Overwhelm the gangster

My name is Huang Zhao, my happiness ended very early, and it ended very suddenly in my previous life.In my second life, I never had happiness.

Misfortune has always been with me, counting at the moment when I was reborn, when I chose to hate Yangchen in a daze, at the moment when he was finally indirectly killed by me, when I knew his body In the second when I was no longer him, in the pain when I knew I was in love with him and he left me, in the moment when I knew that the person in front of me had his body but not his soul, all my happiness It's all over.

In my previous life, I liked Liu Ying. Everyone knew that she was a beautiful girl. Later, I eloped with my cousin Yang Chen, and both of them died.Later, I was reborn, and what I didn't expect was that Yang Chen also eloped, and that timid, timid and slightly closed Yang Chen had a second chance to start over just like me.

In that opportunity, I chose to hate him. I don't know his choice, but from the contact later, I think he should have chosen to like me.

It's just that I didn't seize the opportunity.

I don't know if there is a third chance in life, I just want to say, if there is, please return Yang Chen to me.This time I would rather trade it all.

However, this is really too much to ask for, and it is incredible that I have a second chance to live.How could you ask for anything else now?

I think my life should be gray and white like this, I can occasionally go to see Fang Tong who is wearing the Yangchen shell, and see his happiness when he and Fang Qian are together.

Just look at it once, your heart will hurt once, you will hate yourself once, you will love a little more, and miss you deeply once.

I went to see Fang Tong a lot. Before Fang Qian said anything, Fang Tong was a little unhappy. He told me bluntly, what's the use of looking at the same face, and it's not the same soul. If you can, look for it. The next stop is happiness, looking at other people's happiness, and self-abuse, sometimes it is very contemptuous.

After hearing this, I laughed, then looked at him and said, if it were you, would you fall in love with someone else?

Fang Tong shrugged indifferently and said, I am not you.I can only love Fang Qian.

Then I will only love Yang Chen.I said lightly.

Fang Tong looked at me, sighed and said, don't torture yourself, you are still young, you can't live in such a mature and deep way, right?People want to move forward, maybe one day, he will really come back to you?

I said maybe.Then I looked at his green face and couldn't bear it any longer. I added, in fact, you are also very young, but your soul is a little old.As soon as I finished speaking, Fang Qian stood up slowly, took a gun from under the table and pointed it at me, with the words "you are looking for death" written on his beautiful face, he said: "Do you think I am old? , not worthy of him?" Fang Tong hurriedly put away his gun, and said flatteringly, "Baby, put down the gun, what if you hurt your forehead? How can you grow old, don't talk nonsense?"

Fang Qian snorted coldly for a moment, but followed him and put down the gun.Seeing their happy appearance, my eyes became hot, and I quickly raised my head to stop the tears from flowing down.

Later, I reduced the number of times I went to see Fang Tong, because Fang Tong's impatience meant Fang Qian's impatience, and Fang Qian's impatience meant that Fang Tong would stop seeing me because of him.

I don't want to lose a chance to see Yang Chen, I don't want to have a day, I can't even remember his appearance, that would be too painful for me.

When I have nothing to do and miss Yang Chen very much, I will go to the bar to drink. I don't want to accept my father's business, and my mother has nothing to do with me, but I just want to anesthetize.

My stomach is not very good. When Yang Chen was here, I was always afraid that my stomach would not be able to take it. Every time I went to school and saw me eating something that irritated my stomach, he would always remind me not to eat too much.It’s just that I hated him at that time, so I never listened to him, but now, my stomach hurts from drinking, and I vomit blood a few times, but no one is timid and can’t help but step forward to care about me .

My Yang Chen, when can I see you again?Even if you can't see it in reality, why don't you appear in the dream?Chat with me occasionally, let me hear your voice, let me know that you have really appeared in my life, okay?

I prayed like this, but this kind of prayer was almost useless. I still rarely dreamed of Yang Chen. Even if I did, it was when he fell down in a dark alley, on the cold concrete floor, his head He closed his eyes while bleeding, and when he opened them again, he looked at me with strange eyes.

Every time I dream about this scene, I can't sleep anymore.Lie on the bed and watch the sky slowly turn from dark to gray and finally until dawn.I kept thinking about how he died over and over again in my mind.

Fang Tong said that I was looking for death in this situation, but I didn't, because I couldn't die. If I died, Yang Chen would be sad and sad, so I wanted to live well.

The poisonous snake doctor said that if I stay like this for a few more years, I will definitely go to hell early, so let me persevere and die early, and don't waste his energy to save me, but every time I have a stomachache, I can't stand the pain, and in the end I still have to trouble him.Every time Doctor Viper sees me, his eyes are not good, and he seems to want to use a scalpel to kill me.

I lived in such a muddle until the day I was 30 years old. I drank too much and my stomach hurt badly. Passed out in the driver's seat.

That night, I dreamed of Yang Chen, he stood there looking at me quietly, he stretched out his hand to stroke my face, then showed a timid but beautiful smile, he said, Cousin, don't worry.

I said, well, I'll be fine.He smiled, and then the mist rose to cover his blurred face, his figure and that smile slowly disappeared before my eyes, I reached out to grab him, but what I finally caught was a piece of cold air.

The moment my heart ached, I sat up suddenly.

Before I could recall the heart-piercing pain, someone slapped my head hard. When I turned around, I saw Doctor Viper glaring at me fiercely. He said, don’t die in my hospital bed even if you want to die. superior.

I looked at him, sanity recovered, and I said, why am I here?

He packed his things neatly, and said with a sneer, where would you be if you weren't here?Fang Qian sent you here, there is no way, this city is too small, you can meet acquaintances everywhere you go, you won't die this time, and you won't die next time, so if you can't bear it, don't stay here, You die outside, and don't tell your parents when you die, so as not to worry them, let them always think that you are living well in the colorful world outside.

After saying this, Doctor Viper left without waiting for my reply. When the white coat disappeared in front of my eyes, it reminded me of an angel.

In fact, I know that his mouth is poisonous, but his heart is good.What he said was nothing more than to let me leave this sad place and see the outside world. Although it may not be helpful to me, maybe one day I will come back here again with a smile on my face.

It is the kind of smile that knows happiness even if it hurts.

I thought, I really should go out for a walk.

My father and mother didn't say anything after knowing my decision. My mother looked at me and hesitated to speak. I hugged her to reassure her.In the end, the mother did not speak.As a mother, I always understand my son's thoughts. If I don't speak up, I am giving my son the greatest tolerance. For this, I am grateful.

Soon, I packed up and saluted, and I decided to look around, maybe I will stay there forever when I see a certain beautiful scenery, maybe I will always live there like Doctor Viper said, maybe one day I will Will be back.

I first traveled around Asia, went to Japan to see Mount Fuji, went to Thailand to see ladyboys, and lived in Malaysia for two days... Then I left, stop and go along the way, and the days passed quickly.

Every time I go to a place, I will always call my parents to tell them they are safe, and occasionally I will send a postcard to Fang Tong. Thinking of Fang Qian's jealous look after seeing the postcard, I will have an unspeakable pleasure.

After traveling around Asia, I went to Europe. First I went to France because it was romantic. After I went there, I felt that the romance of other people was sad to me. I only stayed for one night and then I left. Then I went to Strict Germany, drink their special beer in the bar there, watch a football game with them, and cheer together at the end.

After cheering, I fell on the bed of the hotel and pretended to be dead. After I died, I started again, tossing and tossing over and over again. Finally, I had no strength, and I left that rigorous country.

Then I went to England. On the day I arrived in London, it was raining. It is often said that nine days out of ten in London there is no sun, and eight and a half days it rained.

I fell in love with it instantly. I like cloudy days. When it's raining, I like to go out without an umbrella. The feeling of rain falling on my face is not so good.

I plan to live here for a long time, so on a rare sunny day, I rented a house.

There is a lake not far from where I live now. The surface of the lake is very beautiful on rainy days. I often walk around the lake. Many people think I am sick, but out of gentlemanly demeanor, no one comes forward to ask. I.

It was a very normal rainy day, and I sat on a stone bench next to the lake without an umbrella again, carefully watching the rainwater hitting the lake and watching the lake water ripple.

I think this kind of scenery is really beautiful.

While I was in a trance, there was a sound of footsteps behind me.I ignored it, maybe it was a passerby, maybe it was someone who likes to walk in the rain like me, but it was just a stranger, I didn't look back.

But the footsteps stopped behind me, and then a nervous voice said, "Hello, sir."

Apart from him, there is only me here. I understand that he is really talking to me. In the past, I would not pay attention to him, but when I heard his slightly nervous tone, I turned my head tightly in my heart.

Standing in front of me is a boy with a very ordinary face. He looks about 20 years old. He looks very ordinary. Heavy eyes, wet hair dripping with rain.When he saw me, he had a shy smile on his lips.

That smile reminds me of Yang Chen.

To be honest, during the time I was traveling, I hardly thought about that indispensable existence in my life, because I was very busy, I was busy looking at the scenery, busy taking the car, and busy making phone calls every day. , Every day when I go back to the hotel from outside, I almost fell asleep on the bed, so I don't have time to think about the one that makes me feel bad.

But now, this person reminds me of him.

Maybe it's for this reason, I don't feel irritable in my heart, I think even if it's not Yang Chen, it's good to have someone who makes me think it's him.So I asked, "Is something wrong?"

He nodded shyly, handed me a delicate drawing board carefully, and said: "I... I am a student of the Fine Arts Department of xx University. I like to draw, but the professor always says that my paintings are not Reiki, especially people, has nice lines but no emotion. So... so, I'm always looking for inspiration these days. I... I drew you and I think you impress me so much, so can you please You are my model... I will pay you... okay?"

After saying this, he looked at me without blinking, with tension and excitement deep in his eyes, his hands were tightly together with me, as if he was waiting for my decision.

I didn't answer him, but looked at the drawing board he handed me. On it was a sketch, which was my image, outlined with a few strokes, with eyebrows and eyes, thin lips, and the smile at the corner of my mouth, no matter how fickle it looked .What caught my attention was the pair of eyes, the eyes are ordinary black and white, but it makes people feel depressed.

Putting away the drawing board, I looked at the boy who was separated from me by a rain curtain, and he was waiting for my answer.

I handed him the drawing board, and after a moment of silence, I said, "Yes. However, you promise that these paintings will not hinder me."

"No, don't worry, absolutely not. I can assure you of this." The boy took the words in an instant, as if he was afraid that I would go back on his word.

I looked at him and passed the drawing board.

Let's just think of it as a kindness that spread out by chance. I want to accumulate some virtues, and then when I meet Yang Chen one day, I can use these virtues on him to seek happiness for him in the next life.

After the boy took the drawing board, he asked me when I could start to be his exclusive model. I thought about it and said, wait for the next sunny day.

There was obvious disappointment on his face, I squinted and looked at him, as if looking at him again and through someone else, he whispered: "You haven't appeared here on a sunny day, will you really come?"

I said, yes, next sunny day, I will definitely be here.

He grinned, showing eight white teeth, then he nodded and said, "Well, I'll wait for you."

I hummed, stood up, and said to him, I should go.The boy nodded and said, "You go first, I will stay for a while, don't forget our agreement."

I smiled and didn't speak.I left the lakeside and walked along the path for a long time. When I turned around, the young man was still by the lake, in the rain, with his back to me, quietly, like a tree.I turned and left.

That night, I went home and lay in bed very early. I had no dreams all night, and it was rare to sleep well.