "It's still a hip circumference."

"Hips? How do you measure your hips?" Bian Yan asked.

Gu Zhuo took a towel and went to the bathroom, wet it and said, "Just use a soft ruler to press the tip of your buttocks around."

As soon as he finished speaking, Gu Zhuo quickly added: "It must be the tip of the buttocks, otherwise it is not allowed."

"Okay, I see, just wait a moment." Bian Yan replied.

Hearing Bianyan's reply, Gu Zhuo originally wanted to take it easy and let him take his time, but before he could say anything, a muffled moan came from the phone.

Chi Shu's hoarse and confused voice sounded, and when he listened carefully, he was a little bit coquettish: "I'm tired, can you stop coming...I'm really tired...I have evening self-study at night..."

"I know, I didn't come, you sleep, I will touch and rub it for you."

The annoying voice came along with a rustling sound, and the tone and tone were soft and gentle that Gu Zhuo had never heard before.

Gu Zhuo listened with astonishment and chills. He really couldn't imagine how he could say such a thing while hating that cold and hard appearance.

Gu Zhuo shook his head and quickly put the phone away.

After a while, just as Gu Zhuo was flattening the folds, a murmured voice came: "My tusk is 27.6... times 3.5... 27.6 times 3.5... 96.6. Yes, Gu Zhuo, the hip circumference is 96.6, I sent it to you."

The method of measuring the size by Bianfan really opened Gu Zhuo's eyes, he was a little speechless: "It's not Bianbian, don't tell me, all your measurements are measured by hand like this."

Bian Yan on the other end of the phone seemed a little guilty, and responded with a low voice.

Gu Zhuo covered the creases with a hot towel, took a bottle of mineral water and pressed it: "You are really...forget it, I am too lazy to talk about it. But let me explain to you first, you must be inaccurate in measuring this, and you will do it when the time comes." Don’t blame me if it’s tight or empty, and I’m sure I won’t refund your money.”

"I can measure it accurately," Bian Yan said firmly after listening to Gu Zhuo's words, "You can make it according to this size."

After Bian Yan said that, Gu Zhuo also knew that no matter how much he talked, it was useless, he complied, and then sent Bian Yan a few PDFs full of design materials.

Gu Zhuo took off the mineral water bottle and the hot towel, stretched out the fabric, and said, "Look at a few templates first, and write down any styles you like. I will finalize the style and details with you when I return to Nancheng."

Bian Ji said hello, and then asked about the deposit.Gu Zhuo had to wait for the deposit to be paid after everything was finalized, but he reported a basic price to Bian Yan in advance, so that he would know what to expect.

Although the two have known each other for a long time, and their partners are also classmates, but no matter what the relationship is, once it comes to money matters, it is better to make it clear.

Although I don't understand this truth, Gu Zhuo also understands it.

There was nothing much to talk about between the two, Gu Zhuo explained to Bian Yan a few things to pay attention to when reading the PDF, and then hung up the phone.He went to the bathroom to find a hair dryer, and turned on the low setting to dry the cheongsam. He had just hung up the cheongsam when he came out, when he heard a shout from behind.

Gu Zhuo let out a hasty cry, then poured a glass of warm water and walked over. He stroked Song Rin's hair back.

Song Rin took the water and took a big gulp. When he drank the water, his eyes were still blurred, and he looked not fully awake, but while drinking, he didn't know what he realized. His hazy eyes suddenly widened. He choked on his saliva in seconds.

In fact, just looking at Song Rin like this, Gu Zhuo knew what he was thinking. He thought it was funny, took out a paper and handed it over, and joked: "You are very good, you can't stop getting drunk."

In fact, what Gu Zhuo said is only half right. Song Rin is not only drunk, but the scenes after he is drunk will be more vivid and profound in his memory.

It is precisely for this reason that Song Rin, who is now sober, feels ashamed by himself last night.

He no longer wanted to worry about the scene where Gu Zhuo lied to him over and over again last night, because just the memory of him and Chi Shu hugging each other and crying like the brothers and sisters was enough for him to bury himself in the quilt and never want to open your eyes.

For the past 36 years, Song Rin has been well-behaved. He has never lost his composure and killed everyone. For a while, he didn't know what to do.

But fortunately, after Gu Zhuo quarreled with him for a while, he didn't continue. He put his arms around Song Rin, and gently pecked his lips: "Okay, I won't bother you anymore. Are you sober? Are you feeling sick?"

The warm touch from his lips made Song Rin's embarrassment subside. He took a few deep breaths as a buffer, shook his head and said, "I don't feel uncomfortable."

Hearing Song Rin's words, Gu Zhuo was relieved, and he took a bathrobe for Song Rin: "Okay, then I'll order something to eat first, you wash up, and I'll take you to a place later."

"Going out?" Song Rin took the bathrobe, lifted the quilt without hesitation, and put it on directly, "Where are you going?"

Gu Zhuo didn't answer, but blinked at him mysteriously: "Secret. Just follow me."

Since Gu Zhuo said it was a secret, Song Rin also consciously stopped asking more questions and handed over the itinerary to him with confidence.

Song Rin took the clothes and went to the bathroom, and came out to have dinner with Gu Zhuo after everything was done.Time goes by at an unhurried pace, but Song Rin is already used to Gu Zhuo's company, the bed beside her is filled with heat, the smell of the room that makes her blush and her heart beat when she wakes up every morning, and she is even more used to being in the room every day of her life. Servings for two in details.

Gu Zhuo also understands Song Rin very well. The meals are light and salty, the flowers on the table are rich and delicate, and the music full of ritual sense is also light and soothing. Everywhere in life reflects his love and affection for Song Rin. value.

It's been less than two months since the relationship was confirmed, but the two of them are like partners who have lived together for more than ten years, every move is very natural and comfortable.

After finishing the meal, Gu Zhuo naturally got up and packed the lunch box, supervised Song Rin to take the medicine, and then took him out of the hotel to the address sent by Bian Yan.

March is the most humid season in Beicheng, and with the drizzle last night, even the walls of taxis are covered with a thin layer of water droplets.

Song Rin has always hated such humidity, he even felt that the leather chair was wet, and he felt anxious and uncomfortable.

Gu Zhuo noticed carefully, he touched the back of Song Rin's neck, and asked in a soft tone: "What's the matter, is it the side effect of the medicine?"

"Maybe," Song Rin was a little unsure, "Suddenly I feel annoyed and flustered."

Hearing what he said, Gu Zhuo immediately became nervous, but his face was still calm. He held Song Rin into his arms, bowed his head and kissed her hair, "Don't panic, don't panic, close your eyes and take a deep breath, slowly think about why bother."

Actually, logically speaking, Song Rin has been taking this medicine for almost two weeks, and the adaptation period should have passed long ago, but I don't know if it's the weather today or the humid environment that made him start to show some effects after the medicine. side effects.

Emotions and reactions come suddenly.

Song Rin stretched out her hand and pulled Gu Zhuo's clothes away, and she fell halfway into his arms, tightly wrapping around his waist.

Without the barrier of heavy cotton clothes, the temperature and smell are more real, they form a high wall, enclosing Song Rin in this warm and soothing place.

Gu Zhuo is more effective than medicine.

Song Rin was gradually soothed, he followed Gu Zhuo's pat to sort out his thoughts, and replied: "This environment annoys me. I hate this humid environment, it's sticky, and I feel like I'm drowning in a swamp. "

When a depressed patient's emotions fluctuate, the senses and thoughts often follow suit, and to a large extent, they are more sensitive than usual, just like the heroine of a movie with a super body, who suddenly has superior perception.

Perception leads to thoughts, so at this time, thoughts appear in their minds that are very strange and incomprehensible to ordinary people.

At this time, please don't treat them as lunatics. From another perspective, geniuses are like this.

They are fallen geniuses.

Following Song Rin's words, Gu Zhuo looked around and accurately captured the factors that made him uneasy and irritable. He bent down and stretched his hands through Song Rin's knee sockets, hugged him on his lap, and wrapped him in his clothes Live, do your best to isolate him from this environment.

At this time, Song Rin didn't care about other people's eyes any more, and stayed quietly in Gu Zhuo's arms for a while, and suddenly, he said: "Open the window, I want to blow the wind, I want the wind to blow me dry. "

"Okay," Gu Zhuo agreed first, but then he patted Song Rin on the back and said in a negotiating tone, "Is it okay to drive halfway? Don't catch a cold, I have the flu recently."

Song Rin hesitated for a while, but still agreed, and the two of them maintained this posture all the way, and they didn't separate until they got off the car.

When I was in the car just now, Song Rin squinted for a while, and now that I woke up, I was out of the humid environment again, and my mood was gradually calming down.

Song Rin recalled all the things just now, and felt a little irritable. He grabbed Gu Zhuo's hand and said apologetically, "I'm sorry, I was really annoying just now, it suddenly became like that, I..."

"It's okay BB, sorry for what you said," Gu Zhuo stretched out his arms to hug him, "Don't feel guilty, and don't be afraid that I will be annoyed, I won't be annoyed. On the contrary, if you feel uncomfortable, just tell me, Come to me, it will make me feel that you need me, you depend on me, it feels good to be needed and depended on."

Gu Zhuo's words accurately hit the uneasiness in Song Rin's heart, like injecting a warm soothing agent, soothing all bad emotions.

Song Rin had never felt so lucky, he wanted to cry, he stretched out his arms to hug Gu Zhuo, and said thank you softly.

"Thank you, I am very happy to be needed by you." Gu Zhuo comforted me.

Although Gu Zhuo's tone was relaxed, he was nervous and worried in his heart. He observed Song Rin's state, and after thinking for a while, he asked tentatively: "I saw that the weather forecast said that it will rain later. I didn’t bring an umbrella, or I’d better go back and come back another day.”

"No, it doesn't matter even if it's raining. When I got off the car just now, I saw a store across the street. I can buy one then." Song Rin said, "It's okay, just let me hug you, and it will be fine soon." .”

Many words need not be said clearly, both of them can understand.

Song Rin stayed in Gu Zhuo's arms for a while before sorting out his emotions. He came out of his arms and straightened Gu Zhuo's clothes. He didn't say much, but just stretched out his hands and clasped his fingers tightly.

Feeling the warmth in the palm of his hand, Gu Zhuo also knew that Song Rin had recovered, so he didn't continue to entangle on this topic.

Gu Zhuo smiled at Song Rin, and then led him to the opposite community. The buildings in this community still have the gray walls of the last century. They look a bit old, and there are no guards, so you can go in directly.

Gu Zhuo took Song Rin to the location where Bian Yanfa was located, which was the center of community activities.

Song Rin stood by the concrete ping-pong table, listening to Gu Zhuo's phone call. There was a lady on the other end of the phone with a loud voice and an accent of Beicheng dialect.

After a while, the loud voice directly and truly exploded in my ears.

"Hey! Mr. Gu, right?"

Song Rin was taken aback. He followed the reputation and saw a lady with a red wool roll.

Gu Zhuo put away his mobile phone and greeted her: "Ms. Qin Man? Hello, I'm Gu Zhuo, and this is my lover, Song Rin."

Regarding Gu Zhuo's words, Qin Man didn't show any surprise on her face, she turned her eyes around the two of them, and said with a smile that they really match each other.

Song Rin smiled at her: "Hi, I'm Song Rin."

"Hey, hello, hello," Qin Man shook her hand back, she tightened her scarf, and said, "Here in the billiards room, by the way, Li Juan hasn't told me what's going on with you yet, is it Long-term participation, or just come here temporarily to experience and understand?"

Gu Zhuo led Song Rin to follow: "Come here temporarily to experience and understand, this is also the first time for us."

"Oh, you need to understand first," Qin Man said, she turned her head and smiled at the two of them, and comforted them, "Don't worry, the people in our team are kind and not bad, you can talk with confidence."

Having said that, just as they walked to the billiard room, Qin Man opened the door for them and welcomed the two of them in.

This billiard room is large, but the pool table only occupies a corner by the window, and the dust on it shows that it has not been used for a long time.

The remaining space has been cleaned, and there is a small round table in the middle, which is full of people.

As soon as Song Rin entered, he received everyone's attention. Because of his occupation, he didn't feel any discomfort, just curious.

Qin Man led the two to the vacant seats, poured water for them, and then introduced: "This is the first time for these two, and I came here to get to know each other. Although it is temporary, I hope everyone will treat them with the same attitude as regular members."

Qin Man should be very appealing in this, as soon as she spoke, Song Rin could clearly notice that the alienation and defense in those eyes were decreasing.

In fact, it’s all here, and Song Rin can basically guess what kind of group it is. He approached Gu Zhuo sideways, and asked in a low voice: "How did you think of bringing me to the mutual aid meeting?"

Listening to Song Rin's words, Gu Zhuo clenched his hand underneath, tilted his head and said seriously: "Because I want you to know that you are not abnormal, you are not a monster."

The heat in the palm of the hand burned all the way to the atrium along the veins. Song Rin really didn't expect that when he was sick, a random nonsense could make Gu Zhuo remember so deeply.

Song Rin suddenly felt a little sore, he turned his face away and calmed down, and then replied after his emotions calmed down a little: "Actually... I have participated in this kind of competition abroad before, but it's not about women's clothing, it's about resistance, but It doesn't seem to work for me."

This kind of mutual aid group is very common in foreign countries, such as drug abstinence, alcohol abstinence, healing post-war traumatic stress, etc. After Song Rin knew about it, she also placed her hope in it, not to mention relief, but to be relieved.

But in the end it turned out to be useless.

Hearing Song Rin's voice suddenly lowered, Gu Zhuo's heart ached. It turned out that his Chief Song had been trying to save himself.

Gu Zhuo clenched Song Rin's hand more and more: "It's okay, it doesn't have to be useful, let's just treat it as a relatively novel experience, don't put too much pressure on yourself."

Song Rin shook hands and said hello.

Qin Man turned up the heating a bit, trying to make the environment more comfortable, she looked around, and after confirming that it was correct, she put her hands together: "Okay, hello everyone, I am the member of this 'cognitive self-help group' The person in charge, Qin Man. Although some of you are already familiar with me, I still want to formally introduce myself."

Her joke eased the atmosphere a lot. Several people were tense, but now they have relaxed a lot.

Qin Man was obviously very satisfied with this result, she nodded and continued: "Here, you don't have to tell your real names, just have a title, but please speak out your worries and sorrows without reservation. , because only in this way can we help you. That's all I want to say, because there are new people joining, so we will not follow the original way this time, and choose an old member to start."

Speaking of this, Qin Man looked around the crowd in the room, and then fell on the man with a warrior's head opposite Song Rin.

"Brother Mu, are you coming?" Qin Man asked.

Brother Mu, who was pointed at, didn't show any twitch, his personality was as straightforward as his appearance, he complied, and then he bit his collar and pulled the zipper, and took off his down jacket, revealing a large tattoo on his body.

That tattoo is different from what you usually see, it is like snake scales all over Brother Mu's upper body, it looks a little scary at first glance.

Some people in the banquet were frightened, but they all restrained themselves from screaming.

Brother Mu is obviously used to it, he smiled at everyone, and put on his clothes: "I'm scared, don't be afraid, this is a snake scale tattoo, it's not a skin disease. I, actually, from a very young age, probably remember things From the very beginning, I began to fantasize that I was a python, or in other words, I felt that I should be a python. I would find videos to imitate their behavior and movements, and of course I would not eat raw meat like them. Later, when I became an adult, When I have financial means, I go to a tattoo parlor to find someone to do this kind of tattoo. Let’s start first, just a small piece on the inner arm, which is enjoyable... But in the end, one piece can’t satisfy me, two, three pieces... until now whole body."

Speaking of this, Brother Mu's eyebrows and eyes lowered along with his tone: "But then the attack also came. My friends and family all said that I was mentally ill and asked me to wash it quickly, huh, but I don't, I think it's very handsome. It’s great, seeing them sinking into my skin one by one, I feel like my body is whole, I’m whole.”

"But... this should have a great impact on work and life." Someone asked at this time.

Brother Mu thought for a while, and replied: "In terms of life, let's have sex. It often scares others. After all, I have been abstinent for several years. If it is work, it will affect it, but it is good, because With this tattoo, I have thoroughly recognized myself, and I really understand what I want, so I used my savings to open a snake shop, which has developed quite well in recent years. So generally speaking, the impact is not big."

Just after saying this, Brother Mu thought of something, and snapped his fingers: "So, being yourself is the most important thing."

Listening to what brother Mu said, everyone seemed to be encouraged, and their eyes shimmered.

But at this moment, Qin Man suddenly asked, "Then why did you come this time?"

As soon as this question was asked, everyone seemed to come back to their senses suddenly, realizing that this was a mutual aid meeting, and everyone came with questions that needed help.

Sure enough, Brother Mu's self-confidence gradually dissipated, his brows drooped, and his tone became low: "I recently met a person who disliked my tattoos, disgusting, and I began to doubt... the original decision, and the fact that I have been I firmly believe that. Is it really right to do this? We are a social species. In the final analysis, we need to integrate into society. Is such a uniqueness really a persistent self?"

Listening to Brother Mu's words, the light that had been aroused just now visibly dissipated in everyone's eyes, replaced by contemplation on this question.

Even if there is a heater, it can't warm the gradually depressed state of everyone.

But at this moment, Song Rin, who had always been silent, suddenly opened his mouth, his gaze was directed at Brother Mu, and he said firmly: "We humans are a social species, yes, we really need to integrate Society, but don’t forget that our current era is the best era in the past, and the society we live in is also the most inclusive society. The intolerance and disgust you see are just one level, and Those levels of tolerance and understanding need your persistence to achieve. For example, if you don’t insist on getting full tattoos, how can you come to the mutual aid meeting and meet people like us who can understand and tolerate?”

When Song Rin said this, he directly showed his aura in the international translation field, with a straight back, sonorous and powerful, and every strand of hair seemed to be shining.

Before Brother Mu could speak, Song Rin followed closely and said, "As for the person you said you met, believe me, he is not worthy of your doubts about what you have always believed in. Your tattoo, you will see it when you see it." It's normal to feel astonished and even afraid, but if it's disgusting or disgusting, then he doesn't love you that much, and you don't need to worry about it anymore."

In this world, there are too many things that people cannot understand, but in love, understanding is the most basic. If you can't even understand and accept, it just shows that the other party is not suitable and not worth it.

After Song Rin finished speaking, everyone was silent for a long time, and it was not until Brother Mu slapped the table that they regained their thoughts.

Brother Mu gave Song Rin a thumbs up, and saluted again: "Thank you."

Song Rin smiled encouragingly at him, and didn't say anything else, but just as he was about to retreat and lean back in the chair, Qin Man called to stop him.

"Since you said so, it's your turn next, okay?" Qin Man smiled.

As soon as Qin Man finished speaking, Song Rin noticed that a dozen pairs of eyes were shooting at him in unison. He suddenly became nervous and grabbed Gu Zhuo's hand tightly, panicked and at a loss.

Gu Zhuo reached out and patted the bottom of the table to comfort him, and said in a low voice, "It's okay, it's okay, you can just chat casually, they don't know you, everyone forgets after talking, besides, I'm here, I'm here Here, don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid.”

The comforting words rubbed in his heart with the touch, Song Rin's raised emotions were relieved, he took a breath slowly, and kept doing psychological construction for himself in his mind.

There is a way of persuading others, but when it really comes to me, I still stick together.

Song Rin knew that Gu Zhuo was helping him to take that step gradually, and he also clearly knew that his crux lies here, the unspeakable secret hidden in the shame of seeing others.

But it shouldn't be like this anymore, when Gu Zhuo came, everything was different, he was leading himself to become better, he was loving himself.

It just takes a little courage.

Song Rin turned her head and took a deep look at Gu Zhuo, just in time to meet his encouraging and supportive eyes, he moved his mouth and silently said that I am here.

The shackles that had imprisoned and suppressed Song Rin for many years collapsed and disappeared with the sound of "I am here".

Song Rin held Gu Zhuo's hand, turned her head, looked at everyone and said, "My name is Song Rin, you can call me whatever you want. I'm male, but I like to wear women's clothes. I remember it clearly. When I was two, at the school’s New Year’s Eve party, my class made up a dark fairytale play. That was the first time I wore women’s clothing, which was the Red Queen’s outfit. Since then, it’s like an awakening of talent. Out of control."

"But I am also very scared, afraid of other people's strange sights, those vicious words of attack, and the disappointment and disgust of my parents' eyes, so I have been suppressed and sneaky all the time, so that, after a long time, my psychological Something went wrong, and I started loathing myself, thinking I was abnormal, a monster."

Speaking of this, Song Rin's low tone suddenly changed, he raised his wrist, and put his hands clasped with Gu Zhuo's fingers on the table: "But luckily, I met my lover, he accepted me, and made me a baby." Cheongsam, calm my ups and downs, bring me to the mutual aid meeting, help me out, tell me that I am normal, I am not a monster. He is right, I am normal, this is who I am, There's nothing to hide and repress."

"So, just be yourself, being yourself is the most important thing, don't worry that no one will love you, believe me, there will be."

The author has something to say: The contents of the article about depression and mutual aid are all based on the plot and experience. If there are differences, please forgive me.

54. Zhenghong