night without tears

Yin Yening always thought that Cheng Fei didn't know him well. Although the two of them used to be friends, their relationship was not very deep, and there was a gap of several years between them.But Cheng Fei's words before leaving seemed to be fulfilled like a spell.

Only he will live in pain.

Before, he didn't feel so obvious.But now, the changed house, the changed identity, the changed job...the anesthesia effect of all these things is gradually diminishing.

Perhaps the only function of time is to make him gradually develop antibodies to those narcotics, but his thoughts are increasing day by day, as if he wants to lodge in his body until he is completely destroyed and rotted away.

Gradually, he began to dream of F often, but it was just a dream, not necessarily all sweetness.There are memories, some unbearable, and even some dreams are simply absurd, and when you wake up, you usually only remember a little.

"Hello, Ye? Hey, hello! You fell asleep in a strange place again, get up! Wake up, Ye!"

Suddenly opened his eyes, a warm scarf fell on his neck, Yin Yening was a little dazed, it was so cold, what happened to him?He fell asleep on a park bench.

"Really, I won't be with you for a while, why don't you know how to take care of yourself?"

This voice is very familiar, this temperature is very familiar, such doting words, he couldn't help turning his head——

"Hey, Ye! You wake me up."

The midwinter weather keeps the mind sharp.The person in front of him was wrapped in a thick scarf, with pure black hair, a gentle smile, touching the temperature of his forehead, it was already a memory that he dared not touch for a long time——

"Hey, it hurts so much, let go, hey, Ye, you...why are you crying for no reason?"

Who is crying for no reason!You don't know how happy I am to be able to hold you again, how happy I am.

I miss you, my heart hurts when I think of you, I miss you very much.But these were all choked up and unable to speak out.Great, you're finally back.I just want to hold you like this, never let go, never never let go.

"What kind of weird dream is that!" The handsome and elegant man sat beside him and listened to his narration, laughing out of breath: "How could I become a robot? And because of such absurd things It also made you cry... It's really depressing, Ye you seem to have become stupid, you won't be stupid if you go on like this."

While holding his hand anxiously, Yin Yening also thought she was amused.Yes, why did you have such a strange dream, didn't he stay by your side well?

They are college classmates, and then, I fell in love with her, and I worked hard to catch up with him. I finally lived together last year, so that I was always worried about gains and losses, and I still couldn't believe that happiness just came like this.

Yes, you should be very happy already.I am already very happy. Someone bought a steamed bun, and I wrapped up a scarf with him and enjoyed the overflowing warmth on the street in this winter. There is nothing more satisfying than this.

However, what is this faint sourness permeating his chest, this lingering sourness?

He grabbed the hands of the people around him, looked at the faintly visible blood vessels under his skin, and let out a sigh.

very nice.Such a sad dream is not real after all.

The reality is so simple and so beautiful.I love you and you love me.

"Ye, what are you in a daze for? Don't you know that being in a daze is very attractive?"

When did he become so proactive?While kissing, Yin Yening was thinking in a daze.The two bodies were slowly entangled together.

Unexpectedly, the heart ached again, as if reminding of some eternal and irreversible sin.Yin Yening suddenly felt a chill, and hugged the person in his arms tightly.

"Ye, what's wrong with you?"

What's wrong, I don't know.

Yin Ye stared at the pair of pure black pupils in front of him, obviously very happy... But why did the tears keep flowing.

"Ye...you worry me a lot. What happened?"

"I... I'm scared..." Yin Yening suddenly choked up sobbing: "Please, please don't leave me. I'm so scared, I'm afraid that all this is just a dream, I'm afraid that when I open my eyes You're gone..."

"Don't worry, don't worry. I won't leave you." The person hugging him smiled and whispered softly in his ear.

"Please," Yin Yening couldn't believe it: "Please, I was wrong, please forgive me. I miss you very much, I want to be with you. I want to be with you..."

"...Is that so?" F looked at him with a soft voice, but his eyes were so dark and bright that it made one's heart palpitate, and the corners of his mouth curved abnormally: "Then, why..."

In the arms, suddenly empty.

Before the question was finished, it was so empty without warning.Yin Yening felt dizzy as all the cells in his body were pulled and moved, and the bitterness in his chest suddenly reached an unbearable catharsis point.

He woke up suddenly, with a black roof in front of him, and he was lying on the bed with a big face, his face was wet.

Sitting up slowly, Chacha raised her head because of the movement, let out a weak whimper, and fell asleep again.

The dream is so beautiful that it almost makes the real and sad reality seem more like a dream.

If only dreams could come true.

It would be great if the story could be so simple and beautiful, ordinary encounters, mutual acquaintances, and staying together.

But everything is still just absurd nonsense, except for the sadness and regret, there is nothing left in the arms.

Yin Yening finally couldn't bear it anymore, clutching the quilt and sobbing.

◇

It was half a year later that he finally had the courage to set foot on his island again.After half a year of ignorance, Yin Yening felt like a walking dead.

There was no one to take care of it for nearly two years, and the whole island was covered with weeds and deserted. Seabirds flew by, singing bleakly, and there was a ghostly atmosphere around.The waves beat against the shore, rustling.The shells were washed ashore and then washed down. The bottle that F had picked up was thrown back into the sea, and it is unknown where it has been caught.

Yin Yening remembered that on the soft sandy beach of the small island, there were countless dusks, he leaned on F's lap, listened to his singing, and slowly fell asleep.

His appearance became thinner and more handsome, as if the years had left no traces on him, almost as if the time in F's world stopped, his world also stopped at the same time.

Two years with him, then two years without him.Yin Yening had had enough, so even if she was timid, even if she flinched, even if she ran away endlessly, she always came here again.

His heart began beating abnormally and violently since he arrived on the island, and his legs and feet began to feel heavy. The closer he got to the cliff, the more he wanted to run over, but at the same time he also wanted to turn around and run away immediately.

He will never forget him.I always thought that I was walking on the edge of love, I always thought that I didn't really fall in love with him, but I still can't forget it.

But, but... He didn't dare to look at it, and he didn't dare and didn't want to face the consequences he had personally caused.

The wind on the cliff is always strong, and it is suffocating when it comes oncoming.

He walked up slowly, step by step, each step was extremely difficult and hesitant.

That person was still lying there quietly.

Over the past two years, how many times of sun and rain have accumulated layers of stains and rust on the already dilapidated body.

F opened his eyes slightly, facing the emptiness of the blue sky, only half of his face was covered with mottled rust, and after so many times of rain washing, the rust was stretched from the corner of his eyes, like a drop of red tears.

Yin Yening sat down beside him, feeling the stinging wind, stretched out her hand, and clasped his index finger with her little finger.

But it just slipped off.He tried again and still couldn't snap it in.

"You're still very angry..."

As he said this, he couldn't hide his emotions, and he grabbed his hand, holding it tightly.

He held his hand like this, and sat until the sunset, then took off his windbreaker, wrapped him up, and hugged him up.

◇

"I told you, no, yes, yes!" Fang Jili threw away the cigarette, and scratched at the disheveled hair: "You think I'm a god? You made it like this and let me fix it? You're funny!"

"If I want you to fix it, you must fix it for me!"

"It hurts, it hurts, it hurts! Don't bully the powerless scientist like this! Do you really want to repair it? To be honest, rebuilding one is better than repairing this shit... Hey, hey, it hurts! Yin Yening, Sit down for me, sit down for me honestly!"

He couldn't resist him, and finally, the scientist of the soft-legged shrimp also roared.

"Yin Yening! Tell yourself what you are! After doing this one time at a time, you think he is a machine anyway, so you can fix it, don't you? Let me tell you, I also think he is just a robot, you buy it back I can do whatever I want with love!"

Before Yin Yening could refute, Fang Jili continued to shout: "But at the same time, to me as the maker, he is also my work, in a sense like my son! Even if what I made is not a robot but Refrigerator, you always make it like this, and I think you don't cherish the fruits of my labor too much!"

"I know... I was wrong."

"You are wrong, you are wrong, you say that every time! How can you really know that you are wrong?"

"So what if I say that every time?" Yin Yening also raised her voice: "Isn't it just money, I'll just pay you double!"

According to the laws of the universe, you must never try to use money to kill people who think they have romantic feelings.

"I quit." Fang Jili slapped the table and left.

Then the scientist and his family went on a trip to Europe. It was originally scheduled for two months, but within two weeks, Yin Yening went to Florence to bring him back.

At this time, Yin Yening's arrogance was obviously a lot weaker.

"It's my fault, you can target me. He's just lying on your lab table like that, can you bear it?"

"I'm a very kind person! But you have such a bad heart," Fang Jili snorted, "I won't be able to bear it until I revive him and hand him over to you again!"

"I assure you..." Yin Yening lowered her head and said slowly.

"Forget it! I won't listen," the scientist tossed his pigtails and let out a sigh of relief: "At least you listen to me, this is the last time! I will do what I said, and if anything happens, bring it back to me Xiu, Yin Yening, don't even think about it!"

Yin Yening nodded silently.

Then there is the long wait.

Fang Jili said that the repair is a meticulous work, because there is almost no good part of F's body, and the effort to restore him to his original state can be compared with Da Vinci's effort in painting his Mona Lisa smile.

Yin Yening must have come to the laboratory every day to watch F come back to life bit by bit.Sometimes he would fall asleep in the laboratory when he forgot the time, and Fang Jili was so angry that he yelled for him to pay the rent all day long.

"The memory card is completely destroyed, he won't remember anything," he took out the rusty chip and shook it: "Don't expect to be as lucky as last time, this time it's a complete reset— —”

"..."

don't remember anything?

"Then, can he...will he..."

Fang Jili sneered when he finally couldn't ask the question he wanted to ask.

"Will you continue to enshrine you like a god and be madly obsessed with you? You are the boss, you decide! What do you want me to do? You are ashamed to make him forget the bad things you did and continue If I like you so much, I am willing to do it for you!"

Yin Yening heard that something turned his thinking into a mess, making him in a fog for a long time, in a trance without a sense of reality.

"All of this, really...is it just a program?"

"You fucking talk nonsense, of course it's just a program." Fang Jili rolled his eyes at him, and suddenly added: "It's just a program. If he is a real person, what kind of life will he live in this life!"

◇

It took another half a year for F to wake up again.

After such a long time, no one has seen Joshua again, and the police have put the case on hold.Yin Yening also admitted in his heart that he was dead, and he occasionally thought, maybe that person has not forgotten the past, but sat on the green grass, sent Cheng Fei away with a sober smile, and walked soberly to the sea.

He and Cheng Fei have not been in touch since then.In Yin Yening's view, choosing to forget and return to her family to live a peaceful and hypocritical life is an unattainable tenacity.How much willpower and strength is needed to live a life of lies, and he will never have such a persistent idea as Cheng Fei.

Everything, when he picked up F again, became completely insignificant.

At that moment, he realized how much he missed him.

The heart was pressed against the cold body, sourly permeated with nostalgia, guilt, anxiety and a kind of dark throbbing just around the corner.

Then, a certain sentence, a certain thought broke through the barriers I set up without any barriers, and became clear in an open and honest manner.

Fall in love with a robot.

He fell in love with F.

It's just a one-sentence acknowledgment, how simple it is.But for this simple acknowledgment, how much he made him suffer in vain.

The deep black eyes looked at him, as if meeting him for the first time, with a gentle smile that made him throb.

Yin Yening hurried up, gently and slowly stroked his hair and his cheeks, as if facing some precious treasure, carefully.

Colorless lips raised slightly, F smiled, and opened his mouth slowly.

"……Owner."

Owner……?

A shadow flashed across Yin Yening's eyes, but he didn't want others to see it, so he forced a smile.

Master - a strange appellation, is the reset of all the stories.

This time, Fang Jili did not run the program on F that made him fall in love with him, so F would not fall in love with him at first sight like before.

He already had such a realization that he took this decision as a punishment for himself.

From now on, he hopes to protect this F who no longer remembers him or loves him, warms him slowly with his feelings, and compensates him for the harm he has suffered from him.

This was his wish, but he forgot how emotionally cowardly he was.

◇

"Got home."

Yin Yening brought F to the bungalow she newly purchased in the suburbs, and opened the car door.

Even if he started all over again, he still lost the courage to bring him back to the small island.

That place... it's better to sell it as soon as possible, he thought in his heart, the island seemed to be under some spell, once he stepped on it, bad things would always happen.

"This is very similar to where we used to live. I specially arranged it like this. Come in quickly."

As he spoke, he opened the door, pulled the person in, and then went to untie his scarf and hang up his coat. When F suddenly found out that it was Yin Yening busy, his expression was quite embarrassed.

"This...Master, you are wrong! You have done all this, so what should I do? It stands to reason that I should open the door, and then I will serve you..."

After hearing his words, Yin Yening felt sour: "What are you talking about, you are not my servant!"

F was taken aback when he heard the words, his expression seemed to be asking "Aren't I?"

"Also...you never called me 'Master' before."

F smiled: "...Then, what should I call Master you?"

"You call me 'Night'."

When F heard this address, he seemed startled again.

"What's wrong?" Because of his reaction, Yin Yening's heart moved: "Do you feel familiar?"

"No... nothing..."

"No, then why were you so dazed just now?" Yin Yening couldn't let him go: "Did you remember something? You remembered something, you remembered me, right?"

F shook his head, his expression was a bit embarrassed, under Yin Yening's expectant eyes, he hesitated and said: "I'm sorry, actually... I don't like the name 'Ye' very much, of course, if the master insists..."

"……do not like?"

"Hmm... I don't know why, but I always feel that this name is weird."

"Impossible! How could you not like it! It's absolutely impossible, it's obviously you..."

Obviously you insisted on calling me that...

Yin Yening suddenly realized that she was too excited. F, whose shoulders were held by him and dangled like straws, looked at him in astonishment, looking a little frightened.

"Sorry……"

F's expression was still blank, and he shook his head.

"I'm going to take a shower."

Desperately, he put him down and hid under the shower head.The hazy mist covered everything, he told himself over and over again, it's okay, everything will return to the original, he just needs time, just needs time...

Lying on the bed, F's chest was looming under the slightly transparent shirt, Yin Yening swallowed, but looking at those dark, somewhat innocent eyes, he just kissed him lightly, then hugged him tightly. Looking at him, she wrapped the person in her arms tightly with hugs and quilts, thinking that this was enough.

At least, you can hold him like this again...

He remembered in the past, when he met F for the first time, F understood at that time, lowered his eyes, and unbuttoned his shirt by himself.

However, now he can't expect him to do the same.Now, everything is just starting from scratch.