Stockholm syndrome

"Dad!" I went to the bedroom and found that my dad was lying on his bed and fell asleep, with a towel covering his stomach, which should have been covered by Li Weiran.Several wine bottles were slanted on the bedroom floor.He never drank before.I walked over and shook him, but my dad snorted and didn't respond, so I yelled again.He suddenly got up trembling, stood up unsteadily and was about to go out, I hurried to help him.

"Chen'er was discharged from the hospital today, I'm going to pick him up."

"I'm back, Dad, look at me." I pulled my dad to make him turn to me, and the heavy alcohol breath from his mouth sprayed on my face.

"Chen'er, Chen'er." My dad was stunned for a while before he came to his senses.Hug me.Face buried in my shoulders. "Xiaomei is gone, she doesn't want us anymore." My dad started to cry while talking, warm tears streaming down my neck.These days in the hospital, I have already adjusted my emotions. I want to live a good life with my dad, and live a good life with my mother.But my dad hugged me and cried like this, I really couldn't hold it anymore.Looking up, I saw a portrait of my mother on the cabinet. In the black and white photo, the person frowned and smiled.I gritted my teeth and forced back the tears.I patted my dad on the back once and for all.

"Dad, we two must live a good life, don't let my mother laugh at me. I will be filial to you." I shouted at my mother's portrait, for her spirit in heaven, but also for myself.

My dad held me and cried for a long time, hiccupped a few times, and fell asleep again.I want to move him to the bed. My dad weighs 220 Jin, which is very heavy.I bent down to hold him on my shoulders, my legs were shaking violently.After lying in the hospital for a month, my physical strength has not recovered.Suddenly my back lightened, I raised my head and watched Li Weiran put Dad's arm around his neck and dragged him up.The muscles in his arms swelled so much that he must have used a lot of strength.

Li Weiran put my dad on the bed, pulled up the towel that was left aside and covered him.I stood up on my knees, sweat dripping from my forehead.It is said that excessive sadness can make people grow old overnight, which is somewhat exaggerated.But my dad is really old.I haven't seen him for a month, and I almost don't recognize him.My dad is very fat, with few wrinkles on his face and looks young.But now his face is covered with wrinkles, and he seems to have aged 10 years in this month.I touched his face lightly, the messy stubble was a bit prickly, and his withered and yellow complexion made me feel very distressed.

"It's noon, let's stay here for dinner." I walked towards the kitchen.Reaching out to open the refrigerator, there was nothing in the refrigerator.The cold breath hit the face.My home doesn't really look like a home right now.

"Ah Shen, you go take a shower. Take a rest. I'll go out and buy some food." Li Weiran stood behind me at some point, he stretched out his hand and gently squeezed my shoulder, and turned to leave.But he was grabbed by me.

"Li Weiran, I remember the great favor our family owes you, and I will never forget it in my life."

"What's wrong with you again?" Li Weiran shook off his hand and did not yell loudly.It's been hard for him, he's never been a caring person. "How many times have I said that I regard your mother as a relative."

"But, after all, we are not your relatives." What our family owes him and their family, I don't know if we can pay it off in this life.He has made it clear that he did it voluntarily, because my mother treated him well, so he did it.No matter how hypocritical I am, it doesn't mean anything.But I really don't want to owe him anything.Such an ambiguous relationship is too messy.Like he once said, I'm just pretending to be smart.My brain is not working.If you don't make it clear, I don't understand.

"You prepare for the college entrance examination first. I will be here during this time. You can call me if you have anything to do. If you think it is more convenient to review at home, then don't go to school. I will ask Wang Tianyi to talk to Lao Zhang at school. He knows everything about your family. I won't embarrass you." Li Weiran pulled out his hand.I pressed my forehead against the refrigerator door, and the sound of Li Weiran closing the security door came from behind me.

I have so much to say to him, but I don't know how to speak.This is not the first time this happened, and sure enough, I was still too cowardly.Li Weiran also said that I am a very cowardly person.Now I realize that, as my mother once said, Li Weiran is the one who understands me best, but I just don't understand how a man with backbone like him can get mixed up with someone like me.My mother's voice seemed to come to my ears, in Putonghua with a Suzhou accent, she yelled Xiaowei Xiaowei, praising him while despising her son for being bad.

If only we were a family.The family is happy together.Since my mother likes Li Weiran so much, she shouldn't dislike him as a boy.Behind my father's back, my mother and I discussed getting married in the future.My mother said you can do whatever you want, and she doesn't expect me to be attracted by some wealthy daughter.She said that I actually look good, but I have no temperament.I'm a man and I really don't care about my appearance, but what she said still hurt me.Compared with my father, my mother is a more open-minded parent. She can look for whatever she wants, and it is up to you whether you want children or not.If I'm in a good mood, I'll show you the child. If I'm in a bad mood, you two can take care of it yourself.If Li Weiran and I became a family.Even the children are saved.Our family lives like this, how nice it is.

There is no edge when people dream, I shook my head and walked into the toilet, threw all the clothes into the basin, turned on the nozzle and walked in.Don't think too much about things in the future, I always warn myself like this, but it's unavoidable fantasy.I really don't have a long memory.

Li Weiran had just come back from the outside after taking a shower.He came in with two big bags.I took it over and saw that except for the three takeaways from Yoshinoya, they were all vegetables. He didn't know how to buy things, so he bought them exactly like the vegetables we bought in the supermarket last time.I always thought he had a bad memory, but he didn't even miss a little thing like Jiang.

"Ask Uncle Ye to get up for dinner?" Li Weiran put the food on the coffee table and pointed to my dad's room.

"No need, let him sleep for a while." I carried the vegetable bag to the kitchen and took out two spoons. "Let's just put it aside and eat." I pulled out two Mazzas from behind the sofa and handed him one.

"You dry your hair before eating."

"It's okay. It's so warm." I put on my clothes casually, with a towel on my head.Some drops of water flowed down the neck.

Li Weiran put down his chopsticks, stood up, walked to the sofa behind me and sat down.Picking up the towel I had draped over my head, I began to dry my hair.His hands were too strong, I was shaken by him, and I caught several chopsticks, either poking my cheeks or poking my nose.

"How can I eat like this?"

"You can eat what you want, and leave me alone."

"Li Weiran, I think you are sincere. You put so much effort, why should I eat?" I simply put down my chopsticks.

"Then I'll take it easy." Li Weiran's hands were much weaker. "I've never served anyone before. To wipe your hair is to embarrass you. Why is there so much trouble?"

"Just admit it if you're stupid. Don't make excuses."

"You're stupid." Li Weiran opened the towel, wrapped my whole head, and put it under my arm.Before we knew it, we were back to our former intimacy.No one opened their mouths to talk about the reunion, but they unconsciously regarded each other as close people.I'm still used to this feeling, and when I see the other person's face, I can't help but want to touch and hug it.It seems that these six months did not exist at all, SARS did not happen, our family is fine, and Li Weiran did not go to study abroad.Nothing, just a nightmare I was having.

"Is England fun?"

"just OK."

"What's your evaluation? How many people are eager to study abroad."

"I still think it's good to be in China. The food in England is too bad." Li Weiran took the towel off my head, and my hair was already half dry.He hugged me from behind like before.The body temperature coming through the thin fabric made me feel inexplicably at ease. "The last time I dreamed, I also dreamed that you made me a big plate of dried kidney beans. It made me laugh, but I laughed so hard that I woke up laughing before I could eat it."

"Promise." I picked up Li Weiran's hand and looked it over carefully, it was still the same as before, but the calluses on the palm of his hand were much thinner, and he no longer played basketball. "Ask you something."

"Ah."

"It's just... you're going to study abroad... and..." I organized the language for a long time, but I didn't know how to speak.He said that he would marry a wife and have children and take up the responsibility of the family.What right do I have to ask him to stay by my side, but I still have a little delusion in my heart.I can't live without him.

"Ah Shen, you remember. No matter when, as long as you are in danger, I will definitely be there. I will protect you for the rest of your life."

"Pull it." I pushed Li Weiran's knee and sat down. Holding chopsticks, I stuffed a potato from the lunch box into my mouth. "Don't make yourself look like a superman. I don't know who will protect whom in the future. Feng Shui takes turns."

"At least next to you, I'm really a superman." Li Weiran grabbed the Mazar, sat down next to me, and began to eat rice in his mouth. "Didn't you just ask me something?"

"I want to ask if you want to eat chili?"

"No, that's fine."