mountains and deep sea

Lu Quansheng left in the middle of the night. A few days before he left, he quarreled with that old Zhao in the alley. Zhao shouted, "You are crazy, you don't even know your own grandson?! What use are you?!"

Lu Quansheng's back suddenly bowed at that sound. No one had said such words, maybe he had, but he had never heard of them, so the words were as heavy as a hammer, and they hit him hard on the head. With a shattering sound, he woke up a little bit.He turned around and looked at Lu Yuzhi who was rushing over.

Lu Yuzhi only felt that his eyes were hot, and thought in a trance that he seemed to see tears, and he was about to pass, but Lu Quansheng had pushed aside the crowd by himself and walked towards him.

"Are you okay?" Lu Yuzhi strode up to him, looked at him carefully from head to toe, and felt a little relieved.

But Lu Quansheng's eyes were still sad and hurt, he raised his hand to hold Lu Yuzhi's, but he didn't know why he put it down halfway.

Lu Yuzhi thought he didn't remember him again.

But Lu Quansheng brushed shoulders with him, "It's okay, let's go back, Yu Zhi."

Lu Yuzhi's eyes trembled, but he followed without asking any questions.

After that day, Lu Quansheng suddenly fell ill, his body weakened a lot, and he couldn't get out of bed for a few days, but his mental state improved a lot, and he could always remember Lu Yuzhi.

When he was on the sickbed, Lu Yuzhi sat beside him and looked at him, and he also squinted at Lu Yuzhi, just watching, holding Lu Yuzhi's with his calloused hand, and rubbed his jaw.

Lu Yuzhi called Lu Quansheng quietly, "Grandpa..."

Lu Quansheng's eyes lit up a kilometer away from this sound, and it took him a long time to say a word, asking a question he had asked for so many years, "Do you hate your mother and me?"

Seemingly unaware of Lu Quansheng's question, Lu Yuzhi's pupils widened slightly, a premonition sprouted in his heart, and he shook his head after a while.

Lu Quansheng smiled bitterly, "You should hate it."

He only met Lu Yuzhi when he was four years old. Lu Jiaruan went out for a long time, and when he came back, there was another one behind him. The child's eyes were beautiful and watery, just like Ruan Ruan when he was a child.Seeing that he felt strange, the child hid behind Lu Jiaruan and wanted to grab Lu Jiaruan's clothes, but Lu Jiaruan was unwilling, so he stepped into the west wing, threw the child outside the door and looked at Lu Quansheng face to face, the voice came from the room It came out, "My child, Gu Yunping's illegitimate son."

Lu Quansheng's eyes widened for a moment, and his temper suddenly came up. He went to knock on Lu Jiaruan's door and yelled at you for being crazy?Gu Yunping is married, and you gave him a baby! !

The door slammed open from the inside, Lu Jiaruan's eyes were red, "When I was just pregnant, Gu Yunping said he wanted to marry me."

Before Lu Quansheng could react, the door was closed again. Lu Quansheng's mind was full of his daughter's red eyes, and his anger disappeared suddenly, and turned into a long sigh.

He turned his head and looked at Lu Yuzhi who was standing alone in the courtyard. His eyes were also red, but the child kept holding back his tears. This place was unfamiliar to the child. Lu Jiaruan ignored him when he entered the door. Why not be afraid?

But he didn't say anything, he didn't cry, he just looked at Lu Quansheng, stiffened his neck, and held back his tears.

Lu Quansheng sighed again, and squatted down in front of Lu Yuzhi, "Call me Grandpa."

Four-year-old Lu Yuzhi sniffed, and called him immaturely and timidly, "Grandpa..."

In a blink of an eye, so many years have passed, the child of that year has grown up, but he has grown into the look that Lu Quansheng loves the most. He is taciturn, and his mood is always calm. Lu Quansheng has taken care of him for so many years, only when Lu Jiaruan said that he would let him When I went back home, I saw him lose his temper, smash things at home, and cry so sadly.

It was because I felt abandoned and homeless.

How did that happen?Lu Quansheng sometimes wondered whether the Lu family had committed crimes in the previous life, which made this family so uneasy. It was Lu Yuzhi's greatest misfortune that Lu Yuzhi was born in their family.

If he had been able to persuade Lu Jiaruan well back then, would this girl not be so paranoid, would Lu Yuzhi have a better life, would not have the current personality, and would not have to suffer so much.

At that time, he thought that he should treat Yu Zhi very well and make up for the wrong things done by those adults.

But Lu Jiaruan committed suicide, he couldn't bear it, he was crazy and lost his mind, in the end he didn't even recognize people, he would beat and scold his grandson, but he didn't treat him well.

Lu Yuzhi should hate them, should hate them.

But Lu Yuzhi kept shaking his head, held his grandfather's hand firmly, and said in the dusk, "You are the only relative I have."

Lu Quansheng almost burst into tears.

He was still afraid of being left behind, exactly the same as back then.If possible, he also wants to stay with him for a longer period of time, sober his mind, see him get married, see him have a child, and be able to call him obediently like he was back then.

But he couldn't hold it anymore, and the sudden sobriety in his later years crushed him again. Thinking of Lu Jiaruan who died, and Lu Yuzhi's remorse and heartache for how he had been treated these years, made him grow older. He was dying, and finally left his grandson's hand in the middle of the night.

Once lost, there will be no future.

There was a blizzard in Wancheng, the ancient city was submerged in severe cold, and the night was deep and silent.

Because of the weather, when Fu Wensheng returned to Wancheng, the funeral was over, and the Hutong Street was silent, except for occasional dogs barking, and Fu Wensheng's hurried steps.

In the courtyard of the Lu family, there is still a "Calling Soul Pan" hanging, and there is still the smell of unburned candles. The door is open, and one can see the house at a glance. At the mourning hall, there is a memorial tablet with Lu Quansheng's name engraved on it. After that, he sat on the ground, hugged his knees, and curled up into a ball.

Fu Wensheng's heart was about to break.

He walked in with light steps, bowed three times to the old man, and then knelt down in front of Lu Yuzhi.

However, I haven't seen him for half a month, but Lu Yuzhi has lost a lot of weight. He didn't have much flesh on his face, but now his cheeks are sunken, his eyes are bloodshot, and there is a bottomless haze.

"Yu Zhi." Fu Wensheng called him softly.

Lu Yuzhi blinked slightly, but didn't look at Fu Wensheng.He buried half of his face in the crook of his arms, looked up at the spiritual tablet on the table, his slender eyelashes cast shadows under his eyelids, making the dark circles under his eyes more and more serious.

He didn't make trouble or cry, and he didn't look like a person who lost a loved one.

Fu Wensheng saw those family members who lost their loved ones in the hospital and cried bitterly, and the crying from the floor of the intensive care unit was always lingering around.But sometimes what makes them feel sad is not the crying, but the family members who don't cry or make trouble.

There are times when grief is so thick that you cannot cry.

Fu Wensheng really wanted to comfort Lu Yuzhi, but he didn't know how to comfort him. He could only feel distressed in his eyes, "Yu Zhi, are you okay?"

It was the wind in the mourning hall that answered him.

After a long time, Lu Yuzhi spoke, his voice was hoarse, as if sand was grinding in his throat, "He quarreled with others, his mind cleared up a lot, and he always recognized me...then At that time, I thought he was recovering, and wanted to tell you the news, but he fell ill within a few days, and went to the hospital, and the doctor said that it would be good to rest..."

He turned his gaze, there was water in his eyes, and his lower eyelashes were wet, "But why, he left?"

The cold wind carried white snow into the hall, and Lu Yuzhi's hoarse voice was blown away so lightly that it fell into every corner of the mourning hall, but that question was like a knife piercing his heart, and it hurt too Fu Wensheng.

He embraced his shoulders and neck, "Besides, life, old age, sickness and death are doomed."

"No." Lu Yuzhi shook his head, there was an expression on his numb face, he couldn't tell whether he was crying or smiling, and repeated, "It's not like that."

He struggled to stand up. He didn't know how long he had been sitting, his legs went numb, and he was about to fall within a second of standing up. Fu Wensheng hurriedly supported him.

It was only when we stood next to each other that he realized that he was shaking, a slight but rapid trembling came from the cold hand that was holding him.

Lu Yuzhi grabbed his hand, stared at the tablet with scarlet eyes, tears fell down suddenly, "He didn't want me anymore, they left me. When he asked me if I hated him, I clearly He said there is no more, why doesn't he believe me? Why?"

Each of his words is light, but the words are as heavy as Mount Tai, sharp as a sharp knife, and ruthlessly gouged out his heart.

It was the same when Lu Jiaruan left. I called him and asked him if I hated him. At that time, he was still angry and silent for a long time, until Lu Jiaruan hung up the phone and did not answer. What he got again was Lu Jiaruan. Regarding the news of his death, he thought that Lu Jiaruan would not get the answer, so he left in such a haste and cruelty, and did not look back at them.

When Lu Quansheng asked Chu that question, he became afraid, afraid that Lu Quansheng would leave suddenly like this, so he said no hate, and said "you are my only relative", he hoped to keep Lu Quansheng.

But in the end, he didn't keep anything, only the sorry that Lu Quansheng held his hand and said when he closed his eyes.

But he doesn't want that sorry, what he wants is grandpa!

The candle flame was swayed by the wind, and the flag of the "Calling Soul Banner" whistled, like a person's sigh, which was long and far away, and disappeared in the ear in an instant.

Fu Wensheng felt that the person in his arms slipped, and he almost couldn't hold him, and the two of them fell to the ground together.

He lowered his head and saw something crystal falling down.

His chest felt tight, and he wanted to kiss him, but in the mourning hall, the tablet was still there, he didn't dare, and couldn't do that, so he hugged Lu Yuzhi even tighter.

"Besides, I'm here..."

Lu Yuzhi grasped his sleeves tightly, as if grabbing a life-saving straw. He heard a voice muffled in his arms, "Fu Wensheng, I have no relatives..."

Not anymore.

Fu Wensheng closed his eyes sadly, and said awkwardly, "You still have me, I will always be here."