Star Hunting Guide

"Do I look like an idiot? Do I look insane? Do I look like a stupid B? I was a squadron leader for a week in elementary school. Don't I know two bars?"

Russell rarely gets angry, but every time he gets angry, it makes me very sad, especially when he grabbed my collar and made his hands full of strangle marks, he must be in pain, right?

"I said I came for contraception, but you insisted that you come, will you? Are you literate and can you read the instructions? Do you know how to take the contraceptive pill? Ha, that's it. Congratulations, Your Majesty. Dad, it’s still sextuplets, and at the full moon, you can receive two sacks of money! Do you think we are four or six or three or seven?”

"All, all for you." I was a little uncertain whether he was telling the truth or scolding me, but past experience told me that I had to say something at such a time, otherwise he would think that I didn't love him and was perfunctory. .

"Go to hell!" He yelled hysterically, and then pushed me hard. When I was hesitating whether to pretend to be stressed or to stand firm, he had already covered his mouth and ran to the toilet. .

Pregnancy is really hard work, but fortunately he will vomit after a few words, so I have time to cool down my skills. Comforting a pregnant woman with hormone imbalance is a skill, and the blood tank will be empty quickly.

Grandpa Ollie once told me that having a child is a very difficult thing. For example, his father, according to incomplete statistics, had XXOO with his destined partner more than 600 times before he got a fertilized egg.And himself, who gave birth to my father, Evans, after 120 years of marriage to his destined partner.

As for me, let alone, my father died of illness shortly after giving birth to me, so I always thought that I would spend my whole life making a child like all the descendants of the Bai family, and then after the death of my destined partner or stuff myself Enter the interactive network, or drive a spaceship to set sail for a long voyage.

But life has given me too many surprises. I never expected that my son would have assembled a football team in four years of marriage, and it was a luxurious lineup with substitutes—a total of 12!

"Do you want some water?" I poured a glass of water and handed it to him from a distance. Russell was still squatting next to the toilet and retching, his thin body convulsing from time to time, which made me feel very distressed.

He drank the water in one breath, then threw the cup to me, then stood up, and started a new round of crusade against me: "Honestly, did you do it on purpose? You didn't take birth control pills at all, did you? Look Keep my eyes on Sauter! I know what you and Atoto are planning, and you have long wanted to make up a football team, haven't you!?"

"No no no no!" This kind of scapegoat must never be blamed, he will definitely divorce me when he jokes, "I ate it for real, I ate a grain according to the instructions, and the time was right, I swear! "I swear I actually ate it, I ate it all, and while I love the kid and the football team, I prefer him to be happy, and I'm sure he'll want a football team someday too Yes, it's only a matter of time before men like soccer teams.

"Then why am I still pregnant?!" He looked at me fiercely, and the test stick in his hand was almost stuffed into my nostril, "Look, there are two red lines, two! There are strengthening stars beside it, eight arrows Eight stars, Sauter, it's more real than diamonds!"

"Everything has accidents." I dug out the leftover contraceptive pill from the sink drawer last time, and showed him the instructions, "Hey, it's also written in the instructions that there is a 0.01% chance of contraceptive failure." Isn't it? How can you blame me? You don't know that we have been lucky since we got married. "

He stared at me with tongue-tied eyes, his snowy white face gradually flushed red, then he threw the test stick down on my feet, turned his head and walked away.

"Russell, Russell..." I quickly followed up to support him. After vomiting, he usually fainted for a while, but he fell down within two steps, but fortunately, I caught him.

"Aren't they the sextuplets? It's only been ten months, and I swear I'll take more time off this time and come back to accompany you." His limp little body slipped straight down, and I hugged him horizontally When he got up, he was still wearing a nightgown, because he didn't even wear underwear for the urine pregnancy test early in the morning, and his little butt was cold.

"Your sister, sextuplets are 'no,'. You can search the entire galaxy to see who the hell has given birth to sextuplets! There are no lightning beasts! There are only five firewings at most!" He was in my arms Reluctantly twisting my neckline and going crazy, I watched the cotton thread on the button fall off, and the small wooden button fell off with a "collapse". I was overjoyed and thought that I had found a savior, so I put him on the bed and immediately found a sewing box.

"Why don't we have an abortion? Panther and Beach are only three years old, and the four younger ones are less than two years old. I really can't accept having another litter so soon. Sows are more moral than me." He bitterly He muttered on his face, but his body had already started to sew buttons with needles and threads reflexively, with the appearance of a standard wife.God knows how much I like him like this. He is much cuter than when he was training people on the mine star, chasing stars on the set, and double-buttoning in the living room. From his eyes to his movements, he is soft. Sure enough, the man doing handwork is the sexiest... …

"Abortion?" I suddenly realized what he was saying, "You mean abortion? That's not allowed. The reproduction of the bat rainbow dragon family is protected by the constitution. Unless it is an irreversible deformity, normal eggs must not be aborted!" This is a matter of principle. I have killed many people on the battlefield, but not including my own fertilized eggs.

He stopped, stared at me with dead fish eyes, then raised the steel needle to poke and poke...

Forget it, let him poke it, it doesn’t hurt, and he will feel sorry for me later, I open my heart to poke him, stretching my hand down to help warm his buttocks, the snow season has just passed, and the temperature setting in the bedroom is not high, he is so radiant Those who run around with their buttocks are easy to catch cold.

"Okay, it's still early, you can sleep for a while." I waited for him to poke enough before confiscating his steel needles, covering both of us with a big quilt, holding his hand and playing with his fingers, I found He would subconsciously count when I snapped off his fingers, and soon fell asleep counting himself.

This time he didn't fall asleep as fast as he expected, staring at the ceiling with his big eyes, there was a rare hint of connotation in his usually blank eyes, the corners of his mouth flicked to the left and to the right for a while, As if talking to himself silently.

"What are you thinking?" Did he also have some deep thinking?I'm curious.

He frowned and blew a strand of hair sticking to his lips. He didn't answer me, and continued to mutter something. I became more and more curious, and turned over and pressed him gently: "What are you struggling with? What are you talking about?" Listen, I will help you."

He turned his head to look at me and grinned: "If you are pregnant, you can take maternity leave, right?"

"What?" Looking at his weird smile, I suddenly had a bad premonition, a cold electric current rushed up from my spine, he raised his hand to touch my head, and suddenly said softly: "Sote, you love me ?"

"Why?" I think I have guessed what he wants to do.

"Hey, you are also a shape-shifter, you can get pregnant too, right? Can someone take out the eggs in my stomach and help me conceive?" Sure enough, I still know him.

"Don't think so much about what you have and what you don't have." I patted his head lovingly, "Sleep my dear, throw away all the incoherent thoughts in your mind, and you won't mention it when you wake up. Such a stupid question."

He immediately put away his gentle expression miserly, and continued to accuse me of being ruthless, cruel, and unreasonable with his fierce eyes.

But I know he'll figure it out anyway because he loves me and our fertilized egg.

When I woke up again, it was already noon, and Russell's complexion was still not good. Like the last few pregnancies, he was listless and sick. When the dental cleaner was stuffed into his mouth, he vomited again. Later, I had to lie on the bed and let me wipe his face and change his clothes.

"What about the name Luo Xiaoan?" He said suddenly when I was putting on socks for him.

"Ah?" I couldn't react, he didn't figure it out so quickly, did he?

"One is called Luo Xiaoan, the other is called Luo Xiaoyi, shit, no, the last one has to be changed, doesn't it fit my character setting of a lower rib." After he vomited too much, his vitality came back, a carp stood up stiffly, and the sock shook me At one end, "Call it Luo Xiaoquan, safety is the first priority."

Although I really don't like to name the male protagonist like a housekeeper, but... let him be happy, besides, children have the right to change their names at the coming-of-age ceremony, and it will be left to them to change their own names, which can increase their Sense of accomplishment - look, I am more educated than my dad!

"Good name." As long as he happily accepts the reality of pregnancy, I'll be very happy, and immediately applauded, "It's easy to remember and auspicious, much better than what Father Evans said."

"Hey hey hey, you're smart!" Russell took all my flattery photos, gently took off the socks on my head and started to put them on my feet, "Happy, happy, safe, safe, how nice, listen It sounds like an idiom, and I will bring it home to show to my mother during the Chinese New Year. Wow, it looks like the Four King Kongs, and it looks so cool.” It seems that he has completely accepted the reality, and he has started to let his horse gallop and YY the future is good It's time to marry a wife who is offline, oh no, a wife with jumping thinking, that's great!

We decided to announce this good news to everyone at lunch time. Recently, the children have started to learn etiquette, and the atmosphere at the dinner table has become much calmer. No one threw forks or knives anymore, although no one punched me with a bottle in their mouth It's a little lonely, but royal protocol represents royal majesty, and soon they will be out to participate in social activities, and in the future they will join the Scouts, and all these sacrifices are necessary.

"Everyone, my father and I have a good news to announce." Before starting, I said happily, the six children all looked at me with bright eyes, I saw meat elbows in Panser's eyes, flying chess in Beachy's eyes, In the eyes of Bannon, he saw a beautiful boy, in the eyes of Meche, he saw the spaceship parts, in the eyes of Luo Xiaohuan, he saw Barbie, and in the eyes of Luo Xiaole, he saw gold coins.

Oh well, they are honest good boys.

"Our family is going to add a new member, guess who it is?" I asked persuasively.

"Aunt Huang is coming?" Panther said happily, "Has she finally decided to come to our galaxy to chase after Grandpa?"

"Grandpa doesn't like Aunt Huang! He likes the accountant at the Ejita branch! That black unicorn!" Beachy immediately retorted to his brother.

"You like it, don't you like the candy he bought for you?" Father Evans looked a little embarrassed, and he refuted Beachy with gritted teeth.I really didn't know that he had such a bad relationship, but it's not easy to ask about the elders' affairs, so I automatically ignored the children's thoughtless answers.

"You guys are going to have a new little brother." Russell kindly announced the answer in advance, which is exactly what I want, and who knows what else they can come up with after guessing.

"Yes, Dad is pregnant, and six babies will come to our home in ten months." I announced happily, and at the same time raised the glass in my hand, "Let's bless the babies , you will all be brothers."

"Great!" Luo Xiaole's eyes sparkled with excitement. As a child, I understand his feelings very well. In fact, when I was young, I often imagined Caton as my younger brother and called him my brother, although he didn't Would love to, but a dozen would be enough.

"I want a younger sister." Panser looked at Russell hopefully, "Dad, will you have a younger sister? A rotten girl like my eldest cousin, she said she would write me a biography of danmei when I was old."

"Miehaha, don't you already have a younger sister?" Beach laughed and pointed at Luo Xiaohuan. He was still wearing a small skirt and braided horns today. Although he still had a reluctant expression on his face, he was obviously used to it. .

In fact, this is not good. The fake girl is a non-mainstream thing. I should ask Russell to change it back for him in the future. Besides, not everyone is suitable for long hair. It is enough to have a beautiful man with long hair in the family.

"I want the real sister." Panther said seriously, "No fake mothers and fakes!"

"Wow!" Luo Xiaohuan was despised, and immediately burst into tears, "Brother, you guys hate it the most... It's not the one who likes to wear skirts... Dad blames you, I won't talk to you anymore Beep, beep..."

"No sister, whoever bullies Luo Xiaohuan in the future, I can become a transsexual!" At the critical moment, Russell was the most powerful, and the wine glass was placed on the table, exuding a domineering aura, and Panser's expression froze on his face , glanced down between his legs, and then put his legs together.

It's wrong to scare children with such things, but... I looked at Russell's face and decided not to remind him of this.

"I'll do it next time." After dinner, I accompanied Russell for a walk in the garden. He had completely calmed down and looked very rational. "Contraception is a technical job, you can't do it."

"Yeah, I was afraid of hurting your body at the beginning. After all, taking contraceptive pills hurts your body." After the initial joy, I also feel sorry for him when I think of the suffering he has to suffer every time I get pregnant. "In the future I listen to you."

"You said it, remember it."

"Remember, you can record it with a repeater and play it to me every day."

In fact, I don’t have too much ambition in childbearing. It’s good to have a football team. It’s not necessary to make up enough lineups for the battle. If it’s not enough, I have grandchildren. Qi is also a very popular type. Although he often suffers from headaches, it is said that sickly handsome men are also cute...