[OA] No one talks about love lightly

"I once had a deep experience of what pain is because of a certain person. The pain once spread from the bottom of my heart until it filled every fingertip, making it impossible for my body to move. That pain also made me cling Clenched each molar tightly, so hard that I almost spit it out. But that has passed. Now the pain has completely disappeared, and there is no trace. I don’t know, at that time, who died with this pain , Is it my love for that person, or my heart."



"Xiao Jing, I'll take a step first!" Shinozu put his right hand on the girl's shoulder, and waved back to Atobe.

Atobe didn't speak, just quietly watched Shinobu walk out of the school gate with his arms around the girl affectionately.After the two of them turned a corner and could no longer be seen, Atobe lowered his gaze.

Atobe thinks that my uncle is really a masochist.Watching him perform this kind of intimacy over and over again, obviously I am about to suffocate every time, but I still can't learn how to rush up and beat him up, scold you bastard, let me die, I don't want to see you again in this life it's your turn!

It turns out that love really makes people weak.

At the end of the second year of high school, regardless of Shishido's dissuasion, the person who said "Ninzu Yushi, listen well, I want to date you, how dare you refuse to try!" is Atobe.

From the second year of junior high school to the second year of high school, Atobe spent three full years to determine his feelings for Ninzuzu.It's not that Atobe is slow, it's just that he subconsciously doesn't want to admit the fact that he likes Ninjazu.At first, Atobe thought it was a kind of fear, because it was a kind of fear caused by the uncertainty of the future because of the gradual understanding of Renzuzu's personality.But now, Atobe firmly believes that it is a kind of early warning, which is a warning made by Atobe's instinct for this heavy love.

Atobe betrayed his own instinct and stubbornly asked Shinobu to associate with him, and there was no way out from then on.

Is it true that as others say, the person who falls first in the relationship will suffer more?That cunning fox agreed to Atobe's request for a relationship, but he always just played with a casual attitude. Did that bastard really believe that he Atobe Keigo is someone who can play with him casually?

Atobe hates this kind of forbearance, and even more hates himself who has been treated so excessively but still refuses to let go.

At the beginning, Atobe was also confident that he could conquer Ninzu with his own charm, but as the time spent with Ninzu increased, Atobe's self-confidence became less and less.When Shinobu and Atobe are together, they are really gentle, so gentle that Atobe has the illusion that he is also loved.But after all, it was just an illusion. While Shinobu was being gentle to Atobe, he was also gentle to those girls. When Shinobu was dating Atobe, he was still dating all kinds of girls.

Atobe understands that in the eyes of that person, there is no difference between himself and others.That person always looked at everything in front of him with a playful eye. He could tell anyone he liked in a serious tone without caring, but he never meant it sincerely.

During the lunch break, Shinobu would gently hug Atobe, and gently stroke Atobe's golden-brown hair with warm hands.Atobe leaned his head on Shinobu's shoulder, his consciousness gradually blurred in the bright sunlight at noon, and then he fell into a deep sleep.

In that golden time that seemed to be still, Atobe really thought that he and Shinobu were in love.

However, only at that time would Atobe feel that way.It's like a short-lived illusion that can't be grasped, and it won't take long for it to disappear completely.

It's not that Atobe hasn't questioned Ninzu. After countless times of forbearance, Atobe once questioned Ninzu with a slight frown.Because he was used to the elegant way, the scars in Atobe's blue eyes were undetectable, and the anger in his trembling voice remained calm.

But at that time, Renzu just showed a smile that was no different from usual and said: "If Xiaojing's request is that I only look at you alone, it is impossible for me. Xiaojing has already done this. Do you understand? In this case, why do you ask?"

Atobe thought that he would never forget Ninzuzu's expression and words at that time. In the past 17 years, nothing has ever hurt Keigo Atobe like Shinobu.From that moment on, Atobe knew that there would never be the love between them that he thought could be easily obtained.

Atobe thought that if he asked Ninja to love only him, what would happen to Ninja at that time?Will you look surprised or confused, or just smile like usual, and then say a little scene, are you crazy?

Or would he hug himself and say, Xiaojing, what I'm waiting for is your words?

how is this possible.

Atobe laughed, feeling a throbbing pain in his heart.

Since getting to know Ninja Yuuji, Atobe has learned not to dream.Since associating with Ninata Yushi, Atobe has learned two words that he once thought wholeheartedly that he didn't need to know:

Injured and forbearing.

When he had gradually become numb to such pain, Atobe finally realized that he might be a masochist.Being hurt by that gentle and indifferent guy over and over again, experiencing the pain repeatedly, but still stubbornly refusing to end this kind of relationship with his own hands, so as not to continue to embarrass himself.

Who ever said to themselves that people actually need pain?

Atobe began to think back, and then remembered the person who said these words.

That boy with blond hair and a warm smile, that good friend who has known him since he was a child.It's not that Atobe is ignorant of Akutagawa Jirou's feelings for him, but he wholeheartedly believes that Jiro is his good friend, and their relationship is only limited to friends.At that time, Atobe didn't like Ninjazu yet, so Atobe felt that as long as it was something he Atobe recognized, there would be nothing wrong.

Jiro never mentioned liking to Atobe, and Atobe thought he should know what he thought of him.But Atobe also knows that it will be a very painful thing to stay with the person you like all the time but know that there will be no progress, so Atobe asked Jiro:

"Staying by my uncle's side, don't you feel pain?"

Cilang nodded and said: "It will hurt. It's just that pain is not a bad thing as Xiaojing thinks. Sometimes people need pain. As long as this pain is still there, it proves that it is important to me. Stuff is still there."

After graduating from junior high school, Jiro went to Germany, and Atobe stayed in Hyotei.

Atobe thinks, or it is really like what Jiro said, sometimes people really need pain, and need pain to make sure that their heart to love is not dead.If one day I can no longer feel this kind of pain, there are only two possibilities that can be proved.

Either the love for Ren Zuzu died, or my heart died.

How long until that day?

When Atobe returned home, his parents were waiting for him, and seemed to have something to say.

"Jingwu, after graduating from high school, we hope that you can go to Germany to go to university. Your former good friend Jiro is also there, so you should not be lonely. What do you think?" Atobe's father asked in a declarative tone calmly. Comments from the Ministry of Marking.

"That's it." Atobe said without thinking, "Anyway, it's the same everywhere, I will always be the best one!"

Atobe's father's eyes showed admiration: This kind of momentum is what we want!You are truly my son!

"Then it's settled! Your information has already been sent over, and the school is very satisfied. Now that you have agreed, the admission letter should not be long before it arrives."

Atobe nodded and walked towards his bedroom on the second floor.

It's strange that after making such an important decision just now, I don't have any doubts in my heart.Bingdi's university department is also very good, not to mention that there are so many people he knows, logically speaking, he would hesitate and struggle a little bit.But when he heard the news, Atobe immediately agreed, and even felt a burst of relief.Simply, it was as if he had been waiting for such an opportunity, hoping to leave Japan.

leave?Atobe smiled to himself.It's okay to be dishonest to others, but why lie to yourself.It was not Japan that wanted to escape, but Yushi Ninzu.It turned out that I had long wanted to leave that person's side, to leave from the tenderness, hurt and everything else that that person gave me.It's just that the deep-rooted pride and dignity don't allow Atobe to do this.

Atobe knew that this was just an opportunity for him, an opportunity to leave Yushi Ninzu in a legitimate way.Atobe would not allow himself to escape Ninzu with any other ugly gesture of frustration. Although deciding to go to Germany is also a kind of escape, at least it doesn't look so ugly.

Atobe allowed himself to back down, just this once.

As long as he leaves Yushi Ninzu, Atobe believes that he will never back down again in his life.

Atobe did not tell anyone, including Shinozu, that he was going to Germany for university.

There is no change in life, Atobe still unscrupulously exudes his innate brilliance in any place, whether it is the test results or the work of the student union, Atobe does his best as usual.Shinobu still cruelly sprinkled salt on Atobe's bruised wound from time to time, but the pain in Atobe had already begun to disappear slowly when he decided to leave.

When it was only one week before graduation, Shinozu finally remembered to ask about Atobe University's plans.Atobe looked at Shinozuzu's indifferent face, smiled contemptuously and said, "Genius, why do you suddenly remember to care about my uncle? Why did my uncle tell you?"

Renzu did not refute, nodded and said: "That's right. Xiaojing's words should be the same everywhere. You are always the best. Besides, that is Xiaojing's future, and it has nothing to do with me."

It doesn't matter.

After hearing these words, Atobe finally woke up from the only remaining self-deceiving expectations.

The person in front of him who is his lover in name doesn't want to know himself at all, not even the slightest desire to do so.Atobe asked presumptuously with a smile: "Yushi Ninzu, why do you think my uncle proposed to date you?"

Renzu tilted his head and thought for a while, then said: "What Xiaojing wants is actually a challenge, right? Because I am the only person you can't control Xiaojing, because Xiaojing will never allow anything out of his control, So you just want to challenge the unknown?"

Atobe's smile became more presumptuous, but his heart became more and more sober.He could clearly feel that the pain that had made him almost suffocate was clearly dying: "You are very confident in yourself? Are you so sure that you are someone that this uncle can't control?"

Shinozu also greeted him with a smile full of power: "Yes. Although I dare not say anything else, I have always been confident in the fact that I am unpredictable."

Atobe nodded in agreement.

No wonder this old fox, who is always aware of many things, can't find his cold burning anger and sadness. It turns out that he didn't intend to believe that what he gave him was actually love in the first place.No, he hadn't even considered the possibility.

Who pays attention to the phenomena caused by a situation that is completely impossible to exist in the subconscious mind.

Let Ninzu have such thoughts, is it because he is too good at hiding or the other party is too self-righteous?Atobu no longer wants to think about this issue.What he knew was that during the nearly one-year relationship, even in the closest distance where one could feel the temperature of the other's breath and heartbeat, the two of them had never synchronized their thinking.

The two of them never knew each other.

Atobe brushed back his wind-blown hair, and when he looked up at the broad and bright sky, he felt a little sour at the corners of his eyes.

A trace of a smile spread across Atobe's mouth, and he turned his face to Shinobuzu.The smile on Atobe's face was very gentle, without arrogance, no jokes, no contempt, no sarcasm, calm and quiet is the kind that normal people usually present.

It's just that this kind of smile shouldn't appear on the face of the proud Atobe Keigo at that moment.Shinobu looked at Atobe's soft smile and thought to himself.

Atobe smiled and said to Ninzu: "Yushi Ninzu, you are not mistaken, I really can't control you. Whether it is the second year, the third year, the first year, the second year, or the third year who spends the most time with you. From Since I met you, I have never been able to grasp you for a second. I don’t even know what you are thinking at all. I originally thought that I would be able to understand you after dating you, but after a year it seems You haven't made much progress either. You can actually make me helpless to such an extent, I admit that you are really a genius."

Renzu smiled and said, "Can I be honored to receive your affirmation?"

"But Renzu, maybe everything has not been out of your fox's calculations at this point, but you are completely wrong about the reason for the relationship." Atobe walked up to Renzu and raised his head, gently pressing on Renzu's lips Print a kiss, like a superficial touch.

Look, I really don't feel anything anymore.Even the pain of admitting defeat was gone.

I didn't expect the pain in my heart to die so soon.

I thought I'd have to wait longer.

The smile on the face of Atobe, who had pulled away the distance again, resumed his usual domineering: "But this issue is not important anymore."

Very soft lips, unlike a woman's sweet taste, Atobe's lips have a refreshing taste.Shinobu calmly appraised Atobe's unsolicited kiss in his heart.

To be honest, it's superb.

"It's time to say goodbye, I am no longer interested in entangled with you anymore." Atobe turned and walked forward after finishing speaking.

Shinobu behind him looked at Atobe's back with great interest and said, "Based on the current situation, could it be that I was dumped?"

Atobe's laughter came over, and he tapped Ninzuzu's eardrums one after another: "You can't say that. We never started, so there is no such thing as who dumped whom."

When Atobe got into his car, Atobe looked back at Shinobu through the glass, and Shinobu still had a smile on his face.Atobe smiled in the direction of Shinobu, then opened his mouth and made a mouth shape.

Obviously "さよなら".Bear enough to see clearly.Not "see you tomorrow", but "さよなら".

Renzu thought to himself that he really didn't expect that Keigo Atobe, who never took others seriously, actually proposed to date because he likes him.But even if he knows now, Renzu feels that his mood will not change much.What else can you do when others have already said "goodbye"?What's more, Shinozu doesn't feel that Atobe is someone he wants to stalk at this time.

Well, even if I really thought wrong, Yuji Ninzu and Keigo Atobe are over.Regardless of the cause, it's over now.

After arriving home, Atobe immediately booked a flight to Germany that night.

From then on, Atobe disappeared from the life of Shinobu, and completely disappeared from everyone in the ice emperor.They didn't even attend the graduation ceremony a week later, which completely disillusioned many girls who dreamed of getting the button of the first beauty of the ice emperor.

Shinobu asked Shishido intentionally or unintentionally, and the answer he got was that Atobe had gone abroad to go to university.It's not very clear where it is. It seems that everything is handled by the family according to Atobe's instructions.Shishido looked at Shinozu with a surprised face and said, "Why don't you know? Isn't Atobe dating you? It stands to reason that he should tell you if he wants to go abroad without telling anyone!"

Shinozu smiled and said: "We broke up. When we broke up, he said 'さよなら' to me. At that time, I thought he meant something between us, and I didn't even think about his going abroad. "

"It's not easy for Atobe. You don't need to think about it. You know that his family wants to send him out. Just because you want to inherit the family, you have to let go of the relationship that lasted for five years. When he says goodbye to you, he should It's very painful." Shishido patted Shinobu on the shoulder, "To be honest, when Atobe came to see me, I really didn't expect him to like you since the second year of junior high school."

"Why did the Atobu seek you?"

"Ask me whether I should confess my love to you. You know that Atobe, he has always been aloof and full of confidence. I never thought that he would have that uncertain expression and tone. I persuaded him at the time, We all think that you are impossible to be serious about a certain person, but he finally told you." Shishido looked at Ninzuzu's expression and said, "Don't be sad now that Atobe has left──though to be honest, I I think you are not that serious about this relationship."

"So you knew Atobe liked me a long time ago? Then why didn't you mention it to me?"

"Why do I mention it as an outsider? Besides, it doesn't mean that if I mention you, you will change your attitude towards everything. I have seen you with other girls from time to time this year. I didn't even think about it. Eat less hardships. But anyway, I stayed with the person I like for a year, and I think it might not be a good choice to let go now."

"Why?" Shinozu looked at Shishido's expression and said, "You despise me".

Shido cast a blank look at Shinozu unceremoniously: "You guy, back then in our tennis club we privately commented that you were the most suitable person to be a lover and the least suitable person to be a lover! The most suitable person is because you are gentle enough, and the least suitable person It’s because you will never be serious! Atobe is also true, but I chose someone like you. But it’s good to say goodbye to you like this, so Atobe won’t have to feel sad because of your idiot words and deeds.”

"You know he's sad again?"

"Of course it's sad! No one won't be sad when they see the person they like flirting with others! Just one year with you is enough for Atobe to recognize who you are!"

Ninja finally fell silent.

At first, Atobe's departure did not have the slightest impact on Shinozu's life.Shinozu still lives his playboy life, and the girls around him are still changing.

After Atobe left for two months, Shinozu suddenly felt uncomfortable with the overly sweet perfume on the girl walking beside her.

Atobe left for half a year, and began to rummage through boxes and cabinets to find photos of Atobe, and finally found a group photo of the junior high school tennis club at the bottom of the cabinet.Atobe in the photo is still a little immature, but the gorgeous narcissism has long been a thing in the bones.The flamboyant expression on his face made him more radiant than anyone else in the photo.

Atobe left for a year, and Renzu found himself thinking about every little habit of that person that made people feel both cute and hateful.For example, when he received a birthday gift from a friend, he was obviously very happy, but he insisted on saying, "I don't bother with such poor things." For example, when a member was injured, he called his personal The doctor said afterwards, "Anyway, you are only at this level, and you really can't compare with this uncle."

Atobe was away for two years, and Shinozu realized that Atobe was the most beautiful of all the people he had ever dated.From the beautiful gorgeous face to the golden ratio body to the absolutely perfect legs, no one can match it.Shinobu recalled those noons in the third year of high school. In the student union room, when Atobe rested his head on his shoulder to take a nap, his gleaming hair in the sun spread light on every edge, his face against the light was calm, and the air around him gradually changed. Take a little bit of the light rose fragrance on Kamibu's body.

His soft blond hair was blown by the wind, his blue eyes reflected the whole world, the tear mole at the corner of his eye flashed unexpected charm, the corners of his raised lips were full of aloofness and reserve that matched the elegance of his whole body, he was low The voice never spoke love easily.

Ren Zu finally found out dejectedly that when the person who used to be by her side left far away, she began to fall in love with him.Originally, Ren Zuo could have a lot of time to discover his cuteness and beauty little by little, but his casualness made him ruin this opportunity with his own hands.

This is the defeat of Shinobu.

When Atobe knew that Shinobu regarded his association with him as a contest, he admitted his defeat.

When Atobe, who has never said no to defeat, admitted his defeat and chose to quit the game in Ninzuzu's eyes in the most appropriate way, Ninzuzu admitted his defeat.

Keigo Atobe, he will not allow his true feelings to be treated as a game by others, he has never been a person who can be treated with the casual perspective of a game.

He has never been a person who can hurt at will.

I realized what I did wrong.

But even if you understand it, how can you redeem it?How can it be redeemed?From birth, Atobe was destined to be a person who should be loved by everyone. There should not be any harm in his life. No one in this world has the right to hurt him.Atobe handed over this right to one and only one person, endured the ignorance of the reason, and went on to implement it desperately and happily.

Now that Atobe has taken back his rights, Shinozu feels overwhelmed.

One morning after the end of four years of university, Shinobu was still asleep when he was suddenly awakened by the ringtone of his mobile phone.Ninzuzu stretched out his hand to grab his cell phone in a daze, and said "Hello".

"Oh, genius, are you still sleeping?" A familiar gorgeous voice and mocking tone came from Renzuzu's ear.

Ren Zuzu's still-awake mind digested slowly, and murmured: "It's over... I'm sleepy... I actually heard Xiaojing's voice..."

"If you don't wake me up again, you will really fall asleep! Believe it or not, I'll hang up right away?!" Atobe roared angrily from over there.Ninjutsu instantly revived: "Trace trace trace trace trace department?!?!"

"Who else is there besides me?"

Shinobuzu felt that he could see the disapproving smile on Atobe's face when he said this.The hand holding the phone involuntarily began to exert force: "Are you back?"

"Just come back to take a look during the holiday! I will go back as soon as the holiday is over. Tonight at nine o'clock at my uncle's house, the middle school reunion! But the members are only Shishido's group! You can come if you want."

"Since Xiaojing has already notified me by himself, I will definitely go! Even if it's just to visit you!"

There was silence on the other side for a while, and Atobe sneered: "Why haven't you made any progress after four years? My uncle thought you would become more or less stable, but in the end, you still said some frivolous things casually."

Renzu smiled tentatively: "That's because it's facing you, my dear Xiaojing beauty. But even if I am such a frivolous guy, you still like me."

"That's right, I liked it before! Thinking about it now, I feel that my eyesight problem at that time was serious! The people who love this uncle can go around Tokyo in a line, but this uncle just went against me and fell in love with him." You don’t love yourself! Besides, you don’t have any good points at all except your face is a little better and you have something in your head! You said that if my uncle didn’t have a bad eye then, how could he have taken a fancy to you?”

"It's not that Xiaojing's vision is bad, it's just that everyone loves me."

"Whatever you want to say. Anyway, my uncle has notified you, remember to come over tonight!" After saying this, Atobe hung up the phone.

When Atobe appeared in front of Ninzuzu again at night, he seemed to be more radiant than in high school.

He stood on the stairs, raised his head slightly, and looked down with hopeless pride.The light in the phoenix eyes protruding from the corners of the eyes is constantly changing, exuding a deadly toxin that makes people addicted.The line from chin to collarbone is round and elegant.He rested his white hand lightly on the wooden handrail of the stairs, and walked down step by step.Every movement has a well-calculated, just-right magnificence.

Contempt for everything.

Why not be proud of everything?He has this qualification and right.

At this moment, the world reflected in his pupils exists for him.

After four years of seeing each other, Keigo Atobe's light became stronger and stronger.

Shinobu watched intently as the beauty who used to be by his side walked down the stairs step by step.

Is the Atobe Keigo so coquettish in my impression?Does Keigo Atobe in my impression carry such a suffocating, sweet and alluring toxin?Did he not realize it at the time, or did he change during the days when he left? ... who made him change?

Just as Ren Zuo was thinking about some problems chaotically in his genius brain, Her Lady Queen cast a glance over without hesitation.Ninja found that he couldn't interpret any information in Atobe's line of sight, but the indifferent and provocative eyes still imprisoned Ninzu's line of sight and could not be diverted.

When Ninja Atobe's lips rose slightly, the Ninja Yushi who was once known as "Kansai Wolf" and "Ice Emperor Old Fox", who had seen countless people, was completely sunk.

Is there anyone who can stand in front of Keigo Atobe without being tempted at all?

Maybe there is.But that person is by no means patient.

Shinobuzu took a deep breath, put on a skillful smile, and walked towards Atobe.