The price of rebirth

"That's not a disease! I asked a psychiatrist." Liang Kui blurted out his rebuttal, his voice was scary.The roar made Qin Yue and Su Yan fall silent for a moment.Qin Yue stared blankly at Liang Kui, but hesitated to speak.

Liang Kui looked at Su Yan in a panic, he shouldn't have said this, and he never thought of saying it.But Qin Yue forced him out.Liang Kui felt all sorts of feelings in his heart, Su Yan's silence made him fearful and guilty.He did see a psychiatrist, it was the Chinese New Year last year, when he fled back to City A in embarrassment, thinking about Su Yan's shadow all day long, he really felt that he couldn't go on like this, as if he was sick, he liked boys , which is not normal.He beat around the bush and found a reliable psychiatrist, who was from abroad. After hearing what he said, he told him rationally that homosexuality is not a mental illness, but a disease of the heart. heart.

Su Yan ignored Liang Kui. He patted Qin Yue after being silent for a long time, and said gently: "Go ahead and say whatever you want. If you don't tell us about our relationship, who do you want to talk to? Don't be alone. I'm bored." He said and handed Qin Yue a candy, strawberry candy from nowhere.He even peeled it off and stuffed it into Qin Yue's mouth. Qin Yue couldn't refuse, so he could only hold it in his mouth. The sweet taste penetrated into his mouth, and the bitterness in his heart seemed to fade away.

Qin Yue raised his head slightly, and said in the most relaxed tone: "One of us is in the north and the other is in the south. We said we didn't break up, but in fact it's almost the same as breaking up, but we can't let it go. Some things happened, even if time allowed him It has become a thing of the past, but it is still a thorn that cannot be erased. My dad said it was a scandal in the family, and he dared not spread it. It rotted in his own house and would stink forever."

Su Yan frowned tightly.

"Actually, if moving was useful, I would have moved a long time ago. So what if we moved, things can't be treated as never happened. I'm not sad at all when Guan Wen's family moved away. Anyway, he doesn't have to worry about meeting my parents, he'll feel better I wanted him to go abroad, but he refused. He wanted to take me with him, but I refused. I can abandon my parents and go with him. After leaving, I will never have the face to come back. "

"He moved away, I'm really not sad. The world is so big, we will meet again one day."

"Then your parents..."

Qin Yue smiled wryly: "That day my dad said something I didn't know. He said that my mother was pregnant with a girl in her first child, but they beat her secretly, all for the sake of having an only son."

"..." Su Yan took a breath.

"Then he said that it would be better to raise a daughter if he had known earlier than to raise a man who is not a man or a woman who would be ashamed of others."

After Qin Yue finished speaking, he looked like a deflated ball, lying limply on the table, breathing heavily in his chest, as if he was out of breath, and couldn't get it right all of a sudden.

Liang Kui was frightened and supported him: "What's wrong with you?"

Qin Yue shook his head: "There's nothing uncomfortable, it's okay."

Liang Kui stared at him: "Stop talking, don't think about unhappy things."

"Well, there's nothing to say. Thank you Su Yan, it's good to say it. When I was at home, I thought I had become dumb. I didn't know what to say to them, and I couldn't say anything. My dad is still there I can’t forgive me when I’m angry. But I know it’s not a lie that he treated me well in the past. No matter what, it’s my dad. He can’t forgive me for the time being, but he will always improve in the future. I’ll try my best to get into the second university, and he should be happy One point. And my mother, on the surface, is fierce to me, but actually loves me very much. She bought me this new mobile phone. Before I started school, she gave me a lot of living expenses, and even installed my favorite duck neck. He also asked me to draw a sketch for her, ha ha." Qin Yue really became happy as he spoke, grinning with a smile, his eyebrows and eyes flying, and suddenly became brighter.

Su Yan hurriedly said: "I want to eat duck necks, how many bags do you have, give me one bag."

"That's not okay. I only brought three bags in total. I ate it in one meal. Cut, why didn't you ask my cousin for it? He knows you like it, so he might have brought a box."

Liang Kui knocked on him and coughed lightly: "One box is not enough, half a box is enough. I will go back with you tonight and take it with me by the way."

"You two continue to get bored, I'll go to the studio to copy still life paintings." Qin Yue stood up holding the drawing board, winking and smiling at the two of them, and ran to the studio coolly.

Going to school on the eighth day of the eighth day is not a formal start of school, and there is no late self-study at night.

As soon as school is over at [-]:[-] in the afternoon, everyone is free.

Liang Kui jumped onto the back seat of Su Yan's bicycle with two bags of food in hand, and the two returned home crookedly.

As soon as the door was closed, Liang Kui grabbed Su Yan with all his might and pressed him against the wall, then kissed him over his face.Su Yan was unprepared, frowning tightly at first, then slowly relaxed his expression, and cooperated with Liang Kui in a passionate kiss.The sound of heavy breathing permeated the quiet room. I don't know who tore off whose clothes first. The tight kisses could no longer satisfy each other's desire. Maybe it was the short separation during the Chinese New Year that made the longing pile up into a river, or maybe it was the fusion of the bodies. In the moment of closeness, the helpless heart is redeemed.

"Su Yan..." Liang Kui shouted his name in a low voice impatiently, his eyes full of desire looked straight at Su Yan's flushed face, that face was always deserted, only at this time it had a different color, Outsiders can never see, only he can see, Su Yan's closest person.

Every possession is like taking drugs, the more you taste it, the more you like it, the joy of the body and the desire for exclusive possession in the heart make people inflated and satisfied.He couldn't imagine that one day in the future, they would become Qin Yue and Guan Wen.

Su Yan opened his eyes slightly, raised his head and squinted at him, and panted, "If you are afraid, we can break up at any time." You know me, at least you don't have to worry about me entangled you. "

Liang Kui's face turned pale, he gritted his teeth, and glared at Su Yan ferociously: "When did I say such a thing? Break up as soon as you say it. You said it so simply."

Su Yan turned his head and got up: "I know what you're worried about, but don't put on a face like Qin Yue's when you have sex. Did you fucking go to bed or to the grave?"

"Su Yan! Don't go too far!"

"Qinyue is Qinyue, and we are us. I know you will worry about the day your parents find out, but if you think about those things too much, you will only become more and more worried. Do you know that I regret seeing you like that With you." Su Yan stared at him.

"What do you mean? What do you mean by regret now? What's the matter, you don't like me now? Then you told me the fart, if it weren't for you, I would never fucking like men in my life. I did this because who?"

"Because of me! I mentioned it to you first, did I force you or force you? If you don't like me, can I slap you?"

Liang Kui was so angry that he stretched out his hand to strangle Su Yan's neck and held him tightly: "Yes, if I don't like you, why would I do this. Damn it, just strangle you to death. If you strangle you to death, I will go find a woman." Fall in love, find a woman to marry and have children, a gentle and virtuous woman will help me to be filial to my parents, give birth to a son to make my parents happy, they raise me and love me, these are at least what I have to give back to them. I like you What are you doing, what's so good about liking you, you are not a woman, let alone have children, let alone be filial to my parents, seeing my parents feels guilty."

Su Yan looked up at his excited face coldly: "Before your parents don't know, you still have a chance to redeem yourself. You were just confused for a while, and you turned around in time. What should you do to find a beautiful woman? Except Qin Yue and Me, who would know that you have fucked a man before. I would not brazenly tell others that I was fucked by you, and Qin Yue is your cousin, so I certainly wouldn't say it either. So, you have nothing to be afraid of. "

"Su Yan! I x you!"

"You say X is X? I'm not that interested anymore." Su Yan got up, and sat on the edge of the bed looking for shoes. His bare back was bent into a beautiful arc, and there were sporadic kiss marks left by Liang Kui on it. .

Liang Kui's eyes burst into flames, burning with anger and desire. He grabbed Su Yan and forced him back on the bed. Gritting his teeth, he restrained Su Yan's resisting hand forcefully, opened his legs and rushed in eagerly.

Su Yan's face turned pale from the pain, his brows were twisted into a mess, and cold sweat oozes out.

He took a few breaths before he recovered his strength, and just about to stand up and scold Liang Kui angrily, he suddenly heard a few weird laughs.

"Jie Jie Jie Jie, Jie Jie, Jie Jie..."

Su Yan trembled all over, his face was red, he raised his hand and patted Liang Kui: "Get out, hurry up!"

Liang Kui didn't know why he was suddenly ashamed and angry, he was in a good mood, how could he be obedient, and toss people ruthlessly without saying a word.

Su Yan suddenly staggered and cursed: "Laugh at your sister! Perverted voyeur, what the hell are you trying to do if you don't retreat!"

"Jie jie jie jie... I saw a good show as soon as I woke up from the retreat. Really, my face was flushed with embarrassment..."

"Do you have any fucking face! You're just a lump... woo..." Su Yan glared angrily at Liang Kui who blocked his mouth, Liang Kui was angry and happy, watching Su Yan being kissed obediently, Then he let go and said, "Don't yell at me if you're not happy. Since when did I become a perverted voyeur? What's a lump, what a lump?" !"

"Fog?" Liang Kui didn't understand. He only thought that Su Yan had changed his mind, so he smirked and pecked at the corner of Su Yan's mouth: "Actually, you like things that are more intense, right? I won't be gentle with you from now on."

"I wipe..."

The two of them tossed and tossed all night, and fell into a deep sleep at dawn.

Liang Kui said before going to bed that he would skip class the next day, and it would be okay if he skipped a day.

But when he woke up in the afternoon, the room was empty, and there was no sign of Su Yan at all.

Liang Kui hurriedly texted Su Yan asking where he was.

Su Yan replied: Go to class.

Liang Kui lazily lay back on the bed, flipping through the photos saved in the phone one by one, all of them were Su Yan's photos, some from the past and some recent ones.He watched it over and over again tirelessly, wondering why he couldn't get enough of it.Last night, Mingming was really full of anger, and when he woke up, everything disappeared.

Having had enough sleep and cleared his mind, he still likes being with Su Yan.

When Su Yan came home from school in the afternoon, he pulled Qin Yue over.

Liang Kui was making soup in the kitchen, and he wasn't surprised to see the two of them back, his eyes seemed to be on Su Yan's buttocks.

Su Yan acted as if nothing had happened, he washed and cut the fruit as usual, ran in and out of the room twice, and saw nothing wrong.

Liang Kui then whispered, "You have a pretty good physique."

Su Yan sneered: "You are too weak."

"I'm still weak? Did you count how many times I did last night?"

Su Yan sprayed him: "If you have the ability, you can be a seven-time man in one night."

Liang Kui was suddenly at a loss for words, he was speechless, he was dumbfounded and frightened.

Everything is revived, spring is warm and flowers are blooming, and the school is peaceful.

Not long after the start of school, another exam came for the third year of high school.The countdown by the blackboard is getting closer and closer, and the third year of high school has entered another state inexplicably.After class, there are more boys secretly smoking.After class, they run to the toilet, where they stand in a crowd, all of them are young, tall and tall, talking and laughing loudly, puffing out smoke rings, hooking their shoulders and backs to tease beautiful school girls, being late with great fanfare, and not showing up for exercises , do not hand in homework, do not write test papers, talk back to the teacher.

The top classes in arts and sciences are still doing their job, and in some other classes, students and teachers have quarreled and even fought many times in a row.As some people said, anyway, I'm about to graduate, and I will take revenge for my injustice.I'm about to graduate, and I don't need to f*ck Mr. Bird's whining anymore, I'm about to graduate, and before I graduate, I must let out a sigh of relief.I'm about to graduate, my crush is over, even if you won't accept me, I still want you to remember me.

Su Yan saw a boy standing in front of a girl with his own eyes. With the laughter and encouragement of a group of boys, he masculinly gave the Winnie the Pooh to the girl who had a crush on him for three years.

Amidst the screams of a group of girls, the girl said with difficulty: "I'm sorry, I have someone I like."

How do boys feel when they are rejected?

Holding the rejected Winnie the Pooh, he instantly turned into an angry face. He raised his hand and threw the Winnie the Pooh violently out of the school's courtyard. The bitter secret love and hazy first love came to an end.

The number of times Su Yan was confessed increased rapidly, those girls seemed to have made an agreement, and they all rushed forward in these days, one fell down and the other stood up.

Some people were crying and some were laughing, only Su Yan, who was confessed, had the same expression on his face.

There are always some people who will remember forever and cannot fade away, but there are more people in their lives who just pass by in a hurry, and see you later, as if they are strangers.

Qin Yue participated in the joint entrance examination for art students in March, and passed the entrance examination with a high score of 232.Facts have proved that he is indeed quite talented in art. It is very difficult for people who have studied art for three years, or even those who have studied basic art since childhood, to get this score.Qin Yue was an art student in class one of the third year of high school. After passing the high score, the class teacher was overjoyed, and everyone looked at Qin Yue with admiration.Qin Yue's whole body was beaming, and he was even more motivated to make up for cultural lessons. He often hummed a song to do the questions, with a cheerful look on his face.

The school's rose flowers bloomed, red as bright as roses.

There are fewer and fewer courses in the third year of high school, and the teachers basically no longer control them.The students still have a lot of things to be busy with, such as physical examination, graduation photos, commemorative photos, arranged by the school, arranged by the students in private, there are too many to count.

On a sunny morning, after the school’s gymnastics, Teacher Ma ordered: “Su Yan, let everyone line up in the corridor to go to the auditorium on the playground. Graduation photo is the last time.” Su Yan led the team to the playground, where there were already several third-year classes .

Soon it was the turn of the three-year class. Su Yan counted the number of people, rubbed his forehead and frowned and asked, "Who didn't show up?"

Everyone looked at each other, and suddenly someone said: "I don't seem to see Qin Yue?"

Su Yan's heart skipped a beat: "What's the date today?"

"April sixteenth."

"Is it really sixteen?"

"That's right."

"Whoever saw Qin Yue, everyone should look for it." Su Yan yelled loudly, and everyone was stunned, not understanding what he was in a hurry for.Before he had time to ask more questions, Su Yan ran out of the playground, his speed was comparable to that of athletes, everyone exclaimed: "What is Su Yan doing?"

Seeing that something was wrong with Su Yan, Liang Kui ran after Su Yan desperately without asking any questions. He was very disturbed and his heart was beating wildly.

However, Su Yan almost stopped breathing. He broke out in a cold sweat, stared blankly at the front and ran desperately. There was only one thought in his mind. Today is the [-]th, April [-]th, why is it April [-]th, not April? eighteen.April [-]th, a day he will never forget, how could he remember it wrong.What was wrong was not his memory, what was wrong was that he was reborn and he was stubborn.The things he doesn't want to change are quietly changing, and the things he wants to change are still coming.

Su Yan's legs seemed to have a memory, he followed the old road, stepped on the familiar stairs, he didn't know he was tired at all, he just wanted to go faster and faster.

"Yanyan! Why are you running?"

The voice in his head asked him sternly.

Yes, why did he run, why did he have to be in such a hurry, his heartbeat almost blurted out, he shouldn't be in a hurry at all, he should calmly wait for things to happen.Didn't he say that he would stick to everything he once had, until the end of his pursuit.Why was he reborn, for the obsession in his heart, for the anger that filled his heart before he died.

But what is he doing now, he is against himself, against his own purpose.

He is betraying himself.

And can't help it.

The stairs one after another seemed endless. How long he had been running, he didn't know that he was so depressed that he was about to go into shock.

"Yanyan, that's the path he chose. He wanted to die. No one can save him."

"Yanyan, you let him die."

"Do you know what you are doing? If you save him now, what will happen in the future?"

"Yanyan? Can you hear me talking?"

"...Yanyan?"

Su Yan couldn't hear it.