I have known love for many years

When Fei Lian received a call from Fei's mother early in the morning, he had already made a decision in his heart: he would not repeat the cowardice and helplessness of his youth.Although he hasn't figured out how to face his mother and Bai Xuecheng's family, this time he plans to face it with Bai Xuecheng instead of pushing Bai Xuecheng away on his own initiative.

The car drove steadily on the road, and soon got on the elevated road. The music on the radio just happened to play "Youth and Promise", and the male singer sang slowly with a somewhat helpless voice: "If I am young and capable, and I don't feel inferior, what do I know?" It is precious, those beautiful dreams, I will be ashamed in my life for not giving them to you..."

It was rare for Bai Xuecheng to lean against the car window in silence. For a while, the car was so quiet that only the heart-piercing melody sounded, and the rhythm stepped on the hearts of the two of them little by little. They almost recalled many past events at the same time.

"I also thought together, there is a place to sleep and eat."

——Have you interviewed?I'll go, then we will work in the same department!

--What?go separately?Why?

"But how can I stay upside down day and night and can't even make up the first payment."

——Didn’t you agree to go to Sanya?When did you agree to go to team building with them?what about me?

——Fei Lian, going out for a meal on your birthday is not difficult, is it?No one else would doubt it.

"The wall board was smashed by me, and it hasn't been repaired yet."

——What happened to my house?From school to now, we have not been separated by graduation. Is this not serious enough? !

——Okay, it’s alright to meet my friends instead of my parents, right? ...What do you mean I don't understand?Fei Lian?Do you fucking just want to have fun? !

"So it hurts me, I didn't understand at that time."

——I used to sneak around at school, but now we live together and still sneak around, Fei Lian, I really don’t know what we are doing.

——I am dating you, not being your lover.You are not tired, I am tired.

——I love you, I want to be with you, is it so difficult to let others know?Who am I in the way?I care about you, is it something outrageous?Am I breaking the law?

"If I was young and promising, and knew how to advance and retreat, I wouldn't let you suffer for me."

--separate?You have a good fucking idea.

Bai Xuecheng took a deep breath and turned off the volume of the radio.

He himself said, "Think beautifully", but he ran away in embarrassment without looking back.It's hard to say what he was afraid of, maybe he was afraid that Fei Lian would say to him face to face: I don't like you anymore.

If he heard this in person, he would probably go crazy.

The car got off the highway smoothly, Fei Lian didn't say a word from the beginning to the end, Bai Xuecheng woke up from the vortex of memories, and panicked for a while.

I was careless, I clearly said that I would not advance things, why didn't I hold back?

Now is not the time, mentioning now...maybe there will be another quarrel.What would Felian say?Say "you don't understand this circle"?Or do you say "Everyone is an adult, don't make things difficult for each other"?

He could ignore some things temporarily and figure them out later, but he couldn't stand Fei Lian bringing this self-deception to the surface again.

They will fight... what to do?Bai Xuecheng clenched his fists, he didn't want to quarrel, but he couldn't agree to Fei Lian's request of "underground love", he couldn't pretend to be ordinary friends or old classmates in front of outsiders.He also couldn't accept watching Fei Lian go on a blind date as if nothing had happened, and pretend to be friends with other people, so as to distance himself from himself and avoid suspicion.

Even if Fei Lian told himself that those were all fake, it was a play on the spot.

Impossible, absolutely impossible.

Bai Xuecheng raised his heart, how long has he been dreaming?Are you about to wake up?He has only been greedy for the body temperature that he never forgets once, is he going to lose it like this?

Chen Xin was right, the reunion should not be brought up casually, and he suddenly understood Jiang Fan's helpless words: "You haven't confirmed this with him, so you proposed to reunite with him?"

I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid, Bai Xuecheng broke out in a cold sweat.He wasn't sure if the two of them quarreled again because of this old matter and broke up again, would he directly get rough on Fei Lian.

Bai Xuecheng moved his throat, his brain began to throb and hurt, and his whole body was almost numb.

Fei Lian didn't drive the car back to the studio, but drove to a very quiet themed restaurant.

The end of the new year is approaching, and there are people gathering everywhere. It is not easy to reserve a seat in the restaurant. The owner of this themed restaurant is an old acquaintance with Fei Lian. When he got the news from Fei Lian, he made a special trip to empty the innermost couple's box. There is not much space. , and no one will bother you, just right.

Bai Xuecheng almost stiffly followed Fei Lian out of the car and entered the shop, not even paying attention to the stunned expression of the shop owner when he saw Bai Xuecheng.

Fei Lian didn't go into details with the boss, but hurriedly ordered the food and said "old rules", the boss was too busy going outside to socialize with other people and couldn't say much, so he looked at Fei Lian worriedly and left.

The air conditioner had already been turned on in the box, and the temperature was right. Fei Lian took off his coat and saw that Bai Xuecheng was still in a daze, so he went up to help him take off his coat.

"The food in this store is delicious and suits your taste. In the past..." Fei Lian smiled, "I thought about bringing you here many times, but I didn't have the guts."

Bai Xuecheng said "Ah?", still very dull.

Fei Lian didn't know what was wrong with Bai Xuecheng, so he sat down on his shoulder, poured him some tea, and brought some fruits and melon seeds.

"I'm the boss of this house, so I haven't mentioned it to you." Fei Lian pulled up a chair, sat opposite Bai Xuecheng, and said, "I like men, except I mentioned it to my mother when I was young. I haven’t mentioned it to anyone else. When I was young, their family had always opened a restaurant, and he didn’t know about me. After graduating to work, he borrowed money from his family and came to Nancheng to open this theme restaurant here. , business is not bad, I wanted to bring you here several times, but I was afraid that he would ask more questions, and I was afraid that you would reveal your secrets..."

Bai Xuecheng twitched the corners of his mouth, showing an expression that he didn't know whether it was a smile or something.

Fei Lian rubbed his hands nervously, and said: "We broke up later, I... really felt uncomfortable, I've been to gay clubs a few times, and I don't want to get involved with the people there, I'm afraid I'll be drunk and confused... go Ordinary bars, and I’m afraid I’ll cause some trouble if I’m drunk.”

Fei Lian smiled wryly: "Actually, I was afraid that I would say everything out when I was drunk, so that people would hear me."

Bai Xuecheng looked at Fei Lian, and suddenly felt very sore in his heart.

Fei Lian is such a person. He is always polite and low-key on weekdays. He has an indelible inferiority complex hidden in his bones. Even if he is suffering to death, he dare not confide in the slightest, even when he is drunk. Damn, Bai Xuecheng couldn't breathe just thinking about it.

"I couldn't bear it later, it was really uncomfortable." Fei Lian said lightly, "I came here, got very drunk, and really said everything."

Fei Lian was still a little embarrassed: "Scared me to death when I was young, I never thought that I would be for a man... He has never seen me like that, he may have been too embarrassed at the time. Among the people I know, there is only Only he and Chen Xin know about this."

Bai Xuecheng's heart ached so badly that he couldn't help but say, "No, don't mention this."

Fei Lian glanced at him, said "Oh" and stopped mentioning it.

Bai Xuecheng couldn't hold back again, and said angrily: "You can find Chen Xin! Can you tell him no? He is such a caring person, and he can still take care of you..."

Fei Lian looked at Bai Xuecheng complicatedly: "That's your brother, I... I only stayed in your dormitory occasionally, and they invited me together for your sake. I don't fit in, I know."

Bai Xuecheng frowned.

Fei Lian said: "Forget it while we're still together, we're all separated... I don't have the face to see him."

From Fei Lian's point of view, the people in Bai Xuecheng's dormitory were almost equal to the other's natal family, especially Chen Xin, who had such a good relationship with Bai Xuecheng and had never lost contact with him. How could he dare to join him?Firstly, he was afraid of hearing news about Bai Xuecheng, and secondly, he was also worried about being beaten up by Chen Xin.

After Fei Lian said this, he felt that the topic was getting too far, he waved his hands and drank a sip of tea and said, "Actually, I have been looking for an opportunity to clarify the past, but... I always feel that the timing is wrong, and I feel that you don't want to mention the past. "

Bai Xuecheng raised his heart slightly: Here we come...

Fei Lian was silent for a while, during which time the waiter served cold dishes and some hot dishes.

Fei Lian raised his hand and made a gesture of invitation: "Talk while eating, are you hungry?"

Where is Bai Xuecheng in the mood to eat?But he still held up the chopsticks numbly, let out an oh, and swallowed it expressionlessly almost like chewing wax.

Fei Lian looked at his expression, feeling a little uneasy: "Isn't it delicious?"

Bai Xuecheng: "..."

Bai Xuecheng couldn't bear it anymore, thinking that the knife will always come to life or death, he gritted his teeth and said, "I'll just ask you! What happened when you went on a date with the little girl from the venture capital?"

Fei Lian: "..."

Fei Lian asked with a question mark: "Huh?"